BTDT moms w/2 little ones (under age 3 or 4)

[janinegirly]

So thought it would be nice to have a thread for those about to have 2 - to get some advice from BTDT moms on how to logistically and realistically manage the day to day things. Things I have always wondered:

*how do you go grocery shopping with 2? (alone). I guess an infant seat can go in the cart with toddler sitting up front - and eventually 2 sit upfront?

*how do you go out to dinner successfully with 2?

*how do you handle naps with 2? bedtime?

*how do you handle baths with 2? Especially if you are a working mom?

*how do you handle preschool dropoff for a toddler with a newborn?

Feel free to chime in and/or add questions!

 

[somethingshiny]

My son is 5 and my daughter is one. I also babysit a 4 month old.

*how do you go grocery shopping with 2? (alone). I guess an infant seat can go in the cart with toddler sitting up front - and eventually 2 sit upfront?
Alone if at all possible, or I take the older one so we get a little one-one time. Kids make shopping unnecessarily stressful. Sometimes that hour at the store is the only down-time you'll have.

*how do you go out to dinner successfully with 2?
we don't take them to dinner. With 2 kids, if you can get a dinner alone with your SO. do it. Otherwise it"s just too much work with the kids. Trying to find something for them to eat, cutting their food, cleaning up the drink spills, getting them to wait patiently....no fun for anyone.

*how do you handle naps with 2? bedtime?
JT still took naps when Lily was born. Since he had one short nap it wasn't feasible to get the schedules together, Now that JT is older and I babysit a LO, I try very hard to get the naps at the same time. I NEED that 1.5 hrs to collect myself.

*how do you handle baths with 2? Especially if you are a working mom?
One right after the other. Easy if you have Dad help. Wash the baby, hand him/her out to Dad. Run clean water and put the next one in. The older one usually wants to play.

*how do you handle preschool drop-off for a toddler with a newborn?
This was difficult for me since we have cold winters. It was hard to get both dressed, out the door, unpack the baby at school, take everyone in, get back in the car, etc. My MIL would sometimes stay for the 10 mins it took to take JT, but what worked out really well was my neighbor. Our kids were in the same class so I'd take both and she"d watch Lily.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

So thought it would be nice to have a thread for those about to have 2 - to get some advice from BTDT moms on how to logistically and realistically manage the day to day things. Things I have always wondered:

*how do you go grocery shopping with 2? (alone). I guess an infant seat can go in the cart with toddler sitting up front - and eventually 2 sit upfront?

*how do you go out to dinner successfully with 2?

*how do you handle naps with 2? bedtime?

*how do you handle baths with 2? Especially if you are a working mom?

*how do you handle preschool dropoff for a toddler with a newborn?

Feel free to chime in and/or add questions!

My kids are 15 months and 3.

I rarely used the infant seat when grocery shopping alone and out with the older child. The times I would, we used a Snap N Go and I put the few items in the stroller basket. Older child walked. What I usually did was put the baby in the Ergo and either the toddler walked or I put her in the cart.

We go out to eat a lot with two. It's much, much easier when the baby is a newborn. A lot of times I kept him in the Ergo and he slept while I ate. Your husband will then be responsible for your older child. Remember to put a napkin on their heads! The key for us to eat out early- like senior citizen early. We usually leave at 4.15 or 4.30pm to have an early dinner. Now both kids need to be separated and not sitting next to each other, lest DS try to grab DD's food. Always eat with one butt cheek off the chair, ready to get something for the kids.

OK, I am a complete and utter failure at napping and doing bedrime alone with 2. We both need another person there to help b/c our daughter will not sit by herself. She was and still is jealous and I couldn't leave her alone to color or whatever while I napped the other one. I've done it on rare occasions; normally she'll come looking for me or get up to no good. Right now, we take turns putting DS to bed/nap. I do bath for DD and then DH puts her to bed.

Baths...this is probably going to be gross, but up until DS was 14 months or so, we were only bathing him twice a week or as needed. I sit in the tub with him b/c he's so rambunctious and is all over the place, trying to get out of it. We've now moved to every other day, still with me in the tub. We tried doing both kids at the same time but he freaked out for some reason when I poured water on DD's head (she was quite fine with it) and he still kept trying to get out. Right now he's in a phase where he's crying hysterically and is really trying to get out so I need DH to hold him still for me. At some point I hope to be able to have DH bathe one while I do the other at the same time, but perhaps in separate tubs.

Ah, preschool drop-off- when I was on maternity leave, we still kept DD in daycare for most of the time. I would put DS in the Ergo and go in that way. A lot of parents will just use a Snap N' Go but our daycare has steps and DD's room at the time was in the basement with steps. I got really good at putting DS in there in 20 secs or so. We got a child-size backpack and put DD's stuff in there, that way if my arms were really laden down for some reason, she could wear the pack herself and not wrestle with an adult-sized one.

 

[somethingshiny]

bedtime- DH and I do it together, each starts with one child then swap for stories and cuddles. prayers together and then kids in bed. Early bedtime is mandatory. You have to have alone time with your spouse. When Lily was first born, DH worked 2nd shift. I put both kids in JT's bed and did stories, cuddles and prayers then took Lily to her room. We all like the one-on-one time much better.

 

[swingirl]

So thought it would be nice to have a thread for those about to have 2 - to get some advice from BTDT moms on how to logistically and realistically manage the day to day things. Things I have always wondered:

*how do you go grocery shopping with 2? (alone). I guess an infant seat can go in the cart with toddler sitting up front - and eventually 2 sit upfront? Wait til hubby is home. Go alone and find a 24 hr grocery store.

*how do you go out to dinner successfully with 2? You don't. Get a babysitter for special dinners and enjoy yourselves. Get carry out for casual meals at home.

*how do you handle naps with 2? bedtime? This was never a problem as they had different schedules.

*how do you handle baths with 2? Especially if you are a working mom? Baths can be flexible. I washed my babies after every poo diaper with a quick soap and water dip in the bathroom sink.I didn't find the need to bathe them every single night if time was tight or someone was grouchy.

*how do you handle preschool dropoff for a toddler with a newborn? I carried the newborn around in a front pack (not a front facing one) which kept my hands free to handle the toddler.

Feel free to chime in and/or add questions!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

My kids are older now, but even though they're 9 and 10 (but two years apart by just a few months) deal with the chaos of grocery shopping.

When young, I'd put the carseat on top and my toddler in the cart. Then I'd put one of those plastic hand shopping baskets on that space/shelf under the cart and fill it up. Then I'd stuff food around my toddler in the cart. We would go shopping more often b/c I didn't have a lot of cart space. As they grew older, we sometimes used those carts that are shaped like cars, but they are really hard to steer so I tried to avoid them. Grocery shopping was never fun when they were little.

Now, it's just as bad because they not only ask for things (so we always leave the store with more than I meant to buy), my son READS THE LABELS and tells me if an ingredient isn't good for us. He flips over high frutose corn syrup and food dyes. I'm into healthy eating, but lately have been using a sharpy pen and blacking out ingredients he may not approve of since I still buy a bit of junk.

Since both were boys, they took baths together when little (like 2 & 4) and that way they could play in there. They would make HUGE messes, but they'd also stay in the bath for about an hour so it was worth have 5 towels soaked through.

The naps: To get them to nap at the same time, I use to put them in the car and drive around till they fell asleep. lol We always went for an afternoon ride.

Dinners: We found certain resturants were especially noisy and went to those so we didn't have to worry about the kids being loud!

 

[jas]

I have twins (almost 3) so some of this doesn't apply.

*how do you go grocery shopping with 2? (alone). I guess an infant seat can go in the cart with toddler sitting up front - and eventually 2 sit upfront? My stores have Big Rigs (with two seats in the cart) OR one walks while the other rides. If kids are coming, keep the list short, engage "help" from kids who can help ("Hmmm, where are the apples? Help me count 3 apples.")

*how do you go out to dinner successfully with 2? Early dining time, plenty of "activities" in a special bag I only bring to restaurants. Discuss expectations with the older kid. Helps to have another adult there.

*how do you handle naps with 2? bedtime? I've had to separate mine. One naps, the other has given it up. I insist on "quiet time" whether they sleep or not. They can read or do quiet games in bed.
*how do you handle baths with 2? Especially if you are a working mom? To be honest, mine don't get a bath every day...every other day only. Mine bathe together, but again it helps to have another adult around for the "getting out" part. However, I've done it alone...towels are laid on the floor...one kid is wrapped in a towel QUICKLY while kid #2 is yanked out of the tub. But bathing one one day and the other another day is not a bad way to go

*how do you handle preschool dropoff for a toddler with a newborn? Sorry, I can't help help here. I would, however, ask the school how they've done this. I've seen a lot of mommy's juggling a newborn in a carrier while holding the toddler's hand in the parking lot.

Feel free to chime in and/or add questions!

 

[qtiekiki]

My kids are 18 months and 3 yrs old.

*how do you go grocery shopping with 2? (alone). I guess an infant seat can go in the cart with toddler sitting up front - and eventually 2 sit upfront?

I haven't gone shopping with 2 alone. Usually all 4 of us go together. When DS was a newborn, we carried or wore him and DD sat in the cart. Now DD walks and DS sits in the seat, and sometimes DD will ask to go in the basket. Occasionally one of us will take one kid along, or just run to the store by ourselves. I also do some grocery shopping during lunch.

*how do you go out to dinner successfully with 2?

We just go to kid friendly restaurants. DD is pretty good at staying in her seat. DS isn't, so sometimes we have to take him for a walk outside or let him on the floor if there's an area by our table that wouldn't bother other patrons. It was easier when he was a newborn.

*how do you handle naps with 2? bedtime?

Their nap schedules were different on most days since DD takes one nap and DS takes two. Sometimes they end up napping at the same time. The easiest had been when DS falls asleep first, then I make DD take a nap. I can tell DD to not bother DS, but it doesn't work the other way around since he can't quite understand. Bedtime - I get DD and DH gets DS. We have a bad situation where I have to lie down with DD until she falls asleep, so there's no other way.

*how do you handle baths with 2? Especially if you are a working mom?

I bath/shower them together now. When DS was a newborn, I bath him only twice a week. So some days, I only have DD to bath. Around 11 months, I started bathing/showering them together in the tub. I don't draw a bath, just soap and hose them down with the shower head. Then DH dresses DS, and I dress DD. On days when DH isn't around, I take DS out first and let DD play in the tub.

*how do you handle preschool dropoff for a toddler with a newborn?

DH drops off DD at preschool because it is in his office building.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I was just thinking more about going out to eat (we go out at least 2 or 3 times on the weekends). We have this for our son and we love it: http://www.buybuybaby.com/product.asp?SKU=112739&RN=7125&.. It (mostly) contains his mess and then just rolls right up into itself when it's time to go. We also use a high chair cover not for the germs but to catch his crayons, cup, food bits, etc. It makes clean up so much easier and helps to not leave a mess at the restaurant.

The other major thing is to know your audience! If the kids are cranky or you suspect a meltdown, don't go. There have been a lot of times we planned to go out but someone didn't nap well or long enough or someone is sick or whatever. Going out then would just be asking for it, so we don't go

 

[Dreamer_D]

Great idea for a thread Janine! I was thinking we needed one like this because I have a 2.5 year old and a newborn, and it seems to raise a whole host of issues that are unique to that situation and don't really fit in the newborn or toddler threads specifically.

Back later to post more!

 

[oobiecoo]

So thought it would be nice to have a thread for those about to have 2 - to get some advice from BTDT moms on how to logistically and realistically manage the day to day things. Things I have always wondered:

I'm pregnant with my second and they will be 16 months apart so I'll give my best guess as to what we will do.

*how do you go grocery shopping with 2? (alone). I guess an infant seat can go in the cart with toddler sitting up front - and eventually 2 sit upfront?
If I have to bring them both, then I will wear the baby in the Mei Tai and put the older one in the basket seat. I really like shopping alone though, even if I have to do it at midnight so I'll try to continue that.

*how do you go out to dinner successfully with 2?
Oh boy... this is going to be tough since its difficult enough with 1 kid. My guess is that we will be eating lots of take-out and home cooking. We don't have many people around here that we trust to babysit and I hate paying for Playcare so dinners out alone will probably never happen.

*how do you handle naps with 2? bedtime?
The baby will sleep in our room for the first few weeks but they will share a room after that. I'm still not sure how it will work out... what if one wakes the other in the middle of the night? I figure kids have shared rooms for AGES though and it always worked itself out. For naps, we have 2 bedrooms and a living/dining room so I guess I could separate them into different areas and try my hardest to get them on the same schedule eventually.


*how do you handle baths with 2? Especially if you are a working mom?
DH currently does bath duty and I assume that will continue. We'll probably do rolling bedtimes so he can do bath for youngest and I'll put them to bed while he does bath for oldest and then they will go to bed.

*how do you handle preschool dropoff for a toddler with a newborn?
They'll be so close in age so maybe we can start them in school at the same time? No clue though, really.

Feel free to chime in and/or add questions!

My biggest worry is getting everyone down the stairs and into the car since we live on the 3rd floor of our apartment building (no elevator).

 

[lliang_chi]

Not a mother of two, but I have siblings that are close in age (brother 15 months older & twin sister). I can't remember nap times, but I remember when we went to bed at night when we were toddlers, my parents would make sis sleep in their room and then move her to our room when she was asleep. They did this because we would talk or play together (we were on twin beds, not cribs). Maybe one of the kids can sleep in the room, and the other can fall asleep in the master. Then you guys can move the on in the master to the room.

I do remember sneaking out of my room and going over to my sister to say hi, so it's not exactly "fool proof."

Good luck moms!

 

[nfowife]

how do you go grocery shopping with 2? (alone). I guess an infant seat can go in the cart with toddler sitting up front - and eventually 2 sit upfront?
I don't like to bring the carseat in the store because it's not safe up top, and then you have no room for food when it's in the main basket of the cart. So I would put baby in a carrier and toddler up front.

*how do you go out to dinner successfully with 2? We don't do nicer meals out with kids. But places like Jason's Deli, Panera, etc. are fine. We usually go early, around 5, and then it's mostly families. We prefer eating at home though. For the $$ it's just easier and more enjoyable.

*how do you handle naps with 2? bedtime? Try to coordinate naptimes if possible. For bed I put the toddler down first when the baby was young but as they get older and move bedtime earlier that swaps. Have a safe gated play area so you can put baby down without worrying about the toddler.

*how do you handle baths with 2? Especially if you are a working mom? I bathed them together with the baby in this from 6 weeks on: http://www.amazon.com/Thermobaby-T2942W-Daphne-Infant-Bath/dp/B000VVRT6G/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1312377566&sr=8-1

*how do you handle preschool dropoff for a toddler with a newborn? Carry infant seat inside. Sucks but what are you going to do.