RoseAngel04
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2006
- Messages
- 865
{SIGH}
I have been having a MAJOR issue with getting one of my bridesmaids (I''ll call her BM J) to go get measured for her dress and make the downpayment. A little background. She was my middle school best friend. Our HS freshman year she moved to the outskirts, so we didn''t stay as close, but still kept contact. I will always consider her a close friend. Back in middle school she was the all American girl. Very innocent, dependable, polite etc. A "goody goody." Within the last year or so she changed, but we still remained friends. She was thrilled when I asked her to be a BM and has always been so sweet and offering help whenever I need it. About a month and a half ago I emailed all the BM''s about the dress and told them I needed them to go in by X date. Two weeks before X date I hadn''t heard that anyone went in, so I made an appointment for the deadline Saturday.
Rewind back to two weeks ago. I made a Saturday appointment where all 4 of my BM''s and I would go the the bridal store and have them see the dress, get measured, pay the downpayment, and sign the contract. ALL of my BM''s confirmed with me that they would make it. BM J calls me an hour or so before the appointment saying she had a flat tire, was getting it fixed and would be there as soon as she could. Meanwhile, I am with the other BM''s who came on time etc. We wait around a little, and around the time we are about to leave BM J calls, says her tire is fixed and she''s on her way. She apologizes and I explain to her that as longs as she takes care of in today (Sat.) or Sunday it''s OK. She reassures me that she will take care of if today (Sat.) and doesn''t want to be the "problem BM." I had other appointments that day and told her to come on, but that the rest of us had to go. She said OK, and completely understood and didn''t expect me to stay and wait on her. So I assumed that she was taking care of it that day. So I call her that night to see how it went....no answer, left a vm. I call the dress shop Monday morning and they confirm that she still hasn''t come in.
For the next week I call, and call, and call her and cannot get her to talk to me. I leave many messages and send several emails telling her how important it is that she take care of it, because the dress store will not order any of the BM''s dresses until each BM has been measured, paid the downpayment, and signed the contract. Through my messages I give her the deadline of the following Saturday to get it taken care of, if not than I would have the store process the order without her. One day she finally answers her cell when I call her from work, but she quickly gets off the phone before I can talk, saying she''ll call back. Never did. So Saturday comes and goes, I call the dress store and she still hasn''t come in. I email her telling her I processed the order without her and that I was very surprised and disappointed at how she handled the situation. Within and hour she responds saying how crazy her life has been with school and work, that he bf and her broke up and got back together, and her grandma died. She also said that she is taking it that I no longer want her in the wedding party. I respond telling her how sorry I am about everything that has been going on in her life and that I felt like she was avoiding me/the situation and wanted out but didn''t want to hurt my feelings. I also explain to her how I love her and how important she has been to me and that I WANT her to still be a part of the wedding, but she has to hold up her end of the deal. She responded saying how sorry she was for being a bad friend/BM, how she didn''t stop to look at how I was reading the situation and that she still wants to be a BM. She goes on to tell me she can''t go in the get measured but can email them her measurements/payment. I arrange for the dress shop to fax me her contract so I can email to her (she doesn''t have access to a fax machine) but they need her measurements/payment first. She tells me she will email them that night (this past Sunday). So Monday I call her, no answer and it becomes the same exact situation as the week before. I leave messages/email...nothing. Wednesday she did email and say she''s real busy with work and will email asap, and I haven''t heard from her since. I called/emailed yesterday and left messages telling her that today was the deadline if she didn''t handle her end that I was processing the order and we''d have to figure something else for her. Looks like I''ll be calling them in a hour to process the order without her, I can''t and won''t subject my other girls dresses coming in late.
{SIGH} I have gotten so tired of calling and calling and calling her. I feel like I''ve had to babysit her! How hard is it to call someone and say, hey I can''t do it today, or I can''t do it AT ALL. I am very very understanding that she''s going through a hard time right now, and I want to be here for her, but she won''t take my calls and I still have to make sure everything with the wedding goes smoothly. Thanks for letting me vent.
I have been having a MAJOR issue with getting one of my bridesmaids (I''ll call her BM J) to go get measured for her dress and make the downpayment. A little background. She was my middle school best friend. Our HS freshman year she moved to the outskirts, so we didn''t stay as close, but still kept contact. I will always consider her a close friend. Back in middle school she was the all American girl. Very innocent, dependable, polite etc. A "goody goody." Within the last year or so she changed, but we still remained friends. She was thrilled when I asked her to be a BM and has always been so sweet and offering help whenever I need it. About a month and a half ago I emailed all the BM''s about the dress and told them I needed them to go in by X date. Two weeks before X date I hadn''t heard that anyone went in, so I made an appointment for the deadline Saturday.
Rewind back to two weeks ago. I made a Saturday appointment where all 4 of my BM''s and I would go the the bridal store and have them see the dress, get measured, pay the downpayment, and sign the contract. ALL of my BM''s confirmed with me that they would make it. BM J calls me an hour or so before the appointment saying she had a flat tire, was getting it fixed and would be there as soon as she could. Meanwhile, I am with the other BM''s who came on time etc. We wait around a little, and around the time we are about to leave BM J calls, says her tire is fixed and she''s on her way. She apologizes and I explain to her that as longs as she takes care of in today (Sat.) or Sunday it''s OK. She reassures me that she will take care of if today (Sat.) and doesn''t want to be the "problem BM." I had other appointments that day and told her to come on, but that the rest of us had to go. She said OK, and completely understood and didn''t expect me to stay and wait on her. So I assumed that she was taking care of it that day. So I call her that night to see how it went....no answer, left a vm. I call the dress shop Monday morning and they confirm that she still hasn''t come in.
For the next week I call, and call, and call her and cannot get her to talk to me. I leave many messages and send several emails telling her how important it is that she take care of it, because the dress store will not order any of the BM''s dresses until each BM has been measured, paid the downpayment, and signed the contract. Through my messages I give her the deadline of the following Saturday to get it taken care of, if not than I would have the store process the order without her. One day she finally answers her cell when I call her from work, but she quickly gets off the phone before I can talk, saying she''ll call back. Never did. So Saturday comes and goes, I call the dress store and she still hasn''t come in. I email her telling her I processed the order without her and that I was very surprised and disappointed at how she handled the situation. Within and hour she responds saying how crazy her life has been with school and work, that he bf and her broke up and got back together, and her grandma died. She also said that she is taking it that I no longer want her in the wedding party. I respond telling her how sorry I am about everything that has been going on in her life and that I felt like she was avoiding me/the situation and wanted out but didn''t want to hurt my feelings. I also explain to her how I love her and how important she has been to me and that I WANT her to still be a part of the wedding, but she has to hold up her end of the deal. She responded saying how sorry she was for being a bad friend/BM, how she didn''t stop to look at how I was reading the situation and that she still wants to be a BM. She goes on to tell me she can''t go in the get measured but can email them her measurements/payment. I arrange for the dress shop to fax me her contract so I can email to her (she doesn''t have access to a fax machine) but they need her measurements/payment first. She tells me she will email them that night (this past Sunday). So Monday I call her, no answer and it becomes the same exact situation as the week before. I leave messages/email...nothing. Wednesday she did email and say she''s real busy with work and will email asap, and I haven''t heard from her since. I called/emailed yesterday and left messages telling her that today was the deadline if she didn''t handle her end that I was processing the order and we''d have to figure something else for her. Looks like I''ll be calling them in a hour to process the order without her, I can''t and won''t subject my other girls dresses coming in late.
{SIGH} I have gotten so tired of calling and calling and calling her. I feel like I''ve had to babysit her! How hard is it to call someone and say, hey I can''t do it today, or I can''t do it AT ALL. I am very very understanding that she''s going through a hard time right now, and I want to be here for her, but she won''t take my calls and I still have to make sure everything with the wedding goes smoothly. Thanks for letting me vent.
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