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BIW list clean-up. Please vote!

Rules for the BIW list

  • Members listed as ??/??/?? must post at least once in six months to remain on the list

    Votes: 7 58.3%
  • Members listed as ??/??/?? must post at least once in one year to remain on the list

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • All brides in waiting must must post at least once in six months to remain on the list (does not app

    Votes: 3 25.0%
  • All brides in waiting must must post at least once in one year to remain on the list (does not apply

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • All members on the list must post at least once in six months to remain on the list

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • All members on the list must post at least once in one year to remain on the list

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • No rules! We are free spirits here!

    Votes: 1 8.3%
  • Other (please explain in comments)

    Votes: 1 8.3%

  • Total voters
    12

blacksand

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2010
Messages
889
Hello ladies! audball and madelise have made some suggestions regarding cleaning up our Brides in Waiting List, and it became clear that we have a few members listed with a ??/??/?? date who have not been active on PS for over a year. We do not currently have any explicit rules for cleaning up the list, other than moving people up the list according to their dates, and removing alums after a year. Many posters ask to be added to the list, but then disappear, particularly in the ??/??/?? section. Since the ??/??/?? section never moves, some names tend to stay there for a very long time, even though they are no longer active on PS.

I don't want to dictate any new rules, so I am leaving it up to you ladies! If you'd like to see any of these rules implemented, please let me know by voting here. Thanks!
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
Great poll! Lots of choices!
 

blacksand

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2010
Messages
889
Thanks Stacy! I wanted to add a 3 month option, but my poll was really long as it was! Would you apply the 3 month rule to everyone, just the current brides in waiting, or just the ??/??/?? ladies?
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
I kind of agree. We're pretty hardcore over in LIW! Granted we have the rule there that if you have less than 500 posts (more of a newbie) you have to post once every 3 months but if you have more than 500 posts (more of a regular) you have to post once every 6 months.

Ultimately I don't think it matters -- it would just be nice to promote more activity on the boards. I will *hopefully* be joining this side fo the fence sooner than later and I'd love to actually have active posters to talk to!
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
Chewbacca|1352747794|3304504 said:
Hear hear to above comments!

Said the lurker from LIW. :lol:
Haha, sadly I think there are more LIWs following this forum than actual brides. I really wish we could revive this section! All of us active LIWs need to graduate!
 

Chewbacca

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2012
Messages
699
audball|1352747854|3304505 said:
Chewbacca|1352747794|3304504 said:
Hear hear to above comments!

Said the lurker from LIW. :lol:
Haha, sadly I think there are more LIWs following this forum than actual brides. I really wish we could revive this section! All of us active LIWs need to graduate!
It seems like there will be a few graduations before the year is out, fingers crossed! VIVA LA BWW! :lol:
 

blacksand

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2010
Messages
889
Yes, we need some new friends here. There are no weddings scheduled for November. It feels weird not counting down to anyone's wedding, or reading about anyone's plans. Hey BIWs, come and post! Tell us what you are working on! LIWs, come join us soon! Tell your SOs to hurry up already.
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
blacksand|1352755416|3304669 said:
Yes, we need some new friends here. There are no weddings scheduled for November. It feels weird not counting down to anyone's wedding, or reading about anyone's plans. Hey BIWs, come and post! Tell us what you are working on! LIWs, come join us soon! Tell your SOs to hurry up already.
Definitely! Everyone who knows Andrew...feel free to poke him along! ;-)
 

LJL

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 22, 2011
Messages
538
I put the 6 months option for everyone.. because 3 months wasnt an option...

This is gonna sound mean - but who the heck cares when your wedding is/was if youre never around and they dont know you! The whole point is to have an active group of women (and men) to chat with, no? I think that we had a fairly tight-knit group in LIW recently and so we really value recognizing everyone who comments - I mean, I know these ladies' stories just from their screenname, they know mine, and we're friends off the boards now (are we friends? :oops:)


Not sure if imposing reqts makes people more active in reality though.
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
That's true. It may not, but at least those around would be known and active. I love that when I sign on to LIW I know the ladies names on the list, their stories, and what's going in their lives (just like LJL said). And I would definitely say we're friends even off the boards! ;-)
 

blacksand

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2010
Messages
889
I guess I just don't see it as a big deal if people haven't posted in a while. I'm all for welcoming people back. I'm sure there have been times when I haven't posted for a month or so. Maybe even three months, who knows? Sometimes people are busy. I don't feel a need to be super strict in this, or really any community. I'm okay with lurkers who don't post, active posters who disappear for a while and then come back, whatever. We're just celebrating each other's weddings. I'm okay with celebrating with people I don't know well. I'm still happy for them. I do agree with keeping the list up to date, though, so I'm fine with any rules you ladies want to impose.

But I'm not voting. I want active BIWs and alums to vote! Majority rules, and there's no electoral college.

I'd like to add the three-month option, since it seems to be popular. But I don't know if I can edit the poll. I will see what I can do!

ETA: I'm fine with LIWs voting too, of course, I would just like to hear from some more BIWs, too!
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
I go back and forth. I guess the idea is to keep people active but having rules doesn't necessarily help that. When I brought it up, I only suggested having something about either being active or setting a date for the ?? people. If you've not set one and are active, who cares, that's great. But if you're inactive and haven't set one, there is no way for you to be chronologically removed so to speak.

I voted for the first option, those with ?? must post once every 6 months to stay. If you can't check in twice a year, you're not really around enough to care I'd think. Everyone else who has stated a date can stay on until they are made alumni by graduating/getting married. My 2 cents.
 

madelise

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
5,294
LOL! Is it true the LIWs cruise this side more than the actual BRIDES? We are crazy, aren't we :naughty:

I think those with ?? dates should at least post an update HERE, in the BWW side, just to say "hey, I'm still here, I'm still engaged, I just don't know my date yet.." at least once per 3 months. I am not liking the current LIW side with the 3 month/6 month rule, as many of them are stagnant on the LIW side, and NEVER update there, but are still on the list because every once in a while, they'll post "ooh pretty!" on someone's SMTB thread. I would favor a 3 month rule for EVERYONE, across the board, regardless of 10,000+ posts.. and even a 1 month rule for those who have less than 10 posts (to weed out those who come on, write one thing and disappear forever). And I guess it would be stern of me to say that those "minimum of one post per 3 months" should be at least done HERE, in the BWW side :confused: Is that too strict? But c'mon, how do we even know if you didn't just call it splitsville from your cold feet, and decide to never visit back here? There are a few currently on the LIW list, that are updating everywhere but on LIW, and I am actually super curious if they're even still with their SO's. Because it's just been THAT long.

I agree that these threads are meant to get a sense of community within the PS posters that are experiencing similar milestones, or are people who want to join in the fun from eagerness of the future, or from fondness in sharing their past experience. What's the point in having a list of strangers that just say "hey, put my name down too", and they never share who they are? I keep trying to post up interesting conversation topics in the LIW side to try to liven it up a bit, and still we have a short list with even shorter active posters. It's not that I don't want people on the list, it's that I want to know people. I hate tumbleweeds. It discourages new activity, and new people and lurkers from joining. :devil:

But you are in a difficult position, blacksand. You have a headache if you don't clean up, and you're mean if you do. Do whatever is best, that YOU think will help bring more activity here on the BWW side. I'll def be joining you guys here, when I'm officially planning. I am dying to share my ideas and photos with you!
 

blacksand

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2010
Messages
889
madelise said:
But you are in a difficult position, blacksand. You have a headache if you don't clean up, and you're mean if you do. Do whatever is best, that YOU think will help bring more activity here on the BWW side. I'll def be joining you guys here, when I'm officially planning. I am dying to share my ideas and photos with you!
Meh. Not really a headache for me. I'm not too worried about it. We vote, and I do what the majority wants. I'm not mean for doing what people want, either. It's all good either way. I have far more important things to stress about (with a wedding coming up in six weeks) then the level of exclusivity of an online community. I hear both sides of the discussion. I get that you want a sense of community, and you want to actually know who you are talking to. I can also relate to a desire to just let anyone post whatever they want, whenever they want. The person on pricescope who has literally influenced me the most has posted exactly 8 times. Those 8 posts contained two pictures of the e-ring and wedding band set I fell in love with and now call my own. I don't know much about you, badgerskunk, but I am forever grateful, even if you never come back! So if people post and disappear, I'm not really bothered. But I don't mind doing a little cleaning up if that is what the people want.

I remain firmly in the "whatever you ladies want" camp. That being said, let's vote, people! I want to hear from more of you!


ETA: that comment about having more important things to stress about came off more flippant than I wanted it to; I'm sorry! What I mean to say is that I will happily go with whatever you ladies choose.
 

gem_anemone

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 21, 2011
Messages
682
My opinion is that the list clean up rules are more important for the LIW section than the BWW section. LIW are sometimes on there for years or do not know when (if?) a proposal will occur. Wedding dates are set and usually not cancelled or postponed. BIW wedding dates come and go, so even if they don't post there's still going to be list movement. I agree that list movement cannot occur for ??/?? ladies, so it makes sense for them to be required to post in order to remain on the list. But for the ladies who have picked a date I see no need to force them to comment. My two cents :)
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
gem_anemone|1352899373|3306206 said:
My opinion is that the list clean up rules are more important for the LIW section than the BWW section. LIW are sometimes on there for years or do not know when (if?) a proposal will occur. Wedding dates are set and usually not cancelled or postponed. BIW wedding dates come and go, so even if they don't post there's still going to be list movement. I agree that list movement cannot occur for ??/?? ladies, so it makes sense for them to be required to post in order to remain on the list. But for the ladies who have picked a date I see no need to force them to comment. My two cents :)
This is the way I voted as well, the first option in the list. I only suggested "rule" in the first place to keep ?? from being on the list indefinitely. I'd like to think that more rules would make it more likely for people to post, but it's just not true. I'm good with the alums and the current BIW's with set dates to stay on until their dates come/go. I just think we should be mindful of the ?? so that some names don't stay on there for years and years.
 

madelise

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
5,294
audball|1352899543|3306210 said:
gem_anemone|1352899373|3306206 said:
My opinion is that the list clean up rules are more important for the LIW section than the BWW section. LIW are sometimes on there for years or do not know when (if?) a proposal will occur. Wedding dates are set and usually not cancelled or postponed. BIW wedding dates come and go, so even if they don't post there's still going to be list movement. I agree that list movement cannot occur for ??/?? ladies, so it makes sense for them to be required to post in order to remain on the list. But for the ladies who have picked a date I see no need to force them to comment. My two cents :)
This is the way I voted as well, the first option in the list. I only suggested "rule" in the first place to keep ?? from being on the list indefinitely. I'd like to think that more rules would make it more likely for people to post, but it's just not true. I'm good with the alums and the current BIW's with set dates to stay on until their dates come/go. I just think we should be mindful of the ?? so that some names don't stay on there for years and years.

Hm. Good perspective, this gets my vote.
 

blacksand

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2010
Messages
889
If it's okay with everyone, I'd like to make whatever changes are voted upon in my next list update on Monday. So whatever option has the most votes by Monday morning is what I'll go with to clean up the list. Sound good?

We can always make further changes later on if we deem it necessary. Thanks everyone for exercising your right to vote! We should make stickers for those who voted.
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
blacksand|1353005529|3307334 said:
If it's okay with everyone, I'd like to make whatever changes are voted upon in my next list update on Monday. So whatever option has the most votes by Monday morning is what I'll go with to clean up the list. Sound good?

We can always make further changes later on if we deem it necessary. Thanks everyone for exercising your right to vote! We should make stickers for those who voted.
Sounds good to me. Looks like most people are only in favor of regulating the ??. I think that's best. Makes it slightly less work for the listkeeper, who I'm sure has plenty else to worry about with planning their own wedding! And will accomplish the need to just keep completely inactive posters who aren't coming back from staying at the bottom indefinitely.

Oh, and I vote yes on changing alumni to alumnae ;-)
 

blacksand

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2010
Messages
889
Oh there is no voting on the alumni/alumnae distinction, lol! I already changed it. I'm an evil dictator (dictatrix?) and former Latin student. Muahahaha. :devil:
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
blacksand|1353207372|3309131 said:
Oh there is no voting on the alumni/alumnae distinction, lol! I already changed it. I'm an evil dictator (dictatrix?) and former Latin student. Muahahaha. :devil:
Hahahhah. Awesome.
 

manderz

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 8, 2010
Messages
1,539
blacksand|1352776966|3304970 said:
Majority rules, and there's no electoral college.
:lol: :lol: :lol:

I voted for the six month posting for those who are unsure of a date.
 
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