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anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
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7,074
FI and I are planning on starting booking in the next couple of months. I was going over the things we''d decided on and I really started to get some doubts about the wedding we were starting to plan... Some of you may know that my dream wedding was a small informal outdoors day, but as we started planning, our day fast became a big formal indoors thing. At first I was sort of "going with the flow", but when I stop to think about it, I''m not happy with it. I want some of it to be outside, I don''t really care for fancy tuxes and floor-length BM dresses, and our families are just so darn big we can''t invite friends. And then there''s the money issue of course... My parents will pay 50% of the wedding no matter the cost, but FI and I will have to pay for the other 50%... and we''re a young couple, just starting out and trying to save up for a house, I don''t really want to dish out 5000$ on one day...

I had a talk with my mother this morning. I told her this formal fall wedding thing was really starting to scare me, and we started talking about an alternative. What if we had our catholic church ceremony at 11AM followed by a cocktail/lunch at the golf course near the church (outside if the weather allows it), a kind of semi-formal event with only our close family (parents, siblings, grandparents and Godparents) and close friends (30 people tops)? We could have it in early August instead of late September, the men would wear suits and the girls light dresses, and voilà. Then my new hubby and I could have a mini-moon for the rest of the week-end at the countryside hotel we were thinking of having our reception at.

Of course, I am going to talk to my FH about this, but he''s in Edmonton until March so I have to schedule a "webcam date" this week...


Thoughts?

 

jas

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,991
Ugh. PS gremlins ate my first response.

Girl, I think it sounds GREAT! You seem calm and happy with this new plan. I have learned with my own wedding and life that whatever gives you the "inner calms" is what is the best choice.

It sounds great to me! Go for it! Especially, and again I can''t emphasize this enough, because you seem happy with it!!!
 

fisherofmengirly

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 14, 2006
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3,929
That sounds like a great idea, Anchor. The simpler, the better in the long run for anyone who''s really detail-oriented, which I think you most likely are (like most of us when it comes to something as big as this). I think the weddings that are the best are the ones that really catch the couple''s mood, you know? If Paul and I had had this big, fancy, elaborate wedding, we both would have been uncomfortable, and it could have had an impact on our joy that day, you know?

Semi-formal is the way most weddings are, anyway. I think it sounds like you have a fabulous idea to run by your fiance. (It also allows for you to be married just a tad sooner!!
)
 

RoseAngel04

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
865
I say go for it! This is your day and it should be the way you and your FI want it. And you''ll get to move the date up a month!
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
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7,074
Thanks girls! You all rock. Did you have (or are you having) a morning ceremony? I''d love to hear more about your day.
 

zoebartlett

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2006
Messages
12,450
Hi Anchor,

I can''t speak from experience of planning a wedding (not yet anyway) but what you suggested sounds perfect. So many of my friends have mentioned after the big day that their wedding planning got away from them and their weddings ended up being more formal (or more "whatever") than they wanted originally. I think that doing what feels right to you would be the best choice, by far.
 

fatafelice

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 26, 2004
Messages
1,756
Anchor, I think this sounds like a fantastic idea! In fact, I am a little sorry that I listen to my heart months ago and do something similar. Don''t get me wrong, I am really looking forward to my wedding, but once upon a time, I dreamed of a simpler, smaller, earlier wedding. I say go for it! Especially if it will make the day and the memories more enjoyable for you both!
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
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Messages
7,074
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support... Now I have to run this by FI! Keep your fingers crossed...
 

fisherofmengirly

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 14, 2006
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3,929
Seriously, morning weddings are GREAT! You wake up, get all girly and cute, get dressed, take a couple pictures, walk down the aisle, take the vows and before noon, you''re walking around with your *Husband!!!* thanking people for coming to your special day. I''m *S*O* glad we got married in the morning. What better way to start the day?


Additional pluses: it''s automatically less formal, therefore less expensive, and the reception is a bit lower-key, too. Both were excellent reasons for sticking to our guns about getting married early in the day!
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
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7,074
Fisher, your day sounds amazing! Can you tell me more about it, please? What was your day-of timeline, what kind of reception you had, etc.? I haven''t heard of a lot of people doing morning ceremonies and I''m not sure how it''s done.
 

RoseAngel04

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
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Messages
865
We're also having an early afternoon wedding starting at 11:00 AM. We will have a pretty traditional wedding timeline, just earlier. We still are having a formal ceremony and reception. We haven't set our menu yet, but like the idea of heavy h'orderves. I LOVE that our reception will end around 3:30 and we will have the rest of the day/night to spend celebrating each other.


The only con for me is that I will have to wake up at the crack of dawn for my hair and make-up appointments. It will be soooo worth it though!


ETA: Why is it showing the last post from anchor?? weird.
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
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So, FI and I talked yesterday evening. I didn''t want to just tell him I wasn''t happy with our plans, so I started off asking him if he was sure it was what he wanted and was ready to spend up to 5 000$ for it. He said he was, and then he told me to "spill it"...


I told him that he''d proposed wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, he''d taken me to the park, got down on one knee and proposed. No fancy restaurants or suits or elaborate plan, just... us. And it was perfect. It was us. And now we''re having a formal wedding with tuxes and floor-length dresses and a big sit-down dinner at the hotel? I don''t get it. He was a bit confused at first as to how else we could do it, but I explained my idea for a semi-formal morning wedding with the dinner or brunch buffet at the golf course, switching the tuxes for suits and having 30 people instead of 75-80.


He was very concerned about me not being happy with the wedding plans. He said it was more important that I be happy than to do what everyone expects. He really liked the morning wedding idea and agreed it was more us. He''d like to have more information about the venue and about the logistics of a 30-people reception, but if we work these out, I''m pretty sure it''s a go!


He also told me he talked to his mother and we will probably get around 1k from them. I didn''t expect it at all, so it''s nice to hear! Since FI really seems to want to have a party and dancing, and 30 people makes a pretty small party, I thought maybe we could still invite the 75 family members and a few more friends... A lunch/brunch buffet reception will certainly not cost us 5000$ like a sit-down dinner would, so we could have more friends there and have a party from 1-4 PM. We could have the more traditional aspects FI likes: cake, first dance, bouquet toss, etc.


I''m aiming at August 2nd 2008 and having pale blue, royal blue and yellow as my colours...


I''m much more happy about it now... Thanks everyone for your help. I''ll keep you posted!

 

Liquiddazi

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 25, 2006
Messages
159
Keep me updated! Your "new" plan is almost exactly what I wanted when I get married.
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
Thanks... It''s not 100% sure yet, I''m crossing my fingers that we''ll like the reception site and that it''ll work for us.
 

AmberWaves

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 19, 2005
Messages
3,672
Anchor, I''ve been "away", but I wanted to say that I''m glad you made the change- what''s the point of this big huge to-do if you''re not happy? We had many ideas of what we wanted (remember Memories?), but now we''re doing a wedding with 150 people (yikes) but it''s a morning thing. Ends by 4pm on a Saturday. Because it''s a November thing, and a morning thing, we get the big ballroom for the price of the small one. I think it all works out, and congrats on making it YOUR way.
 

indecisive

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2005
Messages
1,240
It sounds like a great idea! I hope the reception site is everything you want it to be!
 

akw94

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 10, 2006
Messages
1,937
Anchor, I''m so happy for you! It really sounds like the updated plan is going to make you happy. The day is about you and your soon to be hubby, not everyone else! I keep trying to tell people in my family that but they haven''t all caught on yet. I think that people who are there should appreciate what you want.
I''m glad you talked to your FI and made a change that will reflect the two of you.
I''m also planning an early day ceremony/reception. I''m thinking ceremony about 11:30 or 12:00, then reception to follow (it''s at the same location). The reception will be 3-4 hours. I''m not sure we will do dancing or not but I''m happy w/it.

Good luck w/all the planning!
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
Thank you AmberWaves, indecisive and dixie94!

If it works out and FI likes it, I''d be going with something like this...





Much lighter, sunnier and more "fun", don''t you think?
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
glad that you got to speak to your fi anchor! It sounds like you''re much happier with the second plan. It seems like a mch better idea
 

AmberWaves

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 19, 2005
Messages
3,672
Anchor, that all looks amazing! I saw do what makes you happy! And, those colors are very cheerful!
 

E B

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
9,488
I love the mock-up! Would you get the dress with the pale blue accent? I hope so. I think it all looks so sweet and like it could be very intimate.
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
bee - I am much happier! It''s so nice to be excited again instead of feeling panic when I think about the wedding! I''m hoping FI and I can have another talk tonight. It''d be nice if we could visit the gorlf course reception site during my Spring Break the first week of March.

Thanks AmberWaves! I can''t wait to see some of your wedding stuff.


Hey EBree! I was hoping you''d show up. Yes, I would get the dress in white/blue/platinum. It so beautiful and soft looking! I love how it all looks sweet now instead of formal.
 

labbielove

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 28, 2006
Messages
862
anchor,
i LOVE your ideas!!!
and that dress- in blue- is to die for,

the daisies are perfect-

congrats on speaking up for what you want, and it sounds like those that love you are being supportive as well.

 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
Thank you, labbielove, I love this new "feel" and colours so much I can''t believe I didn''t think of it before!

And... GOOD NEWS everyone! FI likes it and said yes!!
I will be calling to have an appointment to visit the golf club on March 6th. If all goes according to plan, our new date in August 2nd 2008! YAY!
 

akw94

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 10, 2006
Messages
1,937
Anchor, your combo of everything looks so pretty! I think the colors all go very nicely together. I really like your dress almost wish I was bold enough to have a little color in my dress.
Panic about the wedding is definitely not a good feeling so I''m glad you''re in a better place!!
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
Date: 2/8/2007 10:02:53 PM
Author: anchor31
Thank you, labbielove, I love this new ''feel'' and colours so much I can''t believe I didn''t think of it before!

And... GOOD NEWS everyone! FI likes it and said yes!!
I will be calling to have an appointment to visit the golf club on March 6th. If all goes according to plan, our new date in August 2nd 2008! YAY!
Thats great news!! That means its less than 18 months till you tie the knot!!
 
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