Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Big Breakup

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.

ringisthething

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Messages
26
Hi Ladies,
I have asked to be removed from the list and hoped I could vent a little here. I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years on Monday night. He was very happy with the realtionship just the way it was, and when I asked him if he was excited about having a future with me he said he was just scared. We went ring shopping in November, then we had a fight about that when he asked me not to talk about engagment for a while. Then we started talking about moving in together when he graduates this December (which has always been the plan) and he said he was unsure about that too. I couldn''t deal with it. I think i made the right decision but it is so hard. My heart is screaming at me to apologize for being stupid, and give him more time to sort his stuff out. I just don''t know how strong I am...
Sorry for the bummer note, but thanks for reading.
 

AllieGator

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
316
Ringisthething, I''m sorry you''re going through this...but you did the right thing. If you are ready to be committed, and he isn''t quite there yet, you can''t make him get there. Be strong, and best of luck!
 

Lauren8211

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
11,073
Don''t apologize to us. That''s what we''re here for.

I''m so sorry that happened, but I commend you for standing up for yourself and your needs. I can''t imagine how hard that must''ve been for you.

You know in your heart what is best. I don''t know how old you are, but 5 years is a long time to "still not be sure."

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

We are here for you.
 

BlueSki231

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 21, 2008
Messages
855
I am soooooooo sorry to hear this.. I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better


Like elle said.. 5 years IS a long time to still not be sure. You know you deserve someone who is totally 100% sure about you and your future together.

Hang in there I really wish you the best!
 

misskitty

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 20, 2008
Messages
1,691
I''m so sorry!

I just don''t know how strong I am...
I know you probably meant this in the opposite way, but you probably don''t realize how strong you ARE! Walking away from something you''ve put so much into is very difficult, but you were strong enough to take that step. Just remember: you deserve to be happy. You''ll make it through this tough time, I promise.
 

sammyj

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
1,247
awww ringisthething. I''m so sorry to hear about your breakup. I can''t agree more with the ladies who said that 5 years is a long time to not know whether or not a future is in the cards. There''s a difference between knowing and knowing when, and your BF sounds like he just isn''t ready and that he needs to figure himself out before he can figure out him&you.

*Big hugs* for being strong enough to step away from the relationship and put your needs first. That shows an immense amount of strength in itself.
 

msprincess

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 24, 2009
Messages
37
sending hugs your way.

You have to do what is best for you. You are a lot stronger than you think.
 

jcarlylew

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 27, 2008
Messages
3,899
hooney i am so sorry!!
It sounds like you made the right move for you though. Don''t beat yourself up if it was a bad move or not. If there is something for you two, you guys will work it out.

I am proud of you for being so strong!
 

ringisthething

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Messages
26
Thanks everyone for all of your kind words of encouragement! I really have built a lot around this relationship and this is going to be a long hard process, but I think I''m doing what''s best. I just have had my future pictured with him in it for so long it will be hard to see anything else.
 

IloveAsschers13

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
896
I bet in even a few months you will look back at things and be like "wow THAT really annoyed me about him, and i really disliked THIS about him..." and it will make you feel better.

Until then, feel free to keep posting on your thread about your situation, and I''m sure many of us will be here to make you feel better (virtually
) I hope you can feel like you did the right thing soon!!!
 

Still_Waiting

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 30, 2008
Messages
612
I''m so sorry you''re going through this! Vent to us as much as you need to. From what you''ve told us, it doesn''t sound like you made a mistake at all. Why stay with someone who STILL is unsure about your future after committing so much time to you? ***HUGS*** You did the right thing taking action for what you know you need!
 

nail_polish

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 4, 2009
Messages
169

You are SO strong.

From your story, I sincerely think you did the right thing.

Spending time with the wrong person doesn''t leave us open to finding the right one.

I have been through a similar situation and I look back now and realize that that was one of the best decisions of my life.

There is someone out there who will be AS excited as you (if not more!) and AS anxious as you (if not more!) to spend the rest of his life worshipping the ground you walk on as you do him :)

Soon, you will start to realize that the future you built in your mind with him wasn''t the future you wanted and you will meet that fabulous Mr. Right and realize
''THIS IS MY FUTURE''

It will be okay, and until then - we''re here!
 

trillionaire

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Messages
3,881
I''m so sorry about your break up, but I am so impressed that you are taking care of yourself and your needs. imagine if you had moved in together and he continued to be unsure and string you along. Maybe it is all for the best, or maybe it will be the kick in that pants that he needs to get his act together. Either way, fill you life and time with good friends and family. This too shall pass. And when you are ready, who knows who might be waiting for you in the near future...
 

ams0124

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 6, 2008
Messages
934
ringisthething I just wanted to share how sorry I am for you. I don''t usually comment on these kinds of posts because I know that there is not much I can say to help but your story struck a cord with me and is very similar to what I went through about 2 1/2 years ago...

I was with my ex for almost 6 years when we broke up...We had just moved in together 4 months prior (something we should have never done but thought it would "fix" things) I pretty much forced him to move in with me...b/c lets face it after 5 1/2 years somethings got to give right? I was sooo wrong. He never really had any intention on proposing anytime within my timeframe but bascially didn''t want me to leave. Moving out of our place was one of the hardest things I''ve ever done (be thankful you don''t live with your guy). I was pretty much heart broken because I had convinced myself that I could make him want to marry me and want to commit to me and the realization of that not happening was really really tough...but you know that. I started dating FI about 5 months after (at the urging of my mom to get out of the house)...We fell in love quickly and more deeply then I had ever thought possible...It feels amazing to be committed to someone who is just as committed to me.

I tell you all this because I want you to know you did the right thing...You deserve to be with someone who is just as committed as you are and wants the same things out of life that you do...Please know that those things will come with the right person.

Take care of yourself first and the rest will fall into place (((HUGS)))
 

Winks_Elf

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Messages
1,675
(((BIG HUG!)))

I know you''ve been together for what seems forever, but you started dating at 20 years old. You''re both 25. Women at 25 know what path they want to take. Boys at 25 are still boys, and want to see what they can do on their own. Bottom line is he''s not ready, you are, not good.

Be strong, turn to us for venting, and you will get through this. It''s going to hurt for a while, but the pain does dull, and you will move ahead.
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
All I have to offer are many many hugs.

((HUGS))


Date: 2/25/2009 1:07:50 PM
Author: Winks_Elf
(((BIG HUG!)))

I know you''ve been together for what seems forever, but you started dating at 20 years old. You''re both 25. Women at 25 know what path they want to take. Boys at 25 are still boys, and want to see what they can do on their own. Bottom line is he''s not ready, you are, not good.

Be strong, turn to us for venting, and you will get through this. It''s going to hurt for a while, but the pain does dull, and you will move ahead.
 

ringisthething

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Messages
26
It''s really hard not to call and tell him I made a mistake, but deep down I know I didn''t. That would be the ''quick fix'' and this situation has been going on too long for a quick fix. We talked the issue to death and bottom line is I can''t (and don''t want to) MAKE him propose to me/be excited about a future with me. I do have some important stuff of his so we will eventually have to work all that out being in different cities and all. Now I just have to keep up enough will power to not call/text/email for a while (though i will admit I have already tried to call once.)
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
I''m sorry you''re going through this, but I think you did the right thing. It really sucks do have to go through...
 

xoxo

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
185
ringisthething so sorry to hear this (((big hugs))) to you. Vent as much as you want this will surely help and hang in there.
 

Definitely. Maybe

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 12, 2009
Messages
582
I am so incredibly sorry that you are going through this. I know it''s rough right now, but you ARE strong and will pull through this. Anytime you feel like you want to call him just message here and we''ll be here for you. :)
 

Smurfysmiles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
3,938
I''m sorry you''re going through such a crappy time right now *hugs*
I went through a similar situation back in april. I have all kinds of threads up about it chronicling from the break up to getting my own place to eventually finding my fi. Maybe it might help to check it out? You''re very strong and I''m proud of you for doing the right thing :) to quote disney, someday your prince will come :)
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
I''m sorry to hear that. It definitely sounds like you did the right thing for yourself though. Stay strong and sending hugs.
 

LtlFirecracker

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
4,837
I am sorry to hear you are going through this, but I think you did the right thing. It is hard now, but things will get better over the next few months.
 

choro72

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
Messages
1,867
You''re so strong...You were ready to get married, he wasn''t. Period. Not many ladies have the strength to face that fact (myself included), and I commend you. Vent away, cry, be mad, but remember that you did the right thing!
 

Italiahaircolor

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
5,184
Oh Ring I am very sorry to hear this break up news...but I am so incredibly proud of you for realizing that your wants are equally important and shouldn''t be pushed aside.

Breakup''s are never easy...but with each day comes new levels of healing...

Stay strong, stay positive.

((big hugs and support))
 

SailorsSweet<3

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 10, 2008
Messages
723
Stay strong!! In the end you''ll be much happier that you didnt call/text/email him when youre in this vulnerable state. You deserve to have everything you want in a relationship - just remember that!
 

ckrickett

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 26, 2008
Messages
5,348
HUG!

I think you did the right thing by sticking to your guns, that is the HARDEST thing but down the road no matter what happens or who you''re with you will be happy you did.
And you are strong!
 

Blackpaw

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
2,469
*HUGS* hope you feel better soon, take care of yourself for now...take up something you''ve always wanted to try, do something you always loved but havent had time to do....just something for yourself. If you dont want the same things after so long then its time to think about yourself and what you need...

sorry for the rant, hugs again!
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Be a part of the community It's free, join today!
    November’s Jewels Of The Weeks
    November’s Jewels Of The Weeks
    Upgrade to Five-Stone
    Upgrade to Five-Stone
    Elizabeth Taylor's Diamond Heart
    Elizabeth Taylor's Diamond Heart

Need Something Special?

Get a quote from multiple trusted and vetted jewelers.

Holloway Cut Advisor



Diamond Eye Candy

Click to view full-size image.
Top