Being the Jones''...

[anchor31]

Date: 6/13/2006 3:40:27 PM
Author: monarch64
My DH has taken to not answering his cellphone or our home phone when he doesn''t feel like talking to ''C'' every single day, but the worst thing is I have answered the phone a couple of times and ''C'' has said, ''Is M home? I drove past your house and saw his car, but he''s not answering his phone.''

Now I''m sorry, but THAT is freaky! Once was strange, but it''s happened two more times, and it really is creepy now...even though they live only 2.5 blocks away, he''s driving past specifically to see whose car is in the garage!

Ugh. My BF has a friend like that... He lives about two blocks from his, everything J buys, he buys and he calls him everyday, which is more often than I do myself! He''d even call me if he couldn''t reach J on his phone...

Since J and I are an hour apart, his friend sees him more often that I do, and he used to be there all the time when I visited J, and that drove me INSANE!! I had to put my foot down and tell J that I''d like to spend some time alone with him every once in a while, ya know? So J has been trying to distance himself from that friend. It''s sad, but our relationship was starting to suffer... So, the only advice I can offer is what''s been said before... Be honest and straightforward with them. This kind of situation is really uncomfortable!

 

[monarch64]

Thanks everyone for your advice. I'm still pretty torn about the whole thing, but at least I know I'm not crazy now!

I really don't see us just "terminating" this relationship--they are part of a circle of other couples we know and we all get together from time to time. Like I said before, since neither of us have children yet, it is us who gets the brunt of their neediness/clinginess.

I don't think my DH will ever have a frank conversation with C. They say people stay in bad relationships because they are still getting something out of it. I don't mean to say anything negative about my DH, but part of me thinks that part of him is getting a huge ego boost out of this, and also that he is just a softie deep down and really doesn't want C's feelings to be hurt. It's just a weird situation that keeps getting weirder, but one day my DH will come to a point where he will have to decide for himself whether he wants to cut things off or not. I can't tell him who to be friends with, but I can sure as heck find subtle ways to influence him.

I've decided the next time C pulls one of his drive-by things, I'm just going to tell him when I answer the phone what I think of that kind of behavior--that my husband isn't taking calls right now and I would appreciate it if he would refrain from stalking him.

ETA: I think DancingFire is right--we'll be long gone in a couple of years and they'll still be paying interest.

 

[blodthecat]

I think i would have to distance myself from them a little bit.....I would find this absolutely suffocating!

Friendships are great, as long as you don't feel like you are joined at the hip!

Blod

Hay...Why not tell them that you're pregnant and it's triplets

Let them try and beat that

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 6/13/2006 3:51:07 PM
Author: aljdewey
I''m sure this will surprise just so many of you....

, but I really am a firm believer in the direct approach. Nice, but direct. As I see it, there''s nothing really to be lost. There''s no point in worrying about alienating them, because they are already alienating you with their behavior. This either has to stop, or the friendship won''t be sustainable.

When asked about how much a purchase costs, I''d respond by either saying ''I''m not comfortable discussing the financial aspects of my purchase - I really consider that fairly personal information.'' or alternately asking ''why do you want to know?''

I''d also have a frank conversation that says ''look, I cannot tell you what you can or can''t buy. You''re free to buy what you wish. I will tell you, though, that it makes us fairly uncomfortable to have every purchase we make replicated. We are flattered that you trust our purchasing judgment so much, but it''s gotten beyond the point of flattery now, and you may not be aware of it. It''s not that we don''t like you or want you to have what you want, but having EVERYTHING the same is kind of awkward.....sort of like two gals wearing the same dress to the prom, if you know what I''m saying.''

Regarding your discomfort (you and DH) about their spending habits and whether or not they are over their heads.....that''s really not your business (I mean this in the nicest way), and having it worry you muddies the waters. You can''t say on the one hand ''we don''t want to be parent figures'' and then on the other hand say ''We feel they are getting in over their heads'' ....as a parent would do.

They are adults; it''s up to them to determine how they want to conduct their financial affairs. If they weren''t trying to keep up with you, it would be someone else.

Sorry - hope it improves. Tough situation to be in, but I don''t see it getting any better unless someone is willing to gently have the ''awkward conversation''.

I ditto Aljd too. This has gone beyond a joke, and this man obviously has issues. He needs to realize he is an adult, life is not a competition and not to be scared to make a mistake occasionally. I am so sorry Monnie you have to go through this, but enough is enough. It would creep me out too.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 6/13/2006 3:40:27 PM
Author: monarch64

We would both love to take a friend break, but we''ve tried that. I was actually confronted by the wife, who asked me ''are you mad at me?'' I hadn''t accepted a couple of invitations from her to go out at night! I felt like I was in 5th grade again.

My DH has taken to not answering his cellphone or our home phone when he doesn''t feel like talking to ''C'' every single day, but the worst thing is I have answered the phone a couple of times and ''C'' has said, ''Is M home? I drove past your house and saw his car, but he''s not answering his phone.''

Okay, I hadn''t seen this when I posted. Wow.

I actually have to commend the wife for asking if you were mad. Too often, people get irritated with each other and no one has the nerve to broach the topic, and friendships suffer for it.

Having said that, I think it''s totally appropriate to say "no, I''m not mad at you. I just really needed some down time/time for myself. I value my time with friends, but I also value having time to myself to spend quietly at home."

On the "C" issue, I''d be considerably more direct. "Yes, that''s right, M *isn''t* answering his phone. Because he doesn''t want to talk to anyone right now; he''s just home from work and relaxing (or he''s busy with something else and didn''t wish to interrupt that to answer the phone.) We enjoy our friendships, but we also strongly value our alone time, too. It''s important to us to make time to spend together as a couple and to each spend pursuing our individual hobbies, too. We expect that all our friends will understand that. It''s nice to have friends close by, but we still need our alone time. All you need to do is leave a message, and he will return your call when it''s convenient as we do with everyone else."

 

[monarch64]

Date: 6/14/2006 11:50:33 AM
Author: aljdewey

Date: 6/13/2006 3:40:27 PM
Author: monarch64

We would both love to take a friend break, but we''ve tried that. I was actually confronted by the wife, who asked me ''are you mad at me?'' I hadn''t accepted a couple of invitations from her to go out at night! I felt like I was in 5th grade again.

My DH has taken to not answering his cellphone or our home phone when he doesn''t feel like talking to ''C'' every single day, but the worst thing is I have answered the phone a couple of times and ''C'' has said, ''Is M home? I drove past your house and saw his car, but he''s not answering his phone.''

Okay, I hadn''t seen this when I posted. Wow.

I actually have to commend the wife for asking if you were mad. Too often, people get irritated with each other and no one has the nerve to broach the topic, and friendships suffer for it.

Having said that, I think it''s totally appropriate to say ''no, I''m not mad at you. I just really needed some down time/time for myself. I value my time with friends, but I also value having time to myself to spend quietly at home.''

On the ''C'' issue, I''d be considerably more direct. ''Yes, that''s right, M *isn''t* answering his phone. Because he doesn''t want to talk to anyone right now; he''s just home from work and relaxing (or he''s busy with something else and didn''t wish to interrupt that to answer the phone.) We enjoy our friendships, but we also strongly value our alone time, too. It''s important to us to make time to spend together as a couple and to each spend pursuing our individual hobbies, too. We expect that all our friends will understand that. It''s nice to have friends close by, but we still need our alone time. All you need to do is leave a message, and he will return your call when it''s convenient as we do with everyone else.''

Alj, I do agree that it''s best for people to approach each other when there is an issue, and I have no problem with that. However, in this particular instance I felt "pushed" by her...the two previous times I had not accepted an invitation to go someplace with her, I had explained to her that I was either spending time with DH, or that I had something going on early a.m. the next day and needed to stay home and rest. IMO, there shouldn''t have been a reason for her to question whether I was "mad" at her...I gave her valid reasons as to why I wasn''t available and she took it personally instead. I''m sure she must''ve gotten the sense from me that I WAS trying to distance myself, because in all honesty I was. I didn''t just make up those reasons I gave her, but if I had really wanted to spend time with her I would''ve made time. When she asked me if I was mad at her, I did apologize for making her feel bad, but re-stated that I was busy and was trying to spend more time with DH rather than socializing on weekends. (I was also training for a marathon, which she knew about.) I guess if the situation were reversed, I would''ve sensed that someone was backing away a bit from me and I wouldn''t have wanted to cause further damage by forcing any more conversations about what seemed to be an open-and-shut case. However, I know she''s not a mind reader and I don''t expect that. I feel like she didn''t pay attention in the first place to my needs and then took it personally, confronted me, and sort of put me on the defensive. I guess somehow I wasn''t perfectly clear with her, and the next time I don''t feel like going out with her I will be as clear as I possibly can.

Communication, is of course, what it all comes down to, with both of them. DH and I really just need to buck up and be more assertive and the four of us need to stop worrying so much about offending each other and focus on the things that actually matter in life...I''m really hoping that the four of us can get together and air things out soon.

 

[FireGoddess]

Date: 6/14/2006 12:41:55 PM
Author: monarch64
...I''m really hoping that the four of us can get together and air things out soon.

I hope so too, cuz it is clearly stressing you and your DH out and life''s too short to have stress inflicted on us by ''friends!!''

They may be insulted by what you guys say to them, but in all honesty I feel that outcome is favorable to what''s going on now. They''re just a little too out of control for the friendship to thrive, or even survive, the way things are now.

 

[Kaleigh]

Makes me wonder how these two can ever survive on their own. Guess they''ll have to figure things out for themselves, hehe.

 

[diamondfan]

Mon, I think one should not owe an explanation to anyone beyond the "I am not free, but thanks! Maybe another time?" type of response, but just because we say the right stuff does not mean the subtext is not clear. Maybe this couple has been down this road before...people suddenly being "busy" or "occupied" and drifting away from the togetherness of the past....I mean, anyone who drives by your house and then confronts you for not answering when YOUR CAR IS THERE is beyond clingy and possessive. Are there no circumstances in which someone might be in the house but might not answer? Maybe they are with their s.o. in a romantic way? Maybe they are sleeping or showering or entertaining company or putting a baby to bed? Honestly, that would creep me out. How odd that they would actually ask WHY you or you guy are not answering! Duh, we were busy or he was busy...simple and true. I would almost bet that this is not the first time that this couple has pushed another couple away, and it is a matter of time before it comes to a head. People who are so competetive and are always "one upping" you cannot possibly remain true friends, so I think things will hopefully calm down with time...GOOD LUCK! And be nice, but less available, and hopefully she will get the hint...

 

[monarch64]

Date: 6/14/2006 10:50:49 PM
Author: diamondfan
Mon, I think one should not owe an explanation to anyone beyond the ''I am not free, but thanks! Maybe another time?'' type of response, but just because we say the right stuff does not mean the subtext is not clear. Maybe this couple has been down this road before...people suddenly being ''busy'' or ''occupied'' and drifting away from the togetherness of the past....I mean, anyone who drives by your house and then confronts you for not answering when YOUR CAR IS THERE is beyond clingy and possessive. Are there no circumstances in which someone might be in the house but might not answer? Maybe they are with their s.o. in a romantic way? Maybe they are sleeping or showering or entertaining company or putting a baby to bed? Honestly, that would creep me out. How odd that they would actually ask WHY you or you guy are not answering! Duh, we were busy or he was busy...simple and true. I would almost bet that this is not the first time that this couple has pushed another couple away, and it is a matter of time before it comes to a head. People who are so competetive and are always ''one upping'' you cannot possibly remain true friends, so I think things will hopefully calm down with time...GOOD LUCK! And be nice, but less available, and hopefully she will get the hint...

Hee hee, diamondfan, I KNOW! Like what if we had been having "marital relations" for pete''s sake?! And we don''t want to share that as an excuse? The whole thing seriously has us at our wit''s end... but there have been many times where we''ve both thought, "we really do enjoy spending time with these people and having them for neighbors." It''s one of those situations where we are just torn between being firm and basically letting them control us, so to speak.

 

[diamondfan]

Date: 6/15/2006 12:12:47 AM
Author: monarch64

Date: 6/14/2006 10:50:49 PM
Author: diamondfan
Mon, I think one should not owe an explanation to anyone beyond the ''I am not free, but thanks! Maybe another time?'' type of response, but just because we say the right stuff does not mean the subtext is not clear. Maybe this couple has been down this road before...people suddenly being ''busy'' or ''occupied'' and drifting away from the togetherness of the past....I mean, anyone who drives by your house and then confronts you for not answering when YOUR CAR IS THERE is beyond clingy and possessive. Are there no circumstances in which someone might be in the house but might not answer? Maybe they are with their s.o. in a romantic way? Maybe they are sleeping or showering or entertaining company or putting a baby to bed? Honestly, that would creep me out. How odd that they would actually ask WHY you or you guy are not answering! Duh, we were busy or he was busy...simple and true. I would almost bet that this is not the first time that this couple has pushed another couple away, and it is a matter of time before it comes to a head. People who are so competetive and are always ''one upping'' you cannot possibly remain true friends, so I think things will hopefully calm down with time...GOOD LUCK! And be nice, but less available, and hopefully she will get the hint...

Hee hee, diamondfan, I KNOW! Like what if we had been having ''marital relations'' for pete''s sake?! And we don''t want to share that as an excuse? The whole thing seriously has us at our wit''s end... but there have been many times where we''ve both thought, ''we really do enjoy spending time with these people and having them for neighbors.'' It''s one of those situations where we are just torn between being firm and basically letting them control us, so to speak.

What about being totally blunt? "We did not answer because we were doing the horizontal mambo, but thanks for stopping by" maybe just answer the door in your robes?! Or you could say, "We are thinking of getting a new "blank"...why don''t we tell you what we are getting so you can go get one too?" Just kidding, but maybe it would honestly just put it out there and show how silly they are being. I would never tell them what you plan to name any kids you might have, though...remember the episode of Sex in the City where Charlotte was devasted because her "friend" who was having a girl was using the name that Charlotte had chosen and embroidered on a pillow in her hope chest?! Now THAT would really bug me and be a HUGE problem...

 

[monarch64]

Unfortunately, as far as we''ve been pushed at this time, our attitude is that if we actually shared with them that we WERE doing the "horizontal mambo" that "C" would call back the very next day to brag about the very same thing!

To let everyone know: this is a couple who my DH met through his own circle of friends. Meaning, I was not in the picture when "C" and my DH met, but "C" wasn''t in the picture when DH and all his buddies (who are in our circle) met. Follow me so far? Therefore, we find it very difficult to terminate a friendship with them because it is so enmeshed within the same circle we follow. Fortunately we have other outlets--DH has many other friends through his work, and I have cultivated my own through volunteer-work, my career, etc. (This couple we''re having problems with isn''t so fortunate-- they mainly associate with us, and the other members of our original circle.)

It''s getting late for me and I can''t think without being emotional about it any longer...you know, when I get super tired I am more of an "emotional" thinker and I tend to not be very fair about these things, so I''m going to have to let this topic go for now. I started a couple more thoughts, but when I re-read them I felt like they were things I would say when I wasn''t feeling so great so I will close for now and stick to less personal topics here on PS! Be back tomorrow with fresh thoughts, though! Thank you all so much for you help and advice!!!

 

[Small]

That''s a bit extreme to say the least. I''ve gone through something similar but not to that extent...wow...it''s creepy.

We have friends and its really the wife more than anything that will do similar things as what you are describing. When I got pregnant the with my daughter she decided they needed to start trying. It took them alot longer so my daughter was born before she said she was pregnant. When I found out I was pregnant with my son while she was at the end of her pregnancy she was talking about having the second child before the first was even born yet

And then kept talking about it after my son was born but her husband has put his foot down on that one. When we found out about baby #2 we decided a new house was in order. We needed more space. So we built a new house. I told my husband before they came to see the new house that once she saw it they''d be looking. Sure enough the next time she came over she told me they were looking (not in the same area thank god LOL). They ended up building a new house shortly thereafter. I talked about getting a patio for our house...they got one too. I spoke about a fence...she got a fence. I said I was going to start taking classes again to become a nurse and all of the sudden she''s taking classes in the same semester last time...it''s truly a laugh a minute LOL! Then the kicker LMAO...I told her we really needed a minivan because both kids in our Jeep make it difficult to take any other passengers so when my husband talked to his friend they had just been out looking at minivans...incredible! She is definitely a ''keep up with the Jones'' type and it irks me. I can''t quite understand the need to be exactly like or to financially make decisions based on what someone else is doing. It''s just crazy!

I wish I had some good advice but I don''t. I just stop telling them what we are thinking about because they end up doing the same. It''s annoying and we rarely see these friends much anymore anyway so I don''t have to deal with it. People are strange...I can''t quite comprehend why someone doesn''t want to make decisions on their own but I guess maybe it makes them happy if they can be like others...who knows!

 

[partgypsy]

I had a similar thing happen, but not to the extent of Monarch! When we bought a relatively new minivan we got alot of ribbing from our artistic friends about getting one, which we expected. However our neighbors who are lawyers and live in a big new house acted oddly about the whole thing. They have a subaru type vehicle. The wife approached me and said you got a minivan? when did you get it, what type is is, and going on how her daughter wants them to get a minivan(who is 2 1/2?). Then they were at the restaurant were my husband works and the husband goes up to my husband saying "I didn''t know COOL guys drove minivans", going on and on about the minivan. These are people that are normally standoffish. But it''s not that they want to emulate us, it''s weird, more the feeling they are bothered that us poor bohemian creatures got the type of vehicle they wanted before they did, like we didn''t know our place. However what could explain all this we just found out the wife is expecting (about 3,4 months after I am due).

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 6/15/2006 12:34:24 PM
Author: part gypsy
more the feeling they are bothered that us poor bohemian creatures got the type of vehicle they wanted before they did, like we didn''t know our place.

I couldn''t let this go unchallenged

-- devil''s advocate: maybe they just genuinely DO think you guys are "Cool" & their impression of mini-vans is changing due to their growing family ...

It''s always funny how people think of each other -- you might see them as "snooty" and they might see you guys as "arty/cool" ... each envying the other.... not "looking down on" at all. Just a thought!

 

[lizz]

This whole discussion is reminding me of Silence of the Lambs where Hannibal Lector says, "We covet what we see every day."

Isn''t that the truth, though? I guess we all do it to some extent. I notice that when my parents visit or when my family all gets together that we end up giving each other recommendations about certain items, and then we go buy them. That''s just normal, I guess. You see something that you think is useful and want it.

The thing that''s out of place here, though, is that this couple doesn''t have any boundaries. It''s also difficult because this neighbor is your husband''s friend, and you and your husband should be in agreement about the boundaries you want to create with the couple.

 

[partgypsy]

Deco, that is a nice thought. Even if we don''t try to, it is easy to have assumptions about other people, and probably my husband and I do too, even if unconsciously. Many of the people on our block make much more money than we do but with one or two exceptions are very nice people and am glad to have them as neighbors. The big bonding thing for our block right now is a family of owls that live on our block, so people gather in the alleyway at dusk for owl sightings and we hang out and talk.

Regarding Monarch''s problem, don''t really have a good solution other than thinking it is the other people''s (esp man''s) problem than theirs. However, talking to them about retirement planning might be a subtle way to letting them know financial success is more than just the pretty things one owns. Recently read the book "not buying it" a journal of this women who does not buy any nonessentials for a year. It''s both enjoyable and informative to read, some of it a meditation on our emotional relationship with money and also the objects we buy with our money.

 

[monarch64]

OK, so I''ve cooled down a bit since I first posted and was ready to tear my hair right out of my head...

After reading back through this thread again, I have been able to think about the issue from some different perspectives, thanks to all of your comments. I think that first of all, my DH and I are partly responsible for letting things get so out of hand...we did have a "boundary" discussion with C & S when they first moved into their house right after we did. We all agreed that we were going to enjoy being neighbors, but promised that we would always call each other first before visiting, in other words, we wouldn''t just "pop over" uninvited. Unfortunately, my DH and I didn''t realize that the calls would become incessant and basically disruptive. That is also partly our fault for not being firm with them the first time it bothered us, and now things have obviously snowballed and we are faced with a far more awkward situation than it could''ve been if we had just had more backbone in the beginning.

I do agree that DH and I definitely need to face the issue as a team, and let this other couple know that our marriage to each other and our own friendship is our first priority, over our friendships with each of them. I don''t think the whole "keeping up with the Jones''" thing is the kind of thing we will be able to approach directly with them, as it isn''t like we can tell them what not to buy (as in "we already have this, you CAN''T buy the same thing!), but I think I will definitely say something to let them know I''m not real happy about being their guinea pig! I was thinking of just making a somewhat snarky comment the next time C starts grilling us about a purchase---maybe, "why, are you going to get one of those now also?"

Either he will get the point, or it will open up the topic for discussion.

Oh!!! How could I have left THIS out--another fun story of "copycat-itis:" When we moved into our house, I decorated our bedroom with a very airy, beachy theme. I love tropical vacations, am originally from FL, and am a huge Jimmy Buffett fan. As soon as C & S moved into their house, she came over to investigate what I had done and guess what? The next week her guest bedroom was painted the same color, beach-themed and all.

Anyway, I guess it all breaks down to us needing to let them know there is an issue and hopefully we can resolve it and go back to living our lives!!!

 

[diamondfan]

Monarch, I think you do have a great attitude...but to me there is a fine line between flattering and dowright suffocating and they seemingly have crossed it! To me, if I admire or love something a friend has, I might ask if she minds if I get it too. If it is something pretty common, in the magazines or something most people have access to, I do not feel I am infringing too much. But copying someone''s bedroom? Pretty over the top, to me. And it is not like she used a similar color, she used THE SAME ONE. It just crosses the line. I would never copy something special, like a custom design on a ring or something of that nature...I do feel it is more fair game if there is a top in a magazine that you both read and you both admired it and got it...but some things are just going too far!

 

[monarch64]

Date: 6/16/2006 12:45:43 AM
Author: diamondfan
Monarch, I think you do have a great attitude...but to me there is a fine line between flattering and dowright suffocating and they seemingly have crossed it! To me, if I admire or love something a friend has, I might ask if she minds if I get it too. If it is something pretty common, in the magazines or something most people have access to, I do not feel I am infringing too much. But copying someone''s bedroom? Pretty over the top, to me. And it is not like she used a similar color, she used THE SAME ONE. It just crosses the line. I would never copy something special, like a custom design on a ring or something of that nature...I do feel it is more fair game if there is a top in a magazine that you both read and you both admired it and got it...but some things are just going too far!

I know, and I agree diamondfan...that was just an example of the many things they''ve done that has crossed the line between fun/friends who have similar interests and creepy. And I''m like you, I purposely avoid getting the same thing someone else has even though I may admire it. But apparently there are people out there who just don''t think that way, and this couple is on that side of the issue. I wish, wish, wish, that they would follow our lead towards being "original" and look for ways to be "themselves," but I feel like the only real solution to this problem is at first being direct with them when it happens again, and then to proceed with our plans of leaving this particular neighborhood (which we had planned to do from the get-go anyway) and hopefully they will not be able to find the means to follow.

DH and I have been looking at houses which we know are not in their price range, and most likely never will be...we''ve been fortunate enough that my DH has a job in which he has a bright future and we will be able to continue to be "upwardly mobile," whereas C and S are both in positions with certain limitations, if you will? That being said, I think DF put it most eloquently (

) when he stated above (to paraphrase that they will be stuck here and we won''t.

 

[diamondfan]

Maybe moving will create some real distance and will help cool things down. I cannot imagine that they are just so clueless and unaware of how it comes off? Could that be true? But, maybe there is a way to gently steer them away from your things...if they make noises in front of you about getting the same thing...I am sure they love your taste and respect your decisions, but they need to stand on their own two feet!

 

[monarch64]

Date: 6/16/2006 1:14:58 AM
Author: diamondfan
Maybe moving will create some real distance and will help cool things down. I cannot imagine that they are just so clueless and unaware of how it comes off? Could that be true? But, maybe there is a way to gently steer them away from your things...if they make noises in front of you about getting the same thing...I am sure they love your taste and respect your decisions, but they need to stand on their own two feet!

God I hope you''re right, lol!

 

[Madam Bijoux]

This is a bit off the wall, but if there is a subject that doesn''t interest them and bores them out of their minds, maybe you and your husband could only talk about that subject when you''re around them. They''ll soon get bored enough to find other pursuits.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 6/16/2006 8:57:39 AM
Author: Madam Bijoux
This is a bit off the wall, but if there is a subject that doesn''t interest them and bores them out of their minds, maybe you and your husband could only talk about that subject when you''re around them. They''ll soon get bored enough to find other pursuits.

Actually, I think we could talk about retirement planning, the stock market, etc. and kill two birds with one stone--they would be bored out of their minds but at the same time maybe our enthusiasm on the subject would rub off on them a bit. I''ll definitely present that idea to DH as part of the solution--thanks!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 6/16/2006 10:24:25 AM
Author: monarch64

Date: 6/16/2006 8:57:39 AM
Author: Madam Bijoux
This is a bit off the wall, but if there is a subject that doesn''t interest them and bores them out of their minds, maybe you and your husband could only talk about that subject when you''re around them. They''ll soon get bored enough to find other pursuits.

Actually, I think we could talk about retirement planning, the stock market, etc. and kill two birds with one stone--they would be bored out of their minds but at the same time maybe our enthusiasm on the subject would rub off on them a bit. I''ll definitely present that idea to DH as part of the solution--thanks!

LOL....i told my wife there will be no retirement for her,if the stock market keep on going down like the pass 2 weeks.

 

[blueroses]

Date: 6/16/2006 10:24:25 AM
Author: monarch64

Date: 6/16/2006 8:57:39 AM
Author: Madam Bijoux
This is a bit off the wall, but if there is a subject that doesn''t interest them and bores them out of their minds, maybe you and your husband could only talk about that subject when you''re around them. They''ll soon get bored enough to find other pursuits.

Actually, I think we could talk about retirement planning, the stock market, etc. and kill two birds with one stone--they would be bored out of their minds but at the same time maybe our enthusiasm on the subject would rub off on them a bit. I''ll definitely present that idea to DH as part of the solution--thanks!

This is a great idea!