Be Careful What You Post on the Colored Stone Forum

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

Yesterday I purchased and paid for a red spinel on the other forum. The seller said she would mail it today. After reading my thread on "Where did all the red spinels go?" the seller changed her mind. She told me she read the thread and decided not to sell. I was issued a refund and the seller did not understand why I was upset. Perhaps I am just sensitive, but I thought when you paid for something is was bad form for the buyer to decide it was worth more then they sold it if for and change their mind. Perhaps I am too old school. Opinions?

 

[NKOTB]

Well, I guess I'm old school too, then! That's really disappointing, I'm sorry.

 

[Enerchi]

Not cool. I would also be just as annoyed and upset. I'm sorry you aren't getting your stone Lisa... hopefully it means something even better is coming your way. I'm going to hope that's the case - good luck in your search. And... when this person sells again, maybe there will not be any interest and she doesn't make ANY money! Ha!

 

[OTL]

I don't know whether should I post here since it is about me.
But you might wanna hear the other side of the story...
When you change a word or two, you can really change a lot

The reason I was selling it is to get money for the 3ct orangy red mahenge spinel
I saw that stone from the Someone Has to Buy thread 2 days ago.

I listed my stone and it was sold yesterday evening.

Today I saw some PSer's input about how silky and orangy it would be in OP's another thread and I decide not purchasing that stone
So I apologized twice to the buyer that since I no longer need the money, I am having second thought selling my collections
I apologized twice for my impulsive behavior and issued a full refund.

So there it is, I did not think my stone is worth more than what I sold like it sounds from the OP
I just don't need to collect funds for a big purchase anymore.

Then I said I get that you are looking for a red spinel and will be disappointed. But I don't know why you are so pissed
and swear will disclose me since I explained clearly and apologized twice. Not like I don't get why she's upset....

I am not a trader or reseller just having second thought about selling my collections with apologies...

 

[innerkitten]

I agree. Not cool. I would be pretty upset if that happened to me too.

ETA:I just saw the above post. For some reason I thought it was a vendor. I hope you two can talk things out through email.

 

[hippi_pixi]

I think anyone would be upset. as soon as you decide to get get something and then pay for it, its yours and you form an emotional attachment. to find out that your not getting it is gonna be upsetting regardless of the circumstances. I'd be upset too.

that said in any arrangement whoever has the goods/money has the power and realistically can change their mind at any point until the goods change hands. and it hasn't really worked out well for anyone

sorry you lost out Lisa

 

[innerkitten]

And Lisa, I think you will wind up with a spinel you really love for the right price soon. Once you have your radar out these things tend to find their way to you. Hope that makes sense.

 

[Enerchi]

Youch --- ladies I hope you two can work it out and move forward. It is hard when you think you've bought/sold something and then "follow the dream" for whatever that purchase/sale was going to mean for both sides... then when it doesn't happen, there are hurt feelings from both ends.

I'm sorry you are both going thru a myriad of feelings. I really do hope it works out and there is no residual uncomfortableness - I'd like for both of you to still enjoy PS and not feel weird on either side about participating.

I'm also sorry for being harsh in my original post.

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

Thanks for the support guys. It is not about the stone so much as it is a matter of trust. I have bought and sold from members on both forums without any problems at all. I just didn't expect this from a forum member. I am going to let it go now. But lesson learned.

 

[movie zombie]

i can understand the disappointment.....but i also understand the seller's point of view.

i would ask the seller, though, will you be putting this stone up for sale later when you again see another stone you want?
if so, wouldn't you be just as well off to keep to the agreement to sell now and have the $ for when you do buy?
or are you going to now keep this stone "forever"?

just questions to try and help sort out the aftermath of a sale gone south and not wanting to see pricescope become a battlefield with sides drawn.

 

[minousbijoux]

Lisa:

I hope you are cosmically rewarded with a stone worth the wait, and I for one will keep my eyes peeled...

Please post your ideal specs - the price not so much as we understand you want it to be a good deal...

 

[OTL]

i can understand the disappointment.....but i also understand the seller's point of view.

i would ask the seller, though, will you be putting this stone up for sale later when you again see another stone you want?
if so, wouldn't you be just as well off to keep to the agreement to sell now and have the $ for when you do buy?
or are you going to now keep this stone "forever"?

just questions to try and help sort out the aftermath of a sale gone south and not wanting to see pricescope become a battlefield with sides drawn.

Hi MZ

Since you asked, No, I won't. After the little incident, I feel it's kinda special to me now. I will keep it "forever" as a reminder for future buying and selling decisions.
I made a bad decision I should take the responsibility, just hope OP didn't cover the truth either.
PS is too much a valuable place to me over a stone.

 

[movie zombie]

thanks for the response.
everyone makes mistakes.....it goes a long way, i think, re goodwill that you will be keeping the stone and not selling at a later date for your project.

personally, i think this was bound to happen sooner or later. something similar happened to me when i went to buy a high karat gold chain from a pricescoper but i was concerned that she would regret selling it and pushed to make sure she wasn't going to regret it down the line. and i pushed again even when she said she wouldn't. turns out she decided to not sell and i was ok with it. disappointed? sure. but ok with it.

 

[chrono]

I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. I, too, thought that once both parties agree on the sale, there's no going back. It's like going to a secondhand car dealership and just as I'm about to write the check, the dealer decided to keep the car himself. I don't know whether this is legal or not, but it puts a sour taste in the mouth. Although I'm glad for OTL (no regrets later), I symphatize with Lisa because of the normal expectation of a sale.

 

[colorluvr]

Unfortunately, if one buys and or sells on DB a lot, something will eventually happen that leaves a sour taste in your mouth (as Chrono says).

A seller on DB just listed something I sold them in May at a 33% profit. I see it is marked sold..... they can ask what they want I guess, but what does irk me is that the same seller also has a ring for sale that I listed as "free with purchase" when I passed it on to her because the item was a gift to me (by someone I bought from on DB) and I don't sell gifts. Now THAT does leave a taste..... I know...... it shouldn't bother me..... but it does.....

 

[T L]

That's why I hate selling. I've regretted selling some things I did. Being a seller is not for everyone.

In any case, sorry that happened to you. Lots of people scope out PS, and lurk here, and not just buyers, but sellers too. It's a very informative place for the colored gems marketplace, and smart people get their information from here on how to price, and what's hot and what's not.

 

[chrono]

Colorluvr,
I guess once it's no longer ours, we have no further control over it but I understand how you feel. Selling a gift for profit feels materialistic and unappreciative of the gift. I suppose you can say she's or he's very fortunate to get a buyer who is willing to pay that much for the item.

 

[Aerix]

I know exactly how you feel. I had something similar happen to me on DB, only what was worse was that I was refunded my money and the seller explained that the another person offered them more for the item AFTER I'd already paid. They claimed that the other person paid at the same time I did, however they had already confirmed the sale with me BEFORE that, so I don't believe a word of that explanation. What was even more of a slap was that it was just a $50 difference in price. It left a sour taste in my mouth and I was so tempted to say something rude in reply or post a rant on Hangout, but I held my tongue and didn't bother. I won't say who it is, but sometimes you just have to let these things go... There are a couple of things I've sold that I wish I'd asked more for, but I've never backed out of a sale after payment, except for one time when I realized it wasn't legal to ship jewelry into a certain country.

 

[Upgradable]

I ran into a sticky situation a couple of months ago. When I placed a listing I included a Paypal button/link for people that want to Buy It Now, or the equivalent. I had received an email with a question from an interested individual. Before we came to an agreement, I found someone had purchased the item at the listed price. I was so embarrassed. Gratefully the interested individual was understanding about what happened. I no longer include the Paypal link with my listings.

 

[1001smiles]

I had a similar situation too, when the seller agreed to my offer price and then told me next day that she got a higher offer and backed out. At first I was upset, but then I spent that money on something else I enjoyed and felt like this was meant to be. I feel like we are dealing with many personalities on DB and anything can be expected. I've also sold some stones on DB that I know people have enjoyed, so that makes me happy.

 

[kenny]

When money is at stake people are very different from otherwise.
That's just the way it is.

I'd try not to get too bent out of shape about it.

 

[LD]

I once sold a house and immediately regretted it. However I went through with the sale, mainly because my husband thought I had finally gone mad! Fate intervened and I sold the next house I bought for a tidy profit in a very short space of time. So I'm sure that these things happen for a reason. As Kenny says it's better to just put it behind you and look forward.

 

[corundum_conundrum]

I think while reneging like this is probably legal (you almost always have 30 days to cancel a contract) it is done in a certain amount of bad faith. It sounds like the seller has acknowledged that she made an error, and her apologies are an attempt to make things right. I also think Lisa is justified in making this dealing public, just like a consequence for a strange business practice by a professional is that someone might complain to the BBB. If the seller ever does put this or a similar stone back for sale, the seller certainly owes it to Lisa to contact her personally before offering it generally.

@ Lisa

Sorry Lisa. I would be pissed too. If someone posts something for sale, agrees to sell it, accepts your offer, and then reneges, it is certainly a very poor business practice and unexpected. In cases of extreme extenuating circumstances, its okay, but this doesn't sound like such a case. I guess this is the drawback of buying things from non-professional vendors. But I'm sure something else will come your way. As a consolation, it sounds like the seller through their apologies is acknowledging he/she was very much in the wrong here.

@ OTL

Its good you are taking this as a lesson of what not to do in the future. There was no guarantee that you would get the 3 ct stone, so this was a very risky venture if you viewed the sale as a "trade-in" for the orange. If the only reason you would sell something would be to get something else, you could always make this a clause of the sale. That is, you could stipulate that you will only send out the stone if you win your bid for some other stone, otherwise the sale will be canceled. Now, some people will not want to buy from you with this stipulation, but it would be a risk they accept if they propose to buy from you. So, you would avoid the poor business practice of backing-out on a sale without warning, and still be able to hedge your bets in good faith. Everybody makes mistakes, though. Sorry this was so unpleasant.

 

[cm366]

corundum_conundrum: +1

Sorry Lisa, I feel your pain, I just had a similar experience with a PS DB seller. The person I dealt with was very apologetic but explained that they'd been overcome with seller's remorse at the thought of parting with a stone they didn't feel could be replaced. While I understand that regret, I really wish they'd considered that before listing it, or at least before accepting my money.

I don't see anything wrong with 'outing' the other party if you feel the need to do so, although I'd note that Lisa didn't do so here. I do think it's incumbent on anyone 'outing' a transaction to do so as impartially as possible - it's perfectly understandable to feel angry or sad, but your warning to future buyers will be much more valuable if it's objectively written and detailed. We've all read angry screeds from buyers who felt betrayed by vendors, and I know I put less weight on them the more angry and bitter they sound. Thanks very much for sharing your experience with us, for your very well-phrased suggestion of care, and here's hoping that you find the spinel of your dreams!

 

[imagardener2]

The bottom line is: does the seller have the same advantages as the buyer. If a buyer has the right to return an item, no questions asked, does the seller have a reciprocity? Obviously a seller can't get an item back once it's been shipped but this is a "before" situation.

I was in business (non-jewelry) for 25 years and always stood by my sale even if every so often it was not to my advantage (not always a money issue, sometimes a better use of my time appeared). If this seller were "in the trade" they would not stay in business long, reputation in the jewelry business is everything. And when you deal with non-professionals you have to expect less than professional actions.

Legally, until money changes hands, there is no contract. Once the money is exchanged there is. But still you cannot enforce that contract long-distance.

That's why sellers on ebay are sooo protective of their ratings and will do almost anything to avoid a negative review. It's the greatest thing since you-name-it.

If it were me I'd let it go and think it a lesson on both sides.

 

[pokerface]

Just in case anyone is taking legal advice from this forum, I'd like to point out a few things.

1) Do you have 30 days to cancel most contracts? NO. Not unless such cancellation period was written into the original contract.

2) Can you have a contract before money changes hands? YES.

3) Does the buyer in this case have a contract? YES.

4) Is there something the buyer can do? MAYBE. It's called small claims court. Depending on the specific rules of a state, a judge MIGHT be able to rule that the seller must perform the contact, ie, actually sell the stone. On the other hand, since a full refund was issued, the contract may have been successfully canceled.

5) Is it worth it to go to small claims court? MAYBE.

 

[LD]

Just in case anyone is taking legal advice from this forum, I'd like to point out a few things.

1) Do you have 30 days to cancel most contracts? NO. Not unless such cancellation period was written into the original contract.

2) Can you have a contract before money changes hands? YES.

3) Does the buyer in this case have a contract? YES.

4) Is there something the buyer can do? MAYBE. It's called small claims court. Depending on the specific rules of a state, a judge MIGHT be able to rule that the seller must perform the contact, ie, actually sell the stone. On the other hand, since a full refund was issued, the contract may have been successfully canceled.

5) Is it worth it to go to small claims court? MAYBE.

Please note that the above may not be legally correct dependent on the country/state you live in!

I also can't believe the way this thread is going. Please remember, both parties post on here. It's an unfortunate situation and both parties feel sad about what has happened and there have been apologies. I feel REALLY bad seeing the way this thread is going.

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

Guys I have let it go. But I want to thank everyone for wishing me a great red spinel and I will count on all of you to help me find one when I search.

No hard feelings towards OTL.

 

[LD]

Guys I have let it go. But I want to thank everyone for wishing me a great red spinel and I will count on all of you to help me find one when I search.

No hard feelings towards OTL.

Lovely to hear Lisa. I'm sure everybody will try and help find you a lovely stone. x

 

[chrono]

I am very glad that both parties are letting this go. A painful experience but we all here learned something about it as well. I would like to apologize for bringing up the question about the legal aspects of a sale. It was mere curiosity on my part about any sale in general and not to imply that Lisa should look into bringing OTL to court for a breach of contract. That would be a horrifying topic indeed!