Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Backing out of commitments

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.

meresal

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 13, 2007
Messages
5,720
Say someone bought tickets about 6 months before an event, immediatelty you said you would love to go, and offered to buy 2 tickets and go with the group. Meanwhile, seeing eachother multiple times since initial agreement and always talking about going. One month out they follow up with you, and you still verified that you were going. Come the week of the event you have to cancel, for whatever reason, and are no longer able to go...

Would you offer to pay if the other party couldn''t find people to buy the tickets?
 

VRBeauty

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 2, 2006
Messages
10,290
Absolutely. I''d offer to pay without expecting the other party to find replacements!
 

Circe

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
8,087
Yes. No question about it. They''d have to eat the cost if they''d bought the tickets themselves and something had come up: why on earth should it become the friend''s problem by default?
 

Deelight

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
Messages
5,543
Date: 4/1/2009 12:03:46 PM
Author: VRBeauty
Absolutely. I''d offer to pay without expecting the other party to find replacements!

Ditto, especially since it is really last minute notice as well.
 

decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
11,534
Date: 4/1/2009 12:01:01 PM
Author:meresal
Would you offer to pay if the other party couldn''t find people to buy the tickets?
Yes. Its a firm social obligation with the added complication of financial credit extended & accepted.

Something we''ve done in the past is to donate our unused tickets to charity & take the write off. At least *someone* benefits & the financial loss is lessened a bit.
 

meresal

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 13, 2007
Messages
5,720
I am beyond sick right now. With ANY other person I would have "requested" that they pay up front, but this couple is over 10 yrs older than us, and I never expected to get a call like this.
They are social acquaintances of ours, with a group that we don't really associate with much anymore... would you call and request that they pay what they promised? We are talking a substantial price for the tickets, and after looking on craiglist, where there are over 300 posts in the last 2 days to sell tickets. It's not even an option to try and sell them at this point.

Deco, what kind of organizations do you donate them too? This is a wrestling event, so I'm thinking our options are a bit limited. If I donate them, I would prefer that they get used. I was thinking maybe a childrens cancer center.
 

babysteps

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 13, 2008
Messages
597
Yes, I would absolutely offer to pay immediately. Honestly, I would be fine if I paid (being unable to go) and if the other couple was able to find someone last-minute they would be welcome to my paid-in tickets (don''t like the thought of empty seats at an event, but that is just me.)
 

Elmorton

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 5, 2007
Messages
3,998
Whether or not the tickets were purchased via a friend or ticketmaster, it''s the person''s obligation to pay for them if they asked that tickets be promised to them. DH and I have had to give up tickets like this before - sent friends in our place for free, etc.

I really don''t think it''s the other party''s obligation to find someone else (in reference to the first post) - and yes, I would call and request that they pay for the tickets. I hope this works out in your favor, Meresal!
 

lucyandroger

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 12, 2008
Messages
1,557
Date: 4/1/2009 12:17:17 PM
Author: meresal

I am beyond sick right now. With ANY other person I would have ''requested'' that they pay up front, but this couple is over 10 yrs older than us, and I never expected to get a call like this.
They are social acquaintances of ours, with a group that we don''t really associate with much anymore... would you call and request that they pay what they promised? We are talking a substantial price for the tickets, and after looking on craiglist, where there are over 300 posts in the last 2 days to sell tickets. It''s not even an option to try and sell them at this point.

Deco, what kind of organizations do you donate them too? This is a wrestling event, so I''m thinking our options are a bit limited. If I donate them, I would prefer that they get used. I was thinking maybe a childrens cancer center.
What a PITA!!! I''ve been in a similar situation before.

I would call the couple up and ask if they found anybody to replace them. Then say, well I wasn''t able to find anyone either so unfortunately the price of the tickets is $XXX.
 

Girlrocks

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 19, 2006
Messages
575
Absolutely...and I would have NO PROBLEM calling them and requesting them to do so!
 

Bia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 28, 2008
Messages
6,181
They should have paid for those tickets, and honestly, I''d be furious at them for trying to get out of it! Definitely put them on spotlight and ask them if they still intend to pay for them?

I''m amazed at how shameless some people can be when it comes to these types of financial responsibilities.
 

courtney5638

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
83
I really think that you should ask these people to pay. It is not fair of them to expect you to pay for their tickets when they made the commitment to you.

Let us know how it turns out!
 

butterfly 17

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 17, 2005
Messages
2,681
Yes, they should definitely pay if you can''t find anyone to buy the tickets, they should even offer to sell them themselves. There is no question about it. I would, if it were me.

We had problems like this at work when we would go out for Broadway shows. People would say they were going and then cancel out when the tickets were already paid for by the person who ordered them. It got to the point were we all just stopped going. I know two people that still owe my friend, the person who paid the money, and this was 2 years ago.

Even when we go out to dinner as a work group, some people would bring their teenage kids and their kids would be added into the final head count at the restaurant (it was a fixed price per person) and the parents would say that their kid didn''t like the food and they should not have to pay for them. So, we all ended up paying for those kids. Not fair at all.

It''s just common sense and courtesy..
 

Diamond*Dana

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 21, 2006
Messages
7,222
They should absolutely pay for the tickets, no doubt about it!
I cannot believe that anyone would think it is ok to cancel last minute and not pay!
 

Haven

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 15, 2007
Messages
13,166
Mere, sorry this happened.

I''d call one of them up and say "The tickets cost $XX. Why don''t you write us a check and I''ll give them to you so you can work out the details with whoever you sell them to." I would go into the conversation assuming that they would do the correct thing.

What a pain.
 

meresal

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 13, 2007
Messages
5,720
Date: 4/1/2009 1:08:10 PM
Author: Haven
Mere, sorry this happened.

I'd call one of them up and say 'The tickets cost $XX. Why don't you write us a check and I'll give them to you so you can work out the details with whoever you sell them to.' I would go into the conversation assuming that they would do the correct thing.

What a pain.
Haven your opinion about going into it with a set statement is kind of what I decided to do-

**Update: I located my backbone**
Usually in situations like this, with people I'm not too close with, I tend to shy away from confrontation, and just chalk it up to a lesson learned and a lost friendship. I may get walked on once, but it doesn't happen twice. I'm really glad you all convinced me that this was a situation that needed to be dealt with.
Eventhough I hate email conversations about serious subjects. The husband had indicated to me that he was out of town on business, so I knew he would be on his blackberry. I wrote, "Just making sure you all are still going to pay for the tickets? There is no way we can find 2 people for this event in 3 days."
He, replied, "Yeah. No problem. (and some other stuff)". End of story they will be paying for the tickets, and I am writing him back to tell him that if he knows anyone that wants to go, then the tickets are his to give away.

Though, there is still an ill feeling in my stomach. If it were me on the other end, I would have made it known immediately that I would pay for the tickets eventhough we coudln't make it. So, I still feel like they were trying to weasel out of it. This is just something I never would have expected from this couple.

Thanks for all of your responses and well wishes!! Anyone want to go to Wrestlemania??
 

Bia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 28, 2008
Messages
6,181
Date: 4/1/2009 1:28:28 PM
Author: meresal
Haven your opinion about going into it with a set statement is kind of what I decided to do-

**Update: I located my backbone**

Thanks for all of your responses and well wishes!! Anyone want to go to Wrestlemania??
Proud of you Mer. You did the right thing.


They better give you your bread!!!
 

AmberGretchen

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 6, 2005
Messages
7,770
I''m glad the husband at least didn''t give you trouble when you made a point of asking. It is possible that they just kind of spaced on mentioning they were going to pay - still not OK, but it doesn''t necessarily make them horrible people. If they do the right thing, without putting up a fuss, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.
 

Kelli

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
5,455
Glad you got it sorted out. I would have definitely offered to pay for the tickets and would have felt terrible for having to cancel at the last minute.
 

VRBeauty

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 2, 2006
Messages
10,290
Date: 4/1/2009 1:28:28 PM
Author: meresal
Anyone want to go to Wrestlemania??




Congrats on following up on this! It was rotten of them not to make it clear up front that they''d honor the commitment, and to force you to bring it up.
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
I''d pay for the tickets too. I wouldn''t let this eat at you. Seems like they will do the responsible and reasonable thing... I should not anticipate any hard feelings on their part.
 

mrscushion

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2008
Messages
3,309
Absolutely. No question about it.

ETA: Well done for making sure they pay their share! People can really be cheap.
 

phoenixgirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 20, 2003
Messages
3,369
I think it''s the backer-outter''s responsibility to put the tickets on CraigsList (or whatever) and deal with finding replacements if, after mentioning that you can''t go to the other party, s/he doesn''t say, "Oh, no problem, I know someone else who can go." That person shouldn''t be stuck with the extra tickets purchased for commitment breaker.
 

Rhea

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 20, 2007
Messages
6,294
I''d feel a bit unsure too if the person didn''t immediately offer to pay. That''d leave a really bad feeling in my stomach. I''m glad that he agreed to pay, but you shouldn''t have had to ask. I hope that he comes through.
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
That''s good that he said that he''d pay. They should definitely have offered though before you had to ask them! Glad it worked out!
 

zoebartlett

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2006
Messages
12,450
Date: 4/1/2009 12:05:05 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 4/1/2009 12:01:01 PM
Author:meresal
Would you offer to pay if the other party couldn''t find people to buy the tickets?
Yes. Its a firm social obligation with the added complication of financial credit extended & accepted.

Something we''ve done in the past is to donate our unused tickets to charity & take the write off. At least *someone* benefits & the financial loss is lessened a bit.
That''s a great idea! I''d offer to pay if the other party couldn''t find replacements.
 

kama_s

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
3,617
It has happened to me before as well, so now I give the tickets to the respective people RIGHT AWAY.

You handled it well, it''s always a sticky position to be in and we always hope our friend/acquaintance will do what''s right, which, alas, is not always the case.
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Be a part of the community It's free, join today!
    What is White Gold?
    What is White Gold?
    Push Present: Engagement Ring Upgrade
    Push Present: Engagement Ring Upgrade
    20th Anniversary Upgrade
    20th Anniversary Upgrade

Need Something Special?

Get a quote from multiple trusted and vetted jewelers.

Holloway Cut Advisor



Diamond Eye Candy

Click to view full-size image.
Top