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Back with a new man, a new love, and a much happier life!

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ilovesparkles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
2,389
So, it was June of 2006 when I was last here, a broken mess. My ex and I are cordial to each other online now, via Facebook, but I denied him any contact until this winter. We had a decent talk a few months back. I really don''t want anything to do with him, but I found it was finally easier to give in and be polite than be annoyed every 3 months when he would try and email me. I may have gone soft!

ANYWAYS! The real reason I am here, my love, My HAL!


Approximately 4 or 5 years ago, we met on a Jewish dating site online. We casually chatted, nothing more. I never deleted his name from my chat log. One night last fall, ok it was Sept. 10th, 2008; I was really bored out of my mind. This guy online had a sad status posted. I thought I knew this guy as someone I had met through the local Twin Cities Jewish Singles Collaborative. We had met a few times with friends and hung out. So I said hi, he didn''t recognize me, so we chatted for 20 minutes. It was really 20 minutes of me trying to convince him of how he knew me. When I started to describe what I knew about him, I stated, "you have a Ph.D." And he says, "Wait a minute, you know I live in Omaha right?!" And I reply "Oh, no, when did you move?!?!" Hal states, "Ummmm, I have always lived here, I have friends in MN. You know my name is Hal ...." And I reply, "of course! So wait a minute, how do I know you then..." Finally we figure out the jdate.com connection and are floored. We proceeded to talk on the phone at the rate of 2 hrs a night for the next several days, and every night for the next 2 wks. Somehow, talking to each other just never got boring!

During this time of getting to know each other as friends, we had a few ups and downs. It was quite incredible that we were able to disagree, have an argument, even get mad, and still talk things out. He was able to finally come and visit me for New Years. And it was at the end of that visit we decided to try the craziness of a long-distance relationship.

WHAT???!!!! ME? I swore, so many times, after my ex, that I wouldn''t ever, ever consider doing this again! Its crazy, heart wrenching, expensive, and so emotional. Well, first of all, back up a second, Hal thought he would be moving here in January. This was the one and only reason I agreed with myself to even continue talking with him after that first night. Then he got a promotion at work, and wanted to hold on to that for a while before thinking about moving, so in Omaha he stays/ed. When he visited in January, it wasn''t an easy decision, but we decided to give it our all. I have read through my last thread, when my ex and I broke up, and read through all those helpful posts from all you ladies. WOW! I can honestly say at this point, that Hal and I hold those building blocks you all spoke of. And this relationship is work, but enjoyable work. We once said something along the lines of, even when we are fighting, we are still partners, we still know we will wake up the next morning and be there 100% for each other. Most importantly, as so many of you saw missing before, we have the most amazing time and FUN together.

SO in the last week or two, we have started talking about our future. I just visited him down in Omaha, met his parents, and all the good friends. It was so amazing, I didn''t want to leave! Last night we talked engagement, marriage, and a few other goofball things. And he has decided its official, we are engaged to be engaged!

perfection2.jpg
 

Smurfysmiles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
3,938
awww im so glad you found your prince charming :) your story sounds a lot like mine minus the ldr and the being jewish :)
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
Welcome back!!!!
 

idreamofcushions

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2008
Messages
736
Yay for new beginnings! Welcome back!
 

ilovesparkles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
2,389
Thanks ladies! My honey printed out my post and is putting it in his journal or something! He is too precious!
 

misskitty

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 20, 2008
Messages
1,691
Aww! I''m so glad you found your way back here with such happy news. You guys are super cute together!
 

ilovesparkles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
2,389
Oh and but of course! Don''t ask me how I forgot this oh so minor tid bit.... he has a family ring! I think it was his grandma''s wedding ring.
He thinks re-setting the diamond would be perfect!
 

somegirl932

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
Messages
311
Date: 3/21/2009 11:05:18 PM
Author: ilovesparkles
Oh and but of course! Don''t ask me how I forgot this oh so minor tid bit.... he has a family ring! I think it was his grandma''s wedding ring.
He thinks re-setting the diamond would be perfect!
Well that is just lucky!
 

LaraOnline

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 24, 2008
Messages
3,365
Great, and congrats! I love happy endings (and beginnings)!!
In fact, I had one myself!
I feel inspired to post Gibran''s ''Prophet'' poem on love...

Kahlil Gibran on Love

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God''s sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life''s heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love''s peace and love''s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love''s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love''s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
 

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
Messages
17,193
Ilovesparkles, I remember you well enough that I don''t have to go back and look for your old posts.

I am glad you are done with that guy. There was something in his eyes that wasn''t quite right with me.

I am delighted you are back and happy. I hope you do take it slow though. What I remember about your posts from a couple of years ago is that you really sounded like you wanted to be with someone. I hope now you want to be with the RIGHT one.

Re: Long distance relationships - the tricks and inflated feelings in LDR relationships are still there. Which is why I say take your time. Not trying to be a fuddy duddy (because I ended one LDR only to get into a worse one and now he is my wonderful husband) but like your last relationship, it sounds like you are in the honeymoon period of this one. Make sure you keep yourself and your well being a priority this time and see to it that he puts in effort into this LDR as well.

Good luck!!!
 

mrscushion

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2008
Messages
3,309
Welcome back! I was not on this board when you were last here, but it is very nice to hear your story anyway.
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
I have often wondered about you and I''m so glad to hear that you''re with someone new. I think that TGal gives good advice, take it slow and enjoy it.
 

ilovesparkles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
2,389
Thanks ladies, especially TGal and Bee, I almost didn''t put time periods in the story because I knew some of you would think, oh gawd here we go again. LOL! And its true, we started out good and slow, and after this last visit things have sped up quite a bit. BUT we are being reasonable to the best of our abilities, we apparently don''t have good abilities
. The tentative plan is for me to move to Omaha in 9 months when ours leases are both up. He had some grand ideas that I said no to. I was almost shocked and proud of myself. And yes, he gives 200% into this relationship, and works just as hard, if not harder
, than I do. It is an amazing feeling let me tell you!
 

ilovesparkles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
2,389
Date: 3/22/2009 12:36:07 AM
Author: LaraOnline
Great, and congrats! I love happy endings (and beginnings)!!

In fact, I had one myself!

I feel inspired to post Gibran''s ''Prophet'' poem on love...


Kahlil Gibran on Love


When love beckons to you, follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams

as the north wind lays waste the garden.


For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.


Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God''s sacred feast.


All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life''s heart.


But if in your fear you would seek only love''s peace and love''s pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love''s threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.


When you love you should not say, ''God is in my heart,'' but rather, ''I am in the heart of God.''

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.


Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love''s ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.












Lara - This is my mother''s favorite book! I know it well, thank you!
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
Hey there! It''s been a while! Welcome back.


I''m really glad you found someone who loves you for you, you deserve that as much as everyone. Congrats on the upcoming engagement!
 

idreamofcushions

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2008
Messages
736
Laraonline - what a beautiful poem. thank you!
 

BlueSki231

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 21, 2008
Messages
855
aww "engaged to be engaged" - i love it!! heehee
i wasn''t around PS back then but I''m glad you found your special someone! :)
congratulations!
 

jcarlylew

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 27, 2008
Messages
3,899
welcome back, and im so glad that you found someone to be so comfotable with! i wish you the best!
 

decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
11,534
Like TG I remember you *well*
. Its great to hear an update -- and even more wonderful that its a happy, exciting one! Sometimes you only can really know what you didn''t know when you finally know, yanno? Your new story is LIGHT YEARS apart from the last & I hope things continue to go smoothly yet slowly enough that you really, really know each other *live & in person* before you make the big commitment. But enough about the serious stuff -- CONGRATS & ENJOY the pre-honeymoon Honeymoon period for *all* its worth.
(You only get that part once!)
 

ilovesparkles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
2,389
Thanks so much Deco, I have honestly been waiting for you and Mara and a few others to stroll over here! I almost feel like I need your approval after all that you helped me through a few years ago! It is wonderful to be back and almost surreal to be looking at ring setting again! I can''t even describe how excited I am to know he has a family heirloom to give me one day!
 

ilovesparkles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
2,389
So H and I had a movie night tonight. And then talked for 2 hours, our specialty! And we were talking about stuff and it started turning towards engagement and what not. He now calls me his lady in waiting! I asked about his grandmother''s ring. He said he has only seen it once but that it was beautiful and that his mother is holding it for him!

Then he says, what do you think about me proposing in April?
HOLY COW!!!!!!!!!! We are meeting half way in Des Moines in 4 weeks. I told him we should wait a little bit longer! OMG did those words really come out of my mouth!!!! Most important, I want to have it happen in his city or mine, so we can celebrate with friends and family! He decided I was right. Good heavens!
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
Whoop whoop. Whoop Whoop!

(I am doing that like closed fist, arms straight out stirring pot in circles dance while I wiggle my tush from side to side!)
 

LAJennifer

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 2, 2005
Messages
2,019
Date: 3/22/2009 10:10:56 PM
Author: decodelighted
Like TG I remember you *well*
. Its great to hear an update -- and even more wonderful that its a happy, exciting one! Sometimes you only can really know what you didn''t know when you finally know, yanno? Your new story is LIGHT YEARS apart from the last & I hope things continue to go smoothly yet slowly enough that you really, really know each other *live & in person* before you make the big commitment. But enough about the serious stuff -- CONGRATS & ENJOY the pre-honeymoon Honeymoon period for *all* its worth.
(You only get that part once!)
Ditto - welcome back. It is nice to see you so happy.
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
Date: 3/23/2009 5:04:06 AM
Author: ilovesparkles
So H and I had a movie night tonight. And then talked for 2 hours, our specialty! And we were talking about stuff and it started turning towards engagement and what not. He now calls me his lady in waiting! I asked about his grandmother''s ring. He said he has only seen it once but that it was beautiful and that his mother is holding it for him!


Then he says, what do you think about me proposing in April?
HOLY COW!!!!!!!!!! We are meeting half way in Des Moines in 4 weeks. I told him we should wait a little bit longer! OMG did those words really come out of my mouth!!!! Most important, I want to have it happen in his city or mine, so we can celebrate with friends and family! He decided I was right. Good heavens!
woohoo I''m so proud of you. It will be great to do it when you can celebrate with your family and friends. It sounds like the ring will be a beauty!
 

gwendolyn

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 4, 2007
Messages
6,770
Woohoo, I love happy updates! Congrats on all the wonderful things happening in your life right now!
 

Tuckins1

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 13, 2008
Messages
8,614
Yay!! So glad you are happy and you are back at PS!!

(I wasn''t here back in ''06, but welcome back anyways!!)
 

roppongi

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 13, 2003
Messages
290
IloveSparkles,

Welcome Back to PS. I loved reading your story, it was very sweet. I have a feeling you will be moving on to BWW very quickly.

Roppongi
 

AprilBaby

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 17, 2008
Messages
11,135
You two look so sweet together!
 
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