LiW Back to the drawing board...

[patient1]

Hi LIWs... To update, I gave my boyfriend a ringbook full of ideas of rings I like and dislike. My 'dream ring' is a Ritani Endless Love Halo. After talking with my BF he said I should definitely go and try on my dream ring to make sure it was what I want.

Well... I'll admit, I didn't expect such a hefty price tag. Also, I didn't realize how tiny the band is; the tiny tiny band wasn't so flattering on my hand. My ring size is a 7 and I've always had slighty pudgy and short fingers.

Plus I'm re-evaluating our total budget. My BF he was thinking between $5K and $10K. But considering (combined) we have $80,000 in college debt, we have to pay for our own wedding and save for cars/a home in the near future I don't think it best to exhaust our finances for a 'dream ring'. (He earns $60K and I earn $29K) I've always been a sparkly fan -- but we're both young yet. There is always time for 'upgrades'.

My BF says he'll buy me whatever I want, he'll make it work, and I'm so appreciative of that... but I now realize the strain it would put on us being fresh from college and substantially in debt.

So we'd like to make $5-6,000 our new max. Here are my ideas:

1. Get a nice 1-1.25 carat diamond in a basic 6-prong platinum setting. I'm afraid of prongs... I live in my jewelry! But I know most people lead active lives with prongs and do okay, right? Why should I be any different?

2. Suggest my BF get a custom made plain bezel that would be cheaper than a halo from Ritani, but also fill my need for a flush fitting setting. I really would like my ering and w-band to fit flush. Here's an example from Flingle : https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-bezel-wedding-set.41755/ I'm afraid this option will eat up a lot of our budget.

3. Get an eternity band as an ering. I've always liked the idea -- but I know it's unconventional. It would also be the most cost effective choice. I'd pair it with a plain platinum wedding band and maybe on our 5 or 10 year anniversary I could get a nice three-stone anniversary ring (maybe Ritani?

) and then use my eternity ering as a w-band. --To be honest, I am hesitant on this option based on what other's might think. Would people judge my BF or me? Those close to me know my BF and I are on a tight budget so I think they'd be more surprised if I had 10K worth of diamonds on my finger. But I worry still...

4. I've worn a Claddagh ring on my left hand for the past 5 years. Maybe getting a Claddagh ring with a diamond in it as my ering or use it as both e-ring and w-ring. Here's an example Platinum Diamond Claddagh ring The size of the heart would restrict the overall size of diamond, and thus be cheaper and sentimental.

Any suggestions?? I'm so appreciative of any advice... Thanks everyone in advance and have a wonderful night!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I vote for 1 or 2. I think 4 is also nice. As for 3, I think 1 or 2 is a better option, personally. I always go for the shiny diamond and then a plain band if that''s all I can afford. Our initial budget was about the same as the budget you are going on now, but after I started looking I realized I didn''t have to spend that much for what I wanted. We also have college debt (I am actually still in college) and we don''t live in the 100% safest area, so I opted to go for a .70 vvs2 G in white gold instead of 1+ in platinum. I also definitely plan on upgrades..as soon as a few years from now.

Just a thought, but if you''re set on the platinum and the 1+ then I say go for that.

 

[surfgirl]

May I just say that I totally APPLAUD your maturity on this decision. So many times I read girls that are just out of school wanting a huge rock and I wonder about their financial awareness...Good for you for realizing that a "dream" ring isn''t needed or even necessary...it''s the commitment that''s the most important thing and I think it''s terrific that you''re being level headed about a decision that can often be quite irrational and emotional.

That said, I think that you should consider either option 1 - get the best quality stone you can afford and put it in a simple setting - could be classic 4 or 6 prong, or bezel, and if you feel the need down the road, when you''re financially stable, do an upgrade or put the center stone in a more elaborate setting.

Or...do the eternity band option as an ering and pair it with a plain wband, and someday, get the ering you desire IF you feel you want it down the road. Honestly, you could get quite an amazing eternity band with your budget and it would be nothing that anyone would look down upon! If you figure say, $775+tx for a 3mm plain plat Tiffany Lucida wband, that leaves you a healthy $5000. for an eternity band and you could get something quite amazing for that budget. Then again, you could also get a wonderful center stone for the same and put it in the plain setting.

Why dont you try on as much as you can, and go try on eternity bands of a variety of carat sizes, and see which you prefer on your finger? Enjoy the shopping process!

 

[choro72]

First, I am impressed by your maturity. My personal take on your options.

1. Can''t go wrong with this, unless you think you will get bored with it soon.
2. I think this will be closer to what you like, and you will be able to enjoy this more until you get your upgrade. I don''t think the setting should cost you as much as you think...Wouldn''t hurt to get a quote anyway. Depending on the size of the stone you are thinking of.
3. Despite other people''s opinion, I am a fan of wearing eternity bands as engagement rings. It''s quite common in other cultures, and it''s beautiful. The big center rock is prominent only in the US. And yes, probably the US people will judge that you went the economical way, but isn''t it true? It still doesn''t change the fact that it will be gorgeous.
4. Very lovely.

Also, have you thought about other gemstones? Whatever you decide, good luck!

 

[Deelight]

I have to agree being realistic with the idea of the ring is something that should be applauded BTW your BF sounds like a sweetie

I am partial to the first three Eternity bands are fantastic they look good and like you said you can always upgrade it later and use it as a wedding ring .

I am also a fan of the diamond is a simple setting but I am fairly biased I love a simple setting that really makes a diamond to me pop .

Have you also thought about doing a 3 stone ring with maybe a colored sapphire centre or other coloured gem and diamond sides?

Whatever you chose I am sure it will be beautiful

The fun part is trying on all the loverlies

 

[nclrgirl]

Hi! I agree with the others. I''m impressed with your maturity and financial awareness! I''d personally vote for 1 or 3

1) You can get a beautiful solitaire and upgrade the setting later (or even use your original diamond as one of the side stones in your future 3-stone ring!!) OR buy your stone from somewhere with an upgrade policy and upgrade later

3) This way you''re buying a peice that you will keep intact and wear as-is.

Whichever you decide, remember that it''s not what others think, but what you and your bf think that matters

 

[anchor31]

I think getting a lovely diamond in a plain setting now to reset it later in your dream setting is a great idea. Good luck with everything!

 

[Gemma12]

I just wanted to chime in and say well done for taking such a mature approach!

My brother just got married and they took the ''eternity ring as engagement ring'' approach. It looks beautiful and leaves them so much flexibility down the track whilst still having a beautiful ring. I think whatever you decide will be lovely.

Good luck!

 

[sandia_rose]

I like option #1. If you're active, why not go for a bezel set ring, like the pic I posted below? Bezels are great - they don't catch on things and there's less of a chance that the stone could get knocked loose (as it conceiveably could when a prong gets bent). They're simple, classy and will never go out of style. Plus, they look great with almost any band.

By the way, echoing other's opinions: BRAVO to you for thinking about the financial implications of your decision. I know soooo many people who are drowning in debt because they just HAD to have a certain car, house, piece of jewelery, etc. It's the commitment that matters, NOT the ring. If you find yourself still wanting the big bling after some time has passed, then you can go for it, once you're financially secure to the level of your liking.

On the non-traditional route....don't worry about what people think. It's not a necessity to go for a diamond, or even a ring. There are soooo many options nowadays that "traditional" isn't the norm so much anymore. I have several friends/acquantances who have sapphires and other stones. My little brother bought his fiancee an amythest because she's not a diamond person. I went to college with a punky/goth girl who did not like jewelery, period. She and her fiance got matching tattoos. I read in the paper not too long ago that they just had their third child....so ten years later, the lack of rings doesn't mean too much to them in the context of their relationship

.

I'd like a canary or champagne stone...or a colored sapphire. I would like to look down at my hand and feel that my ring is "ME" and is not something anyone else has. And also, I'm Irish. The claddah option is also very appropriate and meaningful if you wanted to go for no-stones.

Bridget in Connecticut.

 

[Independent Gal]

Hi there, I want to join the chorus of PSers who are proud of you for being so responsible. My FI and I earn more than you two, and we STILL refused to spend more than 5K on my ring. One doesn''t have to have everything one wants right away, right?

That said, have you checked out signedpieces.com? They sell estate and pre-owned designer pieces. If you do a search on here, you''ll find that their customer service is widely touted.

Another idea: overstock.com sells some designer settings at a discount... such as tacori... which you might like.

You can always get the diamond you want in a plain setting now, and buy a fancier setting in a few years when it''s affordable for you.

 

[sandia_rose]

Date: 3/17/2008 11:28:58 AM
Author: Independent Gal
Hi there, I want to join the chorus of PSers who are proud of you for being so responsible. My FI and I earn more than you two, and we STILL refused to spend more than 5K on my ring. One doesn't have to have everything one wants right away, right?

That said, have you checked out signedpieces.com? They sell estate and pre-owned designer pieces. If you do a search on here, you'll find that their customer service is widely touted.

Another idea: overstock.com sells some designer settings at a discount... such as tacori... which you might like.

You can always get the diamond you want in a plain setting now, and buy a fancier setting in a few years when it's affordable for you.

I was curious, so I did. And I found an eternity band and a ring that are really similar to the ones the OP mentioned:

Eternity Band: http://signedpieces.com/item.cfm?item_id=5792 - $855.

3 Stone E-Ring: http://signedpieces.com/item.cfm?item_id=7743 - $1295

MUCH lower than her budget! The e-ring may not be her size, but it can be sized. The eternity band obviously can't...but that's the easier thing to find.

There are a lot of nice engagement-type rings in the "jewelry" link (not under engagement section).

Bridget in Connecticut.

 

[Independent Gal]

waaah! I''m going to be so jealous if you get that DeBeers 3 stone. I''ve been lusting after it for a while now. So... elegant. It''s even almost my size.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 3/17/2008 3:07:05 AM
Author: surfgirl
May I just say that I totally APPLAUD your maturity on this decision. So many times I read girls that are just out of school wanting a huge rock and I wonder about their financial awareness...Good for you for realizing that a ''dream'' ring isn''t needed or even necessary...it''s the commitment that''s the most important thing and I think it''s terrific that you''re being level headed about a decision that can often be quite irrational and emotional.

That said, I think that you should consider either option 1 - get the best quality stone you can afford and put it in a simple setting - could be classic 4 or 6 prong, or bezel, and if you feel the need down the road, when you''re financially stable, do an upgrade or put the center stone in a more elaborate setting.

Or...do the eternity band option as an ering and pair it with a plain wband, and someday, get the ering you desire IF you feel you want it down the road. Honestly, you could get quite an amazing eternity band with your budget and it would be nothing that anyone would look down upon! If you figure say, $775+tx for a 3mm plain plat Tiffany Lucida wband, that leaves you a healthy $5000. for an eternity band and you could get something quite amazing for that budget. Then again, you could also get a wonderful center stone for the same and put it in the plain setting.

Why dont you try on as much as you can, and go try on eternity bands of a variety of carat sizes, and see which you prefer on your finger? Enjoy the shopping process!

Surfgirl gives great advice.

Two other options for the price you have in mind: Number one: A colored stone with a sentimental meaning to both of you. You can get a very nice sapphire/garnet/topaz/amethyst/aquamarine/tanzanite/etc. Set it in the setting you prefer now. Make it a right hand ring later if you so desire. Number two: A vintage ring in a style that you love, i.e. Edwardian. Many choices out there, especially online. Try topazery.com or faycullen.com; you''ll be surprised at the pricing.

Also, I''d be willing to bet that many of the PS vendors have a wonderful diamond and a setting you''d love for the price range you''re considering. I don''t think you''ll have to ''settle''; I believe you can find a wonderful ring for that price.

Happy hunting!

 

[bee*]

I definitely think that you''re doing the right thing! When you''re more financially stable, you can always buy your dream ring! I love the option of number 1.

 

[Circe]

Good on you for being so practical! Me, I''d vote for either the eternity band option or the bezel set diamond: both looks are elegant and classic. Audrey Hepburn, anyone? And, as for the bezel: they''re not actually considerably more expensive than prong-set rings, and they''re *much* safer. Also, if you have any worries about DSS, the bezel creates the illusion of a larger stone ....

 

[patient1]

Wow!!! Thank you all so much for the advice and EXTREMELY KIND compliments! In my short time participating in this forum PSers have never let me down when I need a little help... Thank you all again!

I''ll admit, I''m still torn between my options, but (after "sleeping on it" and seeing general consensus here) I am now leaning toward getting a simple solitaire setting with as nice a diamond as our budget will allow. If anything that way I''m one step closer to a future Ritani ring -- I''ll already have a center diamond! I have a question though: I''ve never worn a prong set ring before... is it hard to get used to?

Also I''m torn on shape... I love elongated shapes: marquis, oval and radiant stones (that are long like an emerald cut). I know I need to see how they''ll look with my hand. My fingers are sort of short and slightly pudgy. I''ve attached a picture (you''ll see the Claddagh ring on my ring finger). I''m a larger gal, 5''6" and a size 12/14 so I''d like a ring that fits my body type.

I know it''s a matter of personal preference, but which of these shapes do you think would give me the most finger coverage or be the most complimentary to my handshape? Are these shapes hard to find or hard to purchase? I don''t want to send my BF on a wild goose chase.

My other concern: With simple settings like this six prong at Blue Nile or this four prong at Blue Nile will they still fit flush with a wedding ring when set with a fancy shape diamond? Are fancy shapes always put in six prong? Do you all think six prongs offers much more difference than four prongs for security/wear-ability?

Thank you again! If these questions are too specific, I can post a new thread elsewhere...

Thanks so much!

 

[patient1]

Sorry, forgot to attach the picture!

 

[surfgirl]

I think a classic round will look most flattering on your hand/finger but you need to go try on different shapes and it''ll become clear to you right away.

 

[choro72]

Date: 3/17/2008 4:02:58 PM
Author: patient1
I''ll admit, I''m still torn between my options, but (after ''sleeping on it'' and seeing general consensus here) I am now leaning toward getting a simple solitaire setting with as nice a diamond as our budget will allow. If anything that way I''m one step closer to a future Ritani ring -- I''ll already have a center diamond! I have a question though: I''ve never worn a prong set ring before... is it hard to get used to?

Also I''m torn on shape... I love elongated shapes: marquis, oval and radiant stones (that are long like an emerald cut). I know I need to see how they''ll look with my hand. My fingers are sort of short and slightly pudgy. I''ve attached a picture (you''ll see the Claddagh ring on my ring finger). I''m a larger gal, 5''6'' and a size 12/14 so I''d like a ring that fits my body type.

I know it''s a matter of personal preference, but which of these shapes do you think would give me the most finger coverage or be the most complimentary to my handshape? Are these shapes hard to find or hard to purchase? I don''t want to send my BF on a wild goose chase.

My other concern: With simple settings like this six prong at Blue Nile or this four prong at Blue Nile will they still fit flush with a wedding ring when set with a fancy shape diamond? Are fancy shapes always put in six prong? Do you all think six prongs offers much more difference than four prongs for security/wear-ability?

Thank you again! If these questions are too specific, I can post a new thread elsewhere...

Thanks so much!

Actually, elongated shapes might help you with your budget, since that is your issue. marquise and ovals are generally cheaper for the same size.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

Good for you and BF on starting out on the right foot...debt is a bad, bad thing

!

Honestly, I think that all of your ideas are wonderful! The bezel set e-ring that you linked is so pretty, and and eternity ring as your e-ring is also a beautiful choice.

I have to say that I absolutely love the claddagh e-ring that you posted...there are so many gorgeous claddagh e-rings and matching bands. I think this is such a unique choice!

 

[LegacyGirl]

I too have to chime in to say it is so refreshing to hear someone who has a good head on their shoulders when it comes to finances.

 

[FrekeChild]

Ok, here''s another option: Get your Ritani setting and put a big fat white sapphire in it, and then upgrade later to the diamond. At least it''s another option right?

I know how you feel about the school loans. BF is in a phd program but luckily has managed so far to have only about 25k in debt, and I don''t have any (Thanks Mom and Dad!) but seeing how we''re both still in school-I want my ering to cost less than a grand. I also want to applaud you for making such a financially responsible decision. Too many girls are running around wanting the best stuff money can buy right away and not thinking about future needs or piling a giant load of debt on top of an already giant load of debt-or whatever the case may be.

Personally I''d go with a simple setting and a great diamond.

And go OVAL! I

ovals and plan on having one myself. Sapphire though.

 

[star sparkle]

Date: 3/17/2008 6:51:59 PM
Author: FrekeChild
Ok, here's another option: Get your Ritani setting and put a big fat white sapphire in it, and then upgrade later to the diamond. At least it's another option right?

I think this is an interesting alternative.

For my e-ring, my FF and I were also on a budget similar to yours. We tossed around the different options of what we were going to do and what we'd be most comfortable with. We discussed getting a larger stone in a simple setting, then upgrading the setting at a later date. However, as I thought about it more, I realized that I didn't really like the idea of changing my setting later. I decided that I would rather have my dream setting right off the bat and upgrade the stone later. For our budget I could have gotten a stone that was over 1ct in a simple setting, but I ultimately chose a smaller stone (.82) so I could have my forever setting.

I realize that this is the opposite of how most PS gals feel, but I thought I'd throw my experience out there.

 

[decodelighted]

I like option # 1 ... but with a semi-bezel setting from Sholdt .. will try to find a pix. Think it would look AMAZING on your hand & have the protection you want with a clean, modern look. (Not a prong fan myself, though I have ''em).

Also love the eternity band option but make sure you try some on first - the size of stone you''d be looking at with a 5-6K budget might feel bulky between your fingers. You could also look into a juicy five stone band (like Kcourasle has) and pair that later with solid metal band/s.

Re: the Ritani -- I noticed the same unflattering effect on *softer* finger types + super thin bands.

 

[Independent Gal]

Wow, that ring is gorgeous, Deco!

 

[glueck]

Patient1, you are amazing! You are making the right decision. There is no reason to start life in debt. I live in switzerland, and the standard here is exchanging wedding bands. No big diamonds....Get something you LOVE. It doesnt matter what it is. for $5-6 I would get a great stone in a simple setting and reset that baby to look like your ring book on your 5 yr anniversary.

Another option is not not get a wedding band, and just wear your ering, use some wedding band budget in your setting. You can get an anniversary band at 5 years.

Hold on to that great ring book. It will give great ideas for future anniversary gifts

 

[patient1]

Once again, you ladies give the best suggestions! So I''d still like to find a bezel setting... I worry about getting one custom made -- would this be really expensive? I would at least like the option of having a bezel without having to worry about a wedding band sitting flush. decodelighted, I checked out the Sholdt site (and I haven''t been able to find retailers here in Texas) but this design reminds me a lot of the custom bezel I posted earlier. Plus the band seems more weighty... good for my *soft* fingers. (haha)

Does anyone know of any similar styles to this one they''d like to recommend??

Freke child I think the white sapphire would be really pretty, but my BF is set on getting me a diamond (and I''m okay with that, lol). I would get my dream setting also star sparkle, but because it''s a halo I don''t think I could have it resized for a larger diamond.

Thank you glueck! I still love the ritani halo setting and my ring book; I wouldn''t dream of leaving that behind. If anything, this has shown me I''d like a wider band with my setting.

Thanks again!!

 

[surfgirl]

You know, I thought some more about this and I think you should just get the best center stone you can afford now, with a plain setting that shows off the stone. That could be either a prong setting or a plain bezel setting. I say this because people''s taste changes and you might find yourself 5+ years down the road, ready to get your setting changed and you no longer find the Ritani the be all, end all, you know?

 

[choro72]

Honestly, your budget isn't too small. I'm confident that you can find a jeweler to custom make it for you. Especially if you choose to go gemstone and White Gold.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 3/18/2008 1:08:44 PM
Author: patient1
decodelighted, I checked out the Sholdt site (and I haven''t been able to find retailers here in Texas) but this design reminds me a lot of the custom bezel I posted earlier. Plus the band seems more weighty... good for my *soft* fingers. (haha) Does anyone know of any similar styles to this one they''d like to recommend??

I thought of one other place that has a lot of flush fit or "active wear" type bezel rings ... Cross Jewelers (lets see if this link works). The pictures show the rings in yellow gold but they are avail in platinum also.