Bachelorette/Lingerie Party

[MayFlowers]

So, I'm not a BIW yet. But I have a question for you all. BF's cousin, who I'm pretty close with, is getting married this June. One of her bridesmaids is throwing her bachelorette party and sent me an invitation. She wanted to make it a combined lingerie shower and bachelorette party for BF's cousin. I'm wondering if I need to buy her a lingerie gift as well? Personally, I don't really feel comfortable buying her (or anyone else for that matter) lingerie. I also feel like I have spent so much money towards this wedding, between gifts and new outfits, that I'm really not sure I will be able to afford another gift.

I'm not trying to be cheap, but I was unemployed for four months because of school and only got my first paycheck again last week. I would hate to not go just because I can't afford to bring a gift. So, is it tacky for me to show up without one?

 

[slg47]

I don't think you have to bring a gift. However, if you want, maybe get a gift jointly with someone else so it is not so much $$?

 

[Haven]

You could give her something fun like massage oil, although it sounds like you might be uncomfortable with that, as well. If you're not, then you can show up with something in hand but you don't have to spend a lot on it.

Around here the bachelorette parties are always assumed to include a fun round of naughty gifts for the bride, I'm surprised to hear that this must be a regional thing.

Do not feel bad about not spending any more money. Weddings are expensive, and your cousin should understand.

 

[wannaBMrsH]

Where I am from (Texas) all bachelorette parties include a Lingerie/Naughty Gift portion as well. There are tons of not so expensive options. I often hit up Marshalls/TJ Maxx and most recently Nordstrom Rack for super cute lingerie under $25. Another idea if you are uncomfortable is to maybe buy some cute pajama pants and a cute tank (Old Navy has cute sets from time to time for under $15). Those are really cute, comfy and who can't use another pair of pajamas?

Would you also be uncomfortable watching her open these gifts? I only ask because one lady walked out of my bachelorette and it made everyone else there uncomfortable and embarrassed my hostess. She didn't like all the underwear and edible goodies...eh.

If you decide to go and not buy a present, I would bring her a nice card and have fun with your cousin!

 

[vc10um]

Where I am from (Texas) all bachelorette parties include a Lingerie/Naughty Gift portion as well. There are tons of not so expensive options. I often hit up Marshalls/TJ Maxx and most recently Nordstrom Rack for super cute lingerie under $25. Another idea if you are uncomfortable is to maybe buy some cute pajama pants and a cute tank (Old Navy has cute sets from time to time for under $15). Those are really cute, comfy and who can't use another pair of pajamas?

Would you also be uncomfortable watching her open these gifts? I only ask because one lady walked out of my bachelorette and it made everyone else there uncomfortable and embarrassed my hostess. She didn't like all the underwear and edible goodies...eh.

If you decide to go and not buy a present, I would bring her a nice card and have fun with your cousin!

MrsH, I think that's a fantastic idea! Also, do not underestimate the power of Target! They often carry nice silky robes for under $20, and have nice PJ sets for about the same price (go for Gilligan and O'Malley over Xhiliration, especially if the bride has hips of any kind!).

Another idea might be, instead of lingerie, to get her something like an instructional massage book, or an aphrodisiac cookbook, or even something that can make her feel sexy: a new bottle of perfume, some really excellent body lotion...check TJ Maxx/Marshalls/Ross etc for options! These all come in at $10-20 and would be just as appreciated as a piece of lingerie!

 

[MayFlowers]

Thanks for all the ideas! I will be sure to check out Target and Marshalls and just see what I find. I love the idea of getting her a silk robe or the cookbook. I will have to head over to Half-Price Books to see what they have too. If I can't find anything, I may just get her a gift card to Victoria's Secret or something.

I know I won't be uncomfortable watching her open the gifts, and even if I was, I wouldn't leave the room. I guess I just feel weird buying her underwear.

 

[wannaBMrsH]

Where I am from (Texas) all bachelorette parties include a Lingerie/Naughty Gift portion as well. There are tons of not so expensive options. I often hit up Marshalls/TJ Maxx and most recently Nordstrom Rack for super cute lingerie under $25. Another idea if you are uncomfortable is to maybe buy some cute pajama pants and a cute tank (Old Navy has cute sets from time to time for under $15). Those are really cute, comfy and who can't use another pair of pajamas?

Would you also be uncomfortable watching her open these gifts? I only ask because one lady walked out of my bachelorette and it made everyone else there uncomfortable and embarrassed my hostess. She didn't like all the underwear and edible goodies...eh.

If you decide to go and not buy a present, I would bring her a nice card and have fun with your cousin!

MrsH, I think that's a fantastic idea! Also, do not underestimate the power of Target! They often carry nice silky robes for under $20, and have nice PJ sets for about the same price (go for Gilligan and O'Malley over Xhiliration, especially if the bride has hips of any kind!).

Another idea might be, instead of lingerie, to get her something like an instructional massage book, or an aphrodisiac cookbook, or even something that can make her feel sexy: a new bottle of perfume, some really excellent body lotion...check TJ Maxx/Marshalls/Ross etc for options! These all come in at $10-20 and would be just as appreciated as a piece of lingerie!

I received a really cute Gilligan and O'Malley babydoll and the best thing is that it is completely washable! Some of the other items I don't wear as often because then I have to handwash those...(How about delicate detergent? For her to wash all the unmentionables she will be getting? I think I've also seen those at Marshalls before)

I also loved the idea of a book (cookbook, massage book, etc.) and I LOVE HalfPrice Books! I once found a stack of "This Little Piggy Went to Prada" for $2 each. I bought about 8 of them I think and I always toss one into all baby shower presents.

 

[swingirl]

Ugh! When I was 19 and my bbf's maid-of-honor, I and a few friends planned what we called a "personal shower". We gave my friend pasties and crotchless underwear!! Totally inappropriate since the was pregnant but no one except her immediate family knew. Her mother just about died and it was pretty silent while she opened up the goodies. We felt horrible once we saw their expressions.

Ya, cute pj's is nice but now I find the whole idea of shopping for a bride's intimate items or night clothing as uncomfortable. So don't feel bad. It really is an odd girlie "tradition" but seems to have caught on. One idea is to buy a little bottle of that lingerie detergent or a lingerie bag. However, gifts are always optional.

 

[vc10um]

On more non-lingerie idea: a Bra ball! I do not know how I lived without one of these for so long!

This is the only one I can find at the moment, but I know they sell them at Bed, Bath, and Beyond for like $10 and you can use a 20% coupon!

 

[4ever]

On more non-lingerie idea: a Bra ball! I do not know how I lived without one of these for so long!

This is the only one I can find at the moment, but I know they sell them at Bed, Bath, and Beyond for like $10 and you can use a 20% coupon!

Ok, I opened this link and was a little disappointed. In my mind a bra ball would be like a rubberband ball - use up one bra and then just unwind the next one from your massive ball of bras.

 

[slg47]

On more non-lingerie idea: a Bra ball! I do not know how I lived without one of these for so long!

This is the only one I can find at the moment, but I know they sell them at Bed, Bath, and Beyond for like $10 and you can use a 20% coupon!

Ok, I opened this link and was a little disappointed. In my mind a bra ball would be like a rubberband ball - use up one bra and then just unwind the next one from your massive ball of bras.

hahahahahaha

do people actually wash their bras in the washer?!??!?!

 

[mary poppins]

On more non-lingerie idea: a Bra ball! I do not know how I lived without one of these for so long!

This is the only one I can find at the moment, but I know they sell them at Bed, Bath, and Beyond for like $10 and you can use a 20% coupon!

This bra ball is a great idea! I usually wash mine in a lingerie bag, but this is even better for holding shape and preventing stretching. I'm going to look for this next time I'm at Bed Bath & Beyond.

The bridal shower I'm attending this summer will have a personal component. I'm not into giving underwear and lingerie, either. Thanks for the great suggestions, ladies!

 

[MayFlowers]

Thanks again everyone for the suggestions! I will have to go check out Bed Bath and Beyond too this week. I just love those 20% coupons!

I called the bride's mother this week and asked her for ideas. She said that I really didn't need to get her something if I didn't want to since I already got her a gift at the shower and for the wedding. She said that they put the "lingerie shower" part on the invitation in case people wanted to bring gifts. I'm still going to look for something, but if I don't find anything, I'm not going to worry too much about it.

 

[Autumnovember]

I don't think any gift is necessary. You already bought her a shower gift, thats more than enough in my opinion. I'm really hoping nobody spends any additional money on gifts for my bach party.

I'd be completely mortified if people bought me lingerie (kinda like my friend was today at her bridal shower) and quite honestly, I would return it...

 

[charbie]

at my friend's bach party we did the same thing. she is quite mortified by any talk about sex (didn't have sex until marriage), but she was totally open for the lingerie gifting since we all knew she would never in a million years buy herself any sexy stuff. we named all of the outfits as they were opened, the names were then put into a list, and her husband got to pick from the list which outfit he wanted her to wear on any given day of the honeymoon. i got her lingerie at tjmaxx for ~$15- it was super cute and super fun. enjoy!!!! it's supposed to be a bit naughty!