Baby Wipes Competition! Ha! And something personal...

[lizzyann]

So my friend told me that her and her husband have a competition to see who can use the least amount of wipes to clean up their baby after he poops!

What?!!! I am actually on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. I go thru as many wipes as possible so that I don''t end up touching poop or leaving anything behind!!! My hubby always makes wisecracks about how I use so many, but I don''t care!

On a side note, this just made me think of something personal that I''d like to share about myself. I apologize in advance if you think that what I am about to reveal is embarrassing or gross, but it is just something that I am known for.... I thoroughly enjoy a good poop story. I know, I know, it sounds stupid and gross. But all of my friends know that nothing can make me laugh more than a good poop story. I enjoy adult poop stories, kid poop stories, it doesn''t matter. I don''t discriminate. One time my poor husband was carrying my son from his bedroom to the bathroom for his bath and my son pooped everywhere - on my hubby, on the floor, on the sink. I was completely frozen. My hubby kept yelling at me for a towel and I just stood there paralyzed till I snapped out of it! My hubby now tells everyone not to call me in if there is an emergency because I''ll just stand there with a dumb look on my face and not do anything!

Anyways, thought I''d share that I am a freak and this kind of topic makes me laugh in general. Anyone else find a good laugh on poop stories?

 

[ponder]

I''ll admit it, I laughed.

No good poop stories of my own, but my boss had one worth sharing....

It is my boss''s job to bathe, dress, and give the bed time story before bedtime. One night his son (4 years old) complained that he never gets to get out of the tub and dressed first. So my boss gets both kids out of the tub (you can''t leave the one year old in there by herself) and proceeds to dress his son. As he is dressing his son, he turns to see his daughter trotting about naked in the middle of taking a poop. Before it drops to the carpet, he instinctively reaches out and catches the poop. He figures it was easier than cleaning the carpet, but something he never imagined that he would ever do.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

My kid has totally pooped (and peed) on the floor. I have never attempted to catch it...ewwww...The grossest was a year or so ago. She realized she could take her diaper off herself which is a tragic thing, let me tell ya. We have a ball pit (think we have over 750 balls) and she was playing and she got really quiet. I didn''t think anything about it but when I finally looked over her diaper was off and poop was everywhere. The walls, balls, her hands...it was a truly disgusting moment in my life.

I use lots of wipes. That is a competition I don''t want to be in!

 

[lizzyann]

Date: 6/13/2010 9:24:37 PM
Author: ponder
I''ll admit it, I laughed.


No good poop stories of my own, but my boss had one worth sharing....


It is my boss''s job to bathe, dress, and give the bed time story before bedtime. One night his son (4 years old) complained that he never gets to get out of the tub and dressed first. So my boss gets both kids out of the tub (you can''t leave the one year old in there by herself) and proceeds to dress his son. As he is dressing his son, he turns to see his daughter trotting about naked in the middle of taking a poop. Before it drops to the carpet, he instinctively reaches out and catches the poop. He figures it was easier than cleaning the carpet, but something he never imagined that he would ever do.

OMG!! Ha ha ha I can''t imagine catching poop! But I guess it beats scrubbing your carpet! Thanks for sharing Ponder. I thought I was the only one who got a kick out of poop stories!

 

[lizzyann]

Date: 6/13/2010 10:15:38 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
My kid has totally pooped (and peed) on the floor. I have never attempted to catch it...ewwww...The grossest was a year or so ago. She realized she could take her diaper off herself which is a tragic thing, let me tell ya. We have a ball pit (think we have over 750 balls) and she was playing and she got really quiet. I didn''t think anything about it but when I finally looked over her diaper was off and poop was everywhere. The walls, balls, her hands...it was a truly disgusting moment in my life.


I use lots of wipes. That is a competition I don''t want to be in!

Oh my goodness Tacori! Poops in a ball pit! Holy crap (literally!). Did you clean the balls or just get rid of them? How old was Tessa when she started taking off her diaper? My son is 13 months now, that day should be interesting!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

DH will literally use an entire roll of paper towel, rubber gloves and 6 trash bags to clean up one little log of cat poop. Me? As long as it''s not warm and I don''t have to touch it with my bare hands I''m ok using a plastic bag or kleenex to pick it up. Guess who will be changing the poopy diapers in my house?? The man will bankrupt us in wipes alone!

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 6/14/2010 2:57:01 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
DH will literally use an entire roll of paper towel, rubber gloves and 6 trash bags to clean up one little log of cat poop. Me? As long as it''s not warm and I don''t have to touch it with my bare hands I''m ok using a plastic bag or kleenex to pick it up. Guess who will be changing the poopy diapers in my house?? The man will bankrupt us in wipes alone!

You see, this is one of the reasons DH and I aren''t having children. I would be just like HH''s hubby and we couldn''t afford all those baby wipes! LOL!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

It runs in his family. His sister must have stock in Desitin because she insists on applying a thick coat with EVERY diaper change!

 

[fieryred33143]

We haven''t had any poop accidents since she was a newborn. It was about midnight and I was changing her diaper. She was 2 days old (our first night home). I have no flipping idea why I decided to remove the diaper (it was just a wet diaper) without putting a pad down first

. Meconium poop all on my side of the bed

. FI was barely awake at the time and he''s jumping up and down going what do we do? what do we do? And I''m yelling, get a pad! Meanwhile all this poop is just pouring out and it wouldn''t stop. So much for such a tiny person. So we get that squared away, change the sheets, and everyone goes back to bed.

3am she wakes up and I did it again. I changed the darn diaper without putting a pad down and poop was everywhere. I cried. FI is telling me he doesn''t understand how I could have done it again and I''m telling him to just shut up.

The saddest part was that my poor mother had cleaned our room before we came home. She put new sheets and wiped everything down (even rearranged furniture and put out our brand new comforter set). The next morning she came in the room to bring me breakfast and she finds two fitted sheets on the floor with poop stains and FI and I were sleeping on the mattress with no sheets

I also use a lot of wipes. But I''m sorry...formula and food poop is disgusting.

 

[Dancing Fire]

i use 2 wipes for poops.

a poops story....when my eldest daughter was teething she pooped (the runny type) all over me.

 

[diamondringlover]

I always use a bunch of wipes, dont like getting poo on my hands

 

[Mara]

HH i use a whole roll of TP as well but I am all about wipe efficiency with J. I use usually just one for pee..and 2 for poo.

I don''t even care if poop touches my hands. Somehow it''s diff when it''s his! Though he had his first solid poop today and I def was more grossed out as it was like ''human poop'' -- def not looking fwd to that continuing!!

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 6/14/2010 7:03:20 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
i use 2 wipes for poops.

a poops story....when my eldest daughter was teething she pooped (the runny type) all over me.

This is really mean to admit DF but poop all over the dad stories are the absolute best.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I would have to look back in the mommy thread to remember. I want to say it was a year ago (b/c it was warm out) so 1.5 years old or so. We used to let her nap in just a t-shirt and diaper and that''s when we really realized she could take it off. Luckily she only peed the bed a few times (never pooped). Then it turned into a game so we had to keep pants on her at all times. She only recently learned how to take her pants off

Thankfully she seems over the novelty of taking off her diaper. Now she is into smelling them. I am following Freud''s lead and praise her instead of embarrass her about it.

I sanitized the balls/pit. They cost too much to throw away and luckily they are plastic so I felt confident they could get clean.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 6/14/2010 7:15:33 PM
Author: fiery

Date: 6/14/2010 7:03:20 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
i use 2 wipes for poops.

a poops story....when my eldest daughter was teething she pooped (the runny type) all over me.

This is really mean to admit DF but poop all over the dad stories are the absolute best.

even after 22 yrs i still remind her of that incident. i''ve changed more diapers then most of the mommies here.

 

[lizzyann]

Date: 6/14/2010 2:57:01 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
DH will literally use an entire roll of paper towel, rubber gloves and 6 trash bags to clean up one little log of cat poop. Me? As long as it''s not warm and I don''t have to touch it with my bare hands I''m ok using a plastic bag or kleenex to pick it up. Guess who will be changing the poopy diapers in my house?? The man will bankrupt us in wipes alone!

HH, I also am in charge of most diapers as I am a SAHM, but when my hubby is home in the evening, I only let him change pee diapers. I feel he doesn''t change poopy diapers to my high standards! Ha! He takes forever and my son is usually yelling his head off. I think my hubby secretly does it on purpose so he gets out of changing poopy diapers though!

 

[lizzyann]

Date: 6/14/2010 5:15:15 PM
Author: fiery
We haven''t had any poop accidents since she was a newborn. It was about midnight and I was changing her diaper. She was 2 days old (our first night home). I have no flipping idea why I decided to remove the diaper (it was just a wet diaper) without putting a pad down first

. Meconium poop all on my side of the bed

. FI was barely awake at the time and he''s jumping up and down going what do we do? what do we do? And I''m yelling, get a pad! Meanwhile all this poop is just pouring out and it wouldn''t stop. So much for such a tiny person. So we get that squared away, change the sheets, and everyone goes back to bed.


3am she wakes up and I did it again. I changed the darn diaper without putting a pad down and poop was everywhere. I cried. FI is telling me he doesn''t understand how I could have done it again and I''m telling him to just shut up.


The saddest part was that my poor mother had cleaned our room before we came home. She put new sheets and wiped everything down (even rearranged furniture and put out our brand new comforter set). The next morning she came in the room to bring me breakfast and she finds two fitted sheets on the floor with poop stains and FI and I were sleeping on the mattress with no sheets

I also use a lot of wipes. But I''m sorry...formula and food poop is disgusting.

Oh man Fiery!!! That totally sucks! Can you laugh about that night now though?!

When my son was little, he would literally have the projectile poops! I''m sure you all know what I''m talking about too, don''t ya? Especially, the breastmilk wet projectile poops? One time I was changing just a pee diaper...I opened up his diaper...then all of a sudden my DS let loose something fierce and the poops projected all the way over to the basket that I have on the side of his changing table! It was NUTS!!! I actually started laughing. I couldn''t contain myself. I know it was just a terrible mess, but come on...that is just hilarious!

 

[lizzyann]

Date: 6/14/2010 7:09:56 PM
Author: Mara
HH i use a whole roll of TP as well but I am all about wipe efficiency with J. I use usually just one for pee..and 2 for poo.


I don''t even care if poop touches my hands. Somehow it''s diff when it''s his! Though he had his first solid poop today and I def was more grossed out as it was like ''human poop'' -- def not looking fwd to that continuing!!

Wow Mara! Two for poop! That''s got to be a record.

I found I used more wipes as my son started eating solid food.

 

[lizzyann]

Date: 6/14/2010 7:32:06 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I would have to look back in the mommy thread to remember. I want to say it was a year ago (b/c it was warm out) so 1.5 years old or so. We used to let her nap in just a t-shirt and diaper and that''s when we really realized she could take it off. Luckily she only peed the bed a few times (never pooped). Then it turned into a game so we had to keep pants on her at all times. She only recently learned how to take her pants off

Thankfully she seems over the novelty of taking off her diaper. Now she is into smelling them. I am following Freud''s lead and praise her instead of embarrass her about it.


I sanitized the balls/pit. They cost too much to throw away and luckily they are plastic so I felt confident they could get clean.

Tacori, I laughed out loud when you said she is into smelling them now! HA!!

 

[lizzyann]

Date: 6/14/2010 7:03:20 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
i use 2 wipes for poops.


a poops story....when my eldest daughter was teething she pooped (the runny type) all over me.

ANother two wipes for poops. You guys deserve an eco award!

I probably use like 8!

 

[lizzyann]

Another kind of funny story is that my son ate part of the label off of the side of my Poland Spring bottle the other day. I know, I know...I''m a bad mother. Anyways, I''d like to mention that my hubby is 100% Polish, so my son is half Polish. Well I changed his poopy diaper later that day and what did I find? Oh just the word "Poland" amidst his poops!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 6/14/2010 8:00:31 PM
Author: lizzyann01

Date: 6/14/2010 7:32:06 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

I would have to look back in the mommy thread to remember. I want to say it was a year ago (b/c it was warm out) so 1.5 years old or so. We used to let her nap in just a t-shirt and diaper and that''s when we really realized she could take it off. Luckily she only peed the bed a few times (never pooped). Then it turned into a game so we had to keep pants on her at all times. She only recently learned how to take her pants off

Thankfully she seems over the novelty of taking off her diaper. Now she is into smelling them. I am following Freud''s lead and praise her instead of embarrass her about it.



I sanitized the balls/pit. They cost too much to throw away and luckily they are plastic so I felt confident they could get clean.

Tacori, I laughed out loud when you said she is into smelling them now! HA!!

I guess it is normal to be fascinated. There is a reason Freud had an "anal" stage.

Once I was telling my mom friends IRL it wasn''t that uncommon! One has a 5 year old that still HAS to show them her poop before she flushes. Guess they are proud what there body produces.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Oh! I have another story for you guys!!! My little brother Henry and I are 13 years apart so I baby sat him a ton when he was little. He was at the stage where he was potty trained but just barely learning how to wipe...you know the yelling "I''m ready for you to wipe my butt" stage? Well one night I was baby sitting him and I had a bf over. Henry was in bed and the bf and I were making out in the living room. Henry had gotten up to go to the bathroom so I knew he was up but was not expecting what happened next. Instead of calling me to come and take care of him, he decided to do it himself...and then bring the tp to the living room to show us. "Look sissy, I wiped my OWN butt!"

Mood killer for sure...

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 6/14/2010 9:00:31 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Oh! I have another story for you guys!!! My little brother Henry and I are 13 years apart so I baby sat him a ton when he was little. He was at the stage where he was potty trained but just barely learning how to wipe...you know the yelling ''I''m ready for you to wipe my butt'' stage? Well one night I was baby sitting him and I had a bf over. Henry was in bed and the bf and I were making out in the living room. Henry had gotten up to go to the bathroom so I knew he was up but was not expecting what happened next. Instead of calling me to come and take care of him, he decided to do it himself...and then bring the tp to the living room to show us. ''Look sissy, I wiped my OWN butt!''

Mood killer for sure...

BWAHAHAHA! Go Henry!

I usually only need two wipes unless it is a crazy big poop, but Micah hardly ever does that. He''s never had a blowout either, at least not for me - he did for my MIL the first week he was home.

I don''t have a poop story yet, but I do have a pee story. Once I was changing Micah and he was crying - flipping out, really - and so DH laid down with his head next to Micah''s and was talking to him, trying to distract him. I had barely gotten the new diaper open, it was halfway on, when he peed a huge arc over his head - and directly into DH''s mouth. I thought I was going to hurt myself laughing, and as he ran away to the bathroom I yelled, "IT''S IN MY MOUTH!" You know...like that dumb bachelor party commercial where the three guys have an orca in the SUV with him and he sprays out the blowhole all over the car. Most hilarious thing EVER.

 

[Mara]

lol the stories are hilarious...!!

when we took J in for his 2 week follow up they give you that questionnaire at the dr''s office ... things like ''do you put your child on their back to sleep''... ''do you ever leave them on the bed alone''... ''are you breastfeeding'' etc... and one of the Q''s was something along the lines of asking if you have a boy and if so does the arc of urine ''range'' equal something like 12". we were like WHAT?? but i didn''t want to answer no and have him somehow be deficient, so i said yes hhaha. he did have a pretty good range, he peed in his own mouth once!!

 

[Clairitek]

I had to stop reading the stories in this thread at one point this morning because I was starting to laugh out loud in my very quiet office. I didn''t want to explain to my cubemate that I was snorting at poop stories. Apparently I love a good poop story as well! The projectile poop one was especially entertaining and horrifying all at the same time. I was doing this

at the thought of a toddler pooping in a ball pit though! What a mess to clean up! Glad its all sanitized and she keeps her diaper on now!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 6/14/2010 9:00:31 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Oh! I have another story for you guys!!! My little brother Henry and I are 13 years apart so I baby sat him a ton when he was little. He was at the stage where he was potty trained but just barely learning how to wipe...you know the yelling ''I''m ready for you to wipe my butt'' stage? Well one night I was baby sitting him and I had a bf over. Henry was in bed and the bf and I were making out in the living room. Henry had gotten up to go to the bathroom so I knew he was up but was not expecting what happened next. Instead of calling me to come and take care of him, he decided to do it himself...and then bring the tp to the living room to show us. ''Look sissy, I wiped my OWN butt!''

Mood killer for sure...

did he learnt something?

 

[lizzyann]

Ok so I just left the Hangout forum laughing hysterically to the Mens Underwear thread. And I thought of another poop story. It is about myself so I''d like to give you a little info about myself first to set the tone for the story. I am a girly girl, high maintenance, non nature loving, classic, proper kind of gal. I hate camping, just not my kind of vaca. When I leave the house, I like to look nice, put together, and tend to be a fashionista. Hard to do now because I am a SAHM, but when I''m not wearing sweat pants and a pony tail at home, I like to glam it up a bit.

My friends think it is hilarious that I swear because they don''t expect it out of me. But I do swear A LOT! I''m not proud of it, but I think my career as a Buyer led me to this. My friends also think it is hilarious that I love poop stories because it''s such an unclassy topic of conversation. But for some reason, when I''m around, conversation seems to always go back to poop. Anyways, my friends have no problem sharing their own poop stories with me because they know I will laugh hysterically!!!

So on to the poop story....about two years ago....my DH and I went to a Japanese Tapanake restaurant near UMASS Amherst, which is about 45mins to an hour from my house. I''m all done up....heels, LV purse, Banana Republic outfit, all blinged out. Feeling pretty good about myself. Now from experience, this kind of food always bothers my stomach. But I ate, we were headed home, and no belly ache. We get on the highway. We are just about to pass an exit, and my DH asks me if I want to stop because there won''t be another exit for another 20 mins. I decide not to stop because my stomach isn''t hurting. Then about 5 minutes after we pass the exit, my stomach starts to rumble something fierce. Like that terrible HOLY CRAP rumble. I tell my hubby to be quiet and shut the radio off so I can try to concentrate so that I can make it to the next exit. I tried for like 5 minutes and knew that I wasn''t going to make it. On a sidenote, we had just bought a brand new BMW so there was no way in hell I was going to let loose in there!!! So I look at my DH and say "pull over". I then run out of the car, jump over the guard rail on the highway, run into the woods, and let loose! Oh yeah, heels and all, pooping on the side of the highway

I walk back to the car, over the guard rail again, and into the car. At first my DH and I were quiet. Then I just started busting out laughing because I knew this was going to be one poop story that would not be forgotten!!!!

 

[lizzyann]

Date: 6/14/2010 9:00:31 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Oh! I have another story for you guys!!! My little brother Henry and I are 13 years apart so I baby sat him a ton when he was little. He was at the stage where he was potty trained but just barely learning how to wipe...you know the yelling ''I''m ready for you to wipe my butt'' stage? Well one night I was baby sitting him and I had a bf over. Henry was in bed and the bf and I were making out in the living room. Henry had gotten up to go to the bathroom so I knew he was up but was not expecting what happened next. Instead of calling me to come and take care of him, he decided to do it himself...and then bring the tp to the living room to show us. ''Look sissy, I wiped my OWN butt!''


Mood killer for sure...

Bwahahahaha HH that is hilarious! Were you mortified at the time?!!! I''m sure Henry must LOVE to hear that story now!!!

 

[lizzyann]

Date: 6/14/2010 11:19:20 PM
Author: Mara
lol the stories are hilarious...!!


when we took J in for his 2 week follow up they give you that questionnaire at the dr''s office ... things like ''do you put your child on their back to sleep''... ''do you ever leave them on the bed alone''... ''are you breastfeeding'' etc... and one of the Q''s was something along the lines of asking if you have a boy and if so does the arc of urine ''range'' equal something like 12''. we were like WHAT?? but i didn''t want to answer no and have him somehow be deficient, so i said yes hhaha. he did have a pretty good range, he peed in his own mouth once!!

Mara, OMG he peed in his own mouth! He must have pretty good range for sure then! It is funny that his Dr''s office asked about the arc of urine range!

My sons Dr. never asked me that one!!! I think I would have lol''d if she had!!!!