At what point in the custom/correction process do u settle?

[ame]

I am a tiny bit frustrated and do feel like I am settling. My Flyer band came with a few stones that had chips/cracks, whatever, and they were taken care of. However, when the ring came back, there were new issues, stones off center/not set level as they were prior to that, rougher prongs, etc. It's at the point now after several returns that unless we recast it, which costs time and money and risks damage to the now ame-approved stones, they cannot really fix things like recentering or raising the stones back where they were because the prongs are so overworked now that theyll just snap right off and they are TINY...So they are only really able to handle the rough prongs, despite the fact that these are really more along the lines of workmanship issues because they came that way, and the fixes came back that way. The only "positive" to that, is that it's under a warranty and if anything happens, Flyer will fix it. But I am a little frustrated that we now just have to wait for what is likely to eventually happen as the off center stone is at the edge and the girdle is exposed. So instead of fixing it in advance, we have to wait to fix it after something happens. I mean, I am not really feeling like I am ABLE to say "yea no I want it fixed" because if I do, then there's costs, there is more waiting. And there's risk to damage to the stones again. It's like a never ending cycle.

I know I am RIDICULOUSLY anal retentive, but I am also so damn sick of sending things back for tweaks and fixes that I feel the ring should not have arrived with in the first place. I also know that my standards are essentially impossible for any craftsman in this day and age to meet, because most DO NOT CARE. If I hear "it's gorgeous, wear and enjoy it" when it's not perfect one more time you will surely see me on the news going postal. If it's not perfect, I cannot find it gorgeous OR enjoy it because ALL I SEE when I look at it is the problems.

So I am again SETTLING for imperfect on another very expensive item I waited a ridiculous period of time for. I am going to send my Vatche back to fix a prong that came imperfect and keeps snagging things and I finally am at the breaking point with that since I want to be able to wear gloves this winter and not risk frostbite to wear my rings.

Ok that was more of a vent. I definitely do not want to bash the jeweler or Flyer because dealing with me is probably a migraine and a half. All of my requirements and requests and all.

But do you find that you are forced to settle sometimes and sometimes FAR more often than you are comfortable with?

 

[kenny]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

I'm a perfectionist too and this is a major reason I have not set some of my stones.

 

[Blue-Seeker]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

But do you find that you are forced to settle sometimes and sometimes FAR more often than you are comfortable with?

Yes, in answer to your question. I am sorry your new rings are still not right, ame. The issues you are having would bug me, too.

 

[Laila619]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

I'd keep sending it back over and over until it was right.

ETA: Or if I no longer had faith in them that it would be right, I'd get my money back and start over.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

Ame I have not gone custom and have been happy with what I have bought, so I can't really comment on this specific question. BUT something I like to do when I am trying to decide if I am being cray cray or not is to ask "How would X feel about this?" I choose someone whom I respect and think is level headed for my comparison person. If I think X would feel fine about the situation, then I know I am being crazy and it is time to give myself some therapy. I think by posting this question you are sort of trying to get a feel for who your "person X" might be! We get a lot of those questions here, as you know. People want a bench mark.

ETA:

I know I am RIDICULOUSLY anal retentive, but I am also so damn sick of sending things back for tweaks and fixes that I feel the ring should not have arrived with in the first place. I also know that my standards are essentially impossible for any craftsman in this day and age to meet, because most DO NOT CARE. If I hear "it's gorgeous, wear and enjoy it" when it's not perfect one more time you will surely see me on the news going postal. If it's not perfect, I cannot find it gorgeous OR enjoy it because ALL I SEE when I look at it is the problems.

I do think you know it is you, not them. And knowing yourself is good. Maybe wearing this style of jewelery is not for you? Plain bands, perhaps other types of settings like semi-bezels or another style will be easier to accept?

 

[ame]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

I know myself and what I expect when I pay for something and I state it EXTREMELY clearly up front and give them the chance to say "we cannot satisfy this requirement, please go away" and I don't honestly think it is me for the most part. I feel like knowing myself and my requirements and stating them as warning is me saying "hey I know I am hard to please, but please give me your best". I feel if anything is "my fault", it's that I know what I like and don't like and what I expect, and then I am disappointed and frustrated. In fact, I am at the point now with projects that I am going into it expecting to be disappointed, and then when it comes back not to my standards, Im not surprised, and yet still disappointed, probably more so because I was right. I think it's "them" (aka the bench), that their skills aren't what they were or were just never that great, and that they do not care that they cannot do their best work, or do not want to, and they want me to just accept that because everyone else just settles for it and doesn't challenge them. Its actually made me want to go to bench school so I can do it for myself since I am probably the only one who "gets it". Am I wrong that I expect perfection from ANYTHING I buy, and especially things like this? This was only partially custom. It was a stock item I had them make with 3 less stones. My Vatche was also stock but because they build it to your stone, it's deemed "custom".

This band has been sent back now I think 5 or 6 times. We've practically paid for two more rings in shipping costs alone. And at this point, I honestly firmly believe that there is not a single brand or single craftsman in existence that can make something to my standards--uniformity, polish, everything level, etc. I know being a detail oriented designer myself makes me even more detail oriented than the majority of people. I think I should just sell my stuff to people who don't care as much about quality workmanship as I do, and go with a tattoo or a plain band or something. If you're going to charge $2200 for a PLAIN platinum setting, that damn thing better be f'ing perfect. No flaws. No nothing. And on the first go around.

I think Frankie got a lot of unwarranted crap for what happened when she got her settings redone. We aren't wearing it. We can't see all the issues on camera, as it doesn't always translate on camera. But I feel like a lot of people see this thread, or if I would poitn out issues with my items, and roll eyes and scoff that I am being too picky or pretend to not see what it is to shut me up, much like the response of the bench jewelers who aren't interested in satisfying the more picky customers because the majority of people they do work for couldn't tell anyway. Fine, so then do crappy work for those people. But the ones who you are repeatedly warned about--DO THE BEST, or find the best if you can't do it.

But I am at the end now, and am forced again to settle on imperfect. And the imperfection that is "dangerous" has to be worn facing against a plain band to avoid any extra damage meaning I have to look at it all the time!

 

[ame]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

I am also gonna add this:

I am EXTREMELY grateful to have what I have. I don't want for any other jewelry really except maybe a different style plain band that goes with stuff more (is less round in profile). I have more than I even need or want or wear. My wedding set is EXTREMELY important to me, which is fascinating because I generally don't find too many material items to be that important, besides my phone which I have an unnatural romance with.

I am SICK of wasting money, and wasting time, waiting on items to be made that go back multiple times, and I would be less sick of waiting if it was done right the first time, and not me waiting for fixes every time.

 

[yssie]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

I guess the lesson to be learnt from frankie's journey is that if you are nitpicky enough, and you're willing to put enough money into it, and you pick the perfect vendor, you *can* achieve essentially loupe-clean work.

I'll be crass and suggest that you do, like many of us, have very high expectations, and there's nothing wrontg with that but I think this might be a situation wherein you're just going to have to pony up more up-front to have those expecations met

 

[decodelighted]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

RIng. Dysmorphic. Disorder. If no one can meet your standards, then *you* are the problem. Look into having your noggin recalibrated until IT meets even reasonable standards.

 

[decodelighted]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

at this point, I honestly firmly believe that there is not a single brand or single craftsman in existence that can make something to my standards--uniformity, polish, everything level, etc.

You've answered your own question here.

I think I should just sell my stuff to people who don't care as much about quality workmanship as I do, and go with a tattoo

If you go this path, for god sake, warn the tattoo artist.

 

[Laila619]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

Ame, I think it's the style of the Flyer band...your band has the cutdown style of pave, right? Where the prongs make like tire treads for lack of a better phrase? That kind of band is hard to get perfect. I think maybe you should consider switching styles. Bead or channel set might be easier to get right.

 

[Circe]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

at this point, I honestly firmly believe that there is not a single brand or single craftsman in existence that can make something to my standards--uniformity, polish, everything level, etc.

You've answered your own question here.

Gotta say, I'm with Deco on this. I have high standards for my jewelry, but ... I'm also friends with a lot of jewelers. They're awesomely qualified, they work for Cartier and Harry Winston, and their work is still not meant to be viewed under a microscope! They're jewelers, not miniaturists, and they're only human: while their internal standards may be sky-high, the fact of the matter is they work according to their pay-scale. The companies that pay them more get more of their time and attention. You could, despite your doubts, probably hire somebody who makes things to your standards - there are still masters of their craft out there. Thing is, they charge accordingly.

Bottom line: I would not like it if my custom piece was not eye-clean: I would not care if there were asymmetry under 20X. That way lies obsessive compulsive disorder.

 

[ame]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

So I am crazy then, fabulous. Thank all of you professional psychiatrists for your assessments.

For the record: this ring cost more than my setting from Vatche did. It cost more than a similar ring from Tiffanys and Kwiat did. There was NO cheaping out.

Since I apparently need to defend this situation for everyone who thinks I selected an unwise setting style (I actually did a LOT of research, AND had a bead set band prior to this--that was just as secure as this cutdown option is) and have "ring dysmorphia", this ring was initially returned a week after receipt because three stones arrived from the initial ordered item already chipped and cracked, and I did not need a loupe to see that and something I doubt any of you would be willing to accept. No one that saw it needed a loupe, even my husband. I didn't even need to point out which ones, because anyone who looked at it could see it clear as day. I didn't loupe it for 5 days because I did not want to see that I was correct. We sent it back for those three to be replaced and for the prongs that were rough to be smoothed. The initial metalwork was FINE. Not loupe perfect, and I don't ever state that I expected the metal work on this ring to BE loupe perfect, not anywhere on this entire thread. So you put those words in my mouth. That was the first return.

The second was because there were still rough prongs, and one of the stones had not been replaced that was cracked in the table.

The third was because that replaced stone came back worse than the original, with a major gash in the stone in the table, again, none of these items were requiring a loupe to see. The prongs were also even rougher.

The fourth had that stone replaced, plus another that was not asked for was replaced, and was replaced off center leaving a girdle exposed and a stone next to the one actually requesting replacement was jammed into the ring/the prongs were lifted up and really rough.

This last time we sent it to have the off center issue address, prong roughness fixed and the jammed down stone repaired somehow/prongs somehow altered to prevent snags.

My issue is that I have sent this thing back 5 times, and the last time it came back in worse shape than it had been. I don't need a loupe to see or feel any of these issues. So why are you saying that I ever in this thread address loupe perfect? I have stated such a thing in other threads, yes.

But whatever. I am "crazy" and need my head fixed. Whatever.

Forget it.

 

[rubybeth]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

This last time we sent it to have the off center issue address, prong roughness fixed and the jammed down stone repaired somehow/prongs somehow altered to prevent snags.

My issue is that I have sent this thing back 5 times, and the last time it came back in worse shape than it had been. I don't need a loupe to see or feel any of these issues. So why are you saying that I ever in this thread address loupe perfect? I have stated such a thing in other threads, yes.

But whatever. I am "crazy" and need my head fixed. Whatever.

Forget it.

For what it's worth, I don't think you're crazy at all. I don't think it's ridiculous at all to expect that an item have unscratched diamonds or prongs that don't snag. Those are pretty basic requirements, actually.

I just bought a used ring, a very simple 14k white gold 7 stone 2mm band, each stone with its own 4 prongs. I got it in the mail today and louped it with my 30x, and noticed one diamond has a little chip and one prong is a little worn down. These are very fixable, and I have a benchman I trust to fix it. It's not perfect, BUT I paid $80 for this ring, and it's not going to cost me much to replace a melee stone. It will take a short trip and I'll pick it up in probably 3 days. I can't imagine having so many issues with your WEDDING ring, which is laden with emotions, having to send it away so many times on your own dime. I didn't like sending my e-ring back to Whiteflash to have it sized after we'd been married 6 MONTHS because I didn't want to part with it.

I think it's silly that you have to wait for the inevitable something bad to happen before they will fix it or replace it. I would probably have stopped dealing with them after sending it back TWICE, and gone with a different vendor.

 

[yssie]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

I'm having a difficult time managing my own expectations right now, so I know where you're coming from. Did I have little gripes about my old settings? Sure. The insides weren't well polished, the prongs weren't perfectly symmetric... but they also cost a third - or less - of this new one. My inner perfectionist has *very* high expectations for my new ring, and yeah, fair or not, I'll be really disappointed if it doesn't live up to them.

I do, however, have the peace of mind of having no reason not to believe that VC *can* meet my expectations, thanks to frankie's thread, so there's that!

 

[Circe]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

So I am crazy then, fabulous. Thank all of you professional psychiatrists for your assessments.

For the record: this ring cost more than my setting from Vatche did. It cost more than a similar ring from Tiffanys and Kwiat did. There was NO cheaping out.

Since I apparently need to defend this situation for everyone who thinks I selected an unwise setting style (I actually did a LOT of research, AND had a bead set band prior to this--that was just as secure as this cutdown option is) and have "ring dysmorphia", this ring was initially returned a week after receipt because three stones arrived from the initial ordered item already chipped and cracked, and I did not need a loupe to see that and something I doubt any of you would be willing to accept. No one that saw it needed a loupe, even my husband. I didn't even need to point out which ones, because anyone who looked at it could see it clear as day. I didn't loupe it for 5 days because I did not want to see that I was correct. We sent it back for those three to be replaced and for the prongs that were rough to be smoothed. The initial metalwork was FINE. Not loupe perfect, and I don't ever state that I expected the metal work on this ring to BE loupe perfect, not anywhere on this entire thread. So you put those words in my mouth. That was the first return.

The second was because there were still rough prongs, and one of the stones had not been replaced that was cracked in the table.

The third was because that replaced stone came back worse than the original, with a major gash in the stone in the table, again, none of these items were requiring a loupe to see. The prongs were also even rougher.

The fourth had that stone replaced, plus another that was not asked for was replaced, and was replaced off center leaving a girdle exposed and a stone next to the one actually requesting replacement was jammed into the ring/the prongs were lifted up and really rough.

This last time we sent it to have the off center issue address, prong roughness fixed and the jammed down stone repaired somehow/prongs somehow altered to prevent snags.

My issue is that I have sent this thing back 5 times, and the last time it came back in worse shape than it had been. I don't need a loupe to see or feel any of these issues. So why are you saying that I ever in this thread address loupe perfect? I have stated such a thing in other threads, yes.

But whatever. I am "crazy" and need my head fixed. Whatever.

Forget it.

Dude ... I haven't said you're crazy, but I am a little concerned about the fact that you're getting this het up over the responses you're getting. NOT, btw, to the issues with your ring, which most people haven't denied, but to your statement that no jeweler, anywhere, could ever meet your standards. If you engage in hyperbole, yes, you're going to get broad statements in response!

But to go back to the original question of where I'd draw the line? HERE. When my rings acquired the ability to make me this upset, I would throw my hands in the air, demand a refund and/or to talk to whomever was in charge, and get something that was better than eye-clean: mind-clean.

 

[yssie]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

But to go back to the original question of where I'd draw the line? HERE. When my rings acquired the ability to make me this upset, I would throw my hands in the air, demand a refund and/or to talk to whomever was in charge, and get something that was better than eye-clean: mind-clean.

Perfectly said, as usual

 

[ame]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

Which is why it's still in Flyer's possession, after sending it back last week for these fixes. They don't want to keep messing with prongs, though on the one end they hadn't til this last time, which is why I think it shouldbe fine to fix. So I am frustrated that I am effectively being told to live with it, when it was not like that before, and I just want it fixed to be how it was. Which surely will invite new things.

I cannot get a refund, and I cannot just walk away from this without losing several thousand dollars. I DON'T want to keep throwing money at this stuff. I want what I paid for.

 

[distracts]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

I agree that unevenly set stones should be fixed. That would bother me every time I looked at it.

(One time I THOUGHT the pave on my engagement ring was uneven and I'd just never noticed it before... I was so upset! ... turns out it was a trick of the light! On the other hand, the prongs on the center stone have always been a little wonky and that's never bothered me.)

 

[mrs jam]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

Go with Mark Morrell. His work is truly perfect. I am extremely picky about workmanship and examine my rings under a 10x loupe, and there are no flaws to be seen. Same thing with my Movado half-bezel. Perfection. I don't believe in settling for less than excellent workmanship in my luxury goods. You are NOT crazy or being nitpicky. What you have described is unacceptable.

 

[Laila619]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

Ame, I don't think you're crazy at all. Just keep telling them it's not acceptable. Also, why are you paying these shipping costs? I would think the jewelry store should cover that since it's a defective piece.

 

[ame]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

Im not, the jeweler is.

And regarding MWM: his price for what I asked for was several thousand above what i paid for this, plus he would not build it to my request. It was not wide enough for him to work on it.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

Ame, a lot of us share your desire to have our jewelry very well made. I would not have been as patient as you, though. After two send backs, I would have demanded my money back. I'd be writing a letter to Martin Flyer now telling them of the problems and that you want a refund. Can you show us a picture of a similar ring? I am curious what it looks like.

Honestly, I learned something from Frankie. I initially thought she was a little obsessive (my apologies, Frankie!) when she had her ring redone twice! I really thought the Leon was fine, then the SK was really great, but then, when she showed those with the Victor Canera...wow, she was very right! It WAS possible to get an outstanding handmade piece!

My Leon solitaire setting is not perfect. I am thinking about redoing my stone and ring at this point, so maybe I can get mine right the next time!

I am sorry you are going through this, I really am. But I think we can learn a lot from others as we read their experiences on here. I think cast pieces are really good for people who want perfection without the handmade price tag. It is really good not to go custom so you know exactly what you are getting. If you go handmade, I think Victor Canera is the man of the moment. I think Van Craeynest is perfect other than they haven't perfected their prong finishing to our standards. Not sure who else does that level of work.

 

[NOYFB]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

I don't think you're crazy at all. I am a perfectionist myself. When I first got my upgrade stone/setting I couldn't get over the fact that one of the prongs was a bit more bulbous than the others. Then when I had it reset into a bezel the first time, it was so obviously imperfect that I cried. I took a chance on BGD to reset my ring again, and was very nervous about it since the price of the new setting was way more than I ever expected to pay. But, it's perfect now and I couldn't be happier.

I don't think you're being unreasonable with your expectations, but rather that you may have selected the wrong vendor for this project. I wish there was a way that you could get your money back and start over, with someone new, but that doesn't appear to be an option.

I'm sorry that this is happening to you and truly hope that you are able to resolve this to your satisfaction. Hugs.

 

[Haven]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

I don't think you're crazy.

I think it's normal for the customer to expect certain things from a custom process. As long as you make your expectations clear at the beginning, and the vendor agrees that he can reach them, and you both agree to the project, whatever happens after that should result in exactly what you decided upon together, IMO.

I had a custom piece done, and while I'm not as picky as many here on PS, I would have sent it back to have things tweaked if they weren't up to my standards.

The only problem I could see is if you aren't clear about your very high expectations up-front. As Circe says, they are jewelers, not miniaturists, so they have a right to know if you expect their work to be loupe perfect. If they know that, and they don't deliver, that's a big problem!

Off-center stones and crappy prongs are a terrible problem, IMO.

 

[maplefemme]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

Ame, I don't think you're crazy, I think that your expectations are completely reasonable, rough prongs, cracked stones, off-center stones, not acceptable in any ring, period, it's subpar.
I am beyond anal, but I'm reasonable, I expect the quality I'm paying for and have been assured of, no more no less. Yes you're a perfectionist, but you're not asking for the moon here! You're frustrated and have every right to be...

I have personally always appreciated my most anal retentive of clients and patients, they know what they want, they shoot straight, I'd take that any day over vague indecisiveness.
Sorry you're going through this, I hope you get this resolved and are happy with the final result.

 

[ame]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

Thanks guys. If this was a $1000 ring, like from SP or whatever, then I might be a little more flexible, hell I was on that one. But on this one, it's a LOT of money. And I know they can do it right, they just have to. They did it the first time, if you overlook the imperfect stones. SO...we will see. I've asked the jeweler to check on that stone that's off center. I REALLY hope they'll work with it so that it's at least less off center.

 

[Imdanny]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

Ame, I haven't done it (custom work) but in general, you (they) would get two chances to make it right and then I would scream holy hell until I got my money back "policies" be damned.

It is simply wrong for you (you, me, or anyone) not to get what you paid for.

In specific, your demands are not unreasonable, and especially at the price point you paid.

I am demanding, which is why I gravitate toward stock pieces from the world's best jewelry houses. It has to be mind clean. We all want that. That's the bottom line.

Best wishes and best of luck. You deserve this to be resolved and I hope it will be.

 

[quaddio]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

So I am crazy then, fabulous. Thank all of you professional psychiatrists for your assessments.

But whatever. I am "crazy" and need my head fixed. Whatever.

Forget it.

Dear Ame,

Don't let your ring get you down. Give the pop-psych of PS the attention it deserves. This is an anonymous forum.

The physical issues with your ring are no longer the worst part about this story. You are doubting yourself, expressing guilt and anxiety and questioning your mental health. A ring worn so close and personal with such a long usable life is worth giving attention to. Our opinion of quality is entirely subjective. Everyone is entitled to their own view.

I would encourage you to focus on what is in your control. You get to decide how the ring issues affect you. Because of the romantic significance there's even more at stake. Each time it was sent back most likely brought increased negativity - disappointment, frustration, uncertainty, risk of further disappointment, rinse and repeat. You can change your mindset. Use what works for you - power of prayer, visualisation, 'the secret', voodoo, positive thinking...

Being a so-called 'perfectionist' is part of your character, you value quality. This has probably paid off for you in the past or you wouldn't still be doing it. Remember why you put so much effort into your research, consultations, pricescoping in the first place? Because you feel you can obtain a ring you will love. You still can!

Ring love
It's your treasure

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: At what point in the custom/correction process do u sett

Nice post quaddio! I think you must be in a line of work related to counseling or psychology.