At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help! :(

[Laila619]

Hi everyone,

Let me preface my post by saying I am normally disgusted and angered by people who give away their pets as though they are disposable, and I am the first person to say "You made a committment and you have to stick by it."

That said, I have seriously been pondering whether to give away my second cat. Here's the story:

I am an avowed animal lover. I adopted both of my cats from shelters. I got Kiki in December 2004. It was basically a mutual love at first sight. Kiki was 8 months old when I adopted her. She had a very rough start in life. Her previous owner abused and neglected her, and as a result, she was very skittish and shy at first. Now, we have such a strong bond and she trusts my husband and me completely. She is a member of the family and we just adore and treasure her! I couldn't imagine my life without her.

In October 2009, (so 5 years after I got Kiki) I got the idea to adopt a second kitty, a playmate and companion for Kiki. I thought she would really appreciate the company and have fun playing with another kitty, especially on days when my husband and I don't come home until late. We went back to the shelter and adopted our Cassie, a super sweet and affectionate kitten, at just 13 weeks old. She bonded with us instantly.

When we brought Cassie home, we followed ALL the advice and books and vet suggestions of keeping them separate, slowly introducing them to each other, letting them smell each other's scents, etc. The first time the new kitten finally actually saw Kiki (through a slightly cracked door) she hissed at her. I thought this was a bad sign, but everyone assured me that it was normal, and that the kitten was just trying to assert herself so she wouldn't get hurt by this bigger, older cat.

Well, fast forward to almost a year of us having owned Cassie now, and I'm sad to say that Kiki and Cassie DO NOT get along. The instigator 100% of the time is the kitten Cassie. Kiki is now 6 years old, so she is heading into her senior years. All she wants to do is sleep, relax, and look out the window. Cassie, who is now 1 year old, is still just as rambunctious and playful as she was at 13 weeks. The problem is, she is
VERY aggressive to Kiki. Not play aggressive, but mean aggressive.

She attacks Kiki every chance she gets. Kiki will be looking out the window and Cassie will just blindside her and jump on her back. She attacks her when Kiki is trying to use the litter box. She attacks her when Kiki is trying to eat or drink. She attacks her when Kiki is just sitting peacefully. This results in yowling and growling.

Kiki is miserable. She is not an aggressive cat so she doesn't really fight back. She just runs away into the basement and it breaks my heart. We yell at Cassie and tell her "No!" and separate the two. We've squirted her with the spray bottle. But it never stops. Kiki's coat is shedding constantly because she is so stressed. She is not happy and it makes me so sad, because I cannot allow her to keep getting abused and attacked for the rest of her life. I want her senior years to be peaceful and happy, especially because she had such a rough start in life. I promised to take care of her and I cannot let this go on.

What can I do? I am at my wit's end. I am rueing the day I ever decided to adopt the second cat. My husband does NOT want to give Cassie away because she is bonded to us and loves us, and he loves her. But I don't see what else we can do. We have tried everything. Even the vet has no more suggestions for us.

Thanks for the advice.

 

[Laila619]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

By the way, both cats are spayed. We thought that once Cassie got spayed, she would be less aggressive and stop attacking the older cat. But it hasn't made a lick of difference. We also thought that once Cassie stopped being a kitten, she would settle down and not be so rough. But now that she is already over a year old, that hasn't made a difference either.

I'm only slightly joking...does anyone know of someone who would be able to take Cassie and give her a loving and safe indoor-only home? I just don't know what to do anymore.

 

[dragonfly411]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

Laila - It sounds like you have been put into a tough spot. I'd like to think that perhaps cassiejust needs time to grow up, but some cats just don't get along with others. It sounds to me like she might have jealousy issues. My family cat (who now lives with my dad) was always fine with dogs, but NEVER accepted another cat into her domain. We tried twice and that was it. If they were outside, fine, but if inside, no way Jose. I know that the idea of giving her away is hard, and that her bonding to you makes it harder, but I honestly feel like she probably would do well as a single pet, or single cat.

As to DH, I would approach things this way. You have had Kiki longer. In the case of a previously abused animal, I think we sometimes have a greater responsibility to those animals. It is much harder for them to develop trust in a person, or persons, again. For her to have grown to love and trust you is a much bigger accomplishment. Cassie is young still, and you can also dictate where she goes, to make sure she does bond with a new family. I firmly believe that abused animals should have a full chance to live out their lives in the most relaxed manner possible after having been through what they have. I would not re-home my rescue for much of anything. He'd be fed before me. Both of my dogs would, but I'd do everything to make sure he never has to feel lost or scared again. I never want him to think "where is my family?" or "why is this happening" ever ever again. To me that is your responsibility to Kiki whom I know you both love. I'm not saying you should care any less about Cassie, but I think that Cassie would be easier to find a place that would love her and that she could learn to love as well.


ETA - has your vet checked Cassie for any possible hormone imbalances?

 

[LAJennifer]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

Personally, I would have never put 2 females together as one will usually try to dominate the other . . . however, I have heard good things about the calming collar. Have you tried that? http://www.petco.com/Shop/SearchResults ... ing+collar

 

[Loves Vintage]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

Awww, Laila, I'm sorry that things have not worked out the way that you had hoped. I've adopted many cats over the years, and well, sometimes things do not work out. I have been fortunate, in that my mother has been willing to take the cats that have not worked out well in my home. For whatever reason, my beloved cat, who passed away earlier this year, was always the victim. I adopted one male, a purebred siamese, who hated him. He would "mark" in the house, and he had been neutered for years!!! At my mother's house, he happily got along with 5 other cats and would even groom the other cats!!! He was like their grandpa! So sometimes, it is just a personality thing. It sounds like Cassie might do well with another youngin' who can give as well as take. Maybe there's a friend or family member who would take her? I don't think you should feel guilty re-homing her, so long as you are comfortable with the home she's going to. Sometimes, it just does not work out. And, that's ok.

 

[movie zombie]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

it can take years.....not a year....for cats to work it out with the help of their human parents. i'd go back to keeping them separated, especially when you're not at home.

MoZo

 

[CatLuver]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

Laila,

Sorry you are having to deal with this - it's a rough situation.
First, I think cats are not considered fully mature until 2 years - from 1 to 2 they are still a teenager. So, it's possible Cassie would calm down by the time she's 2. However, I know that waiting 11 more months, esp. with the upcoming addition to your family, might not be feasible for you.

My former coworker had 2 cats, one was his before marriage and one was his wife's before marriage, so they were both grown before they met. One cat was very aggressive and often attacked the other w/o provocation, even to the point of the other cat hiding in the closet and my coworker finding scratches on him and fur all over the floor. He tried putting the aggressive cat in "time-out" in a carrier in a bathroom every time it exhibited aggressive behavior, for a certain period of time. Maybe you could try that? You wouldn't be able to do that if no one was home, though. Eventually they decided that the aggressive cat had to be constantly kept separate and he lives by himself in the bathroom. They're trying to find a new home for him, but as you can imagine, it's not easy to find a home for an aggressive adult cat.

Can you keep Cassie in a separate area of the house?

Also, I hear Feliway (it's a plug in or a spray with feline hormones) has a calming effect on cats, maybe that will help?

If you can find a new home for Cassie, that might be best for everyone, difficult as it would be. Sounds like she needs a house w/no other cats, or another active cat. Or maybe a dog?

Good luck with this. Don't feel like you're a bad cat parent, it's not like you're giving up on your responsibilities as a pet owner, you're trying to protect your first cat and the situation w/2 is just not working out. It's hard to tell that before adopting a 2nd; lots of times it works out, so it's not your fault.

 

[kenny]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

What about adding add a third cat which is also young and energetic for her to play with?

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

I was in your shoes about a year ago with our two dogs, not the same details but the same end dilemma. We rehomed Dreamer and it was the best thing we ever did. I do not buy into the guilt of rehoming a pet. Sometimes the responsible thing to do is find a home where the pet will thrive, if your home is not it.

And good lord, do not buy more stress for yourself with the child coming. Keep them separate? Get another cat? No and no! You have a baby on the way, those are not reasonable solutions in my opinion when you can probably find her a nice home with someone without other cats.

 

[monarch64]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

I was in your shoes about a year ago with our two dogs, not the same details but the same end dilemma. We rehomed Dreamer and it was the best thing we ever did. I do not buy into the guilt of rehoming a pet. Sometimes the responsible thing to do is find a home where the pet will thrive, if your home is not it.

And good lord, do not buy more stress for yourself with the child coming. Keep them separate? Get another cat? No and no! You have a baby on the way, those are not reasonable solutions in my opinion when you can probably find her a nice home with someone without other cats.

I agree wholeheartedly with every word of Dreamer's post. Of course I do not have any sympathy towards people who go through pets like underwear or as if they are an outfit they're trying on. But there's a huge difference between doing the responsible thing when a situation is just not working no matter what you try, and getting rid of a pet because it doesn't happen to suit your lifestyle and you didn't think about consequences first.

Cassie sounds to me like she either needs to be in a one pet household, or she needs animals who are not female felines to be her companion(s). Best of luck to you, Laila. I'm sorry to hear of your predicament.

 

[ForteKitty]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

What about adding add a third cat which is also young and energetic for her to play with?

They will gang up on Kiki. Cassie already considers Kiki to be the weaker one, so a younger one will definitely align him/herself w/ the stronger one. Right now it's not too much energy, she's simply asserting her dominance.

Laila- I know how that feels. have a very dominant spayed female cat who constantly taunts the males and fights them all the time. She is confined to her own room on a timeout every time she gets aggressive (which is almost always). We can't give her away because nobody wants her, but she doesn't get along with many others. Sad thing is, she is very affectionate towards people and loves *some* cats, but her aggressiveness towards other cats is just insane. Keeping her separated is the only thing we can do.

 

[Jennifer W]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

Laila, sorry you're having to deal with this. Your poor cats! And poor you!

I had a similar situation a few years ago. I found a feral kitten in the back of my Landrover. I have no idea if she had been put there by someone, or found her way in, but I decided to keep her and my older cat was 8 at the time. I got a Feliway diffuser from my vet and it worked. Really worked. After about 9 months of open hostility and some quite nasty injuries, too.

http://www.petmeds.co.uk/p-3339-feliway ... 2AodPB0DIw

You might want to give it a try for a week or so, because you probably don't have anything to lose at this point. Good luck!

Jen

ETA, don't beat yourself up. There's nothing irresponsible about finding a good home for a pet if it is in the animal's best interests. Sometimes it's the most responsible and loving thing that you can do.

 

[Laila619]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

Thank you SO much for the replies everyone.

Dragonfly, thanks! Yes, Cassie's been checked out by the vet and was deemed healthy and normal. Maybe it is jealousy issues.

LAJenn, I have heard that two female cats almost never get along. What a nightmare, wish I'd known that before. I will look into that calming collar, perhaps it could actually work. Thanks.

LV, thanks for the vote of confidence. I'm so sorry your beloved kitty passed away. I was LOLing at "grandpa" cat...it's interesting that he was able to get along with the cats at your mom's.

MovieZombie, thanks. Years? Really?? I don't want poor Kiki to have to get beat up for two more years before it finally stops.

CatLuver, thanks for the reassurance! We pretty much do keep Cassie in a separate room/area now. But this is probably not a good long-term solution unfortunately.

Kenny, my DH would kill me! Getting a third cat is out of the question, although your theory makes sense. I had to twist hub's arm to agree to adopt Cassie, and look where that got me.

Dreamer, thanks. Sorry you had to go through the same thing with your pup. It's hard not to feel guilty though!

Monarch, I agree that Cassie would do best in a dog household, or being the only pet. Thanks for your post!

ForteKitty, thank you. How long have you had your aggressive female cat? Do you think she gets upset at being confined all the time? Does she get why? I feel like Cassie just doesn't get it when we confine her. Because the second she is released, she is back at it again.

Jennifer W, thanks. That's wonderful that you adopted the feral kitten. I'm so glad the Feliway diffuser worked for you! Maybe we'll revisit it again.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

I was in your shoes about a year ago with our two dogs, not the same details but the same end dilemma. We rehomed Dreamer and it was the best thing we ever did. I do not buy into the guilt of rehoming a pet. Sometimes the responsible thing to do is find a home where the pet will thrive, if your home is not it.

And good lord, do not buy more stress for yourself with the child coming. Keep them separate? Get another cat? No and no! You have a baby on the way, those are not reasonable solutions in my opinion when you can probably find her a nice home with someone without other cats.

I agree with Dreamer as well. After my son was born in 2008 we had to rehome two adult cats and one male pug. It was heartbreaking at the time, and still is sometimes, but I know that it was for the best. Both kitties stayed together, and although we don't really keep in touch with their new family too much they are doing well. The pug is now an only pet and all of the behavior problems that we had with him have resolved. We've even visited him a few times!

It is a very difficult situation to be in and I wish you and your family the best of luck.

 

[Laila619]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

If we do end up having to give her away, do I take her to a no-kill shelter? Post an ad in the paper? (yikes, that one scares me)

I don't want to give her to just anyone, because unfortunately there are a lot of sickos out there. I would never forgive myself if something bad happened to her. She is not declawed because I think declawing is cruel. But the new owner could get this done to her, and I would feel awful. DH and I don't know of anyone personally who could take her though.

I am in Illinois. Does anyone know of a friend or family member, or a good shelter? I think she needs another younger cat like herself to play rough with, or maybe dogs.

Here is the little troublemaker in question. I love her and wish she would just stop the aggression toward Kiki. Giving her away would be so difficult at this point.

 

[Laila619]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

I was in your shoes about a year ago with our two dogs, not the same details but the same end dilemma. We rehomed Dreamer and it was the best thing we ever did. I do not buy into the guilt of rehoming a pet. Sometimes the responsible thing to do is find a home where the pet will thrive, if your home is not it.

And good lord, do not buy more stress for yourself with the child coming. Keep them separate? Get another cat? No and no! You have a baby on the way, those are not reasonable solutions in my opinion when you can probably find her a nice home with someone without other cats.

I agree with Dreamer as well. After my son was born in 2008 we had to rehome two adult cats and one male pug. It was heartbreaking at the time, and still is sometimes, but I know that it was for the best. Both kitties stayed together, and although we don't really keep in touch with their new family too much they are doing well. The pug is now an only pet and all of the behavior problems that we had with him have resolved. We've even visited him a few times!

It is a very difficult situation to be in and I wish you and your family the best of luck.

DivaDiamond, just saw your post. Thank you. May I ask how did you find the new homes for your pets? It sounds so tough, but it looks like it worked out well and everyone is happy.

 

[dragonfly411]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

Laila - I'd recommend asking family and friends to put the word out, and perhaps put an ad out but put it out with highlighted home requirements. You could also ask your local veterinary center, and put fliers up at the pet store. She is darling... I wish I could have a kitty.

 

[ForteKitty]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

We've had her for about a year, but she was about 6-7 months when we first found her so we don't exactly know her history. The time out room isn't too small of a room but she knows she goes there when she's bad. Sometimes she goes right back to being aggressive, and that's when we crate her in a big dog crate.

I hope that spray works for Cassie. I might look into it for mine too.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

I was in your shoes about a year ago with our two dogs, not the same details but the same end dilemma. We rehomed Dreamer and it was the best thing we ever did. I do not buy into the guilt of rehoming a pet. Sometimes the responsible thing to do is find a home where the pet will thrive, if your home is not it.

And good lord, do not buy more stress for yourself with the child coming. Keep them separate? Get another cat? No and no! You have a baby on the way, those are not reasonable solutions in my opinion when you can probably find her a nice home with someone without other cats.

I agree with Dreamer as well. After my son was born in 2008 we had to rehome two adult cats and one male pug. It was heartbreaking at the time, and still is sometimes, but I know that it was for the best. Both kitties stayed together, and although we don't really keep in touch with their new family too much they are doing well. The pug is now an only pet and all of the behavior problems that we had with him have resolved. We've even visited him a few times!

It is a very difficult situation to be in and I wish you and your family the best of luck.

DivaDiamond, just saw your post. Thank you. May I ask how did you find the new homes for your pets? It sounds so tough, but it looks like it worked out well and everyone is happy.

It took a while for us to find someone that would take both cats and not separate them. Eventually a distant family friend of my husband's parents (whew!) offered to take them.

It was much easier for the pug. MIL works with a woman that loves pugs, and so does her son and grandson that live with her. She was very excited when MIL told her we were needing to find a new home for our pug and she offered to take him immediately, even knowing that he was agressive and had other behavior problems. He is so happy with them - goes camping, fishing, you name it and is very rarely crated.

I cried so much having to give them up because my pets have always been more like family members but I knew that we had to do it so that they could live better lives.

 

[movie zombie]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

well, it did take years for us with one of the cats....she was a literally a hell demon with paws. and even then she never really blended but merely tolerated their presence. and as noted above, a cat isn't fully grown until 2 years of age....and not considered an old cat until 10.

with a baby on the way it may be time to find kitty #2 a forever home. its not easy to incorporate such a cat into the household.....it can be done but realistically you're not going to have the time for it.

i do like kenny's idea of a younger cat for her to play with but you'll have to do the separation and incorporation thing with #3 also....and there is no guarantee it will work.

but if hubby is bonded with the younger one, separation may be the only solution.

i wish you a lot of luck with this.

MoZo

ps one thing i did one of the many times i've adopted a cat was to spend time at the shelter to assess the personality of the cat being considered as to whether it would be a good fit with my existing cat. i went every day after work for a couple of weeks and changed my mind as to which cat i wanted because of what i saw and experienced. then i went every day after work for another week to make sure the older cat at home would know the scent of the new cat to be introduced. lots of time, lots of effort but it worked.

 

[Jennifer W]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

Laila, I didn't realise you'd tried the feliway diffuser already, sorry!

ForteKitty mentioned a big dog crate, which made me think - would it be possible for you to get a really huge crate for the older cat to retreat to in safety when you're not at home to police them? I don't know if this is getting too far-fetched, but you could replace the door with a plywood sheet and install a catflap in that - one that opens only for the cat with the correct collar?

My friend runs a cattery and she does something similar for cats that come in from the same family and are to be kept together, but don't always get along. I think the collars are magnetic - only one cat gets a collar and that cat can 'escape' into a sectioned-off area of the run but can come out again into the main space when s/he chooses. I'd forgotten about that!

Jen

 

[charbie]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

Laila- I almost wrote the same post as yours last week, only not about my own cat but about DHs cousins. Her cat is confined to a room bc it is such a bad, nasty, aggressive cat. It wasn't that way forever, and is pretty nice towards her and her husband, but is just cruel to her other cat, her dog, and...unfortunately...her children. She has two kids, 4 and 7, and the cat always tries to swing at them. Her solution has been to keep it in a room by itself, only allowed out at night to their bedroom.
I'm sure you agree, but no animal is worth the risk of possibly hurting your baby when s/he arrives. You don't know how Cassie may behave towards him/her. I think you should look up no kill shelters and see what option may be there. Otherwise, id talk with your vet to see if they may know someone who could take Cassie in. My own parents had to get rid of there beloved "peaches" after it continually sprayed over and over again on my older sisters crib.

 

[zoebartlett]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

Laila -- I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Just throwing this idea out there, but it's something we occasionally do when our (slightly naughty) male kitty gives us trouble. Maybe it would help?

Basically, we get out the roll of tin foil and tear off a sheet. For a while we tore off a sheet and kept it by the end table in the living room. Every time he'd do something naughty (like scratch the couch), we'd wave the tin foil at him. He hated the sound of it and ran away every time. It didn't take long for him to associate the scratching with the tin foil, and now he hardly does it. We still occasionally use the tin foil if needed, but it's gotten 10 times better. I don't know how doable something like this would be for you, but it might be worth a shot. Good luck!

 

[merilenda]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

I had a similar situation to you. I've had my cat since she was 8 weeks old. I also used to have another cat (also female) with her, and they got along great. So I'm not sure that the "not having two females together" rule is steadfast or anything.

Anyway, when I moved in with my FI, we just had the one cat. She was really bored and lonely since we're gone all day (and she was used to living with another cat previously). A few months after the move, we decided to adopt another cat. He was about 4 months old as I recall, and he did a lot of the same things you're talking about with your younger cat. He would block my cat from the litter box, block her from the food and water, and be aggressive with her. Also, if I ever tried to pet my cat or play with her at all, he would immediately insert himself between us and push my cat away.

Because of all this, my cat stopped using the litter box. So not only was she being harassed, but we now had cat pee and poop all over our floors constantly (she even peed on a lot of our things - including in my purse). We talked with the vet, and we talked with the cat specialist at the shelter.

My FI and I are like you, and we believe that adopting an animal is a commitment for that animal's lifetime. This went on for about a year, and nothing ever changed. The cat specialist at the shelter told us that these two cats were just never going to get along, and that the second cat we adopted might need to be in a single-cat home. We tried to find him a new home, but we couldn't, so she told us to bring him back to the shelter.

I admit that I still feel really bad about bringing him back to the shelter, especially since he spent the first four months of his life there. But that was the only solution we felt we had, and she agreed. After giving my cat a few months to be an "only cat," we tried to adopt another cat again. We were much more careful this time, and we had the cat person at the shelter keep an eye out for a very laid back, older cat who would do well in a multiple cat household and let my cat be dominant.

We adopted a ~6 year old male cat about a year ago now, and while they occasionally fight to the point of hissing, they mostly get along just fine. They're not BFF's exactly, but neither one is really dominant. They mostly live and let live. The boy cat likes to play a little more than mine does, and I think they mostly just fight if he wants to play and she doesn't.

Anyway, I know that this has become a book, but I thought I'd share my experience with you. Maybe the two cats you have together just aren't going to get along. My understanding is that that can definitely happen, and no matter what you do, it just isn't going to work out. You might want to consider re-homing the younger cat or bringing her back to the shelter. What I was advised to do is give my cat a few months to just chill out and live alone. And then if you want to try again, an older cat might be the best choice. You'd probably want to look for an older, super laid back cat who the shelter thinks would do well in a multiple cat household.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

When we rehomed Dreamer we were able to have her original owner, the breeder of our other dog, take her back and keep her in her home with her other dogs until *she* found her a forever home, so we were lucky that way.

But I just recalled that when I was about 12 we had to rehome our male siamese cat, Coco. He was a vicious beast of a cat, and though he terrorized me we would not have given him up except that our co-op association forced us to! Apparently he scared all the children in the area! We actually got him from a woman with an ad in the paper as well.

My mom put an ad in the paper and interviewed on the phone all the potential owners until the right person came up. I think to an extent you will know when you talk to them. Perhaps call a shelter and ask them for a copy of the application they use when they are adopting pets out to new homes? You can ask some (not all of course) of those questions of the potential owners! That is what I might try first, in addition to spreading the word far and wide withing family and friends. I would look into no kill shelters only if I was not successful on my own, since they are burdened enough already.

 

[Imdanny]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

Ditto what the others said about a cat not being full grown until 2, definitely not 1 (I was waiting for my own kitten to 'grow up' and stop being rambunctious and demanding I play with her, etc.).

If your DH would agree, I'd say it would be the time to find her a new home. She's young and cute (and that's what most people want when they get a cat for better or worse).

Good luck.

 

[monarch64]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

Laila, I do have a contact in the Lockport area who would probably love to have another kitty...

Lockport, IL is a southwest suburb of Chicago, would that be a possibility for you? If so, I will happily ask my friend if she has room for another loving kitty. She and her husband do not have children and have lost several adult cats in the past ten years without replacing (I believe) and I think Cassie might be a good match. If you are interested and so are they, I will do my utmost to try to connect you.

 

[Nashville]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

She's cute, but it isn't fair for your other cat to live in misery. And sorry, with a baby on the way quite frankly I wouldn't want to put up with the stress either. Sounds like she'd thrive in a house where she was the only cat. And if someone else adopts her you will just have to let go of the control and trust that she's going to a good home (I only say this because I am a control freak and hate not being in control of a situation).

Just my $0.02

 

[Laila619]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

Thank you so much to Charbie, Zoe, Merilenda, and ImDanny for your helpful posts and suggestions. I appreciate it.

Merilenda, sorry you had a bad experience and you had to end up giving your cat away. That must have been hard for you and your FI.

Monarch, yes I would definitely be interested in getting connected with them. Thank you so much!

 

[Laila619]

Re: At the end of my rope with my cat...please please help!

Nashville, that's true. I'd have to just trust and hope that if someone else adopted her, they would be good to her.