Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Asscher engagement ring - what to do? Need advice

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
C

climb2cloud9

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 15, 2007
Messages
113
Hi everyone,

I am just sick to my stomach and need some advice. After deciding pretty quickly that I wanted an Asscher engagement ring, my lovely fiance gave me a generous budget to go stone shopping. Well, I found a nice jeweler and found what I thought was the perfect stone. 1.20/D color/GIA/VS2/ 59% table - nice ring huh? He found matching trapezoids to match then I designed my setting and when I first got the ring, I loved it. But... the diamond has a medium blue fluorescence and I just didn't take that into strong enough account when selecting the stone. In most light, it looks beautiful but in natural light - it looks SO blue especially compared to the side trapezoids. I just feel sick that I don't love this ring because of the fluorescence. I got the ring about a month ago... what to do??? I think it would be hard to replace the stone because it was custom made - not sure how that would work...

One part of me is like "get over it - you picked it out" and the other part of me is like "he spent 12K dollars - it should be a diamond I really love." I asked about the fluorescense before deciding on the stone and the jeweler said that it will make a diamond a bit whiter and that the GIA just put out a report saying that fluorescense in a stone isn't necessarily a bad thing (I read it and it made sense) but bottom line is - I'm not happy with the look. No one else can tell the difference and I get nothing but compliments on it.

I feel awful that I even feel this way. I know that it shouldn't be about "the ring" - It's about my relationship with man of my dreams. I can't believe that I get to marry my best friend! How lucky are we??!!??!!

Anyhoo, has anyone been through this? What did you do? Can I go back to the jeweler? Will he think that I'm an idiot?? I'm nervous to go back and don't want my fiance to know that I'm not happy because I don't want to seem ungrateful.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts - they are greatly appreciated.

H

p.s. to Strm... what do you think about fluoresence in an Asscher - I really value your thoughts. thx!
 
It depends a LOT on your jeweler. Many will take back a stone within 30 days, or have a trade up/trade in policy. So, depending on their policies, they might allow you to trade it in for something else. This is something that you realllllly should think long and hard about before you do though, as it might hurt your boyfriend''s feelings if you now tell him that you don''t love the ring that he just spent $12k on. Tread very carefully here as you really really don''t want to appear difficult to please.

Depends on whether it''s worth it to you, many people love the flouro look.
 
I know... I don''t want to seem ungrateful because I know how lucky I am. Thanks for the advice.
 
No problem. I hope that it works out for you. You can always test the waters by letting HIM notice the blue in the sunlight and seeing what he says. If he also indicates that he doesnt'' like it, it''ll give you an in.

Also, it really depends on how much it bothers you IMO. If you LOVE it most of the time, but just in the direct sunlight you only LIKE it, then it probably wouldn''t be worth it to stir up potential trouble. BUT if it really really bothers you and you no longer love the ring AT ALL, then it might be worth it to bring it up.

Regardless, it might be worthwhile to call your jeweler and find out if you even have the option of returning/exchanging it.

Best of luck!
 
What about just replacing the TRAPS with TRAPS that have the fluor ALSO? It may just be a "buyers remorse" kind of adjustment period. The expectations of e-ring are so HIGH, it''s almost impossible to be PERFECTLY happy. Sometimes "minor" issues can get blown out of proportion during the adjustment period -- and then grow to be totally accepted, even cherished later on.

But you know yourself better than anyone else. If you think it will *always* bother you then investigate your options.

Does *he* even have to know? (I''m terrible Muriel!!)
 
do you really dislike the blue hue or is it more that it doesn''t match with the sides? if it''s the non ''matchy'' ness of them, i think you should do as deco suggested and look into changing the sides. likely the cut and color of the sidestones are making the fluor seem more prominent than it really is. most people here would love to be in that boat! it''s so hard to find a good fluorescent stone!
 
you are SO right!! Expectations are so high and I do think there is some sort of adjustment to all of this change. I wonder if I''m just blowing it out of proportion. I''m going to think about it this afternoon and maybe email the jeweler just to see what he says. Ugh!! I wish I could go back in time!!!!
 
thanks Belle - is that true that some people look for fluoresence in a stone? I just like the appearance of the side traps better.
 
MANY people look for flouro in a stone!! It is a coveted feature here on PS!
 
here is a picture so you know what I''m talking about. thanks all. :)

P4230256.jpg
 
Might not want to hear this, but I LOVE it! I really like how it makes the diamond look a tad blue.

Sorry, I am not helping here.
5.gif
 
Well I must be blind if that photo shows a difference in tone from the center to the sides ...

All I see is step-cut goodness!
18.gif



ETA: do a google search on Blue White diamonds ... in the twenties (I think?? earlier?) ... stones with a hint of blue fluor were HIGHLY PRIZED. Prized OVER "white diamonds". Mothers would tell their daughters to make sure they got a "blue white" diamond. Just sayin ... perception is everything.
 
i think what you are seeing is normal asscher "deep pool" glow. i really don''t see the problem with the fluor.

what happens frequently on PS is people think they''re getting the holy grail of rings, and then true reality does not match expectations. I think you may have a case of buyer''s remorse.
 
Date: 5/15/2007 3:35:41 PM
Author: climb2cloud9
here is a picture so you know what I''m talking about. thanks all. :)
Click to expand...
Beatuiful ring!!! I really love it!
 
Date: 5/15/2007 3:29:19 PM
Author: climb2cloud9
thanks Belle - is that true that some people look for fluoresence in a stone? I just like the appearance of the side traps better.
Click to expand...
it''s true
2.gif


and btw....your ring looks GORGEOUS!
28.gif
 
Here's a paragraph about Blue-white diamonds I found here

"You have probably heard the term "blue-white" used in describing Diamonds. True blue-white Diamonds are very rare, and the term is no longer used by good jewelers. A blue white Diamond is one that is very white (D color) but in ultraviolet light (such as sunlight contains) it has a slight bluish fluorescence. The term became very much abused some years ago by unscrupulous dealers. Some dealers were even calling K and L color stones blue-whites!"

And here is an informative page complete with pictures & a discussion on value. Maybe you can see where your stone falls along the scale?
 
Date: 5/15/2007 3:29:19 PM
Author: climb2cloud9
thanks Belle - is that true that some people look for fluoresence in a stone? I just like the appearance of the side traps better.
Click to expand...
I would love to have it.
fluorescence is way kewl
wifey2b's next diamond might just have strong blue or even VSBlue if I can find one with the right cut.
 
Looks gorgeous to me!! I am a huge fan of fluorescence!!
 
Here''s another paragraph about Blue-white diamonds from Nice Ice.

A-3: Should I worry about this "fluorescence - stuff" in the diamond? Is medium blue and strong blue still okay?

According to the GIA Gem Trade Laboratory fluorescence is nothing more than an "identifying characteristic"... 90% of your feelings about fluorescence will be based on the advertising messages and marketing trends you are exposed to during your diamond buying years. When your Mother or Grandmother were-a-court''n "Blue White Diamonds" were all the rage... By definition, a "Blue White" Diamond is one with D/E color and Medium to Strong Blue Fluorescence. As far as Granny is concerned, a "Blue White" Diamond (a.k.a. "Premiere") is the highest quality diamond available... In the old days, no one gave a rip about the clarity and color of the diamond... Only size, price, and whether it was "Blue White"... Back then, diamonds with high levels of blue fluorescence were sought after with a vengeance... Especially high color, D and E color diamonds with strong blue and distinct blue fluorescence... Naturally if a diamond exhibited "milky" or "oily" properties it was passed over by the jeweler when he was selecting diamonds for his inventory and they were never shown to his discriminating clients... However, since fewer than 2% of gem quality diamonds actually exhibit this negative property, icky, oily diamonds are of little concern even for today''s discriminating diamond buyer. Bear in mind that the fluorescence level of a diamond is rarely noticeable unless the diamond is viewed under a black light in a dark room and let''s be realistic, can you really see Grandma in a head shop or psychedelic poster store? We rest our case...
 
Sorry you aren''t loving your ring - I love Asher cuts myself too! Maybe you could compare your Asher to a simliarly sized one without the flur. to see if you prefer that. I wouldn''t mention it to your fiance. Actually I don''t see why you couldn''t change the stone without him knowing if it comes to that. I don''t think you should settle for something you don''t love but maybe if you compare it to other stones you can decide what to do.
 
Thanks everyone for your advice and thanks very much to decodelighted for all the info. I''m gonna take all this in and then decide what to do. There is something very special about keeping the stone that was given to me while my fiance was on his knee asking to marry me. I really appreciate all the feedback :)

Have a great week!
 
OOOH! I LOVE fluoresence! I know, I know, it is totally a personal choice...but perhaps if you look at this stone as a unique beauty (like your relationship
28.gif
) - a trait of its high quality - you might just fall head over heals for it! And, though I love fluor...actually in that picture it isn''t visible to me..
 
Thanks immi - that''s a really nice way to think about it. :)
 
I have to agree, I see nothing but a beautiful ring there.
2.gif
 
I think you are so lucky...over analysing a fabolous ring!
 
I cannot see anything from that picture (as fas as any color difference), but your ring is gorgeous!
 
take your time deciding. you might find that you like it and can embrace it for what it is. as immi said, as unique as your own relationship! one thing i would NOT suggest doing that was mentioned in a previous post, is change the stone without your fi knowing. i can''t think of a worse way to start a life together than hiding things behind his back. relationships are about communication and compromise, not deception.

best of luck! i look forward to hearing about what you decide!
 
I saw this picture over at Vespergirl's Bling thread & had to show you ... it shows the "Asscher Deep Pool Glow" that you may be mistaking for the effects of fluorescence.

See -- the Asscher cut is like a mirror -- reflecting what ever it's facing ... in outdoor shots & the outdoor environ -- it's THE SKY -- which happens TO BE BLUE. The side stones aren't facing exactly up -- they're at an angle so they won't reflect the same hue -- also, they're smaller -- smaller MIRRORS -- see ... even stones the exact same color & level of fluor can appear slightly different depending on how they're set and where they are.

Not sure what's happening with your ring -- but seeing this pix gave me an AHA moment -- if you've only had the ring a few weeks you might not be used to how it "works".

Just a thought!

asscherdeeppoolglow.JPG
 
Date: 5/16/2007 12:49:05 PM
Author: decodelighted
I saw this picture over at Vespergirl''s Bling thread & had to show you ... it shows the ''Asscher Deep Pool Glow'' that you may be mistaking for the effects of fluorescence.

See -- the Asscher cut is like a mirror -- reflecting what ever it''s facing ... in outdoor shots & the outdoor environ -- it''s THE SKY -- which happens TO BE BLUE. The side stones aren''t facing exactly up -- they''re at an angle so they won''t reflect the same hue -- also, they''re smaller -- smaller MIRRORS -- see ... even stones the exact same color & level of fluor can appear slightly different depending on how their set and where they are.

Not sure what''s happening with your ring -- but seeing this pix gave me an AHA moment -- if you''ve only had the ring a few weeks you might not be used to how it ''works''.

Just a thought!
Click to expand...
ahhh yes! aha! i think you have it deco. i wasn''t correlating the sides not facing the sky at the same time. i think you have hit the nail right on the head!
 
I think your ring is absolutely gorgeous! I love asschers. I actually don''t see the blue fluoro in the pic you posted (I have one with strong blue fluoro) - med blue (GIA or AGS graded) shouldn''t be very strongly blue. I think others hit the head that you are seeing a characteristic of asschers instead of a problem with the fluoro. Of course I am biased towards fluoro...
2.gif

Also, it will look neat when you wear it to a club with UV fluoro lights - everyone will know your ring is a real diamond then because czs don''t fluoresce!
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Jewelry Blog
PriceScope-Concierge-Ad
Find prime cuts.
Top