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Are you trusting?

Indylady

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,749
Do you trust easily? Why or why not?
 
Interesting post....No, abusive/manipulative mom. I can be very blunt and harsh and I do not know how to sugar coat anything. I had to be so that my mom couldn't find the "hidden meaning" in things. Oddly enough I'm an open book and fairly positive. I credit my dad for that :bigsmile: He is quite an amazing guy 8)
 
I don't trust easily. Been burned too much in the past.
 
Not at all. I am constantly expecting people {even those few I love} to do me dirt. Ok after 28 years I finally accept husband and bff won't, but for just about everyone else I hold them mentally at arms length and have to admit still keeping a "wait and see" attitude. And it wasn't until approximately 4-5 years ago I was able to open up and even consider the possibility of having friends AT ALL.

As much as I don't want to to the cliche of "my parents, especially my mother", that's where it all started. She was a mean, nasty unhappy woman who took out all her unhappiness and frustrations on her three daughters. She sowed dissension on her daughters and encouraged arguments among us, she was a splitter--there was NO CLOSENESS OR TRUST in my family at all. There was no anchor, no feeling of stability. And that is a very tough thing to get over. It took me a hell of a long timedo do so, but I have managed to do it thanks to a reat therapist.

I had to cut all contact with the whole family to et better. I did and never looked back,.
 
I tend to very deeply trust people I know. This can be a problem with students, some of whom enjoy taking advantage of their professors' trust. I a very likely, though, to try to validate information (like in the media or a presentation).
 
Nope I am a judger, a high-mach and not least always remember the X-Files - "Trust No one" :errrr:
 
Maisie said:
I don't trust easily. Been burned too much in the past.
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Me as well. I am trying to be better about it but when you'been hurt/used etc. it's not easy.
 
No - I judge at first sight, and I definitely don't trust easily.

Once I do trust and/or care for people, though, I'm incredibly loyal and can only ever believe the best of them, and that doesn't always end well.
 
I am trusting of those I have known for a long time... Do I trust someone initially?? Heck no!!!

WHY?? I was abused as a child. Nuff said.

BUT am happy to say, that cycle of abuse has been broken. ::)
 
I know that for me the worst part is always being confused as to if the other person really did something bad or if I just see it that way because of my background. Anybody else ever feel like this?
 
Steal said:
Nope I am a judger, a high-mach and not least always remember the X-Files - "Trust No one" :errrr:
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I've always thought that I am much like Steal/Steel!

I am very judgmentative, very soulless, very heartless, etc.
 
Sparklyblonde, you aren't alone.

Trust people I meet on certain forums? Sure, I can learn about them before I meet them. Trust boyfriend and his family? Yep. Trust RL friends? Most situations, yes. Trust RL family or coworkers? Not so much
 
I have three people I trust in my life, DH, my sister and my dad. I trust nobody else. I feel most people have other motives or are not sincere.
 
monarch64 said:
Steal said:
Nope I am a judger, a high-mach and not least always remember the X-Files - "Trust No one" :errrr:
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I've always thought that I am much like Steal/Steel!

I am very judgmentative, very soulless, very heartless, etc.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry that is how I am coming across and I would bet my last dollar that you have neither of those last two attributes. :))
 
With people, I trust my close loved ones at their word, although there aren't many people on that list. Otherwise, I look to people's actions and trust those more than their words.

With information, I trust nothing. I always look to validate information, and I quite like the research that comes along with this quality. I was the kid who was asked to leave the Sunday School classroom for asking "How do you know G-d exists?" one too many times. I still believe that it was a valid question, especially for a child.
 
I trust my husband. My kids for the most part now that their older. But in general not very much. There are not too many examples
in our world of people who are trustworthy or have integrity. Sad but true.

Most everyone in my birth family has proved not to be trustworthy as well. I try to drill it into my kids how important it is to be
people of their word.
 
Haven said:
With people, I trust my close loved ones at their word, although there aren't many people on that list. Otherwise, I look to people's actions and trust those more than their words.

With information, I trust nothing. I always look to validate information, and I quite like the research that comes along with this quality. I was the kid who was asked to leave the Sunday School classroom for asking "How do you know G-d exists?" one too many times. I still believe that it was a valid question, especially for a child.
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LOL! I got sent home from my Christian school kindegarten for this and then they'd get angry with me for insisting I was right because they didn't have an answer :praise: I've also wondered if people who don't trust easily are more likely not to belive in a higher power because that involves the ultimate form of trust. Trusting in something that cannot be validated.
 
I am. Except for with my kids. The chances of something happening are slim to none but I figure slim and none can take a hike when it comes to my kids. With myself..I still have a hard time at work remembering that if I am upset about something, and I vent (Like another coworker snarking at me or a coworker doing something incorrectly ect, work things like that) it's almost a sure thing that someone is going to run to the person and tell them.
 
I trust pretty easily, my husband doesnt trust anyone....thats alot of the reason we dont get along.
 
Sparkly Blonde said:
Haven said:
With people, I trust my close loved ones at their word, although there aren't many people on that list. Otherwise, I look to people's actions and trust those more than their words.

With information, I trust nothing. I always look to validate information, and I quite like the research that comes along with this quality. I was the kid who was asked to leave the Sunday School classroom for asking "How do you know G-d exists?" one too many times. I still believe that it was a valid question, especially for a child.
Click to expand...

LOL! I got sent home from my Christian school kindegarten for this and then they'd get angry with me for insisting I was right because they didn't have an answer :praise: I've also wondered if people who don't trust easily are more likely not to belive in a higher power because that involves the ultimate form of trust. Trusting in something that cannot be validated.
Click to expand...
That's a really interesting thought. I'm going to have to chew on that for a while.

We would have made great friends in elementary school! We would have written an underground 'zine together called The Skeptic and passed it around the Sunday School playground :cheeky: . (I know the magazine already exists, but it's a great name and we would have thought of it first!)
 
I'm mostly trusting because I realize that most aren't perfect and I gotta let a lot of the small things go.

That said, there is one person who(m?) I do not trust AT ALL. A summer of experience taught me NOT to trust her one bit. I still see the games continuing and keep asking another person I know WHY are we accepting specific things when they will result in more backstabbing, etc. ETA - she also lies, lies, lies, makes things up to jazz up her stories/gossip. Now, I do not believe anything she said. Before DH would tell me something he heard from her and I would be appauled at the person being gossiped about. Now I ask, "where is the proof?" "How do we actually know that?"
 
I am mostly anti-social and find entertaining other people to be draining so I don't know how to quantify my ability to trust. I'm more of a trust now, look for flaws as we go. I tend to get positive or negative impressions very clearly and very fast, so I rarely make mistakes. I have been fooled though. After a disastrous falling out I had in my late 30's, that's when I began deciding I didn't really need more people in my life anyway. Bah Humbug I say!!! :wavey:
 
Sparkly Blonde said:
I know that for me the worst part is always being confused as to if the other person really did something bad or if I just see it that way because of my background. Anybody else ever feel like this?
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I'm the same way. Most of the time I really can't tell whether my feelings are reasonable or not. It's exhausting! It'd be a relief to automatically believe the best of people, but what can you do.
 
Bunny007 said:
Sparkly Blonde said:
I know that for me the worst part is always being confused as to if the other person really did something bad or if I just see it that way because of my background. Anybody else ever feel like this?
Click to expand...

I'm the same way. Most of the time I really can't tell whether my feelings are reasonable or not. It's exhausting! It'd be a relief to automatically believe the best of people, but what can you do.
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I hear you both. BUT for me, if I feel they did something wrong, they usually have.. Gotta trust your gut... But then again, I don't have to worry about this much, as the people I let into my life are really wonderful people... And haven't been hurt since I was in my late 20's. I learned early to eliminate toxic and draining people from my life.
 
I'm not very trusting of people anymore. I've been severely hurt over and over again by the closest people to me, so I see no reason to trust friends (unless I know them for a very long time), or aquaintances, and I don't trust strangers at all.
 
I generally trust unless I have a reason not to. Could just be a hunch, but they are rarely wrong. In terms of relationships, I am guarded, but I wouldn't say that is the same things as non-trusting. I like to take my time and observe.

I forgive easily. Unless you hurt my friends or family. Then I basically never trust or forgive.... :wavey:
 
I don't trust people until they've earned it. I've been screwed over so many times by being too trusting.
 
Sometimes too easily, I think. I've developed more of a "wait and see" approached with bosses as I have been thrown under the bus a few too many times, but I think I trust the majority of people quite easily. Once friends have given me a reason to mistrust their actions, I typically pull away from the friendship - I have a lot of very trustworthy friends and I just don't like to be around people I can't trust.
 
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