Are you telling people baby names?

[NakedFinger]

We arent pregnant yet, but frequently talk about possible baby names for the furture. Every time have ever had an idea of a name and I bring it up to someone (especially my mother

) I hear "eww I dont like that" or "Thats weird", etc etc.

It occurred to me that there is always going to be someone who doesnt like the name. For various reasons (what I am hearing the most is "eww i had a teacher (or friend, or relative, etc etc) that I didnt like that had that name and it ruined it for me" or something to that effect. You cant please everyone, I understand that. But at the same time, I dont want someone''s disapproval to ruin the name for me either. So it made me think, if they hear the name after the baby is born and named that, they cant really say anything.

So my question for you is, did you (or do you plan to) share your selected boy/girl names with people ahead of time? Or did you wait (or are you planning on waiting) to announce the name until after the birth? Just curious...

 

[Tacori E-ring]

We did but I can totally see why people don''t. It is annoying to hear all these random opinions. Just b/c someone hated a girl named X in middle school or someone else thought X sounded like a snob pressures you to change the name. But at the same time I am a really open and honest person and feel uncomfortable lying and saying we didn''t have names if we did.

 

[NakedFinger]

Date: 7/20/2009 10:21:13 AM
Author: Tacori E-ring
We did but I can totally see why people don't. It is annoying to hear all these random opinions. Just b/c someone hated a girl named X in middle school or someone else thought X sounded like a snob pressures you to change the name. But at the same time I am a really open and honest person and feel uncomfortable lying and saying we didn't have names if we did.

Exactly. But we wouldnt lie, maybe just say "Yes, we have names, but we'd like it to be a surprise". This way, we arent lying.

 

[D&T]

we did about two weeks before we were due with our second DD was born because we couldn't decide on a name until then

but with our first, it was very unique and no one else has it, so it didn't matter one way or another if people liked it, but it was meaningful to us.

 

[lucyandroger]

Even though we're years off from having kids, we've discussed this and we're going to keep the names a secret/ surprise but not because we don't want comments. We're planning to name our first girl or boy after a dear relative (girl on his side, boy on my side) that has passed on and we want to surprise our families with that.

It's going to be hard keeping the secret because I'm usually a blabber mouth!

 

[sba771]

Nope no way. Not even our parents (well I would consider telling my mom because she has proven herself 10000000% trustworthy and knows how to keep a secret and play dumb.) If we have a boy we will not even announce his name until his Bris 8 days after he is born. This was a very important tradition to me and since we are following my FI''s naming tradition, we compromised on that. It is an old superstition but I won''t even refer to the future baby by its name until it is born. (there is no baby for a while, but we have discussed this at length) My other big reason is I love our names, and really don''t want to hear anyone else''s opinion.

 

[sbde]

Date: 7/20/2009 10:28:22 AM
Author: NakedFinger

Date: 7/20/2009 10:21:13 AM
Author: Tacori E-ring
We did but I can totally see why people don''t. It is annoying to hear all these random opinions. Just b/c someone hated a girl named X in middle school or someone else thought X sounded like a snob pressures you to change the name. But at the same time I am a really open and honest person and feel uncomfortable lying and saying we didn''t have names if we did.

Exactly. But we wouldnt lie, maybe just say ''Yes, we have names, but we''d like it to be a surprise''. This way, we arent lying.

+1

same reasoning as tacori and naked. we only told immediate family the name just to get honest feedback but other than that everyone else was told that it would be a surprise.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

We shared names ahead of time. . . we had a difficult time deciding, and didn''t offiicial "announce" names until after each child was born. We had a top-three list and after each boy was born, we knew which name to go with.

 

[MonkeyPie]

We like to talk about baby names with my in-laws, because they think it''s fun and so do we. (Plus my husband knows that since they are so religious, they would be highly offended by names like Lucifer and Damian. Thankfully they also have a sense of humor!) But we only have a name for a girl picked out, which we have kept to ourselves. I plan to keep it between us until the baby is born so no one can give me grief about it - the first name is from a very popular teen book series, but that isn''t why I liked it. It''s a spin on my MIL''s name, and her middle name will be my moms middle name.

I can already hear people. "You named her after a book character?"

 

[packrat]

My aunt named her 3 girls after 3 soap opera stars'' characters names.

We told family the names we picked out. After the kids were born, we got a lot of strange looks and "ohh that''s...interesting". People are pretty opinionated about baby names, and it''s funny that they seem to think when you tell them the names you''re thinking of, you''re asking for permission or something. You say "We''re thinking of Amy or Ellen" they hear "We want to know if you think we should pick Amy or Ellen, and if you don''t like either of those, please tell us what you feel we should name our child"

 

[E B]

We shared what we were naming our son, but like Tacori, I can see why people don't. For the most part, we got really positive feedback, but a couple family members didn't like it and didn't try to spare my feelings- they emailed me other suggestions, even though they knew the decision had been made.

It was annoying, but I brushed it off. They'd already had their chances to name children.

 

[MustangGal]

We shared the girl name we had picked out before we got pregnant, and then when we found out it was a boy, we bounced ideas off the family because we couldn''t decide. Both the girl name and the boy name everyone liked. I never had anyone give me negative feedback on either.

I can see why you''d wait if you want it a surprise, or just don''t want to hear what other people think. There''s also the rare instance of people "steeling" your selected name. My little brother won''t tell us the name he wants for his child (he''s 16), becasue he was afraid I''d use it

 

[princesss]

Date: 7/20/2009 11:59:31 AM
Author: MonkeyPie
We like to talk about baby names with my in-laws, because they think it''s fun and so do we. (Plus my husband knows that since they are so religious, they would be highly offended by names like Lucifer and Damian. Thankfully they also have a sense of humor!) But we only have a name for a girl picked out, which we have kept to ourselves. I plan to keep it between us until the baby is born so no one can give me grief about it - the first name is from a very popular teen book series, but that isn''t why I liked it. It''s a spin on my MIL''s name, and her middle name will be my moms middle name.

I can already hear people. ''You named her after a book character?''

My favourite names are all characters from my favourite books. Henry, Clare/Claire, James (Jamie), Roger....

My friend (yeah, basically my only friend with a kid) wasn''t going to share the name they picked, but decided when they ordered monogrammed towels and things that people would get curious, so they ended up sharing the name. But her reasoning was that they loved the name they chose (and, I think, with good reason since it''s an adorable name) and they didn''t want to hear any negativity towards it. She was saying that when people hear a name before the baby is born, they see it as a potential name, and think they can sway the parents away from it if they don''t like it. But once the baby''s born and you say the name, that''s it. No matter how decided the parents are on a name, people don''t seem to get that it''s official until they baby is born.

 

[NYCsparkle]

my dh and i decided to keep all names to ourselves. it was the best decision...we have family members who are very opinionated

. it was a great decision because when they were introduced to the baby at the hospital it was the only name they pictured my son and recently daughter to be. there was no..." well he/she really looks like his/her name should be_____.." my sister in law went through that w/her 2nd son and she regrets ever saying her choices.lol....its also very fun to hear family and friends tell you what a great name is...my mom was notorious for what she liked and didn''t

. i told her she should have another baby so she couyld choose the name

 

[nycbkgirl]

we told my family only and i couldnt care less what anyone had to say about it

 

[Sha]

I''ve been sharing some of our name ideas with my close friend, and I do notice they''re pretty opinionated about my names. Most of them they don''t like that much, which is making me second guess some of our choices, even though I like them a lot. But I realize that you can''t please everybody with names....you just have to choose what you like. My friends have certain names that appeal to them, and so do I. When we decide on something firm - I''ll just tell them what it is instead of asking for their opinions.

I''m a bit cautious about sharing name choices with other women who are pregnant, though. The other day I was talking to a friend who is due a few weeks before me. We were discussing names and I decided to hold back on my ''girl name'' because she is having a girl, and hasn''t decided on her names yet. You never know!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

You could do that but I never could. I get too excited

Also the benefit of telling our friends our "names" early is many of my friends were preggo when I was and on the off chance they happened to choose the same name I wanted to give them fair warning that we planned to us it. personally I could care less if a friend named her child the same name as mine but *MOST* people are very offended by this. I figure it is easier this way.

 

[ChinaCat]

I''m 9 months preggo and we haven''t really shared our names IRL. I have shared a general list on the preggo thread, and my BF actually suggested one of our top names so I let on that it was "on our list".

I thought it would be hard, but it''s been surprisingly easy to just say we have a list, but no actual name yet. Which is true. I don''t tend to be swayed by other people, but it''s so hard to pick a name that I don''t want any chance of anyone saying something that could affect me. My DH on the other hand, loves to try to share our names, especially after a few glasses of wine! Every time we go out to dinner, I have to have a "talk" with him to remind him that I don''t want people knowing! It''s cute but annoying!

Part of it for me is that I want there to be some sort of surprise. We found out the sex already, so the name is the only thing left, want people to have something to look forward to. Plus, like the OP said, once you name the kid that, even if other people don''t love it, it just becomes their name and there is less negativity. And finally, I don''t want to have to respect someone else''s opinion. For instance, if my mom or MIL HATED a name we liked, I would feel bad picking a name and would feel like I had to at least consider their opinion. And honestly, I''ve heard some of their name choices and

!

Now, there are a few family names that are super popular, and if we wanted to use one of those, I would announce it immediately, especially if there was someone preggo right in front of me. Lucikly, we aren''t using any of those names, and the only preggo person is AFTER me, so it''s not an issue. But if you really want to claim a name, I would claim it!

 

[zoebartlett]

I have a friend who had a baby last winter and although she and her husband had names picked out, they wouldn''t tell anyone what they wanted to name their son. Another friend is pregnant and although she and her husband know they''re having a girl and they have chosen a name, they''re keeping it a secret. Honestly, I don''t really get this. Why keep it such a secret? I know they did it because they didn''t want to hear random comments and they didn''t want people to try to change their minds. We don''t have kids yet but I''m planning on finding out whether we''re having a boy or girl when/if the time comes, and we won''t keep the name(s) a secret.

 

[Camille]

Nay, no one knew, both times. My poor SIL did, it wasn't pretty.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 7/20/2009 3:12:44 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
You could do that but I never could. I get too excited

Also the benefit of telling our friends our ''names'' early is many of my friends were preggo when I was and on the off chance they happened to choose the same name I wanted to give them fair warning that we planned to us it. personally I could care less if a friend named her child the same name as mine but *MOST* people are very offended by this. I figure it is easier this way.

In this case, I''d share my name ideas with the pregnant friends only

I can see how it would be upsetting to have a friend name her baby the EXACT name you wanted by coincidence!

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 7/20/2009 12:59:53 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 7/20/2009 11:59:31 AM

Author: MonkeyPie

We like to talk about baby names with my in-laws, because they think it''s fun and so do we. (Plus my husband knows that since they are so religious, they would be highly offended by names like Lucifer and Damian. Thankfully they also have a sense of humor!) But we only have a name for a girl picked out, which we have kept to ourselves. I plan to keep it between us until the baby is born so no one can give me grief about it - the first name is from a very popular teen book series, but that isn''t why I liked it. It''s a spin on my MIL''s name, and her middle name will be my moms middle name.

I can already hear people. ''You named her after a book character?''

My favourite names are all characters from my favourite books. Henry, Clare/Claire, James (Jamie), Roger....

Ok, maybe I can tell you people then...for a girl we chose Isabella Rose

But you know...Twilight. My MIL is Annabell and my moms middle name is Rose. I can''t figure out how to do the dads names together though...I am actually hoping to sway my husband into naming a boy Micah.

 

[packrat]

Monkey, Isabella Rose is a gorgeous name! It''s super feminine and pretty! I like Micah as well-is that the boy character from the books? (I''ve not read them yet)

 

[vespergirl]

We didn''t tell anyone our baby names before we had our son, because we weren''t decided, and didn''t actually pick is name until after he was born & we got to see him.

However, we did have a list of 10 names that we brought to the hospital with us (DH and I have different tastes). I''m glad that we didn''t tell anyone names before we actually had him, because both of our 1st choice names didn''t seem to "fit" him once we saw his face, and in fact we named him one of our middle name choices, which wasn''t even our first choice for a middle name, yet it fit him pefectly - go figure.

I did try to bounce one or two names off my mother when we found out we were having a boy, and she had some negative comments, so after that, we decided to keep our name choices to ourselves until after we had made it official. I think that''s the way to go.

Another ancdote that I''d like to share is when people try to call "dibs" on a name, which I think is totally silly. Two of my friends found out they were pregnant within weeks of each other, and both loved the name Samantha for a girl. One of the girls is kind of pushy, and immediately said, "if I have a girl, I''m naming her Samantha, so no one else can use it." The other girl confided in me that she always loved that name, but was now "afraid" to use it to not upset the other friend. As it turns out, she''s the one who had a girl, and the pushy girl was having a boy. She was STILL trying to call Samantha as "her name," even though she wouldn''t be able to use it during this pregnancy, or maybe ever. The second girl called me in dismay, still worried about using the name. I told her that it''s too bad, you got pregnant with a girl and she didn''t, so don''t feel bad about using the name - in fact, it wouldn''t have been the end of the world if they both had kids named Samantha - it''s not like it''s a unique name or anything. As it turned out, they ended up naming the baby something else, as they didn''t think Samantha "fit" the baby when they saw her, so pushy friend got her way after all. I guess the point of this story is, that unless it''s a completely unique name that the parents invented, I think it''s ridiculous for people to "call dibs" on a name. In a couple of years, your little Jacob or Emily will be in a kindergarten class full of other kids with the same name anyway

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 7/20/2009 4:17:04 PM
Author: packrat
Monkey, Isabella Rose is a gorgeous name! It''s super feminine and pretty! I like Micah as well-is that the boy character from the books? (I''ve not read them yet)

Thanks!

I liked that it was fairly normal - my name is a strange spelling and it drove me nuts as a child lol. Micah is from the Anita Blake book series, and is one of my favorite characters.

 

[packrat]

When I was pg w/our son, I wanted a Swedish name, and could only find 1 boys name I liked-Gunnar. JD thought people would have a hard time pronouncing it (Guh-NAR is what he figured they''d say) so we changed it to Gunner, and since JD likes guns, it was win win. We called him Gunner the whole pregnancy, and everyone knew that was the name..the last month, as it got closer to his birthdate, I started having weird feelings-I "felt" like he wasn''t a Gunner. I mentioned it to JD, and we decided to have an alternate name (we did w/London too-Ayla was our other name) and we both picked a name we''d bandied about years ago, and it felt right. Turns out our Gunner was in fact, a Trapper. Sometimes names just fit.

I love to hear the names people come up with!

 

[PinkTower]

Monkey,
I had an little girl in my class this year with both those names. It is pretty.
I had another little girl named Isabella, and next year I will have an Isabel.
You learn as a teacher not to throw out the carefully prepared nametags, because certain names are often repeated.
Actually, for the Isabel next year, I am just taking the scissors and cutting the la off of the Isabella labels.
Make sure you like the sound of your last initial a lot if you go with Isabella, because she may have to use it.
-Pink

 

[atroop711]

people will always be rude and give their unsolicited opinion. With each pregnancy, we told my parents and sibs..that's it. When it got closer to my due date, we told a few more ppl. So many ppl said why are you naming him NOAH isn't it a girls name? Ugh....

 

[4ever]

Date: 7/20/2009 12:59:53 PM
Author: princesss


My favourite names are all characters from my favourite books. Henry, Clare/Claire, James (Jamie), Roger....

Is the book ''The time travelers wife''? It''s one of my favourates and as a result I think those two names are so romantic and beautiful.

 

[D&T]

I really love the name Jack for a little boy''s name, DH loved it too and we wanted to add DH''s first name to the middle name. Here is the kicker, the name would have been Jack Daniel -

needless to say DH wouldn''t ever have that.