Are you missing a loved one for the holidays?

[hlmr]

I miss my Mom, as always, especially at this time of year. And although I have created my own traditions with my husband and son, Christmas is always kinda sad for me without her.

Just Julia, I am so sorry for the recent loss of your Mom...

...and my heart goes out to all that are missing their loved ones during the holiday season.

 

[lyra]

I''m so sorry Julia. I lost my mom to lung cancer 9 years ago. I lost my dad 22 years ago. We don''t have any family at all nearby, all of my husband''s family live 2000 miles away. I have a brother who lives 1000 miles away. It''s hard for both my husband and I on Christmas Eve, because it was the big day for his family to celebrate when we lived near them. For me it''s just kind of, I don''t know, different from most other people who do have family around. Like I feel the odd one out in that regard because of all the media playing up the big extended family things when we don''t have that at all.

 

[justjulia]

Date: 12/24/2007 8:41:54 PM
Author: hlmr
I miss my Mom, as always, especially at this time of year. And although I have created my own traditions with my husband and son, Christmas is always kinda sad for me without her.


Just Julia, I am so sorry for the recent loss of your Mom...

...and my heart goes out to all that are missing their loved ones during the holiday season.

Thank you. I think creating your own traditions is wonderful and touching.

 

[justjulia]

Date: 12/24/2007 8:44:17 PM
Author: lyra
I'm so sorry Julia. I lost my mom to lung cancer 9 years ago. I lost my dad 22 years ago. We don't have any family at all nearby, all of my husband's family live 2000 miles away. I have a brother who lives 1000 miles away. It's hard for both my husband and I on Christmas Eve, because it was the big day for his family to celebrate when we lived near them. For me it's just kind of, I don't know, different from most other people who do have family around. Like I feel the odd one out in that regard because of all the media playing up the big extended family things when we don't have that at all.

Wow. I am so sorry to hear about both of your parents. It sounds like you moved away from his family fairly recently. Can you travel to visit with them easily?

 

[diamondfan]

I am sorry for all those people who miss someone dear to them.

I still miss my dad who died in 1981 when I was 15.

We celebrate Hannukah, but this season overall is so much about family and loved ones and being close if you can be. So for anyone who is feeling pangs, I hope it is okay. The holidays can be tough. Missing someone who is gone is made tougher by the season.

At least they are not gone forever in our hearts...

 

[justjulia]

Steel, I just want to thank you for starting this thread. You are such a dear. It has been very comforting for me.
I am going to bed, but will look forward to reading more tomorrow. I hope you cope alright tomorrow alone--is there someone you can go hang out with for a couple of hrs? When I''m alone, I always end up starting a bunch of projects that don''t get finished--but the whole idea of "keeping in motion" seems to help. (The kind of motion I need to do is laundry! I feel like I''ve been so consumed with nursing home, and doctors and other mom issues, my house could use my undivided attention--I just need the motivation!)

 

[justjulia]

Date: 12/24/2007 9:10:10 PM
Author: diamondfan
I am sorry for all those people who miss someone dear to them.


I still miss my dad who died in 1981 when I was 15.


We celebrate Hannukah, but this season overall is so much about family and loved ones and being close if you can be. So for anyone who is feeling pangs, I hope it is okay. The holidays can be tough. Missing someone who is gone is made tougher by the season.


At least they are not gone forever in our hearts...

"At least they are not gone forever in our hearts..."--So true df. Losing a dad or either parent at 15 is especially tough.

 

[nebe]

I'm missing my mother.

I haven't spoken to her in almost six months except for once after I got into a car accident. I wish I had the strength to talk to her but I can't. Sometimes when I can't sleep I lay in bed and can't help but cry because I miss her so much. My mother isn't the same person she was when I was a child so I know even if I call her number, it's not the same person. It's such a complicated and difficult situation that I can't even explain it to people in a way that makes them understand but I'm working on it on my own. Maybe someday I'll have a relationship with her again but as of right now, it's my first Christmas without her.

 

[diamondfan]

JJ, I am now 42 and married with kids, but boy, I can still get so sad and miss him so much. He missed so much of my life. I know he would have loved his grandsons. I miss him a bit each day, even now, so I know how anyone who has lost a parent feels. I certainly expected him to pass before me, but not at 52 years old, suffering for years from cancer.

Anyone who is alone, I really hope you can hang with someone you like, even if they are not family! Or be cozy at home with some hot cocoa and a great book, or watch a great holiday movie (It''s a Wonderful Life comes to mind!)...to those who are alone tonight or tomorrow because your loved one is overseas or helping closer to home, you are sacrificing but for the greater good...God bless all of you.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/24/2007 9:18:58 PM
Author: nebe
I''m missing my mother.

I haven''t spoken to her in almost six months except for once after I got into a car accident. I wish I had the strength to talk to her but I can''t. Sometimes when I can''t sleep I lay in bed and can''t help but cry because I miss her so much. My mother isn''t the same person she was when I was a child so I know even if I call her number, it''s not the same person. It''s such a complicated and difficult situation that I can''t even explain it to people in a way that makes them understand but I''m working on it on my own. Maybe someday I''ll have a relationship with her again but as of right now, it''s my first Christmas without her.

Nebe - sorry to hear about your strained relationship with your mother. I can relate as my mom and I do not talk and it''s been 10 years since I''ve seen her and 5 since I''ve talked to her. It''s a horrible situation and she''s never even seen her grandchildren. I hope you and your mom are able to repair your relationship. (((HUGS)))

My dad is gone from my life, too. He passed away when I was 16, right after my birthday. It was devestating and because of how painful it was (and still is), I cannot handle a relationship with my family because they will not stop talking about my dad and it''s too hard for me to talk about ALL the time!

 

[Kaleigh]

JJ,
I am so sorry to hear your Mom has passed. I knew she was sick. My heart is with yours this holiday season. Such a tough time I'm sure.

nebe,
What to say. I'm not close with my Mom either. Selfish doesn't begin to describe her. BUT, have moved on being proud of the person I am and don't look back.

But there is always hope, so wishing good things ahead for you and for her.

 

[butterfly 17]

My grandmother passed away on Saturday. She was 85. Even though she was old, I didn''t expect her to go so suddenly and around this time of year.

My son Christopher was also admitted to the hospital on Christmas day 2006. I never saw him awake after that day and he died later on Feb. 23.

Sometimes I hate the holidays but other times I am so greatful to have a wonderful husband and two beautiful little girls.

 

[diamondfan]

Butterfly, I am so sorry. What a tragedy to lose a child. I also am sorry about your grandmother, another loss so near the holidays. You do have blessings too, but to lose a child, I simply cannot imagine.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 12/24/2007 3:55:16 PM
Author: Ellen

Date: 12/24/2007 3:27:35 PM
Author: Linda W
Oh God Ellen, I am bawling too. I miss him so much. He made the best margaritas on Christmas Eve. He loved his great grandchildren so much, they used to climb all over him.

I am so sorry for the loss of your dad too. My mom has never been the same, since my dad died. In face, she is crabby now.



Linda

I''m sorry Linda, I really do know how you feel.



My boys miss my dad so much too, especially my middle one. They were not only close, but hunting buddies as well. My son hasn''t gone, and won''t go since his ''pa pa'' died.

The absence of someone we love can change our lives in such a profound way....

Ditto...I miss my Father so much too, especially this time of year.

 

[strmrdr]

I''m missing my parents.
Dec 24th was my moms birthday.
She passed on in 98 and my Dad in 99 and the holidays are still rough.

Im also missing wifey2b who is 1300 miles away

 

[Steel]

Oh many, many hugs to you, JustJulia,

I will pray for you too.

Warm wishes for you in this very sad time, I too, am so sorry for the loss of your Mother.

You are right “at least they are not gone forever in our hearts...”, is the perfect sentiment isn’t it?

Thank you for thinking about me, but my troubles are inconsequential compared to the loss of a parent.

Blessings for you and your family for a happy 2008.

 

[Steel]

Hi Hlmr,

I am sorry you miss your Mom.

Enjoy the holidays with your husband and son, you must be very special to them, as your mom was to you.

 

[Steel]

Lyra,

I am sorry for the loss of your parents.

Of course a large family get together is ideal for most people, but it is quality time that counts, not the quantity of people. I hope you and your DH have a wonderful Christmas together.

 

[Steel]

Diamondfan,

It is such a shame your Dad died when you were little, I am sorry for your loss.

You couldn’t have put it better “At least they are not gone forever in our hearts...”.

Thank you for your thoughtful words.

 

[Steel]

Hi Nebe,

I understand. I suppose we never really grow out of needing a parent, the need softens as we grow older but I think it remains. It is hard to do the ‘right thing’ to protect yourself; you know what is right, nobody else. I am sorry things aren’t different for you and your Mother. Truly sorry. I feel this type of sadness most as it is closest to my situation and it does hit hard this time of year.

I will be thinking about you today [and your mother].

 

[Steel]

Hello MC,

I am sorry for your loss too. Sometimes talking helps. Sometimes it can be too much to bear.

As I said to Nebe, I understand this sadness. Not much more can be said on that is there? But please take a big internet hug from me. Things are the way they are, we can only change how we let them affect us.

 

[Steel]

Hi Kaleigh,

I am sorry you are not close to your Mother. I didn’t realise this type of sadness affected so many other people.

It is something I cannot talk about, nobody understands here. Perhaps it is a cultural thing; over here it is not done to speak badly of your parents. In theory I suppose it is right, but some circumstances are extraordinary and some families are just plain bad. I am talking about me here not you. But I do mean to share that I think I understand that emptiness and sorrow for what could have and should have been.

You have an admirable attitide. And there is no use crying over spilled milk. [Doesn''t mean we dont have a little cry now and then, though does it

]

 

[Steel]

Butterfly,

I am sorry for the loss of your Grandmother.

I am also very sad to learn that your son died this time last year. My heart breaks for this sadness.
Blessings too for you and your husband and your girls.

 

[Steel]

Morning Strmrdr,

I am sorry for the loss of your parents.

I understand why you would miss wifey2b, she seems like a true lady. Your time will come…

 

[Deelight]

I just want to say I feel for each and everyone on this thread holidays are some of the hardest times without loved ones.

I was missing my mum she died when I was 13 (she was 52) and today (Christmas Day) was also her birthday she would have been 67. My BF also lost his granddad earlier this year so this was the first one without him as well which was sad

To those that have recently lost someone it is hard but as time goes on you become better at coping with the loss and absence and when you think about your loved ones you laugh a little more along with the tears.

I also agree the people we love never die as long we keep them in our hearts , life is too beautiful and complex to disappear

 

[GoingCrazy]

I am a lurker who came out to post and I must say I miss my mom so much! She passed away 6 years ago from a avery short battle with gallblader cancer. It was only 3 months from diagnosis until she paseed. She was only 42. I spend the majority of every holiday bawling all day and christmas makes it twice as hard.
My dh for christmas this year gave me the sweetest thing that means more to me than anything. He got me a heart shaped locket and inside he put a picture of my mom and my son. He said he put the two most important people in my life inside and that way I would always have a picture of her close to my heart. Ok ending post now as I am getting teary.

 

[justjulia]

Date: 12/25/2007 11:07:12 AM
Author: GoingCrazy
I am a lurker who came out to post and I must say I miss my mom so much! She passed away 6 years ago from a avery short battle with gallblader cancer. It was only 3 months from diagnosis until she paseed. She was only 42. I spend the majority of every holiday bawling all day and christmas makes it twice as hard.

My dh for christmas this year gave me the sweetest thing that means more to me than anything. He got me a heart shaped locket and inside he put a picture of my mom and my son. He said he put the two most important people in my life inside and that way I would always have a picture of her close to my heart. Ok ending post now as I am getting teary.

That is one of the positively sweetest gestures I have ever heard--what a wonderful husband.

 

[Steel]

Hello Deelight,

Thank you for your warming post, it must help others to realise that the pain softens but the memories remain.

I am sorry for your and your Bf''s losses.

 

[Steel]

Welcome GC,

Thank you for posting here.

I think it helps others to know they are not alone in grief, especially at this time of merriment.

I am very sorry for the sudden loss of your mother to Cancer. Your husband sounds very thoughtful; the locket sounds like the perfect gift to remember your Mother and Son each time you wear it.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 12/24/2007 8:07:45 PM
Author: justjulia
My mother passed away this past Thursday night from a long bout with lung cancer. It''s been a difficult week/month/year.

Oh julia. {{{{HUG}}}}


You know, last week I seriously had a funny feeling about you, and wondered if something was wrong. I''m so sorry sweetie.

Knowing a bit about your mom, I can imagine the rollercoaster of emotions you are probably feeling right now. I wish we had PM''s, there''s more I''d like to say, but I don''t really want to say it publicly.

Just know that you are so much in my thoughts at this time. And if you ever want to talk publicly, just bump our thread. I''m there for you, always.

Please take care of yourself julia. {{{hugs}}}