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Are you happy?

ringbling17

ringbling17

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 14, 2003
Messages
2,856
On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you with your life? And what would have to happen to make it a 10? Or at least an 8?
I know I should be happy wth my life, but I feel like I'm missing something. I have a great job, I work part time in a field I've always loved, a beautiful house and nice cars. My husband is retired and now works part time two days a week as well. I have four kids who are all healthy and doing great in school. My husband is wonderful around the house and with the kids. I have all the jewelery I could want. I also just finished school last year and got my BSN.
Yet I feel unhappy! Like there's something missing?!?
 
I'm over the moon happy about some things and in despair about others.

I can't distill everything down to one number.
 
Personally I think two things bring depth and happiness in a person's life :
1- helping/physically working for people in need .
2-spirituality , being part of a religious group .
 
I think it depends on the day. Most days I am probably a 9. I think I'm pretty happy and wake up feeling grateful for the life I have. Kayla I have also felt the way you described which only made me feel worse because I really have a wonderful life. Is there anything going on that is bothering you? If this feeling doesn't pass quickly maybe you should consult you doctor to rule out depression. I've noticed as I've gotten older I have been dealing with anxiety much more than I was younger. I worry often about my extended family as there have been health issues this past year.

The past few days I have been very scared waiting for my medical tests results. The past week I have been really feeling out of sorts. I wish I could do something to ease Pinto's pain. There was also a story in our local news that has really upset me. I feel terrible for someone I will never meet and wish there was something to ease her pain as I know how hard her life will be in the coming months and it breaks my heart.
 
Yes I'm happy despite some external issues which are making me quite unhappy atm. I am still happy overall. I cannot assign a number to it per se but I have a general sense of well being and contentment despite noise that is happening externally. For example I might have to give up cycling due to issues with comfort that I cannot seem to remedy. That doesnt change my overall happiness feeling. But I am miserable at the thought of giving up cycling. I am not sure I am doing a good job at explaining what I mean but I just want to convey that happiness comes from within and you make it happen vs it happening to you if that makes sense. I feel like I might have started a similar thread a while back. Will search and see if I can find it and link it here in case it might be helpful.

(((HUGS))) to you Kayla and to everyone else struggling with life issues. Life isn't easy and no one gets out of it alive. I remind myself of that little fact when I start stressing about certain things. We are all going to die so let's make the best of the time we have here. LOL I hope that's not too morbid for you.:oops2: But it's true and it does make it easier (for me) when I am dealing with stuff to remember most of it is small stuff so don't sweat it! Easier said than done I know and believe me I struggle with it at times. (((HUGS))).
 
I would be very happy too if I had your avatar on my finger...:mrgreen:
 
Well. I'm not terribly unhappy if that helps...lol I've spent the last 11 months working 60+ hours a week which has been for lack of a better word, hellish. The last 3 months I've been worn out. I'm in desperate need of some real downtime.

but life continues.
 
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I found a deep sense of peace leaving religion, personally. Life centers around being the best person I can be with the short time I have.

Leaving my marriage was tough but I'm a lot happier having gone through it, and I hope he will be too.

Happiness is a slow burn for me. Some days are better than others. Some of my friends seem almost manic about achieving happiness, I'm content to take it a day at a time.
 
Elliott, I have always considered myself extremely lucky if I'm living a calm boring life by most people's standards. I went thru enough really bad things and drama in my younger years to realize a peaceful existence is pure bliss.
 
Elliot86 said:
Some of my friends seem almost manic about achieving happiness, I'm content to take it a day at a time.
Click to expand...

Good point.

IMO people should not feel they are supposed to be happy all the time.
Such pressure hardly contributes to happiness.

Life includes good days and bad days.
 
My life is better than bad. Some things are great, some things are good, some things are awful; it all balances out and varies. I can't put a number on it and I always keep in mind that I am as happy as I make up my mind to be.
 
I'm wondering if I'm bored? I was working three jobs and finishing school last year and my life was hectic but I loved it.
Now I am doing half the stuff I did last year, so maybe I need to find something fulfilling to get me motivated and active.
 
kenny said:
Good point.

IMO people should not feel they are supposed to be happy all the time.
Such pressure hardly contributes to happiness.

Life includes good days and bad days.
Click to expand...
Yes. Very good point. I'm puzzled bc I think I was happier when I was doing more last year!
 
kayla17 said:
Yes. Very good point. I'm puzzled bc I think I was happier when I was doing more last year!
Click to expand...

IMO happiness is wherever you find it, not where you've been taught it 'should' be.

X makes one person happy, but Y makes another person happy.
Tomorrow it may switch.

X can make you happy for years, but then you need Y, or Z.
I used to be deeply religious.

I think the key is to pay attention to yourself, and realize we are all free to change everything about our lives.
 
Calliecake said:
I think it depends on the day. Most days I am probably a 9. I think I'm pretty happy and wake up feeling grateful for the life I have. Kayla I have also felt the way you described which only made me feel worse because I really have a wonderful life. Is there anything going on that is bothering you? If this feeling doesn't pass quickly maybe you should consult you doctor to rule out depression. I've noticed as I've gotten older I have been dealing with anxiety much more than I was younger. I worry often about my extended family as there have been health issues this past year.

The past few days I have been very scared waiting for my medical tests results. The past week I have been really feeling out of sorts. I wish I could do something to ease Pinto's pain. There was also a story in our local news that has really upset me. I feel terrible for someone I will never meet and wish there was something to ease her pain as I know how hard her life will be in the coming months and it breaks my heart.
Click to expand...
I pray that your medical tests come back with positive results for you.
 
Thank you Kayla.
 
Abraham Lincoln said, "most folks are only as happy as they make up their minds to be." For me, happiness is about perspective. I spent most of my life looking at my glass as half empty. Now I am just glad to have something in the cup. My life is FAR from perfect but sadness is a rabbit hole I try to avoid.
 
I am the happiest I have been in many years.
My significant other loves me for who I am. We get along perfectly.
We have an older house, 2 cars that work, and 2 cats who bring us joy.
I don't have a high paying job, but I am frugal, so it's OK.
Somehow I have been able to amass a decent bling collection.
Some areas could use improvement, but in general, I am happy.
 
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Although there are stresses in life, overall I am content and happy with my lot, and would probably give it a 7.5.

DK :))
 
Lately I'd been struggling a bit with happiness - not that I am overly sad or unhappy, more just my plate was overloaded and that happiness was an after-thought. There was also a couple things happening in my professional life that were really starting to eat at me a bit as well. So I would have to have rated myself around a 5-6 or so for happiness.

Recently I have been listening to Professor Jordan Peterson from the University of Toronto give his talks on...well, everything to do with life. And to be honest hearing what he has to say has helped me HUGELY. He thinks on such a deep level that what he has to say can literally crush your entire self esteem at first glance, however he rebuilds you. After listening to his talks recently I have a renewed focus on my professional life and a different outlook to what I had a few months ago. I'd rate my happiness a 7 now, I've got work to do but I know I am on the right path now.
 
Actually had a conversation with the DH recently where we admitted neither one of us is happy where we live so we are planning to move to NC in four years. Not sure if the prospect of moving or just having a goal has motivated us and in turn we are happier but there is definitely a different vibe now.

On a good day, I give myself a 7 but I find I constantly question all aspects of my life and it probably eats up some happiness potential.
 
I think the wellness industry, internet, and media have a lot to answer for they sell us on the idea we need to obtain this almost glorified concept of "happiness" every day or our lives must be lacking something not to mention the fact many young people think they have to have new expensive disposable Kardashian type lifestyles to be "happy."

Life can be messy, ugly, beautiful, awe inspiring, mindlessly boring, and just plain unfair all in the one day. If anything my time on the planet has taught me is not to rate it, I just roll along with it.
 
StephanieLynn said:
Actually had a conversation with the DH recently where we admitted neither one of us is happy where we live so we are planning to move to NC in four years. Not sure if the prospect of moving or just having a goal has motivated us and in turn we are happier but there is definitely a different vibe now.

On a good day, I give myself a 7 but I find I constantly question all aspects of my life and it probably eats up some happiness potential.
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I've thought about this too. Maybe moving would be a good thing for us as well. We moved to South Jersey from NY five years ago and while we love our home and the area, I haven't made many new friends. We also don't have family near us and no one wants to travel down here to see us.
I also wasn't happy with my job(s) that I found when I first moved here but got stuck at one for a few years bc I signed up for their sign on bonus.
Then I tried two other hospitals to see if I would like it there, but again wasn't happy.
I finally found the perfect hospital for me now. Hours I want, shift I want and not too far from my house. Yet I'm constantly on the lookout.
If I had to give myself a score it would be a 5 or 6.
 
jordyonbass said:
Lately I'd been struggling a bit with happiness - not that I am overly sad or unhappy, more just my plate was overloaded and that happiness was an after-thought. There was also a couple things happening in my professional life that were really starting to eat at me a bit as well. So I would have to have rated myself around a 5-6 or so for happiness.

Recently I have been listening to Professor Jordan Peterson from the University of Toronto give his talks on...well, everything to do with life. And to be honest hearing what he has to say has helped me HUGELY. He thinks on such a deep level that what he has to say can literally crush your entire self esteem at first glance, however he rebuilds you. After listening to his talks recently I have a renewed focus on my professional life and a different outlook to what I had a few months ago. I'd rate my happiness a 7 now, I've got work to do but I know I am on the right path now.
Click to expand...
I'll have to look this Professor up to see what he's all about. Sounds very interesting!
 
kayla17 said:
I'll have to look this Professor up to see what he's all about. Sounds very interesting!
Click to expand...

He is at the forefront of a big debate about freedom of speech and gender identity, however he has many other talks on other stuff as well - he is almost a life coach now for many people. I've literally come into work today and had one of the most enjoyable days I have had since starting here simply for the fact that it has helped me align my life's priorities the way I WANT them rather than what I think they should be.

He is very engaging when he speaks, he does not sugar coat the truth but presents it in a way that gives the listener options. Myself and many people from the world over have screamed for someone like him for a long time without even knowing we were screaming for him.
 
I'm quite content with my life. Yes, life will always throw a curve ball however I am putting it into perspective daily. I always look at my glass half full rather than half empty. Count my blessings daily and realize that there are many people who would love to be in my shoes. Anything I deal with, they're mostly "first world" problems. Overall, my life is quite lovely.
 
Currently, a five or so.
We all are healthy and our extended family is healthy or holding their own, so that is a 9/10.
Our girls are doing well. DD1 just graduated from college and is actively job hunting, so 10.
DD2 is in her last week of high school, has in the last week, enjoyed celebrating successes, both academic and extra-curricular, and is heading to UC Santa Cruz, so 10.
But, DH was laid off in January and after four months of worry, has accepted a job across the country, 3000 miles away from what has been our home for 10 year and I wanted to be forever. The job is actually in our home state, so we'll be near extended family, but: DD2 is going to school in-state and DD1 has returned and wants to make this her home, at least for the next year or two (until she goes on to grad school.) so.....2.5.
Average, because the last part is weighted...5?
 
I forgot to mention what would make it a 10!

I start a new job on 03 July 2017, and am about to take delivery of a brand new car, and have concerns about finances due to excesses in the past year.

However I have sitten down and analysed my income and outgoings and know what needs to done in order to steer the my financial situation back on track. It will take a good year or two to get rid of the debts, however it can be done and I don't have to sacrifice too much.

This will add another 2 to make it 9.5.

Sharing my limited spare time with a gentleman friend for some fun and laughter would make up for the last 0.5, however it would be like cherries on top of a very nice cake, so I am not too bothered about it.

DK :))
 
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