Are you/FF planning on changing your name(s)?

[ladypirate]

Hi lovely LIWs! I''ve been thinking about the whole name change thing recently and thought it might be fun to do a poll to see what you and your FF are planning to do when you get married! (Already married ladies, please feel free to answer as well!)

 

[FrekeChild]

Woot! I answered in the other thread, but I''ll answer here too.

I will take his name. My initials will be EW. Lovely. And I will have 2 middle names, being that my last name is a pretty common girl first name anyway!

 

[ladypirate]

There was also supposed to be an "other" option, since I don''t actually fall into any of these categories! Doh!

We will be exchanging names so that we both become FirstName MiddleName MyLast HisLast. It''ll mean we both have four names, but I like this option. Sort of like hyphenating without the hyphen. He''s agreed that we can pass both names down to our kidlets if we have any as well, so yay!

 

[HopeDream]

I will be changing my last name to his because I like his name, it sounds good, and it''s much easier to spell.

In addition to the pure mechanics of it, I like the idea of a married couple as being a unit and having the solidarity of a shared name.

I also used to work at a place where I met lots of different families and their children and found it was much easier to keep track of who''s who when the family shares a common name.

I hope it will make travelling abroad much easier.

 

[FrekeChild]

I like the option you chose LP!!! Very cool. FI is really laid back about it, but I think that my dad would be offended if I didn''t take FI''s name. I have two nephews to carry on with my name, and FI has two nephews to carry on with his name. So no real pressure from either of our families in that regard.

I''ve actually spent a fair amount of time thinking about this.

 

[IloveAsschers13]

I like the idea that when we get married we start a new family together as well. But I am happy to not have to keep my dad''s name, as mean as that sounds!

 

[somegirl932]

I will be changing my name because a) it is a huge hassle (doesn''t have enough vowels) and b) I have a brother to carry it on.

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 3/21/2009 9:12:34 PM
Author: FrekeChild
I like the option you chose LP!!! Very cool. FI is really laid back about it, but I think that my dad would be offended if I didn''t take FI''s name. I have two nephews to carry on with my name, and FI has two nephews to carry on with his name. So no real pressure from either of our families in that regard.


I''ve actually spent a fair amount of time thinking about this.

Thanks! I''m pretty psyched about it. I ended up selecting hyphenation on the poll just because that is the closest option. Actually, most of my friends irl are probably not going to be changing their names and one of their FIs is actually taking her name, so it''s interesting to get a more global perspective.

 

[FrekeChild]

I remembered one of the main reasons I'm changing my name (I think we've talked a little bit about this before LP) is that I'm tired of people asking for my last name and when I give it they say, "No your LAST name." Like I'm stupid. To which my reply is, "That IS my LAST name."

Ugh.

ETA: I think most of my friends will change their names. Eh well...

 

[ilovesparkles]

I''m taking his name! My good friends changed their names completely. They both converted to Judaism, and he is Colombian and she is blonde haired and blue eyed and didn''t want a Spanish last name. So they decided on an Israeli/Hebrew last name. It was pretty cool I thought, but their parents were really upset!

 

[Octavia]

At this point, we haven't come to a final decision. The two options are that neither of us will change, or both will change in some fashion (also undecided). Unfortunately, our last names are SO different that we haven't been able to come up with a melded name that works. We've also thought about doing something similar to you, LP, and each of us keeping our own name but adding the other's, as well -- but if we do this, we'll probably keep our own last names and take a second middle.

The only thing that's not an option at this point is one of us changing while the other does nothing. FI has some name recognition, professionally, so it would disadvantage him to change it (even if he kept it professionally but changed it otherwise, it would cause untold hassles with contracts and W-9s and stuff). I've NEVER planned to take my spouse's name, and his name is almost impossible for Americans (or anyone who doesn't speak his native language) to pronounce. And I know that I would always be resentful about changing my name if it isn't something we both undertake together, which is no way to start a marriage.

Realistically, we'll probably both keep our names as they are now. Ideally, we'll both become First / Middle Spouse'sLast / OriginalLast. We'll see.

ETA: regardless of what we do with our names, our kids will be First / NormalMiddle MyLast / HisLast. I feel bad about cursing them with my last name as a middle, but I think that having my last as part of their name will make international travel much easier, and since most of FI's family lives abroad, that's a real concern.

 

[ilovesparkles]

Date: 3/21/2009 9:12:43 PM
Author: IloveAsschers13
I like the idea that when we get married we start a new family together as well. But I am happy to not have to keep my dad''s name, as mean as that sounds!

I feel the exact same way! I don''t want my father''s name any longer, and have been waiting to get rid of it for years!

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 3/21/2009 9:27:13 PM
Author: Octavia
At this point, we haven''t come to a final decision. The two options are that neither of us will change, or both will change in some fashion (also undecided). Unfortunately, our last names are SO different that we haven''t been able to come up with a melded name that works. We''ve also thought about doing something similar to you, LP, and each of us keeping our own name but adding the other''s, as well -- but if we do this, we''ll probably keep our own last names and take a second middle.


The only thing that''s not an option at this point is one of us changing while the other does nothing. FI has some name recognition, professionally, so it would disadvantage him to change it (even if he kept it professionally but changed it otherwise, it would cause untold hassles with contracts and W-9s and stuff). I''ve NEVER planned to take my spouse''s name, and his name is almost impossible for Americans (or anyone who doesn''t speak his native language) to pronounce. And I know that I would always be resentful about changing my name if it isn''t something we both undertake together, which is no way to start a marriage.


Realistically, we''ll probably both keep our names as they are now. Ideally, we''ll both become First / Middle Spouse''sLast / OriginalLast. We''ll see.


ETA: regardless of what we do with our names, our kids will be First / NormalMiddle MyLast / HisLast. I feel bad about cursing them with my last name as a middle, but I think that having my last as part of their name will make international travel much easier, and since most of FI''s family lives abroad, that''s a real concern.

I definitely thought about doing something more like what you''re talking about (both of us adding the other''s name as a second middle and keeping our own last), but my name flows a lot better with my last name first and since I will probably be using both relatively regularly, I think that''s the way to keep it.

The only downside of doing this is that our names rhyme, so it will end up being something along the lines of Telly Tankamelly (names obviously changed). Tankamelly Telly just doesn''t have the same ring to it.

And yeah, Freke, I totally hear you on the last name thing. What can I say, though, I like my last name! I identify strongly with my heritage and I feel like by switching completely to his very Italian last name, I''d be losing some of that.

 

[Octavia]

If it works for you, that''s what you should do! I''m just hoping that my FI and I come to a consensus before the wedding...only seven months left to figure it out

 

[kittybean]

Looks like I''m the only one so far who has voted that neither of us will change. He doesn''t want to change his name. I don''t want to change my name (like LP, I identify strongly with my heritage, and my last name represents that to me). So no one is changing. My friends think I''m nuts because I have a very long, unpronounceable Eastern European name, but I''ve grown to love it over the last 25 years, and I can''t imagine giving it up. I may change my mind in the future, but for now, our names are remaining as they are.

 

[caribqueen]

I will take his name and change it officially, but I will continue to use my last name professionally (I work in tv and I think it''s weird to change once you''re already established). I''ve worked with women who had to change BACK to their maiden name while on air because their ex''s didn''t want them to use the name anymore. Not that I think that will be my fate, but it gets too fishy. Plus, I like the idea of having the professional world and personal world separate.

 

[LabRatPhD]

I voted that SO and I will not change our names once we are married. I would like to keep mine for professional reasons. I may change my mind later on in life, but for now, we are comfortable with neither changing our names.

 

[misskitty]

Date: 3/21/2009 9:31:05 PM
Author: ilovesparkles

Date: 3/21/2009 9:12:43 PM

Author: IloveAsschers13

I like the idea that when we get married we start a new family together as well. But I am happy to not have to keep my dad''s name, as mean as that sounds!

I feel the exact same way! I don''t want my father''s name any longer, and have been waiting to get rid of it for years!

Same here! I love my family, but my last name is super long and difficult to pronounce, and I can''t wait to trade it in for something a little easier.

 

[audball]

I will be taking SO''s name, I''m not close to my family or my father and can''t wait to be rid of this common family name.

 

[mrscushion]

I am taking his name...it''s a tradition I like, it''s easier, and quite frankly I like his last name better than mine. I haven''t decided on whether to take my maiden name as my new middle name or not. We''ll see.

 

[killerqueen17]

I'm really quite attached to my last name. However, out of respect to him and his family, I'm planning on taking his name, and maybe keeping mine as a 2nd middle name or something.

I thought of just keeping my name, for a bit... but then I realized that our kids would most likely have his last name, and I didn't want to be the only oddball, lol!

If one day he suddenly decides he wants to take my name, though, I wouldn't object... but I'm not holding my breath

 

[choro72]

I''m keeping my maiden name officially. Mine is so much cooler! FI''s name is an equivalent of "Smith" in English. If mine was also a common name I wouldn''t hesitate to take his. My DL, SSCard, Passport, W2s, Diploma, all will be my maiden name.
But when I introduce myself socially or write letters, it will be "Mrs. HisLastName"

 

[bee*]

I''m going to change mine as I like the idea of doing that once we get married. I probably won''t change it in college though as it would just be a big hassle.

 

[idreamofcushions]

I love the idea of taking his last name. What can I say, I''m a big ole traditionalist! We both have pretty common last names, so it won''t be a big deal. I''ll just be switching from an Irish last name (from my grandpa whose 100%) to a German one, but since I look like my mom (who''s Colombian/Italian) neither name really fits me! Luckily both sound pretty generic. I will miss the fact that my fist and last name currently have 7 letters each bc I like how it flows. But other than that...meh.

LP - I love your idea! Very cool.

 

[icet]

I''ve been married for a few years now and neither of us changed our names. I said it was for professional reasons but really I do love my last name and am proud of it. It''s worked out fiine most of the time, just wanted to give a heads up about not changing it though, I end up explaining alot to people that I did not change my name. Sometimes it''s because of billing or adding him to my health insurance etc. or most of the time it''s when my parents'' friends or inlaws'' friends will see our last names on invites or something and then they will look at me scandalously and say " I thought you were married!" or they will just call me Mrs. his last name if they don''t really know me. I don''t mind because if I don''t know you then it''s not worth it to explain or other times I just accept the fact that I will tell this person for the 100th time that I am married.

Plus my MIL doesn''t accept the fact that I didn''t change my name, she introduces me to her friends as ice mylastname - hislastname but to keep the peace I just keep my mouth shut!

But again, I love my last name and it will be mine till the end and I haven''t regretted it

 

[laughwithme]

I will take his name. It''s something that I am sooo looking forward to - I will be Mrs. XXXX and totally can''t wait! Actually, my first name with his last name sounds so classy, and friends have told me it sounds like something out of Wuthering Heights. Yay!

 

[sammyj]

We're both keeping our names as well. To be perfectly honest, his last name isn't the 'prettiest.' It's German and it's just...not me. We're also of different ethnicities so I'd like to hold onto that part of my heritage. I also don't want to run into the Donna Chang situation a la Seinfeld, you know?

.
Lastly, I'm one of 3 girls in my family...we have no brothers to carry on our name.

We considered hyphenating but our names together they sounded like we were a country duo.

Edited to make sense.

 

[idreamofcushions]

Date: 3/22/2009 11:29:11 AM
Author: laughwithme
I will take his name. It''s something that I am sooo looking forward to - I will be Mrs. XXXX and totally can''t wait! Actually, my first name with his last name sounds so classy, and friends have told me it sounds like something out of Wuthering Heights. Yay!

That is so awesome! Wuthering Heights is one of my favorite novels (right after Pride and Prejudice, lol)

 

[jcarlylew]

i''ll take my name, and drop my last name, or keep it as an initial only (my mother did that). but we''ll be using family names on my side (and his as well) in our childrens names

 

[IloveAsschers13]

Date: 3/21/2009 11:06:50 PM
Author: misskitty

Date: 3/21/2009 9:31:05 PM

Author: ilovesparkles

Date: 3/21/2009 9:12:43 PM


Author: IloveAsschers13


I like the idea that when we get married we start a new family together as well. But I am happy to not have to keep my dad''s name, as mean as that sounds!

I feel the exact same way! I don''t want my father''s name any longer, and have been waiting to get rid of it for years!

Same here! I love my family, but my last name is super long and difficult to pronounce, and I can''t wait to trade it in for something a little easier.

Maybe I should clarify- I don''t want to have my dad''s last name because I really don''t like what is stands for. I like how there is my Irish Heritage in it, but with the amount of issues there have been with my uncles on my dad''s side, I don''t really want to be associated with it. Ex: Jail time for numerous people, money problems.... etc. But I love my BF''s last name, because it''s his!