Are you allowed to grieve for your pets at work?

[charbie]

i''m sooooo soooooo sorry about the loss of your cat. it isn''t right to have been treated that way by a supervisor.

i know you''re grieving, and like others have said, make sure to take the time to grieve before making any rash decisions. the cold nature of your supervisor obviously is magnified by your loss.

to answer your questions, we don''t get bereavement over the loss of a pet, just close family members, and even then it comes out of your PTO and is 3 days.

i''m so blessed though, that my boss would have told me to get home and take the time i needed to heal. i work in an environment where people die constantly- sometimes we all need a time away from it to not get burned out! shoooot- when my dog ate my shoes before my wedding and my dress wasn''t done and i had a million things come up last minute, she told me that obviously i wasn''t going to be productive at work, so go take care of what i needed to and come back later in the day so i could concentrate!

 

[setell]

Thank you all for your understanding and support. Losing my kitty is the hardest thing that’s happen to me so far in my life. I’ve never experience a death with a loved one and it’s hard to deal with her death. Whether it’s a human or a pet it’s hard to let go. I am upset at how incompassionate folks here are. It does not make coming into work and seeing these people for 8hrs a day any easier too. Funny thing, most are pet owners themselves too so I never really understood why they are the way they are. My VP even has a diabetic cat she has to inject it with insulin EVERYDAY via needles. It’s as if I am just too emotional and I work with zombies. I really do not fit in here!

I won’t put in my notice just yet but I am getting very very close to my exploding point. It’s not just this one time issue that this company peeve me off but a 1.5 year problem. Basically since I started here. I really miss my old job so much since I had great co-workers (exact opposite here) I could lean on. I’ve signed up with a few hiring agency’s to see if they can help me get a job faster as me applying directly has been no good or else I’ve found a new job already! If it seriously wasn’t for the market crash and recession I would have found a job way before I got to this near exploding point. ‘sigh’ what can you do. At least my FI is amazing and told me to quit as we don’t need the money to still have the same standard of living but I want to work to help save for a down payment to a house faster.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Setell, I''m so sorry about your kitty! ((((HUGS))))

Our Great Dane, Caesar, passed away back in April. We lost him on a Sunday, and I just could not go to work the next day. I was a total wreck and I just couldn''t do it. So I e-mailed all the girls at my office (I work for a small law firm) to let them know what happened, and that I wouldn''t be in that day. I didn''t call because I didn''t think I could be coherent on the phone. Our firm allows each of us five personal days per year, to be used for whatever we need them for (sick time, bereavement, vacation or whatever). Those five personal days are in addition to our vacation time. So I used a personal day, and everyone was very understanding except for one of the attorneys. He made some sort of comment to our office manager about how he didn''t think I really needed the day off just because my dog died.

She''s an animal person so, needless to say, she gave him an earful!

When I came back to work the next day, the attorney who made the comment actually asked me how I was doing, so maybe he rethought his opinion? I hope so. The rest of the staff (not the attorneys) got me a beautiful sympathy card. I guess maybe I''m just lucky to work at a company that acknowledges the fact that pets are actually family members and that people DO need to grieve for them. But I honestly don''t understand how anyone could see it any other way! Besides, as others have mentioned, I''m sure a manager wouldn''t want a distraught employee trying to deal with clients/customers, so why not give that person a little space? It''s great that your manager allowed you to take the rest of the day off, but I think she could have reacted a bit more appropriately and shown some sympathy when you told her what was going on. I''m sorry.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Setell, I''m so incredibly sorry to hear about your cat

, and I agree that it seems insensitive not to acknowledge why you left for the day. But people are people, and some don''t want to bring it up for fear of you falling to pieces again, and some just don''t understand what it''s like to lose a beloved pet.

My parents waited a few weeks to tell me about our family dog having to be put down. I had been having a miserable week and was just fried emotionally when I called to talk to them (I don''t live in the same state), and they didn''t want to add to my devastation. I think timing is everything, and right now, it''s incredibly fresh, so I can understand their reluctance to bring up your personal life in the work environment.

I once worked for a company like yours, and I started hitting recruiters hardcore to look for another job as soon as I reached that breaking point. I felt like flipping the bird to my former management team when I signed the offer letter with my current company. Just keep your head down, look for another employment opportunity, and know that when you finally find that right *fit*, you''ll be happier than you ever were at your current company!