Are you a spender?

[Elizabeth35]

Not a spender. DH has called me the opposite of a gold digger--a gold burier-lol.
I like watching my investments grow and joke that I like collecting money and real estate.
He gets excited if I spend money and I have learned to not point out things I like as he will instantly buy them for me.
We have a big anniversary coming up so I need to decide what I would like and drop the appropriate hint. He is incredibly generous and would seriously not balk at anything I ask for. I am thinking of a nice strand of pearls---like, South Seas.

 

[missy]

I am enjoying the responses.

I asked my husband if I am a spender, because in my mind he most definitely is not. He said that I am not a spender but he thinks he is!!
He classifies his hobby as a car collector as being ‘spend-y.’ I do the same with jewelry, but otherwise, I guess neither of us are spenders even though we now could be.We actually just love a good value. Neither of us need much to make us happy.
So I think we all have our own definition of what being a spender or not looks like.

It was an interesting and fun discussion for us.

Lol I just asked my dh and he said he doesn’t consider me a spender. Wow. Ok. I gotta get cracking then.

 

[Slickk]

Lol I just asked my dh and he said he doesn’t consider me a spender. Wow. Ok. I gotta get cracking then.

THAT’S exactly what I thought!!

 

[yssie]

I spend money on jewelry, concerts, theater, good food and vacations. I save a lot and spend on the above when I feel I can. I don't put much money into cars, clothes, or eating out.

I hate hate HATE shopping for clothes. All clothes. Underclothes, tops, bottoms, outerwear. Once every three or four years I will drag myself out to Nordstrom, find a few necessities that fit, and buy five of each to hold me for the next few years... This delighted my other half when he first met me - he thought he'd finally found a low maintenance woman... Poor fellow was in for some surprises

The upshot is that I never throw clothes away, because I fluctuate between sizes pretty dramatically - I really might need those size X or Y or Z pants next summer

 

[bling_dream19]

I hate hate HATE shopping for clothes. All clothes. Underclothes, tops, bottoms, outerwear. Once every three or four years I will drag myself out to Nordstrom, find a few necessities that fit, and buy five of each to hold me for the next few years... This delighted my other half when he first met me - he thought he'd finally found a low maintenance woman... Poor fellow was in for some surprises

The upshot is that I never throw clothes away, because I fluctuate between sizes pretty dramatically - I really might need those size X or Y or Z pants next summer

Good idea on buying in multiples! My sister and mom do that. I should but I don't like to spend the money teehee.
I do enjoy buying dresses and usually buy a dress or 2 each year.
My sister calls me money motivated. I have also worked very hard to always have money. I can't stand not having money. When we were kids my sister would have to borrow money from me because I always had it.
This is a good thread!

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

LOL @bling_dream19 my sister always came to me for $$ also! I was a great saver from a young age--my Dad really encouraged it and would match my savings so that was a great incentive. I always made sure I deposited 90% of earnings and kept a bit of spending $$. By the time I was 20 I had a sizable bank account and plenty of jewellery, clothes and other stuff. Car. I think I was quite a catch!

Fast forward--My DH allowed his MOther dictate how we spent our money--criticizing our spending so he became a bit miserly. I worked and earned so I resented this and put a stop to that interference--I knew how to manage $$. Anyway as we paid off our house quickly DH started to enjoy the fruits of our labour a little more. Ironically when we were going to buy a new SUV last year, I was the one to say no. I think my DH was a bit peeved! But he just retired so I couldn't justify it since he no longer drives to work and my car is newish.

cheers--Sharon

 

[Dandi]

I'm another selective spender... I go to the hairdresser once every 6 months just for a trim (no split ends here, phew!), never get any sort of cosmetic stuff, no tans, waxes, nails etc. I have friends who regularly get botox, and the cost makes me cringe! That said, very few of them would ever spend what I have on jewellery. I love clothes too, and only occasionally buy reasonably pricey, really nice items that will last, as I prefer to have fewer, quality pieces, rather than lots of stuff. My fun money usually gets saved for a new piece of jewellery once or twice a year, but as there's nothing currently on my wish list, the next thing will be a new pair of over-the-knee winter boots. And I ADORE buying clothes for my kids!

 

[Polished]

Thank you for all these interesting replies. I've loved reading these different perspectives. I've taken on the "selective spending" and "periodic spending" although I think we fit more into the "we want our cake and eat it too" category. Originally we bought a sizable house in a desirable area and in addition had three children and various pets and too many cars! Hot mess. We definitely lived beyond our means despite good salaries. Sometimes bankcards were frighteningly high and it would all give you that sinking feeling. I guess we must have saved in some ways I just can't think of them now.

Just lately though things seems to be looking up. All three children are grown up, left home and getting established in good careers. Now with lockdown we're not paying nearly as much in petrol and car parking fees and a lot of other expenses seem to have disappeared too. Even the odd takeaway isn't denting the finances too badly. I've also really got all the jewelry that keeps me happy. Smaller pleasures seem to be making me happier right now. I've just opened a new quite good quality moisturizer and I'm just loving it after having finished a cheap one that didn't suit.

We hung in tough and kept the house. We couldn't love it more and the lovely walks it provides for us and our two dogs. Not sure our children will do the things the same way - I wouldn't blame them if they didn't.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I am a spender but my wife is a saver since she was young. I can't remember the last time she spent a dime on herself.

 

[whitewave]

I would say I’m a discriminating spender when I want to.

I hate Knick knacks and generally prefer not to have a lot of STUFF around. Like for instance, I’m working on pairing down my makeup and women’s things. I want to get my make up and hair products down to the same 5-6 items etc.

When I do buy, I will spend days researching prices and will make purchases based on if I feel it’s a deal or not. There is, of course, the very very occasional “I have to have it no matter what it costs” item.

I’m done buying purses and shoes. I keep a limited amount of clothes and try to purge them every 2-3 years or so for a new batch.

Really, I also feel like I’m nearly done buying jewelry. As I told DH, I don’t want ALL the jewelry in the world.

So right now, I would consider myself a low spender. Like my big purchases this week were: upgrade my CBI which I thought was a deal— going from .64 to 1.07 for +2100. And I just bought 3 bathrooms worth of new towels for about $300, all like 50% off from Macy’s.


Edited: we don’t carry debt and our house is nearly basically paid off. We never upgraded the house from a 4 bedroom, 3 bath less than 3,000 sqft and since our kids are all at university now, I’m delighted we didn’t go for the 5,000 sqft house with the 6 acre lot and pool, tennis courts and outdoor Viking kitchen house I looked at like 10 years ago.

 

[prs]

@Bron357 'Selective spender' I like that and am probably in this camp too. I am generally very careful with money, hunting out deals, saving on bills and utilities etc. I come from a working class background and have had to work very hard and save to get to where I am now financially.
.......and i enjoy sparklies and see them as both a treat and an investment!

I was raised in a Rochdale council house, so we have a lot in common. Except, of course, that I'm from the more beautiful side of the Pennines!

 

[GliderPoss]

I've always been a saver but was married to an epic spender - caused a LOT of friction especially as we didn't have the cash to burn. Now I'm divorced I live entirely debt free with selective spending on things I value (like bling! ). I try to spend money on quality items that will last a long time and on experiences like going skiing - not on silly little things soon forgotten.

 

[joelly]

I’m definitely not a spender. I saved and saved and saved and saved. When I actually buy something, hubby needs to approve it, otherwise I’ll either suffer from buyer’s remorse or hate my purchase.

Hubby said it’s a psychological issue that I have. He encourages me to spend on things that I love and try not to feel guilty about being happy.

who knows maybe someday I will.

 

[Niffler75]

@prs Cheeky monkey. I can see the Pennines from where I live and Yorkshire side is definitely more pleasing to the eye!

 

[prs]

@prs Cheeky monkey. I can see the Pennines from where I live and Yorkshire side is definitely more pleasing to the eye!

You might have a point, as a kid Hardcastle Crags was my favourite place for a day out.

However I don't think you can beat the beauty of our 100+ year old Lancashire cotton mill chimneys, and we have zillions of them!

 

[Niffler75]

@prs I absolutely love the old mill buildings! I live in one of the mill workers houses built in around 1905!
It makes me sad that there are so many of these old industrial buildings laying empty!

Joking aside, hope you are well! x

 

[Tekate]

As is @yssie I despise buying clothes, I too will buy 5 different colors of the same shirt and wear them till they die. I will search the web for hours to ensure I am not overpaying for anything, BUT when I want an item and we together think it's worth the money, I"ll buy. I am a diamond lover and a purse lover, I always think I'm done buying both then something catches my eye.

I can honestly say I give my kids more money than I ever spend on us.. especially my first son. My second son makes cheap look expensive, getting him to spend a penny is hard.. but then again he could at 28 pay cash for a house since he's a saver/investor.

My husband is a better saver than I am, but he always made way more money than I did.

We travelled a lot when we first retired, I really loved seeing the world but ALWAYS got sick somewhere so I KNOW I'm not going anyway anymore except throughout the US to see my son and niece and nephew.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I'm also a discriminating spender. Usually don't like to to buy small ticket items....but when I DO spend, it's usually a few hundred dollars to a few thousand dollars. I also feel that I don't buy things that are frivolous "wants", they are usually things that the whole family would enjoy. I usually tell Dh about my spending after the fact because I work hard for my money, and I don't feel like I need to ask for permission to put it towards things that are important to me. So If I donate $500 here and there to people or charities that need it, I tell him after the fact, and if I buy furniture, appliances that I want for the house, I tell him when they are about to be delivered.

 

[lyra]

Glad I'm not alone in buying 3 different colours of the same thing. I wouldn't say I'm a spender, but I am a virtual shopper. I research purchases before I go out and look at anything. I really dropped the ball on picking out my car though. I chose wrong. Great car, just too big for me to ever feel comfortable. Hard pill to swallow.

 

[Queenie60]

I am a selective spender. My husband is the investor/saver. Had it not been for his frugalness, we wouldn't be where we are today. However, in my late 50's, he enjoys watching me spend the fruits of his labor. I enjoy designer clothing, designer shoes and bling. Needless to say, I would not spend what we don't have. We're enjoying!

 

[Lilith112]

I'm also a discriminating spender. Usually don't like to to buy small ticket items....but when I DO spend, it's usually a few hundred dollars to a few thousand dollars.

Lol that's me! I think I buy less in a year than my bf by number of items, but my spend value is double or triple what he spends easily. The only times he surpasses my individual spend is on electronics/gadgets.

Overall though, I'd say I'm a work in progress in terms of shifting from spending to saving. For example, I'll buy branded clothing 3-4 times a year, but only through consignment/vintage shops. While the price per spend isn't cheap-cheap, I usually wait until the price is like 1/10th or less of retail value before buying. Or maybe that's because now I'm collecting gemstones and need to save up for them lol!

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I like nice things, I’m not a minimalist by any stretch of the imagination. I like quality, I like to look well put together. I love handbags, and nice shoes, and classy clothes, and scarves, and jewelry (especially jewelry). I also love good quality ingredients (I prefer to cook at home but I will do it with the grass fed, free range, organic stuff). However, I like having a healthy bank account as well, so I am very strict with my budgeting. Investing and saving will always come first. I don’t believe in accumulating debt to make luxury purchases.

I never bought myself nice things until I could afford them, and now that I can, I adhere to a strict budget in order to make sure my goals and future will not be impacted by my love for luxuries.