Are Vendors justified hating PSers?

[arkieb1]

As most of you will be aware a couple of well known diamond vendors have posted things stating or suggesting PSers annoy them. A few coloured stone vendors have now joined in with one notably putting policies on his new website aimed specifically at Psers (not everyone else).

I've sold probably around 50 things privately over a number of years I've been on here via LT and on IG and I've run into 3 Psers I never want to deal with again. Most of the PSers have asked a lot of questions, wanted a lot of photos, some have been rude, some have made lowball offers of which I generally just ignore. Most are nice well meaning decent people that simply want value for their hard earned dollars.

Some of the complaints vendors have made about PSers is that we ask for too many photos, we return stones, and some people return too many stones. Is asking for a lot of photos irrespective of pricing taking up too much of vendor's time and unreasonable? I personally think, if you are spending over a thousand dollars it's fair to ask for more photos in fact even if you are spending a few hundred, I don't find that unreasonable.

The fact PSers encourage people to do so rather than like the good old days (for vendors) of just accepting anything just because a vendor says it's O.K I think isn't unreasonable either, but a number of vendors are now labelling PSers as troublemakers for asking for more photos, for encouraging other PSers to ask for more photos, and for purchasing, or encouraging other members to purchase more than one stone at a time often from more than one vendor to be able to select the best option. It happens on the diamond forum and the coloured stone forum.

I've seen comments on FB that out in the retail world people don't buy lots of things and send them back again, which I dispute, because, when I online shop for clothing and I don't go into a store I will buy several items of a different size and return the ones I don't want. I've never done that with jewellery or gemstones, but clearly some people do....

So where is the balance between finding decent jewellery and stones if you are fussy and you want to buy something that is a decent quality, and not upsetting vendors to the point they are writing PSers should be avoided. Are PSers asking too much of vendors?

And I want to add I didn't start this post to bash specific vendors, I've left the names of vendors out of it, it would be nice to have a civil discussion on what is and isn't an appropriate expectation as a customer to have with levels of service versus the expectations or value of the time of vendors.....

 

[Polabowla]

I agree with you; how many times do I buy clothes/shoes/whatever online and send alot back bec it doesn't fit or look good ?
I specifically will spend more if the store has a great return policy like zappos, Nordstrom etc because I know I need it w online shopping

 

[Dancing Fire]

Yes, Some PSers are PITB to deal with... .I'm sure some of the vendors would love to slap a few PSers across the face...

 

[kenny]

Vendors vary.
They're people.

Buyers vary too, and vote with their money.

 

[kenny]

Yes, Some PSers are PITB to deal with... .I'm sure some of the vendors would love to slap a few PSers across the face...

But nobody's holding a gun to their heads while they gladly take our money.

Niceness is ultimately BS.
Good gems at fair prices is where the rubber meets the road.
The rest is fluff.

 

[Matata]

Before online shopping became a big thing, I'd go into a couple of jewelry stores and ask them to bring in stones and then contrast and compare the stones, prices, and customer service from those stores. I have no idea if they assumed shoppers did that but surely they were aware of their closest competitors in town. Online shopping does make more work for vendors what with pictures, mailing, returns, restocking or maybe it's just a different kind of work that they haven't adapted to yet. It may also be a generational thing with old school vendors resisting the changes e-tail has brought to business practices.

When buying on line, I do a lot of research in advance and cast a narrow net to avoid the inconvenience and hassle (to me) of juggling stuff from multiple vendors and making multiple returns.

Are they justified in hating us? From their perspective they are so the place to start would be transparency and honest communication so both potential buyer and vendor can decide if they want to do business with each other.

 

[arkieb1]

But nobody's holding a gun to their heads while they gladly take our money.

Niceness is ultimately BS.
Good gems at fair prices is where the rubber meets the road.
The rest is fluff.

I'm not sure I agree with that there is a huge difference between good customer service and bad customer service both in retail and online.....

I value good polite old fashioned service as much as fair prices....

 

[kenny]

Hating?
Really?

When I was growing up "hate" was used to mean something so strong that hate was not used often.
Today hate's meaning has been diluted to, "dislike", so it's used 100 times more than it was in my day.

I'm not sure why they (who?) invented this annoying new use for a very harsh old word instead of just using, "dislike".

 

[bludiva]

I think the problem is when you have a vendor operating online with thin margins vs a customer who wants more of a retail experience. Thin margins mean = need to move lots of pieces = no time to stop and do a lot of photos or hand-holding. But that model is better suited to selling wholesale imho where terms are crystal clear and buyers know what they want and treat it like a business transaction.

 

[arkieb1]

Yes, Some PSers are PITB to deal with... .I'm sure some of the vendors would love to slap a few PSers across the face...

I've been thinking about that the last few days and in the heated Coloured stone exchanged I pointed out, that, my mother and father in law own one retail shop in the industry and my sister in law owns another, they never deal with PSers yet they have customers that are rude, threatening, drug impacted, customers that cough on them in flu season, that spill or put food everywhere despite there being signs, people that vomit in the shop, people that leave the toilets in a state that you don't even want to know about. People that go in there just to shoplift....

So when a few online vendors bitch and moan about PSers being more difficult than the rest of the population, I sit at home thinking is it really that? Or is it because some of the population generally are horrible anyway, they just encounter a different form of horrible online....

A few of these vendors I'd argue actively chase PS business, like advertising here or putting listings on LT. The diamond vendor that posted sarcastic posts on IG about PSers used to put mass listings on LT and so did one of the annoyed coloured stone guys, in fact it was so bad people wrote about that particular guy for years, I have no clue why but no one would ever name him. I have this horribly dark sense of humour, so I used to write Vodermort (ie he who shall not be named has dumped a bunch of listings on there) in a few posts, then more vendors discovered LT and it got so bad several of us complained over and over again until they changed their policies so that anyone can only list x amount of items at a time and they can only have a limited amount of live listings at once to attempt to make it fair for everyone.

Vendors chase PSers business (even if that was in the past) grow that business and then trash that customer base online be it on IG or on FB.... these guys are upset and put out that they have to deal with "fussy hard to please crazy middle class PS women" (their words not mine) yet I'm thinking well gee, you don't have to deal with things like theft, violence, and overheads other small bricks and mortar stores do... and really from my own experience selling a small amount of things yes, a few PSers are to be avoided but most are lovely people, I don't think vendors are achieving anything by having public meltdowns.

@kenny - O.K perhaps I should have written Are vendors justified strongly disliking PSers and having public meltdowns online....

 

[Matata]

"fussy hard to please crazy middle class PS women"

Then their names should be posted so we can boycott them and save them from our crazy selves.

 

[arkieb1]

Then their names should be posted so we can boycott them and save them from our crazy selves.

Go to the coloured stone forum, and read the ranting in full..... the unprovoked totally unprofessional attack on one PSer was totally uncalled for that was the point I lost my #@*....

 

[Karl_K]

I would tell the truth, but you can not handle the truth!
*grin*

 

[arkieb1]

I would tell the truth, but you can not handle the truth!
*grin*

Right back at you Karl!!!

 

[Karl_K]

The truth is that PSers are some of the hardest but most rewarding and best clients to have.
It is not cheap to provide what they want and some business models and or products just dont support it.

*sssshhhhhhhhhh dont tell that guy above that I told*

 

[arkieb1]

The truth is that PSers are some of the hardest but most rewarding and best clients to have.
It is not cheap to provide what they want and some business models and or products just dont support it.

*sssshhhhhhhhhh dont tell that guy above that I told*

Yes PSers can be a PITA, some are, some are not, but, I think part of the problem is also this, we are on a forum that encourages members to suggest and select diamonds and coloured stones for people. So of course what happens is that each person here has a preference and they pick things like; a preferred vendor, a diamond with a preferred set of numbers, a coloured stone with a preferred cut, a diamond with a preferred cut and coloured stones of a preferred colour.

Sometimes these are subjective choices, sometimes they are based on education like better diamond cuts = more fire and sparkle, better edge to edge brightness and generally a better diamond.

In the good old days vendors sold diamonds and coloured stones that could be mediocre and everyone was happy, but, with the internet people are able to educate themselves a bit and hopefully buy something that represents O.K value that is half decent.

Pricescope exists to help those people. Not all vendors are going to be happy when one member recommends one diamond company or for that matter one diamond from one company over the diamond from the other company (happens all the time) and they certainly aren't going to be happy when one member recommends a coloured stone from one vendor over one they have purchased from another (as is happening over on the CS forum and I think at the core of the personal attack that just happened on there from two CS vendors)....

The simple hard truth is PS would not exist if we didn't help people by giving opinions (they are just that, opinions) and by helping people select one thing over another. Vendors actively chase our business yet are not particularly happy when their stones are talked about or are not selected versus something else.....

 

[Dancing Fire]

I'm not sure why they (who?) invented this annoying new use for a very harsh old word instead of just using, "dislike".

Kenny, I don't hate you, just DISLIKE you!..Do you feel better now??

 

[Karl_K]

Kenny, I don't hate you, just DISLIKE you!..Do you feel better now??

We all know you love Kenny, so we dont believe that for a second.

 

[bludiva]

The truth is that PSers are some of the hardest but most rewarding and best clients to have.
It is not cheap to provide what they want and some business models and or products just dont support it.

*sssshhhhhhhhhh dont tell that guy above that I told*

But it's totally fine for a vendor to say, sorry we are a small operation and can't do XYZ, here are our policies. Make it crystal clear and stick to it.

I think vendors must feel burned when they try to go above and beyond for a prospective customer and it doesn't work out. I work in a different line of business but I know a project is going to be painful once a lot of out of scope requests start popping up. Often times the company doesn't want to lose the client/sale and will accommodate it but end up digging a hole. Rarely ends well.

 

[Matata]

Thanks for the referral to the CS thread @arkieb1. I think the topic was thoroughly dissected in that thread and have nothing more to add to this post mortem.

 

[missy]

I do not think it is reasonable to paint with such a broad brush.

To answer your question- yes, I think for some vendors their dislike of some PSers is justified. Not their dislike of all PSers however and that is where the line between logic and sanity clash with unreasonable and unjustified.

However, having said that, it is the vendor's right to sell to anyone they like and to refuse to sell to anyone they do not like. Just as it is the buyer's right to choose with which vendor they want to do business. We all have the right to decide with whom we want to work and with whom we do not.

 

[missy]

I also think some of us (vendors and customers alike) need to put on our big girl and big boy panties and behave like adults.

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

Just my opinion and everyone is entitled to their own.

Colored stones and diamonds are luxury items that we want not need. So that mindset alone lead the buyer to be what some vendors and pre-loved sellers may consider picky. Many vendors do not need to sell stones to make a living and they also are not desperate to make a sale. So you have two parties who do not depend on each other for something that they need, but come together to negotiate something they want. Either can walk away from the table without suffering harm.For this reason either party may be reluctant to buy or sell if they just don't like the personality type they are dealing with, or they believe they are not getting the worth of their item or their money.

It should not be personal but we are human. There are always people who react emotionally when they do not get what they want on their terms, or they feel their work or their items are not appreciated.The old saying of "don't take it personally" comes to mind when buying and selling luxury items. In general if someone has a tendency to take things like this personally well into middle to late adulthood then I don't believe they are going to change their way of thinking and look at it from the other person's perspective. We can recommend that buyers/sellers remain polite, stick to the buying/selling policy that works for them and not take things personally, but if they haven't learned these things by now I doubt anything we write or suggest will make them change.

 

[MarionC]

How do the vendors know that customers are from PS?
That’s not something I’ve had come up when discussing a purchase.

 

[dk168]

Hate is too strong a word, dislike would be more appropriate, and yes I can appreciate why vendors would dislike dealing with some PSers who think they know it all, are always right and make demands that are disproportionate to the value of the goods.

All personal opinions and all that.

DK

 

[arkieb1]

How do the vendors know that customers are from PS?
That’s not something I’ve had come up when discussing a purchase.

It was mentioned in other posts, that part of some vendors issues is that PSers start by telling them they are PSers.... and it goes downhill (or hopefully in most cases uphill) from there.

 

[arkieb1]

Hate is too strong a word, dislike would be more appropriate, and yes I can appreciate why vendors would dislike dealing with some PSers who think they know it all, are always right and make demands that are disproportionate to the value of the goods.

All personal opinions and all that.

DK

A lot of people seem to expect something for nothing these days, I don't think it's just PSers IG is full of the same thing.

 

[dk168]

A lot of people seem to expect something for nothing these days, I don't think it's just PSers IG is full of the same thing.

Indeed.

I mentioned this before, the likes of Amazon etc. made it easy for goods to be return with little or no financial penalty to the buyers.

Probably a generation thing too, speaking as someone who starting shopping online since the 90s.

DK

 

[lyra]

My 2 experience with PS vendors were not good. Both mentioned to my DH, who ordered items for me, that "Those PS women are so...". I don't recall what followed that but it was disparaging. One cheated me, and the other sold us a ring with carbon spots on a couple of the diamonds. I learned my lesson. I now only shop vintage, and pre-loved. I am fine with it, happier even.

 

[Rfisher]

I get the reasoning behind the vendors emotions. They’ve got business (or hobby) decisions to make.
I don’t take that ‘personally’.
However I don’t understand using -social media to vent publicly about specific people.

If that’s what said in a public arena -
Can only imagine what’s said on their private ones.

I’ve said it here before - I think the penchant for public social media venting and PM gossip/drama about others is closely related to a ‘business’ evolving from a hobby.