Anyone trade down???

[Haven]

Awww Yenny, I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling guilty about owning your ring.
FWIW, I think your ring is stunning, and I hope you realize very soon that you deserve to wear it, and if it makes you happy and you love it I hope you decide to keep it.

We're all probably guilty of being judgmental about the way others spend their money. When it comes down to it, as long as you are happy with the choices you've made, none of that matters.

Life is short. I say if you like your big beautiful ring, wear it!

 

[paperumbrella]

Do you look at other beautiful pieces of jewelry here on PS and in real life and think, "That person does not deserve such a stunning piece"? Of course not. So don't be a harsher critic of yourself than you would be of others. Your ring is gorgeous and classy- own it, girl!!!

Also, your material possessions really have nothing to do with the goodness of your character. No one "deserves" to own or, conversely, is "unworthy" of owning luxury items. Some people, for a variety of reasons having nothing to do with character, are just fortunate enough to be able to purchase material goods. So celebrate your good fortune by wearing that beautiful ring. Really, the ring wants to be worn and would be sad to know it is bringing you anything less than happiness!!

 

[Scorpioanne]

First, let me say that you guys are the best! I appreciate everyone's thoughtful (and honest) responses. I hadn't really thought about it in terms of the fact that I never buy coffee out, don't eat meals out, don't buy expensive clothing/purses/shoes just for the heck of it (I do buy nice quality items when I need them and then they last quite a long time), I don't get my nails done, etc. Many of my friends do all of these things, but I don't judge them for it. It wouldn't have even occured to me. So, if I choose to spend our discretionary income on my ring, good for me!

I think that it boils down to not feeling like I deserve such a stupendous ring, and am therefore self concious about it. People probably do sense that and respond to it. Flygirl, I will definitely take your advice not to do anything too quickly here, so that I make sure I'll make the right decision for me.

Thanks for being so supportive!

Yennyfire, you deserve to have what you have worked for and I think that the way you are thinking about how you use your discretionary income is great. You have every right to choose how you spend your money and honestly I feeel that if people are judgemental about it they really aren't friends or have your interests at heart. Enjoy your ring, we all deserve to have something that is just for us!

 

[MissGotRocks]

If I could fast forward your life a few years, you would see that as you get older you truly care less and less about what others think. You become much more self assured about what you have and what you like and much less concerned about what anyone thinks about the money it cost, the shame you should feel about wearing it, or the jealously it might cause. Truth is you wear it because you love it and the rest is simply the rest.

You'll also see, unfortunately, that diamonds seem to do nothing - over the long haul - but go up in price! If you tried to repurchase this size stone in ten years, goodness only knows what it would cost!

You'd look back and realize that more money was made and you had more time to redo the upstairs after all. Heck, you might even move out of that house into an even nicer one.

However, if you're not loving the ring because of the design or might like another type of ring, then definitely take whatever steps are necessary to make it what you want it to be. Life is short and I think we all need to do what we can within reason to make ourselves happy. It's clearly paid for and not taking anything away from your children. Your husband agreed to it so clearly he wanted you to have it. Don't let others spoil your fun - they aren't being asked to pay for it so they just need to hush - NOW!

If you still absolutely love this ring, then wear it and enjoy it. Your mother's advice is spot on - trying to be practical all the time makes life a bit dull and you don't want to look back with regret in giving up something that you truly love. There are lots of things that people I know spend their money on that I don't so I never truly felt any guilt about my jewelry. It's just about choices we make and outcomes we are hoping to achieve. When people comment on the ring, just tell them that you so enjoy it and are blessed to have such a beautiful ring. They really can't argue with that!

 

[texaskj]

Yenny, MGR is right. You're not 40 yet, right? Turning 40 was no picnic for me, but when I got over the horror something settled in. I worried less about what others think. Maybe the ring isn't right for you at this time in your life. I'm usually not an advocate of keeping beautiful jewelry in the dark, but maybe you could put it in the safe for a while and then see how you feel. Take some time to make your decision and do what you feel comfotable with.

 

[yennyfire]

I think you guys have convinced me. Even if I don't wear my ring everyday right now, in a few years, I may be more comfortable doing so, but if I sold the ring, I probably wouldn't be able to purchase another one for the same price. Maybe texaskj is right... after I turn 40, I'll feel differently.

And, I LOVE the ring. It was such a long journey to find it and I love to see it on my finger (in my house, lol!)...I couldn't imagine anything better (except maybe a second ring with an OEC in it! )....

 

[Fly Girl]

I think you guys have convinced me. Even if I don't wear my ring everyday right now, in a few years, I may be more comfortable doing so, but if I sold the ring, I probably wouldn't be able to purchase another one for the same price. Maybe texaskj is right... after I turn 40, I'll feel differently.

And, I LOVE the ring. It was such a long journey to find it and I love to see it on my finger (in my house, lol!)...I couldn't imagine anything better (except maybe a second ring with an OEC in it! )....

Yeah! MGR and texas make very good points. I did not get my upgrade until my late 40s, and by then you do have a different attitude than when you are younger. You are more comfortable with your choices in life.

I saw on another thread that you do have a gorgeous eternity band that you sound comfortable wearing. That's perfect for now and I think you will enjoy wearing your big diamond ring soon enough.

 

[allycat0303]

Well. In some occaions I could see someone trading down (i.e higher quality stone)

However. In your case, I wouldn't do it. I think if you really needed the money for something else, that was important, for example, health bills or overwhelming debt, then I would sell it.

For home renovations that you can live without....not really. I think it's likely everyone else in the house thinks it's fine.

And you deserve a little something for yourself.