Anyone trade down???

[yennyfire]

On the opposite side of Kenny's "does an upgrade stop DSS" thread, did anyone trade down to a smaller stone, either or equal or better quality? If it's not too nosy, what was the motivation to do so and are you happy with your decision? How much did you lose percentage wise?

 

[Lula]

Hi, yenny -- I underwent "reverse DSS" and traded down in size to go up in color and clarity. I also went from a very elaborate halo to a half-bezel! There were several reasons:

I had some health problems last year and ended up losing weight -- a lot of weight -- due to changing my diet and exercising more. By December of last year, I was wearing my halo on my right hand because it was too big for my left hand. The setting was also too fancy for my more active lifestyle and I was wearing my ring less so I knew I'd have to invest in a sturdier setting, which also needed to be fairly inexpensive and/or easily sized, since I am still losing weight.

My halo held a 1 carat, I color I1 clarity diamond. The diamond was, believe it or not, eye clean (clear crystals) but over the year that I owned the I color stone, I had become much more color sensitive. So I wanted to go up to at least a G. The clarity was also bugging me -- a total mind clean thing. If I had never seen the AGS report on the stone, I would have never known it was an I1 -- but there you go.

To go up in both color and clarity, I had to go down to .77 carat weight from 1 carat, which is pretty substantial in "smaller" (by PS standards) diamonds. The good thing is my trade-in did not require a whole lot more in $$. I am very happy with my decision.

ETA: I put a colored gemstone in my halo, and now it is a right-hand ring, or I can wear it as an alternate e-ring with my wedding band, and I do like having options.

 

[kenny]

On the opposite side of Kenny's "does an upgrade stop DSS" thread, did anyone trade down to a smaller stone, either or equal or better quality? If it's not too nosy, what was the motivation to do so and are you happy with your decision? How much did you lose percentage wise?

I guess I've traded down.
I currently have 10 FCDs which I've bought since my 2.26 asscher.
Their weight ranges from 0.08 to 0.27 ct.
The average carat weight of the FCDs in the collection currently is 0.22 ct.

Trading down from 2.26 to 0.22 is percentage-wise loss of 97%.

I probably have the worst case of DSS, Diamond Swellage Syndrome in PS history.

I'm very happy with my decision.
Size isn't everything, you know.

 

[yennyfire]

Thanks for sharing your experience Lula. I'm glad that you're happy with your decision.

Kenny, I guess I wasn't clear. When I asked what you lost percentage wise, I meant in terms of $$ (i.e. you paid $10K for your stone/ring, and got $9K when you sold it, so that would be a loss of 10%). I asked in terms of % because I didn't want to be too nosy, so I figured that giving a % wasn't too invasive.

I totally agree with you that size isn't everything. Your FCDs are certainly case in point there. They certainly have a huge impact for their carat weight!

I am considering trading down to a smaller stone, either a smaller cushion to fit into the setting I have or a new ring altogether...that's what prompted this question.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Wow, Yenny, what made you want to change your gorgeous ring? I thought you were totally in love with it! What are you
thinking of in terms of what you are looking for?

 

[Lula]

Oh, I see what you're asking, yenny. Here's the breakdown on the cost of my trade down:

A new setting.

A gemstone for my former setting (which I could have postponed to save some $$).

The dollar difference between the cost of my new stone and my old stone.

So the percentage spent on the trade down was @25 percent of my original purchase price, most of which was the cost of the new setting (gold is outrageous) and the gemstone. The diamond trade-in was the least expensive part of the transaction, but that's only because I was willing to go down 25% in carat weight!

I think you'd have to trade down to a much simpler setting and go down a fair amount in carat weight, plus get a good price on your current setting and stone, to come out ahead, and even then you might not come out ahead by much. That's why, in my opinion, you have to have pretty compelling reasons to want to make a change, because the resale market for jewelry is so low -- it's hard to get your money back out of a piece of jewelry. *Sigh*

I think D&T and I are the experts on resets (in terms of number of resets, anyway). Maybe she'll chime in!

Hope this helps.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

At max I had just over two carats. It made me feel uncomfortable in my circle and could use the money so I sold it and took a loss of $200. I then dabbled in Sims but was uncomfortable wearing a fake when people thought it was real and finally ended with a .82 who knows what sparkly from a pawn shop. I love the size and the fact that it is mind clean - ignorance can be sparkly bliss

 

[diamondseeker2006]

As I told you on your other thread, I do sometimes think about trading for a smaller stone. I love my current diamond, but it is the largest in my most close social and family circles. If I went to the 1.3+ ct. range, I'd have to go to about an F VS1 to do a trade. I would have to spend about $500 more on the trade and buy a new setting. That seems kind of crazy to me when I think about it, so I haven't followed through yet. I doubt I'd do it if I had to sell outright and lose money.

 

[yennyfire]

Hi luvtosparkle...I do love the ring that I have, but it really stands out in my group of friends...by far the largest...the other piece is that I feel guilty when I wear it, thinking about the $$ we could have put towards retirement or remodeling the upstairs of our home, which the whole family would have enjoyed.

I'm just toying with the idea. If I can't come out of it without losing less than 10%, I probably won't do it. To sell this ring to get $5-10K back in our pockets seems silly. I was just curious if anyone had done it and if they were happy with their decision or had regrets.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I do understand that Yenny. My ring is bigger than most anyone I know. Sometimes it feels a little ostentatious. I sometimes
think about what we could have done with the extra money too, but diamond prices keep going up as well. It is nice that you have
something just for you. As moms, we are continually putting our kids before ourselves, which is a good thing. But as a mom a few
years ahead of you, I would say, after years and years of putting them first, you might be glad that you have this one beautiful
thing for yourself. The remodel will need to be done again in a few years but your sparklie will still be beautiful!!!

 

[suchende]

Yenny, another poster posted a listing for "feelers" on her diamond and got offers for basically what she paid. Now, that certainly goes against traditional wisdom, but you could do that and just get a sense of what you might recoup. It seems likely that you'll lose more than 10% reselling it but who knows, maybe you'd get a good offer on the stone.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Hmmm.... I don't think guilt is ever a good reason to do anything Yenny. If you need the money or don't like it for esthetics, well that is one thing. But guilt about treating yourself is not a good reason to take a financial loss and give up something that (presumably) brings you pleasure. In my book anyways. Goodness knows many a woman has been motivated by guilt over the years! You would be in good company at least.

Once in a blue moon I think of "trading down" to get a higher color in my stone. For the price I paid for my 1.66ct J VS1 I could get a 1.25ct G VS2 on an even trade. But that just seems crazy when I think about it too much. And, perhaps like you, I do think about putting the money to better use sometimes and taking advantage of the 70% buyback my vendor offers. But the 30% loss would really hurt. Even if I could get 90% or more back I don't think I would unless we were really hurting financially. I really love my ring and it brings me a lot of pleasure and I have decided to give myself permission to have that pleasure, like luvs2sparkle said. It is my only extravagance in life, really. And the pleasure-to-dollar ratio makes it well worth it for me .

 

[iota15]

Yenny, maybe I'm biased in posting this because you have my DREAM ring but...

I'm sure your friends have gotten used to your ring, and with time, they'll get used to it even more. This is something for you and only you. Once life rolls around with mortgages and kids and ... life, as I'm sure you know, there are few things that are really just for you. This is one of them.

If you don't feel comfortable with it on around your peer group, switch it up once in a while - just wear your wedding bands from time to time. Then put this sucker on when you're alone or shopping for groceries and watch it light up for you.

The money you put into it (although this is an assumption I'm sure is correct) is luxury/excess money. Yes, it could have gone for other things. You could have always bought something else with it or given it to charity, but you clearly love diamonds (like all of us junkies here). Unless it's not making you happy anymore, I would leave it where it belongs - on your finger.

 

[yennyfire]

Iota, I'm honored to have your dream ring, b/c you have quite the stunner yourself! You are right that the money we put into the ring was "excess" money. No one is going hungry or lacking for anything because I have this ring on my finger, though DH could have had a new sports car, lol!

Suchende, where/how did she put out feelers?

Dreamer and luvtosparkle, you both made really good points. Guilt is not the world's best motivation and, as a Mom, you're right that I never do anything for myself unless it's absolutely necessary (i.e. when my jeans have too many holes to wear, I replace them). Luv, my Mom said the same thing you did. She NEVER did anything for herself. My Dad offered her jewelry over the years and she declined, saying that it could be better spent elsewhere. Now, she tells me that she wishes she had a few nice pieces and that I shouldn't do what she did.

I do feel uncomfortable among some of my friends, who have come right out and said "I could never spend that much on a ring" or "I could never wear a ring that big". Of course, none of them love jewelry the way I do. I guess I need to make a decision to either sell this sucker and be OK with whatever loss we take or give myself permission to love it and put the guilt away for good.

Ya'll are the only people who could possibly understand how I'm feeling about this, so thanks for helping me process it.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

I believe I know where these feelers were put out, and if it's the case it cannot be repeated here Also, if we're thinking of the same gal, she bought her ring off of ebay so it was already discounted quite a bit hence the insignificant loss (same as my stone I had). I agree with dreamer that guilt is not a good reason to sell your stunning ring. Wouldn't you also feel guilty about the large loss you'd likely have to take to sell the ring?

 

[Tanzigrrl]

yennyfire - Oh, please don't let guilt get to you. Yes, you are very fortunate to have a ring like that but please don't feel guilty about it! That just makes me feel so sad. You didn't take food off or your family's table and of course there is always some other place you could spend money no matter what amount we're talking. I mean, here's an example: do you really need that $5 latte today? You could put it in your kid's lunch box! Do you know what I mean? You can second guess any expenditure no matter how great or small the amount. Anyway, I'm sure from other threads that many of us wear the biggest rings in our social spheres, but as long as we're being responsible about it, it really doesn't matter what people think. As long as you're being responsible, it's no big deal. Some of your friends might be quite envious and just don't know what to say. Enjoy your gorgeous ring, you only live once and you deserve it.

 

[yennyfire]

Thanks sparklyblonde! Yes, I'm going to feel guilty no matter what I do, which is why I just need to make a decision, embrace it and live with it, guilt free. For me, that will be easier said than done!

 

[Lula]

I agree with the other posters who have said that you do deserve some nice things for yourself if your family's needs are met and the money spent is not causing your family hardship. You went through so much to get this upgrade, and it is a truly beautiful piece. But this is Pricescope world, not the real world, and by the sound of your posts, you're trying to balance your love of bling (which is appreciated here!) with the reality of your day-to-day life.

I've also had experience with people making comments about my -- modest! -- bling. Any bling out of the ordinary, whether in size or design, elicits comments in my small, academic community. And, yes, you can chalk it up to people being nosy and rude. But it can also be annoying for the wearer to constantly be the subject of unkind comments from others. The last straw for me was over the holidays when two of my friends were admiring my halo ring -- and were surprised and shocked to learn that it was a real diamond and gemstone ring. They thought it was fake. That hurt. A lot. And we're talking a one carat diamond here -- not huge at all by PS standards. But I don't live in PS; I live in my small local community and I am employed in an academic setting. I had been "thinking" about downsizing, and that experience pretty much finalized my decision.

So what I'm saying is, it's a balance between how much of a trailblazer you want to be -- and there are many people on here who proudly wear their incredible bling and don't give a rat's a** if someone asks them if it's a fake. But, for me, I'm a little more reserved and would rather have pieces that are very high quality, but less "bold," for lack of a better word -- pieces that I know are top-notch, but are more modest in both size and design. I still get comments on my diamond, but now I hear people say, "Wow, that is the most sparkly diamond I have ever seen" and in local jewelry stores, "that's a really nice diamond."

The place that we cannot mention is a website where many of us have bought and sold jewelry. It is not, in my experience, a place that will give you top dollar for your pieces. If you do decide to sell your beautiful ring, or trade it in for something less blingy, I'd work with either Pearlman's or Jewels by Erica Grace, or see if you can work something out with a local jeweler. You may be far better off financially with a trade-in than you would trying to sell it.

Good luck with your decision, yenny!

 

[slg47]

oh yenny...I know you went through a lot to get your beautiful ring! but it should make you HAPPY. People have no business commenting...some people wouldn't wear a 2.5 carat ring, but others wouldn't dream of spending $4/day at starbucks...it's really what you choose and as Lula says, your family's needs are met. However...you should enjoy the ring, and if other people's comments are causing you to not enjoy it...then I can see why you might want to trade down.

anyway I think Lula said what I am trying to say but more eloquently so *hugs* and wishing you the best

 

[yennyfire]

Lula, thanks for your thoughtful reply. I'm on my phone mow so can't manage a proper response, but wanted to thank you. Will reply more later.

 

[Fly Girl]

We got my upgrade, a 1.5 ct F VS2, modest by PS standands, but plenty big enough for me, when we could afford it. All of our other priorities, education for the kids, a home and our retirement accounts, were met. But, I kept my original solitaire e-ring and put an ideal cut 0.63 ct E VS2 from GOG in there. I find that I wear it a lot. I wear it most of the summer when I am more active out of doors, and I choose to wear it on occasions when I don't want the attention of extra bling. It helps that I know it is a beautiful and perfectly cut stone.

I'm just saying that it doesn't have to be either-or. I'd keep that gorgeous ring and have a more modest one as well. I wouldn't do anything quickly here, unless you really need the cash. You can put the ring in a drawer and see how life is without it. It will still be there in a few weeks or months and with prices going up, you won't be out anything by waiting for a bit.

 

[Kismet]

I do feel uncomfortable among some of my friends, who have come right out and said "I could never spend that much on a ring" or "I could never wear a ring that big". Of course, none of them love jewelry the way I do. I guess I need to make a decision to either sell this sucker and be OK with whatever loss we take or give myself permission to love it and put the guilt away for good.

Give yourself permission to love your ring. There are *always* things people won't spend money on. I wouldn't spend $50k on a car or $500 on a pair of shoes or $5 on a cup of coffee but that doesn't invalidate the choices of people would spend that money on those things. And I bet if great-aunt Joan kicked off and left your friend her honkin' jewels she would be sporting them around.

 

[iota15]

Yenny. The way I think about it - yes, I could have used the money elsewhere but really, I have my basics and then some, taken care of already. Plus, some of my friends buy multitudes of what I consider frivolous items as well - name brand scarves, handbags and luggage, high-end vehicles when they have a fairly new and functioning cars at home, excessive spa treatments, and recently - I have no idea why - someone's grandmother bought a solid gold spoon to feed a one-year old. (Let's all hope this child doesn't turn into Veruca Salt.)

We each have different priorities with our luxury money. Hopefully, your friends have made any reactionary comments they have now, and your true friends will just accept it as somethings that's there. DSS doesn't only work for the owner, it's blinging size will also wear off on your friends over time.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I would guess that if your friends had the extra cash and the DH's said go for it, they absolutely would upgrade their ring. Some of
that is quite simply jealousy. Maybe they wouldn't feel comfortable getting your size stone initially but how hard would it be to
work up to it. We have all been there at one time or another.

Yenny, your ring is stunning and looks beautiful on you. Just rock it, and don't worry what anyone else says or thinks. You can
always leave it at home when going out with your friends if they persist on making comments. If somewhere down the line, you
don't wear it and want to sell it, I would do it them. Diamond prices keep going up. If I sold my original diamond now, I could get
more than I paid for sure.

Your mom is right. The other stuff will get done if you need to do it somehow. You are allowed to have something beautiful.
Plus it sends a message to your kids that you are worth it too. If you are always putting your kids first they notice and kind of
think that is the way it should be. Your ring also speaks of how much your husband values you-he was willing to put you first this
time too. It is a gift of love from him. Accept it, enjoy it. Sell it only if you absolutely have to, or you just hate it. OK, that is
my 2 cents. Probably not worth that much.

 

[TooPatient]

I do feel uncomfortable among some of my friends, who have come right out and said "I could never spend that much on a ring" or "I could never wear a ring that big". Of course, none of them love jewelry the way I do. I guess I need to make a decision to either sell this sucker and be OK with whatever loss we take or give myself permission to love it and put the guilt away for good.

Give yourself permission to love your ring. There are *always* things people won't spend money on. I wouldn't spend $50k on a car or $500 on a pair of shoes or $5 on a cup of coffee but that doesn't invalidate the choices of people would spend that money on those things. And I bet if great-aunt Joan kicked off and left your friend her honkin' jewels she would be sporting them around.

Exactly this.

My mom thinks it is excessive to have a $10,000 wedding.... She and her husband EACH have a $5000 quad AND a motorcycle (more $$) just to ride for fun.


Keep your ring. Wear it proudly and enjoy something that you and your DH bought just for you. You deserve it.

 

[Black Jade]

Hi luvtosparkle...I do love the ring that I have, but it really stands out in my group of friends...by far the largest...the other piece is that I feel guilty when I wear it, thinking about the $$ we could have put towards retirement or remodeling the upstairs of our home, which the whole family would have enjoyed.

I'm just toying with the idea. If I can't come out of it without losing less than 10%, I probably won't do it. To sell this ring to get $5-10K back in our pockets seems silly. I was just curious if anyone had done it and if they were happy with their decision or had regrets.

I'm going to join the keep-your-ring group of advisers. Unless it actually not paid for and bleeding your credit at this moment with huge interest payments, it doesn't make sense to sell it and get back less, which it seems that when you sell diamonds whether its to get less or get more, you pretty much always lose money. So you'd lose money, to get rid of something you love, which your DH gave you, whcih your kids could inherit one day. I would not put what your group of friend have or do not have in the equation. As someone else said, they probably have other expensive things that YOU wouldn't like. I have a very large and expensive pair of diamond earrings. When I first got it I felt guilty too, like I must have wasted the money and didn't deserve it. They were a special birthday gift from my husband of many years and we had always done everything for the kids and the family before, also (which we continue to do now).People gave me the advice to enjoy them and it was the best advice I ever had, so passing it on to you.
My friends, by the way, were not jealous, but admiring--but I was guilty anyway. Guilt is silly unless you've actually done something wrong.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I do feel uncomfortable among some of my friends, who have come right out and said "I could never spend that much on a ring" or "I could never wear a ring that big". Of course, none of them love jewelry the way I do. I guess I need to make a decision to either sell this sucker and be OK with whatever loss we take or give myself permission to love it and put the guilt away for good.

Give yourself permission to love your ring. There are *always* things people won't spend money on. I wouldn't spend $50k on a car or $500 on a pair of shoes or $5 on a cup of coffee but that doesn't invalidate the choices of people would spend that money on those things. And I bet if great-aunt Joan kicked off and left your friend her honkin' jewels she would be sporting them around.

Exactly this.

My mom thinks it is excessive to have a $10,000 wedding.... She and her husband EACH have a $5000 quad AND a motorcycle (more $$) just to ride for fun.


Keep your ring. Wear it proudly and enjoy something that you and your DH bought just for you. You deserve it.

Exactly. I have friend who have spent much more than the cost of my ring on vacations, multiple vehicles, home renovations above and beyond anything necessary or practical. Everyone spends their money somehow. If you choose bling, it is none of their business.

I do believe that other people can sniff out when you feel insecure about something, or are insecure in general, and when they smell it they somehow feel it gives them licence to comment on thigns that are none of their business. Like how you spend your money. Instead of feeling bad about your freinds' comments about your ring, you could also be thinking about how rude they are to try and seem morally superior with their "I could never spend that!" comments.

FWIW I have had friends say the same thing to me. And my mom commented just the other day that my diamond was so big it looks fake! But those same people also think it is beautiful, and frankly I don't care what they think beyond that -- they have "wasted" plenty of money in ways I think are ridiculous. I just have the manners not to say such things to their face! I guess I am a trailblazer like Lula mentioned

 

[rubybeth]

I do feel uncomfortable among some of my friends, who have come right out and said "I could never spend that much on a ring" or "I could never wear a ring that big". Of course, none of them love jewelry the way I do. I guess I need to make a decision to either sell this sucker and be OK with whatever loss we take or give myself permission to love it and put the guilt away for good.

Ya'll are the only people who could possibly understand how I'm feeling about this, so thanks for helping me process it.

Haven't downgraded my ring, but I definitely understand the comments your friends have made since I've had friends make the same comments about some of my purses. I think they are maybe being honest, but also guilt-tripping or making the comments out of jealousy. You love what you love, and you love jewelry. I don't think you have to apologize for that. You just have different priorities for your 'fun money,' and that's okay. Give yourself permission to love your ring--I know I do!!

 

[Lula]

I do feel uncomfortable among some of my friends, who have come right out and said "I could never spend that much on a ring" or "I could never wear a ring that big". Of course, none of them love jewelry the way I do. I guess I need to make a decision to either sell this sucker and be OK with whatever loss we take or give myself permission to love it and put the guilt away for good.

Give yourself permission to love your ring. There are *always* things people won't spend money on. I wouldn't spend $50k on a car or $500 on a pair of shoes or $5 on a cup of coffee but that doesn't invalidate the choices of people would spend that money on those things. And I bet if great-aunt Joan kicked off and left your friend her honkin' jewels she would be sporting them around.

Exactly this.

My mom thinks it is excessive to have a $10,000 wedding.... She and her husband EACH have a $5000 quad AND a motorcycle (more $$) just to ride for fun.


Keep your ring. Wear it proudly and enjoy something that you and your DH bought just for you. You deserve it.

Exactly. I have friend who have spent much more than the cost of my ring on vacations, multiple vehicles, home renovations above and beyond anything necessary or practical. Everyone spends their money somehow. If you choose bling, it is none of their business.

I do believe that other people can sniff out when you feel insecure about something, or are insecure in general, and when they smell it they somehow feel it gives them licence to comment on thigns that are none of their business. Like how you spend your money. Instead of feeling bad about your freinds' comments about your ring, you could also be thinking about how rude they are to try and seem morally superior with their "I could never spend that!" comments.

FWIW I have had friends say the same thing to me. And my mom commented just the other day that my diamond was so big it looks fake! But those same people also think it is beautiful, and frankly I don't care what they think beyond that -- they have "wasted" plenty of money in ways I think are ridiculous. I just have the manners not to say such things to their face! I guess I am a trailblazer like Lula mentioned [

Dreamer, you are a trailblazer -- and a single-minded, dedicated, patient, eyes-on-the prize one at that!

I am not a trailblazer. I love large diamonds and gemstones, but I am a big-bling-wannabe; I just can't comfortably pull it off in real life. But I do so love to live vicariously through you ladies (and gentlemen) and your gorgeous pieces. It took me a while to learn this about myself, because PS is like a great big candy store -- you can have whatever you like, in whatever flavor(s) you crave, and there's something new every day. And it's easy to get caught up in it and want the latest thing...french cuts anyone? Yes, I'd some!

After a lot of missteps, I found the jewelry style I'm most comfortable with is simple and low-maintenance. I won't sacrifice quality -- PS has taught me that -- but I will stick with a more low-key style. It made me very uncomfortable when people noticed my halo (even when they didn't ask me if it was fake !!). I just didn't like the attention. And I think Dreamer has a good point about people being able to sense when someone is feeling uncomfortable or insecure. I know I felt pretty self-conscious a lot of time wearing my ring, and then when someone noticed my ring, I felt even more uncomfortable. That takes the enjoyment out of wearing your bling pretty fast!

So, yenny, if it's about feeling uncomfortable about the unwanted attention, and feeling like your ring just doesn't "fit" with your lifestyle, that's one thing. Then "downsizing" to a smaller stone and simpler setting might make sense. And any money you lost on the trade down would be made up in peace of mind and that's worth something.

But if it's about feeling like you don't deserve to wear such a beautiful ring, or that you feel guilty about wearing it, that's another thing entirely. And if it's the second case, I agree with the other posters -- give yourself permission to enjoy and love your ring, and ignore the harpies who may indeed be jealous of the beautiful ring your wonderful husband gave you as a gift.

 

[yennyfire]

First, let me say that you guys are the best! I appreciate everyone's thoughtful (and honest) responses. I hadn't really thought about it in terms of the fact that I never buy coffee out, don't eat meals out, don't buy expensive clothing/purses/shoes just for the heck of it (I do buy nice quality items when I need them and then they last quite a long time), I don't get my nails done, etc. Many of my friends do all of these things, but I don't judge them for it. It wouldn't have even occured to me. So, if I choose to spend our discretionary income on my ring, good for me!

I think that it boils down to not feeling like I deserve such a stupendous ring, and am therefore self concious about it. People probably do sense that and respond to it. Flygirl, I will definitely take your advice not to do anything too quickly here, so that I make sure I'll make the right decision for me.

Thanks for being so supportive!