Anyone else feel like this???

[robbie3982]

I am sooo moody lately! I''d say I''m turning into a bridezilla, but half the time it has nothing to do with the wedding. Everyone and everything is annoying me. It seems like no one can do anything right and I have to seriously concentrate on not biting anyone''s head off.

It''s not PMS. Is this what wedding stress does to people??? I can''t really even think of things that should be stressing me out this much.

Here''s an example:

People at work are really annoying me today by doing various things so I called FI to see if he wanted to have lunch w/ me so I could vent to him other than through email. He said he already has plans to go to Pizza Hut Buffet with the guys from work. For some reason, that really pissed me off! I wanted him to drop his plans to eat w/ me or at least invite me to go with him and the other guys. I swear, 2 months ago this wouldn''t have bothered me at all. I pracitcally yelled at him as I was getting off the phone

.

Is this happening to anyone else???

 

[larussel03]

Sounds to me like you are just stressed period--any chance you can take a vacation, even a weekend trip to destress?

 

[sumbride]

Oh yeah... it''s almost like I have so much emotion that I can''t help but express some of it negatively. I''m trying really hard to not be angry so now everybody thinks I''m sad... I keep hearing "are you ok?" and "what''s wrong?" and "you seem so quiet..." It''s driving me batty! Why does everything have to be so happy happy joy joy... I''m not upset about the wedding, I''m just trying to deal with a bunch of other things and it''s hard.

Maybe vent here?

Here''s my list of why my life hasn''t been perfect lately...

1) I have a close friend going through a difficult pregnancy and I''m hanging on a thread hoping the baby, and she, will be ok. She had a procedure this week that hopefully fixed the problem but she may have to repeat it every couple weeks and she''s only 5 months along. My other friends know her but she''s sworn me to secrecy and that''s a lot of pressure!

2) I was in a car accident last weekend... got hit by an unlicensed driver and am still waiting to hear WHEN I will get my car fixed. My insurance adjuster hasn''t determined fault yet (not mine!), hasn''t listened to his side of the story yet, hasn''t made an appointment to view my car yet... UGH!

3) Had some plumbing problems in the house... a toilet that wouldn''t stop running. FI took the whole thing apart, cracked the tank, and it took 3 weeks to get the new tank... but I installed it this week and we''re FINALLY back to two bathrooms but he''s been threatened to NEVER take a toilet apart without having a backup plan! On the plus side, I now know how to install a toilet tank.

4) Work has been really busy and I''m just trying to keep up.

5) Thanks to all the stress, my back started aching on Wednesday, made me almost immobile yesterday, and is now starting to feel better, but it''s still quite sore. Probably not related to the car accident since he didn''t hit me that hard.

6) My four day weekend starts in a few hours and all I wanted was to escape... go somewhere and get away... but with my car banged up and my wallet on a freeze until the deductible is determined to be his responsibility, I''m stuck at home. UGH.

whew, ok I feel better.

 

[robbie3982]

Nope. I just started this job a few weeks ago and have no vacation. Technically I''m considered a temp for 90 days and then I have to pass a test and all their background checks (none of which should be a problem) before I''m full time. After I''m full time for 6 months I''ll have 1 week of vacation which I''ll need to save for the honemoon. I have to work every other Saturday and free weekends have been spent going from Youngstown to Pittsburgh for family events or wedding planning. Oh, did I mention that we''re moving a week from Sunday and nothing''s done either? AGH! I guess we do have 2 weeks to move out, but still...

 

[robbie3982]

Date: 10/6/2006 12:40:50 PM
Author: sumbride
Oh yeah... it's almost like I have so much emotion that I can't help but express some of it negatively. I'm trying really hard to not be angry so now everybody thinks I'm sad... I keep hearing 'are you ok?' and 'what's wrong?' and 'you seem so quiet...' It's driving me batty! Why does everything have to be so happy happy joy joy... I'm not upset about the wedding, I'm just trying to deal with a bunch of other things and it's hard.

Maybe vent here?

Here's my list of why my life hasn't been perfect lately...

1) I have a close friend going through a difficult pregnancy and I'm hanging on a thread hoping the baby, and she, will be ok. She had a procedure this week that hopefully fixed the problem but she may have to repeat it every couple weeks and she's only 5 months along. My other friends know her but she's sworn me to secrecy and that's a lot of pressure!

2) I was in a car accident last weekend... got hit by an unlicensed driver and am still waiting to hear WHEN I will get my car fixed. My insurance adjuster hasn't determined fault yet (not mine!), hasn't listened to his side of the story yet, hasn't made an appointment to view my car yet... UGH!

3) Had some plumbing problems in the house... a toilet that wouldn't stop running. FI took the whole thing apart, cracked the tank, and it took 3 weeks to get the new tank... but I installed it this week and we're FINALLY back to two bathrooms but he's been threatened to NEVER take a toilet apart without having a backup plan! On the plus side, I now know how to install a toilet tank.

4) Work has been really busy and I'm just trying to keep up.

5) Thanks to all the stress, my back started aching on Wednesday, made me almost immobile yesterday, and is now starting to feel better, but it's still quite sore. Probably not related to the car accident since he didn't hit me that hard.

6) My four day weekend starts in a few hours and all I wanted was to escape... go somewhere and get away... but with my car banged up and my wallet on a freeze until the deductible is determined to be his responsibility, I'm stuck at home. UGH.

whew, ok I feel better.

Wow, I'm glad you're ok from your car accident. Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate too. After reading what I just wrote, I guess I do have a lot to be stressed about, but I think it's the wedding planning which is making me emotional and causing me to not hold it in.

ETA: I didn't even know Monday was a holiday. I wonder if I have it off...I'm going to go check on that.

 

[firebirdgold]

It''s probably the move that''s making you so stressed. I feel about ready to snap and all I''m doing is trying to make my house ready for my fi to move in. I''m just painting, organizing, cleaning, and boxing up a few of the rooms to switch ''em about but I''m still horribly stressed. I''ve been snapping at him all week.

 

[mercoledi]

I totally went through that. We got engaged in March and sometime in June I started just snapping or crying at every little thing. It was ridiculous, it was frustrating it wasn''t very "me" and I seemed to have no control over it! I was crying over credit card ads. Seriously. And I was sure everyone I work with deserved to die.

We''re getting married next month and I think I finally reset to normal about two weeks ago. My only advice is to hang in there and try to relax. See if you have a trusted friend (maybe your also-engaged MOH?) who will understand, or at least listen.

I felt better after we had some wedding arraingements nailed down; for months there were just too many balls in the air (and we''re eloping! it''s not like the planning was complicated!).

Feel free to vent anytime. Been there, done that.

 

[sumbride]

It sounds like you''ve got a lot to do and no time off... that can wear down anybody. I do think you need to take one weekend and NOT go to Pittsburgh... take one weekend off of wedding planning because you do need some downtime. And the move is a very stressful thing! I hate moving! Everything is so stressful, up in the air, disorganized, and you just get plain exhausted! It''s enough to make anybody snap!

(and sorry if I hijacked for my own vent! I do feel better now!)

 

[Selkie]

For me, after the initial excitement of getting engaged wore off (and then again after getting the ring 5 months later!), I almost felt guilty whenever something pissed me off or upset me, and I think it had to do with the idea that being engaged is supposed to make you HAPPY! HAPPY! HAPPY! ALL THE TIME. In other words, I wasn''t necessarily moodier than normal, but I felt that I was because I wasn''t "supposed" to be, at that point in my life. I''ve gotten over it, though

and if something upsets me, I roll with it. Wedding planning IS stressful, as is life in general, so that can be a letdown after the high of getting engaged. There''s a good book called The Conscious Bride, which I think Sumbride has recommended before too, that deals with the emotions of being engaged.

 

[FacetFire]

Date: 10/6/2006 12:44:07 PM
Author: robbie3982
Nope. I just started this job a few weeks ago and have no vacation. Technically I''m considered a temp for 90 days and then I have to pass a test and all their background checks (none of which should be a problem) before I''m full time. After I''m full time for 6 months I''ll have 1 week of vacation which I''ll need to save for the honemoon. I have to work every other Saturday and free weekends have been spent going from Youngstown to Pittsburgh for family events or wedding planning. Oh, did I mention that we''re moving a week from Sunday and nothing''s done either? AGH! I guess we do have 2 weeks to move out, but still...

Hang in there. Just to make you feel better, we''re moving on Tuesday and Wednesday of this upcoming week, and we don''t have a single box packed. I hate moving! Whoops, sorry for the little vent in your thread.

Have you been taking time to yourself? I find that when I am plain stressed, I take i tout on other people unless I am getting enough alone time. Take a relaxing bath, get to the gym, take a long walk, read a trashy novel. Something, anything. Just do it for you and for you only. Stress seems to come and go in waves and it can snowball unless you break the cycle. I know that we have been very stressed with moving and finding/starting new jobs lately too, and we found ourselves taking it out on each other. But as soon as we made the effort to try and be extra nice to each other, it relaxed the mood and now things feel alot less stressful. Stress causes more stress and happiness causes more happiness. Or maybe that''s just how it feels to me. Anyway, I''ll stop rambling. Take care of yourself!

 

[Balaban]

Girls, I don''t post very often on here but saw this thread and just wanted to say that I absolutely, totally, completely know what you mean. My fiance proposed in the spring and we are planning a wedding for the end of May, 2007 ... Between being in my last year of law school, trying to decide what job to take after graduation, and planning for an apartment hunt sometime this coming spring, the various decisions regarding our wedding are really beginning to push me over the edge. I am generally quite chilled out and upbeat, but have become so irritable lately - more internally than externally, though I am snapping at my fiance almost daily, which is nothing like our normal, easy going couple dynamic. (Though I have found that trying on wedding dresses is an immediate pick-me-up no matter what else is going on - it''s so much fun!) I haven''t read that book that was recommeded a few posts back, but I think I will pick it up this weekend ... In the meanwhile, hang in there. I know that everyone expects that planning a wedding should be one of the happiest, more exciting times of our lives - and it is, it also just happens to be overwhelming and sometimes draining ...

 

[robbie3982]

Everyone, thank you so much for the replies!!! I''m so glad that I''m not alone and insane

. Everyone should feel free to rant whenever on any of my threads. We can make this the rant thread if everyone wants

.

My MOH doesn''t seem to get what I''m going through. Maybe it''s cause her wedding is a bit under 2 years away and she just hasn''t gotten to this part yet.

I''m definitely going to get a copy of that book, Sum. I definitely need some alone time, but it''s hard right now living in the one bedroom apartment and being on a pretty tight budget. At least when we move we''ll have different floors.

Thanks again everyone!

 

[firebirdgold]

<------ And why do you think my avatar now looks like this??


You''re certainly not alone, and if you''re insane welcome to the club!

You definately need to take a weekend off of doing everything and anything and just relax. Have a pj day, read a good book, or go on an honest-to-gosh date with your fi!

 

[robbie3982]

That sounds great, but we won''t be able to have a full weekend for another 5 weeks at least with moving and birthday parties to attend in Pittsburgh (he has 9 nieces and nephews). I love going and seeing everyone, but ugh. I need a break. If the kids didn''t see all their other aunts and uncles so much I might be ok w/ missing out on a birthday here or there, but we already see them so much less.

 

[sumbride]

I had a breakdown last night over what to have for dinner because I just didn''t care and my FI was just trying to help... I remember screaming "I DON''T WANT CHINESE!" and he just sat back and tuned me out for a minute until I started sobbing and said "I guess pizza is ok..." and he went to my favorite place and brought home my favorite pizza (crab pie) and I chilled out. I think the back pain sent me over the edge but I just couldn''t take it.

but I''m doing a little better... my back is still killing me today so I had FI take me to the emergency room just in case it was something more than a backache and now I have pain killers and steroids for the inflammation so I think I''ll live. He said "so what caused it?" and when I said "probably tension" he said "what are you stressed about?" I said "What aren''t I stressed about???" but hey, it could be worse... as I was waiting for my prescriptions, the guy next to me asked for help zipping up his jacket. He got shot in the shoulder and couldn''t use his hand. Um, yeah... I should stop whining about my back pain... perspective is sometimes needed.

 

[robbie3982]

Awe, I''m sorry your back is hurting. I had a mini break down yesterday too. When I got home from work I was in a really bad mood because I was rushed all day to get things done and if people had just done their own jobs in a timely matter, I would''ve had plenty of time. I had to do laundry so that I would have clean clothes to wear to the tailgate I was working today and I just got so frustrated and started crying. FI came over and tried to hold me and console me, but I just needed to cry and have at least one thing off of my list. After we finished the laundry I felt much better and we had a fairly relaxed evening.

FI is now working overtime. I''m hoping that he won''t get nearly as stressed as I do cause I don''t know what will happen if we''re both ticking stress timebombs.

Now my foot is really hurting from walking/standing all day and I don''t understand why (I was wearing tennis shoes!). Yet another thing to add to it all.

 

[reader]

Tennis shoes do not help in the long run with foot pain. I am learning that the hard way, my new Reeboks aren''t helping at all with carrying city mail.

Ladies, it does get better. Last year, I was commuting 2 hours one way to work a driving route, and had to come home every night to house, teenager, pets, and nothing getting done. One day at work, I forgot to put the same tray of mail in my car 3 times. FH realized I was in stress overload, called my boss, called my mom...had me taken out of work for 2 days and the kid with grandma. Loaded the car with gas, and started driving to Ontario. We spent two nights in a small town called Wiarton, at a clean, cheap, locally owned hotel, looked at trees and a white groundhog, and hung out at Sauble beach. Its amazing what 2 days of trees will do.

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 10/7/2006 4:57:06 PM
Author: sumbride
I had a breakdown last night over what to have for dinner because I just didn''t care and my FI was just trying to help... I remember screaming ''I DON''T WANT CHINESE!'' and he just sat back and tuned me out for a minute until I started sobbing and said ''I guess pizza is ok...'' and he went to my favorite place and brought home my favorite pizza (crab pie) and I chilled out. I think the back pain sent me over the edge but I just couldn''t take it.

but I''m doing a little better... my back is still killing me today so I had FI take me to the emergency room just in case it was something more than a backache and now I have pain killers and steroids for the inflammation so I think I''ll live. He said ''so what caused it?'' and when I said ''probably tension'' he said ''what are you stressed about?'' I said ''What aren''t I stressed about???'' but hey, it could be worse... as I was waiting for my prescriptions, the guy next to me asked for help zipping up his jacket. He got shot in the shoulder and couldn''t use his hand. Um, yeah... I should stop whining about my back pain... perspective is sometimes needed.

Hehe... that makes me think of my experience a few months ago, when I went to the dentist about jaw pain and discovered I had a lot of damage to my teeth due to clenching. The dentist gazed into my mouth in shock and finally asked "are you currently under an extreme amount of stress??" It was all I could do not to laugh. Well, yes, in fact I am... but what am I supposed to do about it exactly??

 

[robbie3982]

Date: 10/8/2006 5:55:29 PM
Author: ephemery1

Date: 10/7/2006 4:57:06 PM
Author: sumbride
I had a breakdown last night over what to have for dinner because I just didn''t care and my FI was just trying to help... I remember screaming ''I DON''T WANT CHINESE!'' and he just sat back and tuned me out for a minute until I started sobbing and said ''I guess pizza is ok...'' and he went to my favorite place and brought home my favorite pizza (crab pie) and I chilled out. I think the back pain sent me over the edge but I just couldn''t take it.

but I''m doing a little better... my back is still killing me today so I had FI take me to the emergency room just in case it was something more than a backache and now I have pain killers and steroids for the inflammation so I think I''ll live. He said ''so what caused it?'' and when I said ''probably tension'' he said ''what are you stressed about?'' I said ''What aren''t I stressed about???'' but hey, it could be worse... as I was waiting for my prescriptions, the guy next to me asked for help zipping up his jacket. He got shot in the shoulder and couldn''t use his hand. Um, yeah... I should stop whining about my back pain... perspective is sometimes needed.

Hehe... that makes me think of my experience a few months ago, when I went to the dentist about jaw pain and discovered I had a lot of damage to my teeth due to clenching. The dentist gazed into my mouth in shock and finally asked ''are you currently under an extreme amount of stress??'' It was all I could do not to laugh. Well, yes, in fact I am... but what am I supposed to do about it exactly??

I''ve started to get headaches recently and you just reminded me that I''m a clencher when I''m stressed. I have a splint to wear at night. Looks like i''ll need to find it and break it out.

 

[sumbride]

Date: 10/8/2006 9:16:46 PM
Author: robbie3982

Date: 10/8/2006 5:55:29 PM

Author: ephemery1

Date: 10/7/2006 4:57:06 PM

Author: sumbride

I had a breakdown last night over what to have for dinner because I just didn''t care and my FI was just trying to help... I remember screaming ''I DON''T WANT CHINESE!'' and he just sat back and tuned me out for a minute until I started sobbing and said ''I guess pizza is ok...'' and he went to my favorite place and brought home my favorite pizza (crab pie) and I chilled out. I think the back pain sent me over the edge but I just couldn''t take it.


but I''m doing a little better... my back is still killing me today so I had FI take me to the emergency room just in case it was something more than a backache and now I have pain killers and steroids for the inflammation so I think I''ll live. He said ''so what caused it?'' and when I said ''probably tension'' he said ''what are you stressed about?'' I said ''What aren''t I stressed about???'' but hey, it could be worse... as I was waiting for my prescriptions, the guy next to me asked for help zipping up his jacket. He got shot in the shoulder and couldn''t use his hand. Um, yeah... I should stop whining about my back pain... perspective is sometimes needed.

Hehe... that makes me think of my experience a few months ago, when I went to the dentist about jaw pain and discovered I had a lot of damage to my teeth due to clenching. The dentist gazed into my mouth in shock and finally asked ''are you currently under an extreme amount of stress??'' It was all I could do not to laugh. Well, yes, in fact I am... but what am I supposed to do about it exactly??

I''ve started to get headaches recently and you just reminded me that I''m a clencher when I''m stressed. I have a splint to wear at night. Looks like i''ll need to find it and break it out.

me too!!! i haven''t used it in a few weeks... hmm... maybe that''s part of the problem!!! I''ll break it out tonight!

 

[firebirdgold]

Ooh, that''s a good idea. I wonder where I put mine?

 

[nytemist]

I certainly have been feeling this way.

The wedding is 3 weeks from tomorrow and I have nothing done. Still have to get my attendant''s gifts, finalize the cake, make my veil, drag him away from work so we can get our marriage license. All while trying to pack and move, which isn''t going very well. Then I have to figure out when to look for a new job and how I''m going to get there, being that my car is very old, cranky and does not like sitting in traffic.(''84 lincoln)

My fiance''s response is always "everything wil be fine". Maybe it will be. But for right now, some help from him and a miracle would be good.