Anyone else feel anxiety at the gyn?

[vc10um]

Really??? They won't let your DH be in there. What kind of questions are they asking you? Just curious, as I think most spouses share info about their health and related issues.

I guess questions about sexual partners? Maybe its been an issue with people having affairs. Who knows.

Ok. That question makes sense. Didn't think of that, as my gyn doesn't ask that.

My old one didn't either, but its the only thing I can think of.

I think deer-in-headlights eyes will convince him that DH can come in.

chemgirl, I'd have your DH come with you to the appointment, speak with the physician 1-on-1, and then have one of the nurses get DH from the waiting room for the exam itself. That way, the doctor can be frank with you and feel like there's no reason for you to be secretive, etc. but you can have your husband's support.

I'm really sorry this is a tough situation for so many of you! chemgirl, I've got my fingers crossed that this turns out okay!

 

[starshine]

Take your DH in with you and insist that he be there during the exam portion. Then he can leave during the interview portion, if they are concerned about you being truthful in your answers.

 

[blacksand]

Agreed. If they insist on interviewing you one-on-one, fine, but your DH should be able to stay with you for the actual exam. If they won't allow that, find a new doctor. Your doctor should respect you.

I also get anxiety like crazy, but my response to anxiety is to clam up. I don't want to talk. I hate chit-chat during the exam. I just want it over with, and I have zero desire to be buddies with my doctor. I just get very quiet and close my eyes and then run out of there when it's done. My doctor is a male, is rather cold, and speaks English with a heavy accent. I'm fine with all of this because I really don't want to talk to him any more than necessary. That's just my style. Generally, the biggest problem I have at the gyn is when they take my blood pressure, as soon as I walk in. My anxiety levels are so high at that point that my blood pressure reading is through the roof. When I go to my GP, my blood pressure is always quite low (I'm a runner), so it's not something I'm especially concerned about, but my gyn always thinks I'm about to drop dead. I just try to meditate and just keep breathing deeply while I'm in the waiting room, and that has helped a little. But it really is a horribly unpleasant experience.

 

[Circe]

That nurse should be drummed out of the profession - her behavior is appalling.

One additional piece of advice for the physical discomfort (though I second the "flopping your knees apart" bit to relax the muscles). This might sound misandrist, but ... female doctors, yo. Not for any philosophical reason, but quite practically because they have smaller hands - all of my gynos in the past were ladies and I didn't feel a twinge, but my obstetrician is a gentleman, and a fairly large one, and, well ... ouch. I figure the physical bit is secondary to the emotional and psychological elements, but you've gotten lots of excellent advice on those counts, and I'm hoping every little bit might help. You're being very brave to confront your anxieties, and very responsible to take care of yourself in the face of those anxieties. I hope your next visit goes well.

 

[packrat]

I don't feel pain but it's uncomfortable, that stretching and it's hard not to want to pull away from it. Dr always talks before hand and during, tells me what's going on. The worst part is the rectal I think..I hate it. I'm comfortable w/Dr. tho, she has incredible bedside manner. We have two ARNP's in the office but I've never gone to them..even tho they're providers in the office and I like them a lot, it just seems weird b/c I work w/them, whereas I work *for* Dr. I try to..disengage I guess I'd call it. The more floppy my knees can be, the faster she will be done. And even tho I think I'm floppy of knee, she still has to remind me, and she laughs and she understands that it's just not fun. A nurse who behaved that way towards a patient who had anxiety issues w/the exam wouldn't be working at the office after that, if it was brought to Dr.'s attention. Dr. doesn't like to have the husbands in there during the exam, but she let JD stay when I had mine when I got pg w/our first baby b/c I wanted him to understand what women have to deal w/. Not all men can handle it, really. There are men who can't go buy tampons, you know? But I see no reason why after the initial visiting portion, your Dr. can't poke her head out the door and whisper to a nurse to go get your husband to come hold your hand or whatever you'd like him to do to help ease your anxiety. It's not like you're asking him to hang out w/Dr. at the business end.

 

[chemgirl]

Yey, so nurse called back and said there's no problem with husband being with me during the exam. The doctor also prescribed me lorazepam so I should be good I think. Wikipedia makes that stuff sound pretty potent.

Thank you all for your encouragement!

 

[Enerchi]

Come back and let us know how you got thru it! I'm keeping my hopes high that you'll get thru this year's exam just fine - hot on the heals of all this support

 

[chemgirl]

Come back and let us know how you got thru it! I'm keeping my hopes high that you'll get thru this year's exam just fine - hot on the heals of all this support

Thanks! I'm going later today. I picked up my prescription last night and the pharmacist kept on checking the ticket saying "This can't be right". His assistant rolled her eyes at him and said if people can take it when they fly I can have some to relax during a medical procedure. It was awkward but I feel validated.

I'm running on the assumption that the medication will stop me from freaking out and thus tensing up, so I'm optimistic that it'll go ok.

 

[Enerchi]

I have to take Xanax to fly and it calms me enough that I'm not gripping the armrest and willing the plane to remain *in the air by sheer will*, so if it can get me to look out the window, I'm hoping it will be able to get you to be significantly less tense. I hope it went/ goes well today. Keep those positive thoughts going.

(and what is with the people in service industries who keep ROLLING THEIR EYES???? GEEZ!!!)

 

[chemgirl]

I have to take Xanax to fly and it calms me enough that I'm not gripping the armrest and willing the plane to remain *in the air by sheer will*, so if it can get me to look out the window, I'm hoping it will be able to get you to be significantly less tense. I hope it went/ goes well today. Keep those positive thoughts going.

(and what is with the people in service industries who keep ROLLING THEIR EYES???? GEEZ!!!)

I went through with it. It still hurt a lot and the medication didn't really do much for my anxiety, but I did it.

Never taking lorazepam again though. I was super anxious for my appointment, and then really bizzarre afterwards. DH agreed to take me to the pet store as a reward, but when they didn't have the fish I wanted I was extremely upset. Then we didn't have what I wanted for dinner and I almost threw a fit like a 5 year old. I was back to normal in about 5 hours, but really really strange while it lasted.

 

[movie zombie]

i'm glad you went....and i'm sorry it was still painful and that there appear to have been problems with the anxiety med.

i'm assuming it was purely for anxiety? is it possible you need a muscle relaxant?

i really do wish you well with this. again, my fear is the dentist and i finally found one that does not make fun of me regarding my reaction to procedures. and i seriously have to have a topical anesthetic to have a shot for more involved procedures. he goes out of his way to make sure i'm comfortable.

i hope you find a gyn that is as considerate.

 

[amc80]

Ugh, I hate the gyno. I've always said that gyno offices should offer a cocktail or glass of wine at the beginning of the appointment. At my first OB appt a few weeks ago the nurse was doing an exam. She said "you are really tense, you need to learn to relax." Um, then don't stick a cold metal thing up my vajajay!

ETA- ever since this post started I though it said "anyone else feel anxiety at the gyM." And I thought, hmm, that sucks, no anxiety here. I was super confused when I read the first post. I had to reread the title like 5 times before I read it correctly. Ahhh, preggo brain.