Anyone else as indecisive (and obsessed) as I am?

[lily000]

How did you decide what kind of ring you wanted? As I read through the threads on this forum, it seems like everyone is at least sure of the shape they''d like. I can''t even make that decision! I keep going back and forth between a few styles. My boyfriend and I are finally ready to buy the ring and get engaged. The only thing holding us back is my inability to pick a ring! We''ve gone to a few places in person and I have been obsessively looking online, but I just can''t decide! I''m always really picky, and honestly, I just have a hard time making any decisions in general. I''m getting so stressed out over this. And I know it must be driving my boyfriend crazy (even though he must be used to me by now [

Anyone else have trouble choosing a ring? How did you overcome it? I''d really like to hear about your experiences looking for a ring and would appreciate any advice. Thanks for your help!

 

[Roxie Bling]

I understand your obsession. I think your indecision is stemming from wanting to make the "perfect" decision, which is understandable since you will hopefully be wearing this ring/diamond for the rest of your life. It does sound like you are narrowing down your options since you say you are going back and forth between a "few" styles (not lots of styles), so that is a step in the right direction.

I am trying to buy a ring to replace my stolen engagement and wedding ring, and I am browsing just like you are. I look on a lot of jewelry websites, look at rings here, and have tried some on at jewelry stores. At first I thought I wanted a 3 stone ring, but after trying it on, it just looked to bulky on my size 4 (rounding up) finger, so I think I am going to go with a solitaire with micropave or shared prong diamonds halfway down the band.

My old diamond was a round brilliant, but after looking at all the shapes, I have really come to love the look of a precisely cut square cushion. So that is what I am hoping for.

I think if you realize all the options that you have eliminated you will feel like you have indeed made progress. And keep trying things on, even if you decide to buy online, it is a good way to see what you like on your finger.

Good luck, and congratulations on your impending engagement.

 

[lily000]

Thanks so much for sharing your story and for the advice. I think you are definitely right about making sure to try on rings. In fact, I think I may lay off the Internet searching for a while because that''s what gets me the most stressed out. There are just too many choices and I get overwhelmed. I think I will focus on trying on more radiants and asschers, as they are the stones I''m leaning toward.

The ring you''ve described sounds beautiful by the way. With your small fingers a solitaire will look beautiful. Best wishes and good luck to you in search as well.

 

[yssie]

Deep breaths!

It''s wonderful that you''re starting to look for rings!!



I generally don''t like making decisions either, but it''s not so much because I don''t know what I want as that I want elements of everything, and can''t decide what to sacrifice on, if that makes sense? If you''re more like that, it might help to go custom - where you don''t have to sacrifice anything

. Just a thought.


Have fun with it, and good luck!!

 

[Imdanny]

I''m very indecisive and obsessed.

 

[kenny]

Perhaps just get the least expensive solitaire for now, and take your time deciding on your final setting.

 

[Londongirl1]

I think if you realize all the options that you have eliminated you will feel like you have indeed made progress. And keep trying things on, even if you decide to buy online, it is a good way to see what you like on your finger.

Good luck, and congratulations on your impending engagement.

I agree 100% - my original ering was a split shank with micro pave because that's what I thought I wanted, even though I NEVER actually tried one on. Well after less than six months I really didn't like it (it looked more like a cocktail ring than an ering) so I changed it to a solitaire, which I love. I just wish I had tried on different styles in the first place.

 

[Sizzle]

Date: 12/27/2009 9:29:21 PM
Author:lily000
How did you decide what kind of ring you wanted? As I read through the threads on this forum, it seems like everyone is at least sure of the shape they''d like. I can''t even make that decision! I keep going back and forth between a few styles. My boyfriend and I are finally ready to buy the ring and get engaged. The only thing holding us back is my inability to pick a ring! We''ve gone to a few places in person and I have been obsessively looking online, but I just can''t decide! I''m always really picky, and honestly, I just have a hard time making any decisions in general. I''m getting so stressed out over this. And I know it must be driving my boyfriend crazy (even though he must be used to me by now [

Anyone else have trouble choosing a ring? How did you overcome it? I''d really like to hear about your experiences looking for a ring and would appreciate any advice. Thanks for your help!

I think at this point, you need to pick 5 styles you like and let him pick one! That way the decision is out of your hands and since you already know you like the style, you will grow to love it becasue of what it means! Quit torturing yourself. There is no "One perfect ring". It doesn''t exist.. Ther are probably "20 perfect rings" and you can''t have them all!

 

[jewelz617]

I've always been an asscher lover. I saw one once when I was younger and said "Yup, that's it."

But as I said in an old topic, I almost threw the whole idea out for a padparadscha sapphire PEAR!

It's so beautiful but so far away from what I had originally envisioned, so I'm shelving the idea for a RHR. And not only that, but I have a cushion stone waiting in the wings in case my engagement ring needs a friend...

I am very indecisive and obsessed about my ring for over 2 years before I began the design process. And I had to go custom because I realized that my perfect ring only existed in my head and I needed someone to bring it to life for me. But once it's done I'm going to take a break, sit back, and enjoy what I DO have. Jewelry is like a never-ending pursuit. There is always something new and exciting to be completely in love with!

 

[D&T]

Date: 12/28/2009 2:26:12 AM
Author: kenny
Perhaps just get the least expensive solitaire for now, and take your time deciding on your final setting.

ditto this ....wise words here!... I"ve reset five times now in one year! wasted so much money...although I've gotten really nice RHRs but if you are ready for an engagement, but can't commit to style, I would definitely just do as Kenny suggested!.... keeps you sane, and by the time your wedding rolls around, you might find your dream ring. Also keep a folder and put all the pictures of rings you like in it, You might find there is a specific style that calls out to you more. Also what you like online, sometimes you won't like on your finger once you tried it on your finger IRL

 

[lknvrb4]

I agree, I would start with a solitaire and then work on finding the right setting for you.

 

[Collee]

I TOTALLY feel your pain. I am the MOST indecisive person ever. FF has given me the task of selecting a setting and I am SO nervous.

I know the stone that I want (vintage cushion) but unsure about the setiing. I narrowed the settings down to two and tried them both on several times. I then bought the stock setting that I really love to critque at home. Yeah, that''s how indecisive and obsessed I am. After having the setting for about a month, I am still unsure. The stock setting head is for a round and I need a modified sqaure head. In addition, the head sits really low and a wedding band will not sit flush. Since my goal is to stack (one wb on top of ering, one below), I need/want the wedding bands to sit flush. In order to achieve this desired look, the designer has to raise the head by adding a bridge. I LOVE the setting as is but nervous and can''t decide if I will love with the desired changes. Thankfully I still have time to decide as I must wait for the stone.

Do you have any setting ideas that you care to share?

 

[Round Halo Lover]

Oh my Gosh......I have trouble deciding on what to cook for dinner.......imagine when my time comes to get engaged!!!!

 

[lily000]

Thank you all for your advice! I feel a little less crazy knowing I''m not alone in my indecision.

Regarding the idea of a custom ring, that''s what I always figured I''d have to do, and it''s a great idea. The only thing is, unfortunately, I just wouldn''t know what to create! I think part of the problem is that I really don''t wear fine jewelry so it is all really new to me. Also, it''s just so much money! I just want to know that I''ll love it. Budget is definitely a concern and plays into my decision as well.

Also, since I''m not really tied to any diamond shapes, I tend to see the ring as a whole, rather than diamond and setting. I know that is probably not the smartest way to do it, it''s just the way I see it.

Here are some styles I''m thinking of: asscher with side traps, elmerald with side traps, radiant solitare with a thin princess channel setting, or any of these diamond shapes as a solitare with a thin pave or shared prong band. The only thing i know for sure is that I like the look if a thin band. I''m looking for a center diamond between 1.5 and 2 ct.

I think I may have given myself too much credit when I said I narrowed it down to a "few" styles

 

[Snicklefritz]

Sounds completely normal to me.

When I first started looking I thought I knew what I wanted, but that all flew out the window as I started reading more. I was all over the board for awhile. I researched settings I loved online and went to look at them in stores and found I hated them. So eventually, I knew I would have to pick a setting out at a local store and get the diamond online. That didn''t end up happening either since I found my diamond on CL. In the end, it all worked out. It took a VERY long time for me to settle on anything, almost a year. I did know I wanted a round, but had no clue about antique versus modern, round sidestones, asscher sidestones, pave, prong set, split shank, single shank, 4 prongs or 6. It was SO difficult. It sounds to me like you might want to go to a few more B&M stores and just try differnt styles on until something feels right, then go from there. Best of luck! I''m sure you''ll find something lovely.

 

[jewelz617]

Date: 12/28/2009 12:20:52 PM
Author: lily000
Thank you all for your advice! I feel a little less crazy knowing I''m not alone in my indecision.


Regarding the idea of a custom ring, that''s what I always figured I''d have to do, and it''s a great idea. The only thing is, unfortunately, I just wouldn''t know what to create! I think part of the problem is that I really don''t wear fine jewelry so it is all really new to me. Also, it''s just so much money! I just want to know that I''ll love it. Budget is definitely a concern and plays into my decision as well.


Also, since I''m not really tied to any diamond shapes, I tend to see the ring as a whole, rather than diamond and setting. I know that is probably not the smartest way to do it, it''s just the way I see it.


Here are some styles I''m thinking of: asscher with side traps, elmerald with side traps, radiant solitare with a thin princess channel setting, or any of these diamond shapes as a solitare with a thin pave or shared prong band. The only thing i know for sure is that I like the look if a thin band. I''m looking for a center diamond between 1.5 and 2 ct.


I think I may have given myself too much credit when I said I narrowed it down to a ''few'' styles

A designer is surprisingly affordable, believe it or not. I went in (well, not physically I did it online) with literally an archive of pretty rings and said "I like this, this, this and that." 2 weeks later I had a sketch of all the ideas meshed together in one cohesive ring.

 

[HavocBride]

Yes! Oh, heavens, yes.

I thought I liked round-brillaint diamonds. But then I see emerald cuts (wow, what a difference in cut) and I think, that''s so elegant and timeless! But then... round is so sparkly. But emerald is so sleek! But--

You get my point! It''s a difficult decision, and I''m going down that same road with you. I''m just hoping my FH is patient with me!

One thing that has helped me a lot, though, is looking through these forums at different styles. I just search for the cuts I like and look at everyone''s pictures (it helped me rule out certain diamond cuts). Maybe you can try the same?

 

[Dreamer_D]

Get a simple solitaire that way you can get engaged and enjoy planning the weddng without worrying about your ring setting.

So then all you have to do is choose the cut you like!

Think about whether you like a subtle look to your diamond or a blingy flashy look. Think about whether you want a BIG ring or maybe size doesn''t matter as much. That will matter becuase some cuts face up much smaller than others. And go see them in person. What you like on screen is not the same thing at all.

So take the setting out of the equation and it becomes much simpler.

 

[marcy]

Looking is half of the fun but I agree get a solitaire then you can get engaged and upgrade later. And yes I am indecisive and obsessed.

 

[DiamondFlame]

Let the guy pick it for you. At least if it turns out later you don''t fancy the design/setting/stone that much, it will be HIS fault, not yours! Clearly, I''m not the wisest around here... but that''s just another wildcard I''d throw in anyway.

 

[lily000]

My boyfriend doesn''t want to choose for me (can you blame him??) and honestly...I don''t think I can let him. So, add control freak to indecisive and obessed. I also can''t seem to stop looking online...so add addicted as well.

Oh well...I guess this is just the way it is for some of us. I''ll try to focus on the cut for now as many of you have suggested. Good luck to all my other indecisive girls...keep us posted on any developments!!

 

[CharmyPoo]

I am pretty indecisive when it comes to these things. My choice was made easier - the fiance said cushion and split shank. Anything else is too boring.

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 12/29/2009 10:36:39 AM
Author: CharmyPoo
I am pretty indecisive when it comes to these things. My choice was made easier - the fiance said cushion and split shank. Anything else is too boring.

It's all about personal preferance. My original ering setting was a micropave split shank but after a few months to me it started to look more like a RHR than an ering so I changed it for a solitaire which screamed "I'm engaged"

. I love my new setting and wouldn't change it back. But to each his own......

 

[CharmyPoo]

Date: 12/29/2009 10:59:11 AM
Author: Londongirl1

Date: 12/29/2009 10:36:39 AM
Author: CharmyPoo
I am pretty indecisive when it comes to these things. My choice was made easier - the fiance said cushion and split shank. Anything else is too boring.

It''s all about personal preferance. My original ering setting was a micropave split shank but after a few months to me it started to look more like a RHR than an ering so I changed it for a solitaire which screamed ''I''m engaged''

. I love my new setting and wouldn''t change it back. But to each his own......

Sorry I didn''t mean to imply anything else is too boring although that is what I wrote I really meant anything else was boring to him so I had no choice. I too felt that perhaps I should get a solitaire but he won. However, I love split shanks - many of my RHRs are split shanks.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I love split shanks! My first e-ring was also one. But yes, it is not a "traditional" e-ring look.

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 12/29/2009 11:03:45 AM
Author: CharmyPoo

Date: 12/29/2009 10:59:11 AM
Author: Londongirl1

Date: 12/29/2009 10:36:39 AM
Author: CharmyPoo
I am pretty indecisive when it comes to these things. My choice was made easier - the fiance said cushion and split shank. Anything else is too boring.

It's all about personal preferance. My original ering setting was a micropave split shank but after a few months to me it started to look more like a RHR than an ering so I changed it for a solitaire which screamed 'I'm engaged'

. I love my new setting and wouldn't change it back. But to each his own......

Sorry I didn't mean to imply anything else is too boring although that is what I wrote I really meant anything else was boring to him so I had no choice. I too felt that perhaps I should get a solitaire but he won. However, I love split shanks - many of my RHRs are split shanks.

I do know what you mean. My fiance loved the split shank too but I won in the end as my diamond does look bigger in the solitaire, although I think that's because the diamond was set low in the split shank. As long as you love your ring then that's all that matters.

 

[lily000]

Date: 12/29/2009 10:59:11 AM
Author: Londongirl1

Date: 12/29/2009 10:36:39 AM
Author: CharmyPoo
I am pretty indecisive when it comes to these things. My choice was made easier - the fiance said cushion and split shank. Anything else is too boring.

It''s all about personal preferance. My original ering setting was a micropave split shank but after a few months to me it started to look more like a RHR than an ering so I changed it for a solitaire which screamed ''I''m engaged''

. I love my new setting and wouldn''t change it back. But to each his own......

Funny you should say you felt like your original ering felt too much like a RHR...this was not something I ever really thought of, but my boyfriend brought this idea up. He felt like many of the rings I was looking at didn''t look "engagement ring-y" enough. I guess it''s important to him that my ring be an obvious engagement ring, which I can understand. Plus, he just felt like I could always get another RHR but this is the only ering I''ll have. Of course, it''s all personal preference and I don''t know if i''d feel that way, but I think it is definitely something to consider, especailly after hearing that''s the way you felt.