Anyone buy a natural and regret it?

[chchchanges]

Not sure if this is the right thread but I’m looking for advice/opinions. I spent over a month looking at stones with my jeweler, going back and forth between natural and lab and finally picking out a natural oval. I had originally not even considered lab because I wanted my ring to hold some value for eventual passing down but now I feel that it was a bad decision. We spent just under $18,000 on a natural oval 1.7 c/F/VVS2. This oval was the only one shown to me that had no visible bow tie and I kept coming back to it. Now I feel like I should’ve had them keep searching for a lab with no bow tie. I know I’ve seen labs with no bow tie here and elsewhere. Some stones down to VS2 colorless can come in under $5000. I can return this one for up to 30 days but I am scared I won’t be able to find one this pretty again. Also I’d love to work with the same jeweler as I love my setting but embarrassed to go back if I return Any advice?

Here it is (please excuse my dry hands)

 

[LightBright]

In the diamond world, you just have to have patience. Whoever told you that the possibilities are not endless, is trying to make a quick sale. Believe me! Also, don’t work with a vendor that isn’t showing you what you want to see. $18,000 is too much to spend on something you think isn’t quite right for you.

I would 100% keep looking in Lab Made Diamond world for a stone you think is well cut. If you want an heirloom diamond, it should be to your taste. Have you checked out the modern cut ovals without a bow tie from August Vintage? They may have changed their corporate name, but they also do custom and work with Lab Made Diamond. Just chiming in with my opinion.

 

[m1918]

Perhaps check out Diamonds by Lauren? They have some really pretty MMD ovals posted.

When I think about 18k vs. 5k like you said...if the fact that a diamond is MMD doesn’t bother you...I would take the savings and go with the MMD!

 

[Sprinkles&Stones]

That is a very pretty stone! Do you think that your biggest concern is the price difference? Do you think that if you returned the natural stone you love and got a MMD, that you'd regret it later cuz you'd wish you would have a natural?

For me, the most important thing is loving the cut of the stone! Either way, natural or MMD. It's hard cuz if you return it, there's always the concern that you won't find another you like as much. But unless your current diamond is a complete unicorn, you could probably find a MMD that you loved just as much. Just depends on if you're okay with that risk.

 

[AprilBaby]

I love your current oval. Yes you could get a MMD bigger and less expensive . Do you think you would upgrade in the future as far a size? If so do the MMD for now. If not, I would keep what you have.

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

Welp, if it were me, I'd go mmd for a modern cut stone. Every time. A diamond is rarely going to be investment, jewelry as a whole, is not an investment. Like a car, it depreciates the minute you plunk down the money. I have no issue with material being manufactured or natural as long as it visually brings me happiness. I'm also admittedly frugal by nature. If I can get the same thing for cheaper that approximates what I want overall?- I will, and call it good. Happily. Value is subjective. You need to comfortable with your choice and your choice is going to be the right one for you, as long as you listen to what your gut is telling you and leave extraneous pressures/expectations not your own, out of it. Don't worry about any of that. What does your gut say?

 

[elle_chris]

Yes, jewelry depreciates. However, my loose half carats are worth more today than what I bought them for years ago.
If I want to sell, I can recoup what I spent give or take a few hundred. You can't do that with an MMD.

If you plan on passing it down to your future daughter/son, I think you made the right choice going natural.

 

[lovedogs]

Yes, jewelry depreciates. However, my loose half carats are worth more today than what I bought them for years ago.
If I want to sell, I can recoup what I spent give or take a few hundred. You can't do that with an MMD.

If you plan on passing it down to your future daughter/son, I think you made the right choice going natural.

Thats pretty unusual. Most people who sell diamonds take at least a 30-40% loss or more. I certainly wouldnt ever assume that someone could recoup their costs. I think 18k is a LOT to spend on something OP isnt 100% sure about

 

[sparklynurse]

I have to agree with you lovedogs. At least that has been my experience when reselling. Many years ago my SIL wanted to sell her e-ring due to divorce. The jeweller didn't want the diamond just the gold and happily popped the stone out which my SIL turned into a pendant.

 

[123ducklings]

If you’re asking whether you can find a well-cut lab oval, yes. If you’re asking whether you should return your stone, that is something only you can decide. If I were in your shoes I would seriously consider the significance of the piece of jewelry, future plans to upgrade or hand down the piece, personal budget, and what feels “mind clean” to you. Your ring looks lovely as is! I don’t regret any of my mined diamonds.

 

[m1918]

Thats pretty unusual. Most people who sell diamonds take at least a 30-40% loss or more. I certainly wouldnt ever assume that someone could recoup their costs. I think 18k is a LOT to spend on something OP isnt 100% sure about

This! If you're unsure, 18k is definitely a lot.

 

[La2020]

If you are unsure, my advice is not to buy.

Value is relative - if it brings you joy or you will be passing down to your next generation - why not?

 

[monipod]

You're asking a bunch of us who are a little biased, though I like to call it simply open-minded to alternatives I mention this as if you're asking here, then you're probably going to get a reasonable number of us telling you to swap for an MMD, which may be what you want?

If you were to pose the same question in Rocky Talky (were it allowed), you'll get a lot of pro-mined folk telling you to keep your 18K beauty and that MMDs are worth nothing.

So... my personal view is that 18K is a lot of money to spend on something you're not happy with. For some people, 18K is not a lot of money, so upgrading the stone at a later date is not an issue so they'll keep the stone. For others, spending 18K on a stone is a massive financial setback. I don't know where you fall in those categories, but personal finance is the only consideration that matters IMHO. If you love your mined stone and you can afford to have it, enjoy it!

If this stone is intended to be a forever stone (and your ER?) then it shouldn't matter whether it holds value or not. You'll probably never get your 18K back anyway, but certainly you'll sell it more easily than you would its MMD equivalent (though who knows in X years?).

But! If in the back of your mind you think that you can probably find a MMD alternative that you'll love as much AND you can see yourself using the saving for something else then it's worth considering sending it back.

 

[monipod]

Oh! I prattled on and forgot to answer the main question... I bought a natural 2.2ct oval that's an M colour and I1 (it's pregnant with an orange crystal). This was before I considered lab stones as an option. Later I did regret it a bit as for the same money I probably could have bought a J/K lab of the same size but higher clarity. I'm back to loving my mined stone now though as it's unique and my gift from the ground. Also, the dent in the wallet has faded lol

If I was going to buy a 3+ct stone next, it would be a lab OEC.

 

[RockFox]

There really is no right or wrong, at least in my mind. If you love the oval you have and can afford it, keep it and enjoy it. If you would rather save some money now there absolutely are lab ovals out there that will knock your socks off. As PPs have said diamonds are rarely an investment.

The most important thing is that you love the stone and that you look at it and enjoy it and not second guess your decision.

Best of luck making the decision.

 

[FL_runner]

You’ve gotten great advice so far. I really think it depends on whether you feel comfortable spending that amount, whether you plan to trade in the stone eventually or keep it forever, etc. the most important thing is that you love it though!

I have both lab and mined and don’t regret my purchases- bought things I loved for prices I could afford. I’m not one to “trade in” or resell, I’m buying with the intention of enjoying and eventually passing down.

I will say that even for a mined stone 18K seems high for those specs. And there are lots of diamonds, lab and mined, out there in the world! Supply slowed way down because of COVID and may improve over the next year or two. If you really love it, keep it! But if you’re not sure and you are in the return window don’t feel bad taking it back. There’s no rush, really! I looked for my mined pear for about six months because I had a lot of criteria.

 

[chchchanges]

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses! To answer some questions. This will certainly be my forever stone with no plans to ever upgrade or change it. I have no problem with MMD and even like some of the environmentally friendly aspects of it (we looked at some from aether and diamond foundry and I love what they are doing although I’m sure some of it is falling into the marketing). In terms of being “mind clean” that might be a bigger force than the price (or at least of equal importance) pushing me to keeping looking. My biggest concern is returning it and comparing every stone back to this one, not finding something with as minimal bow tie. I guess I’m not sure how common that might be.

I also agree that 18k is a lot for these specs and tried my best to haggle with them but they only came down about 10%. This is from a sight holder and maybe that had to do with it?

 

[FL_runner]

You’ll be able to find lots of stones without a bow tie- however a well cut traditional pattern oval or pear will have a facet pattern that makes a pattern that refracts light across the middle section and will reflect color straight-on. The more elongated the more prominent it tends to be which is one reason I went with a “chubbier” and less elongated stone. My stone def does not have a dark bow tie but will concentrate color across the middle- like a little line of blue when facing up on a sunny day. https://beyond4cs.com/cut/bow-tie-effect

 

[RockFox]

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses! To answer some questions. This will certainly be my forever stone with no plans to ever upgrade or change it. I have no problem with MMD and even like some of the environmentally friendly aspects of it (we looked at some from aether and diamond foundry and I love what they are doing although I’m sure some of it is falling into the marketing). In terms of being “mind clean” that might be a bigger force than the price (or at least of equal importance) pushing me to keeping looking. My biggest concern is returning it and comparing every stone back to this one, not finding something with as minimal bow tie. I guess I’m not sure how common that might be.

I also agree that 18k is a lot for these specs and tried my best to haggle with them but they only came down about 10%. This is from a sight holder and maybe that had to do with it?

Hi there

Many, many ovals have some degree of a bow tie. It’s not to say bow tie free ones don’t exist, they do. As @FL_runner points out too.

If this is your forever stone and you love it - I say keep it, savour it and enjoy it. That’s what I would do personally, as the cost per wear for a lifetime will be worth it.

The fear of always thinking of the one that got away would be too much for me to bear, even if I paid a bit more for it. There will always be bigger, better, cheaper etc.

If you are still very unsure (and budgets permitting) why not order a MMD from one of the online vendors who have excellent return policies while you are still in your return period? You could maybe start a thread calling some of the experts for help - giving spec and budget requirements

 

[elle_chris]

Thats pretty unusual. Most people who sell diamonds take at least a 30-40% loss or more. I certainly wouldnt ever assume that someone could recoup their costs. I think 18k is a LOT to spend on something OP isnt 100% sure about

10-12 years ago I purchased a bunch of .52-53 ct H, VS1 and VS2 stones so I could turn my 5 stone into a full eternity.
All stones are either WhiteFlash ACA's or James Allen True hearts.
At the time, I paid between somewhere between 1,400-1,700 per stone.
Today, the cost is about 400-500
Not much more, but if I go to sell I may break even. Or if I take less than what I paid, it still won't be a big loss.

But yeah, I mean I wouldn't push anyone to purchase mined over manmade. That's a personal choice. The only reason I mentioned mined was because the OP said she was thinking of passing it down to a future child.

 

[tyty333]

10-12 years ago I purchased a bunch of .52-53 ct H, VS1 and VS2 stones so I could turn my 5 stone into a full eternity.
All stones are either WhiteFlash ACA's or James Allen True hearts.
At the time, I paid between somewhere between 1,400-1,700 per stone.
Today, the cost is about 400-500
Not much more, but if I go to sell I may break even. Or if I take less than what I paid, it still won't be a big loss.

But yeah, I mean I wouldn't push anyone to purchase mined over manmade. That's a personal choice. The only reason I mentioned mined was because the OP said she was thinking of passing it down to a future child.

I'm confused @elle_chris . What do you mean by the bolded?

 

[elle_chris]

I'm confused @elle_chris . What do you mean by the bolded?

Sorry, that should have said "Today, the cost is about 400-500 more per stone"

 

[lovedogs]

Sorry, that should have said "Today, the cost is about 400-500 more per stone"

I understand what you're saying, but I just don't think that is accurate. Just looked at JA for stones and there are multiple of them for 1800, and lots more for 1400-1700 if you drop to SI1 clarity in the true hearts line.

 

[elle_chris]

I understand what you're saying, but I just don't think that is accurate. Just looked at JA for stones and there are multiple of them for 1800, and lots more for 1400-1700 if you drop to SI1 clarity in the true hearts line.

Well yea, If you drop/ go up with the color or clarity the prices are going to change. They'll change for new or pre-loved as well..
I'm comparing the same color, clarity and cut stones. I think it's pretty accurate in that respect.

 

[Buttercookies]

The grass is always greener on the other side.

You will always think about the greener side whichever way you choose.

I learn to appreciate what I have in the end.

Most importantly the engagement diamond is bought by someone you loves you very much, and that is priceless.

 

[mrs-b]

Hi @chchchanges -

Firstly - what a gorgeous ring! Few questions - is that a custom made setting? Meaning - was the entire ring $17,***? I'm just trying to work out *exactly* what you paid for your diamond. If you're in CA, for example, and that includes 10% tax and 1.5k for the setting, you probably paid more like 14.5k for your diamond. Compared to what's on Blue Nile, that's actually a very good price, as their 1.7 F VVS2 ovals (only a couple of them) were more in the high 16k range. I suspect the price you gave us did include tax, so if that's the case, even if the price you quoted was the diamond alone, it's still right on target comparing with the stones on BN. So firstly - I don't think you got ripped off. And if the price you quoted *does* include the setting and tax, then you got a good deal. So there's that - and that counts for a lot.

As regards - should you switch - one thing came to mind for me: are you normally a decisive or an indecisive person? For example - are you the sort of person who might feel a level of indecision if you'd gone with any option? If you're normally very decisive and you're just indecisive in this particular situation - then perhaps switching would work better for you. But if this is normal for you, and if you can afford the money - I'd remind myself that there were reasons you went the direction you did in the first place, and I'd probably stay with that. But if - third option - you feel as tho you'd like more time and space to research, that might be a reasonable path forward for you. But - fourth option - if you're someone who could end up getting stuck in an endless cycle of research...looking...research...more looking...more diamonds...more diamonds......there can be no end to that and it might just be better to remind yourself (back to option 1!) that there were reasons you went down the path you originally chose, and just stay there. Only you can decide which option - or any other option - works for you.

But no matter where you end up, you currently have a gorgeous ring - white, clean, substantial - in a very elegant setting, for which you paid a reasonable price. So your outcome is good either way.

Good luck!

 

[strawrose]

Did the stone come with a lab report? The reflection may be a little misleading, but it looks warm for an F.

 

[kgizo]

As regards - should you switch - one thing came to mind for me: are you normally a decisive or an indecisive person? For example - are you the sort of person who might feel a level of indecision if you'd gone with any option?

This. There are days I look at my natural diamonds thinking “gosh, so much $$$, what else could I have spent that on”, and days I look at my lab diamonds thinking “haven’t worn these in ages, what a waste of money”. On the flip side, I still have regrets about diamonds I took to long to ponder and they sold to someone else. It’s normal to wonder what if on big, important purchases. If most days you look at it and think “how lucky am I to have this amazing piece of art that brings me so much joy” then it’s all good.