Angry Uncle bot

[elizabethess]

I’m practicing for Thanksgiving conversations with my politically opinionated family who are all across the spectrum, so hopefully we have a night like this instead of this

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/11/18/opinion/thanksgiving-family-argue-chat-bot.html

 

[Dancing Fire]

I’m practicing for Thanksgiving conversations with my politically opinionated family who are all across the spectrum, so hopefully we have a night like this instead of this

Are they left wingers?

 

[missy]

Haha thanks for the link @elizabethess.

Our family agrees pretty much politically thank goodness but OMG we clash like water and oil over so many other things. If I say day my mom will say night. You get the idea.

This year I am going to practice the art of zen and not let anything anyone says aggravate me. If I don't react negatively we cannot get into any arguments right? So that is my goal this Thanksgiving. If my mom (or anyone) says anything aggravating to me I will remain calm and pleasant and not react.

It's not what they say it is how I react to what they say and if I disagree or am unhappy about something they say or do I will remind myself it isn't worth getting into it with them and in order to maintain a pleasant happy holiday I will remain quiet about anything that upsets me.

It isn't about being right it's about being calm and pleasant this year and that is my goal.

Wish me luck.

 

[dk168]

The handful of times when I spent Christmas with people other than my then OH since the late 80s were not pleasant, and am unlikely to repeat the experience any time soon.
The last one was over 10y ago!
Prefer to be alone and do what I please.

DK

 

[elizabethess]

Are they left wingers?

All across the spectrum, like I said. That's why I like the Angry Uncle bot. It helps both sides be better at talking.

 

[elizabethess]

Oh, here's the text, for those who don't want to click through:

"Many of us aren’t accustomed to socializing with people who think differently from us, especially about politics. Our political attitudes and beliefs are intertwined with our most basic human needs – needs for safety, belonging, identity, self-esteem and purpose – and when they’re threatened, we’re biologically wired to respond as if we’re in physical peril.

So how can you talk with people who disagree with you without setting off this fight-or-flight response? Drawing on extensive online dialogues with conservatives and my own background in psychiatry and political psychology, I developed a five-step method to help people have difficult conversations.

Across the country, members of my nonprofit group, Smart Politics, are using this process to heal relationships damaged in the wake of the 2016 election. Many report being able to discuss politics with family members for the first time in years.

Thanksgiving is the perfect time for you to give it a try. Before the big day, practice discussing a couple of difficult topics with Angry Uncle Bot, a chat program created to help teach you the techniques."

 

[elizabethess]

It isn't about being right it's about being calm and pleasant this year and that is my goal.

Wish me luck.

Sending you the very calmest zen vibes

And when it's over, be sure to treat yourself

 

[elizabethess]

The handful of times when I spent Christmas with people other than my then OH since the late 80s were not pleasant, and am unlikely to repeat the experience any time soon.
The last one was over 10y ago!
Prefer to be alone and do what I please.

DK

I think this can be a wonderful, sanity-preserving option. One of my dearest friends travels solo with her husband every holiday season

 

[MarionC]

I wish I had had this to practice with. I don’t do family holidays anymore...maybe it would have helped. But my sister and her husband don’t need an opposing ideology to make things toxic. They yell and rant even if no one is opposing them and have all sorts of conspiracy beliefs, [it’s kind of like listening to Limbaugh], they are angry and probably afraid. It is not conducive to a pleasant holiday meal.

 

[vintageloves]

My family has a no politics policy for holidays. There is just no upside of discussion hot button issues on days that are supposed to be about togetherness. I'm not going to change my Trump loving uncle's mind, and he's not going to change mine, so what's the point?

The only relative I have who seems to not understand basic decency and decorum is my brother in law, who thinks the dinner table is a great place to call black people apes and thinks he's charmingly edgy when he does so.