An E-ring Poll for the diamond crowd!

[TristanC]

Hi, I wanted to post this poll to see what people thought of their E-rings, or how they were presented to them.

Since this is the RT forum, this poll applies only to those who received diamond engagement rings. I think it would be interesting to see what the women of PS (unless they did the proposing!) feel about their rings and how they got them.

I have an idea of which way the polls will go, but lets see what the forum actually thinks!

 

[yennyfire]

You left one off...."we did it together...perfect!"

 

[shihtzulover]

I voted that my fiance asked me to design it with him, because that's the closest to our situation.

When we first started talking about getting engaged, I showed him the ring that I thought I really wanted. I knew that I always wanted a princess cut stone, and I saw a three-stone Tacori setting online, and I thought that it was gorgeous. He went to a few different jewelry stores that carry Tacori, and did some of his own research.

After he found a store that he thought he might work with, he brought me in to have my finger sized, and also just to make sure that was the setting that I really wanted. To my surprise, I didn't love it quite as much in person, and I was actually gravitating toward the princess cut solitaires.

After that, I decided that I wanted a classic Tiffany-style setting, and we started looking at and researching diamonds together. We finally chose our diamond and setting, and I didn't see the 'put together' ring until he proposed. It was beautiful and sparkly, but I decided that I wanted to look at an AGS 000 stone. We went back to our jeweler, and actually fell in love with a larger GIA-graded diamond. Since he had just started a new job that resulted in a significant pay increase, and also because we knew that diamond prices were about to increase drastically in the near future, we went ahead and upgraded.

I still miss my original diamond a bit, because of the sentimental value that it held (the original diamond that he proposed with), but I really love my new stone!

 

[TristanC]

You left one off...."we did it together...perfect!"

Hi Yenny, there is the first option, the SO asks you to do it with him - perfect

 

[Rhea]

I'm not sure what fits me. We didn't design the e-ring, rather I was given a budget, gave input with him allowed to rule things out, he bought it, I thought it was gone forever (vintage ring), and then I was surprised with it. I did / do still have ring envy.

 

[Circe]

My scenario isn't up there - I proposed to him and offered him a diamond, he preferred to get one for me. So we picked the ring together, and I gave him a plain engagement band as per his culture's traditions. Perfect!

 

[Christina...]

Circe: I think that is really cool. Although my SO and aren't married we have both been wearing bands that we purchased for each other and have worn for over a years now, we will wear our wedding rings with the (engagement, I suppose) bands, I also have a diamond e-ring, so I plan on stacking all three.


I've had two engagements rings and we have designed both together, and I was much happier with the result the second time. The first time I was afraid to really say what I wanted and compromised....alot. The second time around I think we both better knew what it was that I wanted and I'd say its.....perfect!

 

[TristanC]

My scenario isn't up there - I proposed to him and offered him a diamond, he preferred to get one for me. So we picked the ring together, and I gave him a plain engagement band as per his culture's traditions. Perfect!

That's beautiful! Talk about empowerment - love it.

In this case your scenario would be closest if your SO did the Poll , in which case he would have designed/picked it together with you and it wound up being perfect. So there is an option for that - rather close anyway.

 

[karpouzi]

I took the first option even though we didn't "design" my e-ring and we didn't do the whole process together. I found the perfect setting and showed it to him and he liked it, so we went together to the jeweler to check out the setting in person and to look at stones. We settled on that setting and I gave him enough ideas of which of the C's were important to me (carat and cut) and he took over from there. So I pretty much knew what I would be getting, but didn't know exactly what the stone would look like. Neither of us would have had it any other way.

 

[donblaximus]

Im just curious to get PS'ers perspective from ones that designed rings together with their SO. When the time for him to pop the question came, how did you react? Surely you couldn't have been suprised since you knew it was coming. So was the proposal still formal?? Would seem a bit staged to me no?


I can totally understand why you would want to design the ring or at least provide input. I bought a center stone mounted on a simple solataire. I will tell her to design the ring how she wants it after I pop the question and if she says yes. That keeps the proposal a suprise and her reaction genuine.

 

[nfowife]

My DH and I shopped for the ring but the one I fell in love with was nothing like what I got. But I LOVED what I got! That was 10 years ago. I had my wedding band made to match it. Then about 3 years ago I lost my e-ring and I was devastated. Went through the process to replace it earlier this year (we moved overseas after losing it so decided to wait until returning to the US to replace) and I was really torn about what to do- recreate what I lost or pick something totally new (and get a new wedding band too). I was literally up at night thinking about it for weeks. In the end I decided to get something that matched my band but was slightly different from my original e-ring. I am attached to my band since I've had it for almost 10 years now (10 years next week!) and didn't want to just get rid of it. I'm very happy with my decision. My proposal was not a huge surprise as I knew it was coming soon but not when and I was surprised when my DH did it as I was not expecting it at that time.... it was very special to me.

 

[asymons412]

I told my SO the name of my favorite designer, told him that I love swirlies and twists (always have!), and he found the perfect ring.

 

[slg47]

Im just curious to get PS'ers perspective from ones that designed rings together with their SO. When the time for him to pop the question came, how did you react? Surely you couldn't have been suprised since you knew it was coming. So was the proposal still formal?? Would seem a bit staged to me no?


I can totally understand why you would want to design the ring or at least provide input. I bought a center stone mounted on a simple solataire. I will tell her to design the ring how she wants it after I pop the question and if she says yes. That keeps the proposal a suprise and her reaction genuine.

I had input on the design of the ring but not in how he proposed! I was definitely surprised. After I approved the final CAD I stayed out of the process and let him do his thing. The proposal definitely did not seem staged.

I am of the mindset that an engagement should not be a complete surprise anyway...the couple should have at least discussed marriage first. If they are going to discuss marriage...why not the ring design? It seems silly to me to spend thousands of dollars on a non-returnable 'surprise'.

 

[donblaximus]

My SO and I have discussed things pertaining to marraige, not marraige itself. I agree it is good to make sure you are on the same page about important things that married people embark on as a couple and ideals. (finances, children, family, other priorities, etc)

But as some as materialistic as a ring, I find it odd if my girlfriend told me she wanted specific things. I know I am a minority here and am certainly not bashing others decisions to design a ring together. I just think it is interesting to get other people's view points on the whole process is all.

Im just curious to get PS'ers perspective from ones that designed rings together with their SO. When the time for him to pop the question came, how did you react? Surely you couldn't have been suprised since you knew it was coming. So was the proposal still formal?? Would seem a bit staged to me no?


I can totally understand why you would want to design the ring or at least provide input. I bought a center stone mounted on a simple solataire. I will tell her to design the ring how she wants it after I pop the question and if she says yes. That keeps the proposal a suprise and her reaction genuine.

I had input on the design of the ring but not in how he proposed! I was definitely surprised. After I approved the final CAD I stayed out of the process and let him do his thing. The proposal definitely did not seem staged.

I am of the mindset that an engagement should not be a complete surprise anyway...the couple should have at least discussed marriage first. If they are going to discuss marriage...why not the ring design? It seems silly to me to spend thousands of dollars on a non-returnable 'surprise'.

 

[TristanC]

It seems there is both a male and female preference, as well as individual preferences for how this is done.

Sure some people can't see the logic or rationale of other people's choices, but I would refrain from wording it too strongly since there is a minority even on PS (the home of people who are supremely involved with jewelry) who enjoy doing things the surprise route.

I am pleasantly surprised that minority though it be, there is still a segment that likes doing it the way I would envision.

And yes, i think that stipulating requirements for a ring is materialistic. Ensuring that the budget is well spent, isn't materialistic, it is something else. Knowing what you want perhaps?

 

[TristanC]

Oddly enough, if you take out all the people whose SOs either had the foresight to ask them to be involved with design or left it to their partners; of the remainder 50% loved their surprise, and 50% wished it were done differently.

 

[Gypsy]

I did the research about the spec parameters of the shapes (2 shapes) I was interested in. Found vendors and gave him the information about the specs and the vendors. He found additional vendors to look into as well and gave them the specs. Then he went shopping and bought me my permanent diamond in a temporary setting. Why? Because I knew what I wanted in a diamond but had NO CLUE what type of setting I wanted. He wasn't about to pick a permanent setting without my input (a smart decision). It took me years to get the 'perfect' setting. But it was a great way to do things. I was surprised by the ring itself (I didn't know what shape he had ended up with) and by the proposal as well. It was fun. Collaborative enough for me, autonomous enough for him.