amount of dollars to spent on a wedding gift...

[Dancing Fire]

would it make any difference to you where the wedding is being held?

would you spent the same amount of money on the wedding gift if it was at the Four Seasons hotel or a backyard?

 

[Lauren8211]

I would give what I could afford and felt comfortable giving, regardless of venue.

 

[elrohwen]

I would spend the same no matter the venue. I might change the amount I spend depending on how close I am to the couple, but the venue wouldn't enter into the decision.

 

[Lynnie]

We usually give the same amt, no matter what the venue.

I''d probably give a little more to close family, or my best friend, though.

 

[zoebartlett]

Like the others have said, it wouldn''t matter to me where the wedding was held. I''d still give the same amount for a backyard wedding that I would if the venue was a hotel.

 

[qtiekiki]

Date: 2/15/2010 3:08:38 PM
Author: Lynnie
We usually give the same amt, no matter what the venue.

I''d probably give a little more to close family, or my best friend, though.

Ditto. We usually give according to the closeness we are to the couples, not the venue.

 

[lulu]

I''m always generous with wedding gifts, but if someone was giving me dinner at the Four Seasons I''d kick it up a notch.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 2/15/2010 3:05:46 PM
Author: elledizzy5
I would give what I could afford and felt comfortable giving, regardless of venue.

This.

 

[iheartscience]

Easy-just spend on them exactly what they spent on you!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 2/15/2010 10:30:55 PM
Author: thing2of2
Easy-just spend on them exactly what they spent on you!

hoping he do get marry someday

the friend whom spent 98 cents on our wedding gift.

and yes,the 98 cent price sticker was still on the four plastic cups.

 

[yssie]

We definitely spend more on people we''re closer to. The type of wedding may influence the type of gift, but not how much we spend or how much thought we give it

 

[whitby_2773]

wow - this is *very* relevant to me as i *just* walked in the door from dinner with my niece and her fiance, during which tim and i gave them their wedding gift.

we''re giving my niece a pair of akoya pearl and diamond earrings currently being made by BGD, as pearl is my birthstone and diamond is hers. it''s a sentimental but lovely gift for a girl i''ve always seen to some extent as my daughter. consequently our gift to her is of those proportions. the earrings are for her to wear down the aisle and i''ve arranged the best quality i can find.

for her lovely fiance we got a gift voucher to an electrical store here in australia sufficient for him to buy a reasonable flat screen tv as he loves to watch sports and will get a lot of enjoyment out of this gift.

and tonight we took them both out to dinner at Quay, rated for the last 3 years as sydney''s best restaurant:

http://www.quay.com.au/

all up, this cost about $3k, but, as i said, she is like a daughter to me and this is a one off. my standard gift would be less than 1/10th that. i find that good quality sheets and towels, while not exciting, are a useful gift that i give regularly. i can get a nice set of both and put them together for about $200. if it''s a casual wedding, or i dont know them well, i will give one or the other, the sheets generally being cheaper.

my standard engagement gift is a photo of the couple in a nice frame. costs around $50.

 

[that_someone_special]

Date: 2/16/2010 1:27:26 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 2/15/2010 10:30:55 PM

Author: thing2of2

Easy-just spend on them exactly what they spent on you!

hoping he do get marry someday

the friend whom spent 98 cents on our wedding gift.

and yes,the 98 cent price sticker was still on the four plastic cups.

Be generous. I''d say $1 should be your max.. (plus tax... so maybe the Dollar Store?)

 

[trillionaire]

I don''t give more for a nicer wedding, I give more if I don''t have to buy a plane ticket. All told, I''ve only been to two weddings that I didn''t have to fly to.

If I have to pay $400 to get to your wedding, plus hotel costs and car rental, yeah, it''s coming out of your bottom line. As much as I''d love to have $1,000 to spend on every wedding, I''m just not there yet, financially.

 

[Burberrygirl]

Hmm, interesting question. My mother always told me that the amount of money she gives as a present depends on her relationship with the couple, the venue (price of the meal), and how many people are invited. I haven''t been to many weddings without my family (none of my friends are really getting married yet), but I always consider how well I know the couple and then how much the dinner costs. I think people should give what they''re comfortable giving financially.

 

[charbie]

Date: 2/15/2010 3:07:49 PM
Author: elrohwen
I would spend the same no matter the venue. I might change the amount I spend depending on how close I am to the couple, but the venue wouldn''t enter into the decision.

this.

 

[elle_chris]

Date: 2/16/2010 9:59:24 AM
Author: Burberrygirl
Hmm, interesting question. My mother always told me that the amount of money she gives as a present depends on her relationship with the couple, the venue (price of the meal), and how many people are invited. I haven''t been to many weddings without my family (none of my friends are really getting married yet), but I always consider how well I know the couple and then how much the dinner costs. I think people should give what they''re comfortable giving financially.

Same.

 

[Bia]

I give depending on how close I am to the couple (venue does not matter). For not-so-close friends (usually children of our parents'' friends) we give $200. For cousins and/or close family members and friends, around $400. For my brother and FI''s sister, we gave more.

 

[gemgirl]

Date: 2/16/2010 10:09:26 AM
Author: elle_chris

Date: 2/16/2010 9:59:24 AM
Author: Burberrygirl
Hmm, interesting question. My mother always told me that the amount of money she gives as a present depends on her relationship with the couple, the venue (price of the meal), and how many people are invited. I haven''t been to many weddings without my family (none of my friends are really getting married yet), but I always consider how well I know the couple and then how much the dinner costs. I think people should give what they''re comfortable giving financially.

Same.

I agree with the ladies above. We decide what we''re going to give based on our relationship to the couple and the venue. Maybe New York is different because we have such a wide variety of places for couples to have their reception. We give a minimum of $250./$300. but it can go much higher because we have some pretty pricey venues here. My girlfriend''s son celebrated his wedding at Robert DeNiro''s roof top restaurant in Tribeca where they paid $700.- a couple for the dinner, and then we have Oheka that starts at $1,000.- per couple. Yes, where the reception is being held matters because we''ve both been taught that you try to cover the cost of the meals.

Then again, another girlfriend''s daughter got married in the backyard of her new in-laws house. I bought her a strand of Akoya pearls and gave them $50.- in a card, which didn''t turn out to be such a bad decision until they got divorced and she hocked the pearls

.

 

[that_someone_special]

Date: 2/16/2010 9:38:10 AM
Author: trillionaire
I don''t give more for a nicer wedding, I give more if I don''t have to buy a plane ticket. All told, I''ve only been to two weddings that I didn''t have to fly to.

If I have to pay $400 to get to your wedding, plus hotel costs and car rental, yeah, it''s coming out of your bottom line. As much as I''d love to have $1,000 to spend on every wedding, I''m just not there yet, financially.

This is why I keep telling my friends that they ARE the gift if they attend my wedding in vegas.. I can''t imagine expecting more

 

[Lilac]

I give more to close friends than I do to people who I''m not very close to. The venue doesn''t make a difference to me.

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Date: 2/16/2010 10:26:42 AM
Author: gemgirl

Date: 2/16/2010 10:09:26 AM
Author: elle_chris

Date: 2/16/2010 9:59:24 AM
Author: Burberrygirl
Hmm, interesting question. My mother always told me that the amount of money she gives as a present depends on her relationship with the couple, the venue (price of the meal), and how many people are invited. I haven''t been to many weddings without my family (none of my friends are really getting married yet), but I always consider how well I know the couple and then how much the dinner costs. I think people should give what they''re comfortable giving financially.

Same.

I agree with the ladies above. We decide what we''re going to give based on our relationship to the couple and the venue. Maybe New York is different because we have such a wide variety of places for couples to have their reception. We give a minimum of $250./$300. but it can go much higher because we have some pretty pricey venues here. My girlfriend''s son celebrated his wedding at Robert DeNiro''s roof top restaurant in Tribeca where they paid $700.- a couple for the dinner, and then we have Oheka that starts at $1,000.- per couple. Yes, where the reception is being held matters because we''ve both been taught that you try to cover the cost of the meals.

Then again, another girlfriend''s daughter got married in the backyard of her new in-laws house. I bought her a strand of Akoya pearls and gave them $50.- in a card, which didn''t turn out to be such a bad decision until they got divorced and she hocked the pearls

.

Are you kidding me?!?! $1000/couple?!?! I was invited to a wedding there in April and there is NO WAY I would even consider covering the cost of our meal if that is what it costs there

They will probably get the standard $300 I give for not-so-close friends...I didn''t pick their venue, why should I feel obligated to cover the cost of my attendance?

 

[elle_chris]

hisdiamondgirl- No one said you "have" to. It''s just what some of us do. It could also be a regional thing. In NY (at least the people I know), we give cash, not gifts because weddings here are generally expensive and you want the family to recoup the costs.

But if the family is paying 700 a plate, i can totally see how most people aren''t going to cover it. Hell, I wouldn''t either if they weren''t close. But if they are close, I''d have no problem giving that plus more.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 2/16/2010 10:26:42 AM
Author: gemgirl

Date: 2/16/2010 10:09:26 AM
Author: elle_chris

Date: 2/16/2010 9:59:24 AM
Author: Burberrygirl
Hmm, interesting question. My mother always told me that the amount of money she gives as a present depends on her relationship with the couple, the venue (price of the meal), and how many people are invited. I haven''t been to many weddings without my family (none of my friends are really getting married yet), but I always consider how well I know the couple and then how much the dinner costs. I think people should give what they''re comfortable giving financially.

Same.

I agree with the ladies above. We decide what we''re going to give based on our relationship to the couple and the venue. Maybe New York is different because we have such a wide variety of places for couples to have their reception. We give a minimum of $250./$300. but it can go much higher because we have some pretty pricey venues here. My girlfriend''s son celebrated his wedding at Robert DeNiro''s roof top restaurant in Tribeca where they paid $700.- a couple for the dinner, and then we have Oheka that starts at $1,000.- per couple. Yes, where the reception is being held matters because we''ve both been taught that you try to cover the cost of the meals.

Then again, another girlfriend''s daughter got married in the backyard of her new in-laws house. I bought her a strand of Akoya pearls and gave them $50.- in a card, which didn''t turn out to be such a bad decision until they got divorced and she hocked the pearls

.

gg...that''s how feel too,but what if you invited me to a $1000 per couple dinner and i can''t really afford to gift $1000?

 

[katamari]

I firmly believe that gifts should be scaled to the guests means and their relationship with the couple and not the venue or cost of the wedding. Every single element of the wedding beyond the cost of the marriage license is an indulgence. Brides, grooms, and other vested parties make these indulgences because of their personal preferences. I feel that passing these expenses onto the guests (or to expect to) is incredibly misguided and selfish.

 

[Bia]

WOW...$1000

I live in NY but in my circle $300-$500 is standard (and that's close friends). Typically the people who give $1000 or more are grandparents/close relatives (older and established relatives usually). I've been to a wedding at Oheka and while it was expensive, and lovely, the venue did not influence how much we felt we needed to give. You give what you can I guess.

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 2/16/2010 6:01:14 PM
Author: katamari
I firmly believe that gifts should be scaled to the guests means and their relationship with the couple and not the venue or cost of the wedding. Every single element of the wedding beyond the cost of the marriage license is an indulgence. Brides, grooms, and other vested parties make these indulgences because of their personal preferences. I feel that passing these expenses onto the guests (or to expect to) is incredibly misguided and selfish.

I completely agree with this.

 

[NakedFinger]

Date: 2/16/2010 1:11:18 PM
Author: hisdiamondgirl

Date: 2/16/2010 10:26:42 AM

Author: gemgirl

Date: 2/16/2010 10:09:26 AM

Author: elle_chris

Date: 2/16/2010 9:59:24 AM

Author: Burberrygirl

Hmm, interesting question. My mother always told me that the amount of money she gives as a present depends on her relationship with the couple, the venue (price of the meal), and how many people are invited. I haven't been to many weddings without my family (none of my friends are really getting married yet), but I always consider how well I know the couple and then how much the dinner costs. I think people should give what they're comfortable giving financially.

Same.

I agree with the ladies above. We decide what we're going to give based on our relationship to the couple and the venue. Maybe New York is different because we have such a wide variety of places for couples to have their reception. We give a minimum of $250./$300. but it can go much higher because we have some pretty pricey venues here. My girlfriend's son celebrated his wedding at Robert DeNiro's roof top restaurant in Tribeca where they paid $700.- a couple for the dinner, and then we have Oheka that starts at $1,000.- per couple. Yes, where the reception is being held matters because we've both been taught that you try to cover the cost of the meals.


Then again, another girlfriend's daughter got married in the backyard of her new in-laws house. I bought her a strand of Akoya pearls and gave them $50.- in a card, which didn't turn out to be such a bad decision until they got divorced and she hocked the pearls

.

Are you kidding me?!?! $1000/couple?!?! I was invited to a wedding there in April and there is NO WAY I would even consider covering the cost of our meal if that is what it costs there

They will probably get the standard $300 I give for not-so-close friends...I didn't pick their venue, why should I feel obligated to cover the cost of my attendance?

Regarding Oheka Castle.....I LOOVVEE that place, and yes unfortunately it is $500 per head (the Jonas kid who just got married had it there.....Derek Jeter is having it there...you get where I am going with this? lol)

Etiquette does dictate that you should base your gift on the venue, and basically cover what you estimate the per person price to cost (basically. covering your plate). The problem is, people have no idea what you spent! lol. Some people may not know what Oheka costs, or some people may book at a very nice venue but modified the menu or booked short term/off season to get a better rate. Or vice versa, book at a place perceived as cheaper but upgraded the menu/bar. Because of this, I cant tell you how many phone calls I get from wedding guests (for those that dont know, so this makes sense to you, I am a wedding planner) asking me how much the couple is spending per head so they know how much to give!

I never answer that question because I think its private and wont share personal information, and frankly tacky on the guest's part. This is why many people end up bringing a card and writing in the amount on the blank check once they get to the event.

Thats what etiquette says. Honestly, I say give what you can afford to give, and like others have said, I give based on closeness to the couple (although I will admit I was a little irked that my FI and I gave $500 to his cousin for a wedding with no DJ/Dancing, no dinner and just a carving station and an Italian station. Thats is! no heavy CH at least or even dessert) so it couldnt have cost more than $35/head). if its a close family/friend more than lets say it was a work colleague or distant relative.

 

[Elmorton]

DH and I have one amount for casual friends and another for close friends.

I feel bad, but what we give is also really based on our finances. Back when my friends first started getting married, I thought that a $30 gift (after a $20 shower gift) was pretty decent. It''s a little unfair, too, because now that we''re a bit older, EVERYONE is doing a destination (or destination to us) wedding, so not only do we spend a heck of a lot more, but we end up shelling out typically a grand for us to travel there too...but frankly, we''re probably still not covering our plates, even though our gift has grown.

I think the "etiquette" of estimating how much a person will spend on a wedding/per head is really tacky. Frankly, it''s none of my business what the couple spends. I can estimate what sit-down dinner would cost in a given region, and that''s one thing, but saying any variation of "whoa, those people are shelling out to have their wedding there!" doesn''t seem very proper to me. Giving what your can afford is always in proper etiquette.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 2/15/2010 3:01:46 PM
Author:Dancing Fire
would it make any difference to you where the wedding is being held?

would you spent the same amount of money on the wedding gift if it was at the Four Seasons hotel or a backyard?

No difference to me... Would spend the same.