Am i stupid or what?

[MichelleCarmen]

It doesn't sound like you feel like he respects you. If you feel like he feels that you're a "cheap date," then are you sure you're ready to commit to a lifetime of feeling like that? You need to tell him how you feel. If this is just an eng ring issue, but he's generous in other ways, I wouldn't be concerned, but if he's cheap toward you in ALL ways but buys all he wants for himself, then sounds like there's a problem.

 

[doberman]

I don't believe in hard and fast rules for the price of an engagement ring. Whether it is two months salary or two hours salary as long as both parties are fine with it, great. (Actually I do have one rule: don't go into debt for a ring.) That being said you and your fiance are clearly not on the same page with regard to costs. If you marry you will face far greater dilemmas than this. So talk to him honestly and kindly. Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship.

 

[iluvshinythings]

I think you need to have a serious talk with yourself and then have a serious talk with your fiancee. If you feel like he shortchanged you on the ring you need to decide if that's okay with you and if that's his normal pattern and whether you think it will change or not. It sounds like you feel like he spends more money on himself than he spends on you. That could be a huge problem down the road in the relationship.

If you got a less than nice ring and you are upset about it, I think you need to chill out before proceeding and do some soul searching. If you always get the short end of the relationship financially, I think you need to really think about whether or not that is something you want to accept for the rest of your life.

I do know one thing that I learned the hard way. I don't accept double standards anymore. If my needs and wants aren't as important to the other person as their own needs and wants - I'd walk away. Doesn't matter if it's something big like a ring or something small like a piece of gum.

 

[distracts]

...The basic rule is .30ct per year together, so 6 X .30 ct = a 1.8 ct diamond....

DF, by this method, my engagement ring should only have been .15 carats!!!

 

[Candygrl]

[quote by diamondseeker2006 » 05 Jan 2014 17:20
I am quite sure I would feel the same way. When someone loves another person, they should want to make sacrifices to make the other happy. Since you two have dated for 6 years, I think he would have had time to save more than 48 euros. But have you two ever discussed engagement, rings, etc.? Because I would also think over that amount of time that you should have had a chance to talk about the future and perhaps showed him rings you like. If not, then you two have some basic communication issues that need to be resolved before you move forward. Men absolutely cannot guess what a woman wants. They really have to be told nicely but directly. Maybe he has no close friends or relatives who have given a nice engagement ring. I do think you should talk to him and express appreciation for the current ring but that you would like the two of you to look at real engagement rings and make a plan to get something else prior to getting married. If he is not willing to do that yet he spends money for things for himself, then I think you need to be sure you can live with a self-centered person who has little regard for making you happy. I have a relative married to someone like this, and I would not have been able to tolerate it.
][/quote]

This!

 

[Andelain]

............... But the fact that he is willing to spend more on himself and he didn't spend a lot of money to buy stuff to me and stuff, i really cant over thinking that I am really quite a cheap date for him. I basically a zero maintenance to him, I bought him more stuff and given him as much support as I can offer whenever he needs it............

I think the problems here go much deeper than just a cheap ring. If I were you I'd step back and really look at what you want from a mate.

 

[Dancing Fire]

...The basic rule is .30ct per year together, so 6 X .30 ct = a 1.8 ct diamond....

DF, by this method, my engagement ring should only have been .15 carats!!!

WOW!!,only 6 months? you were easy...

 

[Confection10]

Distracts, don't worry. Dancing Fire is so funny. I was much easier; we engaged two hours before our wedding (after six months dating). I got two yellow gold plain bands. And I chose them by myself. This year we'll celebrate our 18 year anniversary.

 

[distracts]

...The basic rule is .30ct per year together, so 6 X .30 ct = a 1.8 ct diamond....

DF, by this method, my engagement ring should only have been .15 carats!!!

WOW!!,only 6 months? you were easy...

You mean my husband was easy... I told him I wanted to marry him and he had very little choice in the matter.

Distracts, don't worry. Dancing Fire is so funny. I was much easier; we engaged two hours before our wedding (after six months dating). I got two yellow gold plain bands. And I chose them by myself. This year we'll celebrate our 18 year anniversary.

Confection10, my parents were just dating three months before they got engaged. My mother always told me I shouldn't move as fast as they did because it was just luck that everything worked out - so I waited twice as long.

 

[Confection10]

...The basic rule is .30ct per year together, so 6 X .30 ct = a 1.8 ct diamond....

DF, by this method, my engagement ring should only have been .15 carats!!!

WOW!!,only 6 months? you were easy...

You mean my husband was easy... I told him I wanted to marry him and he had very little choice in the matter.

Distracts, don't worry. Dancing Fire is so funny. I was much easier; we engaged two hours before our wedding (after six months dating). I got two yellow gold plain bands. And I chose them by myself. This year we'll celebrate our 18 year anniversary.

Confection10, my parents were just dating three months before they got engaged. My mother always told me I shouldn't move as fast as they did because it was just luck that everything worked out - so I waited twice as long.