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Am I NORMAL?

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sunshine14

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 2, 2005
Messages
247
Am I normal? Please help oh wise ones...

So, my bf recently (as in TODAY) put through the wire transfer for the stone for the Ering. It is so exciting!! However...it makes me pretty nervous! Up until recently I''ve been so settled and peaceful knowing that I had found the person I wanted to share my life with but all of a sudden, when the money was about to change hands, I got so nervous!

I think part of it may be the actual money. I''ve been involved in the process, so I''m very aware of what it is costing my wonderful bf...and I guess it is one thing to talk hypothetically as in "this could be a stone we could look at" or mythical budgets that we kept in mind, but now that the actually money has been sent...YIKES!

I don''t have doubts about my bf and being the one and everything...we''ve been together 3 years and I''m very sure of that much...but these nerves have really blindsided me.

Now I think its the nerves that are making me nervous! Haha

So...please tell me...is this normal? Thanks in advance for any advice/help from those who have been through this already!
 

FacetFire

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 26, 2006
Messages
1,879
I definitely had the "I am nervous/guilty about the money" time period after I knew my then-BF had bought the diamond. Don''t worry...it passes! (And then you start thinking about spending more...hahaha) Honestly, it still isn''t that much money in the long run...there aren''t that many things that you will wear every single day of your life. I think someone here once did the math and figured out how much an e-ring would cost per day...it was funny, I''ll see if I can find it.

But, really, don''t stress yourself over it...he wanted to do it for you. Enjoy it!


And congrats on your upcoming engagement!
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
Oh my, this brings back memories! I remember wanting it so badly and thinking about it day and night, and when he finally gave me the go... I suddenly was terrified! I talked to him about it and he calmed me down. Looking back on it I think it was normal jitters... It''ll pass, don''t worry.
 

princessmo2

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 22, 2006
Messages
29
Sunshine - Don''t worry, I think this is perfectly normal! I had a similar reaction a few months ago when I discovered (by accident) that my BF was looking at rings on the internet. On the one hand, I was really excited, because I know I want to marry him and I''ve been waiting so (im)patiently, but I was surprised to realize that I was also nervous! I couldn''t exactly explain why, though I think it was a kind of "oh my gosh, this is really going to happen" thing, but it quickly passed and I went back to being excited. And, well, it hasn''t happened yet, so I feel quite used to the idea now.
 

goldenstar

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 16, 2006
Messages
1,045
YES! NORMAL! I went through exactly what you are going through, like, 3 days ago! lol. We have been looking at diamonds and budgets for months now, and talking about engagement for much longer. Our diamond from GOG arrived on Friday and I thought "Oh man, this is it. Yikes." But not because I was afraid to commit to BF. The whole thing just became so much more tangible. Then I felt guilty about the money, which I still feel every now and then. So I kept saying, "we can send it back if its too expensive." But BF doesn''t want to send it back. Whew. I''m sure he wouldn''t have purchased it in the first place if it was too much. Now that the diamond is here I''ve been pestering him about the actual engagement. It will never end. Poor guy... Patience is a virtue that I do not possess.
 

sunshine14

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 2, 2005
Messages
247
Thank you so much everybody! What a relief! It''s so funny...the range of emotions that come around all at the same time.

I''m happy to hear that I shouldn''t be worried about my run-in with the nervous nellies...hopefully once I see the diamond and see how excited by BF is with it, I''ll feel better.

I''m sure I''ll have this anxiety when he acutally proposes, and maybe when we pick the venue and maybe when I pick my dress...haha. Oh the things to look forward to!

Thanks again for the advice, and to anyone else who wants to chime in on their small bouts of anxiety!
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Messages
11,071
Date: 1/15/2007 9:02:02 PM
Author:sunshine14
Am I normal? Please help oh wise ones...

So, my bf recently (as in TODAY) put through the wire transfer for the stone for the Ering. It is so exciting!! However...it makes me pretty nervous! Up until recently I''ve been so settled and peaceful knowing that I had found the person I wanted to share my life with but all of a sudden, when the money was about to change hands, I got so nervous!

I think part of it may be the actual money. I''ve been involved in the process, so I''m very aware of what it is costing my wonderful bf...and I guess it is one thing to talk hypothetically as in ''this could be a stone we could look at'' or mythical budgets that we kept in mind, but now that the actually money has been sent...YIKES!

I don''t have doubts about my bf and being the one and everything...we''ve been together 3 years and I''m very sure of that much...but these nerves have really blindsided me.

Now I think its the nerves that are making me nervous! Haha

So...please tell me...is this normal? Thanks in advance for any advice/help from those who have been through this already!
yes its normal LOL when I found my stone I was sooooooo *certain* I had to see it, even knowing the cost.... and when i got it I tried to convince myself for the entire month that I should return it - too much money, maybe there''s something better out there, do I really want to do this (get a diamond) at all.... and the last few days I really tortured myself in this panic gripped fear LOL But when it was finally "too late" to return it this huge wave of relief enveloped me and I''ve been fine since lol!
 

lehcarm

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 23, 2006
Messages
242
Either the feeling you have are totally normal, or I am abnormal with you. I had some of the same feelings as we waited in line at the bank today to wire the money for the stone. I''m not nervous about spending the rest of my life with my BF, I''m a little worried about spending the money. I hope those feelings go away once I open the diamond tomorrow.

Good luck!
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
I have the exact same feeling! The amount of money just seems huge! D doesnt have a problem spending it but it just worries me
 

MustangFan

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 27, 2006
Messages
935
I think it''s normal, I kinda got sad that the hunt was over and that it was a big chunk of change that he doesn''t have.
 

sunshine14

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 2, 2005
Messages
247
Yeah...I guess the "honey! Look at this great deal I found!" will have to stop once the stone is here eh? Haha...poor bf. He''d go mental thinking that we didn''t get the best deal!
 

musey

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2006
Messages
11,242
Date: 1/16/2007 6:38:06 PM
Author: MustangFan
I think it's normal, I kinda got sad that the hunt was over and that it was a big chunk of change that he doesn't have.
That's EXACTLY how I feel! I hope that feeling passes once that baby's on my finger



ETA: It never ceases to amaze me how similar we (as in all women) are when it comes to issues like this! Almost all of us go through the whole "engagement fever" period and, for the most part, it starts around the same time... now I learn that I am totally normal freaking out that the ring I've wanted for so long is finally BOUGHT!
This board always makes me feel such a fantastic sense of comaraderie.
 

lehcarm

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 23, 2006
Messages
242
Date: 1/16/2007 9:27:42 PM
Author: musey
Date: 1/16/2007 6:38:06 PM

Author: MustangFan


ETA: It never ceases to amaze me how similar we (as in all women) are when it comes to issues like this! Almost all of us go through the whole ''engagement fever'' period and, for the most part, it starts around the same time... now I learn that I am totally normal freaking out that the ring I''ve wanted for so long is finally BOUGHT!
This board always makes me feel such a fantastic sense of comaraderie.
I totally agree! We all share similar emotions even though we all lead different lives in different parts of the world. That''s why I love this board so much!
 
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