Hi everybody
First of all sorry for the long post.
I haven't posted here in quite some time, but I often check in to look at the pretty bling and see what's up with familiar posters.
This is somewhat of a vent, but I'm also interested in hearing from people who may have had similar experiences.
I was never officially a LIW, but I was in a 4 year long relationship that I (at one point) hoped would end in marriage. There's a post somewhere about this, but long story short, he didn't want the same things and we broke up about 11 months ago. I was really sad about it, but I never really doubted that I did the right thing. After I got past the initial 'mourning' period I felt pretty optimistic about the future but also at times angry about the past relationship. Not just angry at him, but also angry at myself. I had invested much of myself into the relationship, and him not very much. I guess I was angry at myself for not recognizing that he was not at that point, or ever, going to put forth much energy into the relationship. For the most part these feelings have subsided, and a few months ago I started seeing somebody new. We've taken things really slow (mostly due to me - I think that my previous experiences have turned me into a commitment-phobe. Not because I don't want it, but because I'm terrified of getting involved in another situation like my last relationship), but I really am happy with my new guy and he's a great communicator, which was really lacking in my last relationship. I in no way want to be back in my previous relationship, but at times I do miss the familiarity of it.
Anyway, today I was in town and saw a woman who is an old roommate of both my ex and I. She lives several hours away, so it was pretty unexpected to see her. She was a great friend (but was ex's friend first) and was a big advocate of my relationship with my ex. After she moved, I didn't see her often, but we still remained friends and she would visit us a couple of times a year. The last contact I had with her was an e-mail to both me and my ex (shortly after we had broken up) saying she missed us both and telling us to give each other a big kiss for here. I felt incredibly awkward and didn't reply. I'm not sure if my ex did, but he may have.
So what did I do when I saw her? She didn't see me, and like a scared little puppy I turned around and made a bee-line for my car. I totally didn't expect myself to react that way, and I don't know why, but I got super emotional about it (crying, the whole 9 yards). It would have been a slightly awkward conversation, but I know she wouldn't have been angry with me for ignoring her e-mail. I think I just really, really didn't want to talk about my ex and explain what happened with the relationship. Now I feel like a real jerk AND I'm trying to figure out what my strong emotional reaction means. Am I not ready to be dating this other guy if I'm still ending up in tears about my past relationship? I'm also feeling somewhat annoyed at myself - like 'Come on Olive! It's been 11 months and it was your choice, get over it!'
Any of you pricescopers have similar experiences? I just want to move on, but it seems I'm having a little trouble.
I haven't posted here in quite some time, but I often check in to look at the pretty bling and see what's up with familiar posters.
This is somewhat of a vent, but I'm also interested in hearing from people who may have had similar experiences.
I was never officially a LIW, but I was in a 4 year long relationship that I (at one point) hoped would end in marriage. There's a post somewhere about this, but long story short, he didn't want the same things and we broke up about 11 months ago. I was really sad about it, but I never really doubted that I did the right thing. After I got past the initial 'mourning' period I felt pretty optimistic about the future but also at times angry about the past relationship. Not just angry at him, but also angry at myself. I had invested much of myself into the relationship, and him not very much. I guess I was angry at myself for not recognizing that he was not at that point, or ever, going to put forth much energy into the relationship. For the most part these feelings have subsided, and a few months ago I started seeing somebody new. We've taken things really slow (mostly due to me - I think that my previous experiences have turned me into a commitment-phobe. Not because I don't want it, but because I'm terrified of getting involved in another situation like my last relationship), but I really am happy with my new guy and he's a great communicator, which was really lacking in my last relationship. I in no way want to be back in my previous relationship, but at times I do miss the familiarity of it.
Anyway, today I was in town and saw a woman who is an old roommate of both my ex and I. She lives several hours away, so it was pretty unexpected to see her. She was a great friend (but was ex's friend first) and was a big advocate of my relationship with my ex. After she moved, I didn't see her often, but we still remained friends and she would visit us a couple of times a year. The last contact I had with her was an e-mail to both me and my ex (shortly after we had broken up) saying she missed us both and telling us to give each other a big kiss for here. I felt incredibly awkward and didn't reply. I'm not sure if my ex did, but he may have.
So what did I do when I saw her? She didn't see me, and like a scared little puppy I turned around and made a bee-line for my car. I totally didn't expect myself to react that way, and I don't know why, but I got super emotional about it (crying, the whole 9 yards). It would have been a slightly awkward conversation, but I know she wouldn't have been angry with me for ignoring her e-mail. I think I just really, really didn't want to talk about my ex and explain what happened with the relationship. Now I feel like a real jerk AND I'm trying to figure out what my strong emotional reaction means. Am I not ready to be dating this other guy if I'm still ending up in tears about my past relationship? I'm also feeling somewhat annoyed at myself - like 'Come on Olive! It's been 11 months and it was your choice, get over it!'
Any of you pricescopers have similar experiences? I just want to move on, but it seems I'm having a little trouble.