Am I a horrible person

[googlyeyes]

Please don''t throw tomatoes at me, but I definitely like larfer diamonds. My fiance proposed about a month ago with a lovely 1.5 carat RBC. The GIA report is older so it doesn''t have all the necessary specs but here is what I do know:

carat: 1.5
depth: 61.5%
table: 57%
polish: VG
symmetry: VG
clarity: VVSI
color: I
fluor: faint

i also know he paid about 13k for the stone alone on blue nile. problem is, i just keep wondering if i could have gotten a stone with a larger carat weight for sacrificing some of the clarity, since carat is more important to me - maybe something with an SI2 spec? I just feel like a big chunk of that 13k went towards the VVSI rating when that was probably lower on my ring desire totem pole. The 30 day return policy has passed and I guess I am out of options. i don''t know if i should say something or just let it go and be happy with what i have. just wanted to ramble and get some of your opinions. thanks for listening. i wish i would have discovered this board a few months ago when i was laying on the engagement pressure!!

 

[zoebartlett]

Hi! Welcome to PS! I don''t think you''d be alone here in liking larger diamonds.

I think VVS1 might be a bit much and I think you could go to VS2 or even SI1 and save some money. SI1 as long as it''s eye clean. I wouldn''t want to go lower than that, personally.

Since the 30 day return policy has come and gone though, I don''t think there''s many options now. If you love the diamond, that''s what matters. I wouldn''t say anything at this point. Congratulations on your engagement!

 

[Maisie]

I think you should smile and be grateful. When you were ''laying on the engagement pressure'' you obviously didn''t tell him exactly what you wanted. You can''t blame him for not buying you a bigger rock.

1.5 is not small - in fact if you don''t want it send it my way!!

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 3/18/2007 7:38:06 AM
Author: Maisiebelle
I think you should smile and be grateful. When you were ''laying on the engagement pressure'' you obviously didn''t tell him exactly what you wanted. You can''t blame him for not buying you a bigger rock.

1.5 is not small - in fact if you don''t want it send it my way!!

Oh Maisie...

For the record, I don''t think 1.5ct is small either.

 

[february2003bride]

Blue Nile has amazing customer service. Call and tell them that you want to exchange your diamond for a lower clarity, high carat weight from Blue Nile and I''ll bet that they let you exchange it. After we bought my diamond I wanted to go smaller (although we decided not too) and it was a month after the 30 days had expired, and as long as I exchanged the stone with BN, they were totally fine with it.

Good luck!

 

[Maisie]

While that may be an option I wonder how your fiance will feel..... if you think he will be fine with it then go ahead but I know if I had put so much effort into something I would be really upset if my hubby wanted to change his wedding ring for example.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I personally would not go lower than VS2 in an e-ring although I definitely understand that others feel differently. There are a couple of possibilities to gain a little size in the $13,000 I VS2, SI1 range. Here''s one at 1.73 cts. You''d have to go really low in clarity to get up to a 2 ct. and I''d be worried about visible inclusions at that point.

http://www.bluenile.com/diamonds_details.asp?__fun_frm=b&pid=LD00995455&filter_id=0

However, few people get engaged with even a 1.5 ct. diamond, so I think that is a large and lovely size in the event that you think your fiance would not be happy about an exchange!

 

[neatfreak]

While BN might be ok with it...Will your Fiance?

I also have been putting on a slight push towards things. We bought a stone finally, and it is being set right now. But I think that if I told him now I wanted to change it he would be really mad since he has put a lot of his time and effort into things.

That''s just him...so if you KNOW your FI will be ok with it, you could ask. But it also might look like you''re ungrateful for what he got you, so be cautious before you act.

1.5 is NOT small. Many of us have much smaller so I would just be thankful you can afford such a big gorgeous rock and go with it!

 

[Diamond*Dana]

I don''t know, do you have any sentimental attachment to the ring and stone that he proposed with? Ho9w would your fiance feel about it if you did trade it in?

 

[Kaleigh]

I think you could be going down a slippery slope with your FI. Maybe he would be fine with trading it in to BN for a larger stone, but what if he''s not ok with it and his feelings get hurt??? I''d really think hard about this. What does the stone look like, is it beautiful to you?? 1.5 is certainly not small in my book. It''s a wonderful size, but you are the one wearing it and I''m not. How about showing us some pics??

 

[Phoenix]

When I got engaged 11 years ago, I got a 1 carat stone and thought it was HUGE!

. More importantly, I was happy that DH (obviously at the time FI) proposed to me and that we were going to spend our lives together. I never questioned the diamond, size, colour or otherwise, knowing that he''d spent a lot of time and effort looking for the stone/ ring and that he''d put a lot of love into it (and that he''d spent practically all of his then savings on it). 11 years down the line and for our 10th wedding anniversary, hubby gave me a 3+ carat stone, but I still treasure my original e-ring and know that with it come a lot of memories, love and our happy life together thus far, knowing there will be many more happy times ahead.

That''s just me though, sentimental as I am.

Now, if you really want to have a bigger stone, that''s just you and I am not going to sit here and judge you, but please please talk to your FI and get some reaction out of him first. Your e-ring is a symbol of his love for you. Pls make sure he''s ok for you to change it and that he''s not going to resent you in the future.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[Maisie]

Date: 3/18/2007 12:02:12 PM
Author: lienTN
When I got engaged 11 years ago, I got a 1 carat stone and thought it was HUGE!

. More importantly, I was happy that DH (obviously at the time FI) proposed to me and that we were going to spend our lives together. I never questioned the diamond, size, colour or otherwise, knowing that he''d spent a lot of time and effort looking for the stone/ ring and that he''d put a lot of love into it (and that he''d spent practically all of his then savings on it). 11 years down the line and for our 10th wedding anniversary, hubby gave me a 3+ carat stone, but I still treasure my original e-ring and know that with it come a lot of memories, love and our happy life together thus far, knowing there will be many more happy times ahead.

That''s just me though, sentimental as I am.

Now, if you really want to have a bigger stone, that''s just you and I am not going to sit here and judge you, but please please talk to your FI and get some reaction out of him first. Your e-ring is a symbol of his love for you. Pls make sure he''s ok for you to change it and that he''s not going to resent you in the future.

Just my 2 cents.

This is such a good point. When Gary and I got engaged he bought me a .25ct diamond ring. I was over the moon as we were engaged!!! Now we are in the process of buying a bigger diamond - but that baby stone will always have a special place in my heart.

 

[tweeanna]

I agree with everyone here....1.5 is NOT small. I have a 1.50 and it looks just right, and I have a size 5 finger. This is my personal taste and my opinion only...I''d feel more comfortable wearing a 1.50 ct everyday than a 2ct everyday...I would feel a little self conscious wearing the 2ct because I''d feel it''s too big for me for everyday wear.

 

[risingsun]

If you were in the diamond-choosing stage, this would be easier; however, he's already proposed with this ring. It's a fabulous size, IMHO, and I hope you will love wearing it

 

[Beacon]

What is the millimeter size of your stone? Sounds like the real issue is the face up millimeter size rather than the carat weight.

I would not go to SI2 anyhow.

I think you have a nice sounding ring there. For that price, you would not get a big bump in size, even if you went to the effort to return it. Plus, you might annoy your FI. I wouldn''t do anything, at least not right away.

Longer run, you can look to an upgrade or perhaps make a 3 stone ring out of yours to give a blingier look. The better quality a stone you have, the better a trade in you can do in the future, if you want.

For short term satisfaction, ask for a diamond wedding band, like an eternity band or something. That will give you more "look" and maybe keep the peace at home.

 

[DiamondSeeker7]

I personally think that 1.50 carats is the perfect size for an engagment ring. I used to think that I wanted 2 carats or bigger, but once we started looking I realized that I liked 1.50 the best. It definitally looks big, has great sparkle and in my opinion is a little more precious than a larger diamond. Of coure you know your finace better than anyone. My bf wouldn''t care, but that is because I am super picky and a pain in the a** and he knows that! But, smight have picked out a ring with awesome clarity, because he thinks it''s like you- almost flawless (or however he thinks). Why don''t you ask him why this was the diamond he picked. He might come back and say that he did a lot of research and picked this one on his own, or that it was recommended to him by BN. By his answer to that question it should let you know what to do. Good luck and don''t feel quilty for thinking the way you do. I think if it really bothers you, it will really bother you for years.

 

[february2003bride]

Date: 3/18/2007 12:02:12 PM
Author: lienTN
When I got engaged 11 years ago, I got a 1 carat stone and thought it was HUGE!

. More importantly, I was happy that DH (obviously at the time FI) proposed to me and that we were going to spend our lives together. I never questioned the diamond, size, colour or otherwise, knowing that he''d spent a lot of time and effort looking for the stone/ ring and that he''d put a lot of love into it (and that he''d spent practically all of his then savings on it). 11 years down the line and for our 10th wedding anniversary, hubby gave me a 3+ carat stone, but I still treasure my original e-ring and know that with it come a lot of memories, love and our happy life together thus far, knowing there will be many more happy times ahead.

That''s just me though, sentimental as I am.

Now, if you really want to have a bigger stone, that''s just you and I am not going to sit here and judge you, but please please talk to your FI and get some reaction out of him first. Your e-ring is a symbol of his love for you. Pls make sure he''s ok for you to change it and that he''s not going to resent you in the future.

Just my 2 cents.

When DH (then FI) gave me my engagement ring in November 2002, I thought my 1.06 princess was HUGE!! Infact, we asked Blue Nile if we could exchange it for a .75 because I felt so weird wearing it, lol. I still thought my diamond was big until I found Pricescope, rofl! 1.5 is a GREAT size and bigger than the norm.

 

[Lynn B]

OK... I am not even going to address your "FI issue"...

but as a self-confessed size girl myself, I will say that NO! I certainly don''t think you are a "horrible person"!

My current stone (an AGS-0, J/SI2, 2.36 RB) is an upgrade from my first diamond, an AGS-0, 1.53 G/VS2. And I am here to tell you that you certainly CAN find KILLER (and totally eye-clean) SI2s, because mine is one. Even under "up-close and personal" scrutiny.

My main criteria is a well-cut stone. After that, I want a white diamond with no visible inclusions to the naked eye. I have never regretted my upgrade; my first stone was definitely lovely, but this one turns heads wherever I go.

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 3/18/2007 7:09:46 AM
Author:googlyeyes
just let it go and be happy with what i have.

this is what I''d do. a 1.5 is a wonderful size. there are always future anniversaries and other special occasions where you can talk about upgrading or changing your stone, but i probably wouldn''t say anything this soon after the proposal. of course, you know your fiance and whether or not he''d be hurt or insulted. My hubby was very open to my upgrade but that was after 5 years of wearing the diamond he proposed with, i think if I would have made a fuss over the proposal diamond he might have asked for it back

 

[lumpkin]

You are not horrible, and I don''t have any tomatoes to throw at you!

So much depends on your circumstances. How would your fiance feel about this, what is 1.5 carats perceived in your circles (yes there are circles that would think 1.5 is small, but not mine!!!), what sentimental value does it have???

Honest soul searching is in order. Personally, 1.5 would be my perfect ideal size RB diamond. I think the size is wonderful, and it''s not so big you would be uncomfortable wearing it in most places, but certainly big enough to appreciate from a distance. I think I''d probably keep it. But maybe you should post some pictures so we can make sure.

 

[Maisie]

Date: 3/19/2007 10:14:02 AM
Author: lumpkin
You are not horrible, and I don''t have any tomatoes to throw at you!

So much depends on your circumstances. How would your fiance feel about this, what is 1.5 carats perceived in your circles (yes there are circles that would think 1.5 is small, but not mine!!!), what sentimental value does it have???

Honest soul searching is in order. Personally, 1.5 would be my perfect ideal size RB diamond. I think the size is wonderful, and it''s not so big you would be uncomfortable wearing it in most places, but certainly big enough to appreciate from a distance. I think I''d probably keep it. But maybe you should post some pictures so we can make sure.

LOL!! Yey good idea!!!!

 

[Mara]

no of course you are not a horrible person..

i love larger stones too. my first stone was a 1.23 but i always thought gosh could we have gotten bigger for the same $$. we bought a G VS and i could have gotten a 1.75 H SI1 at that point for the same cash. that''s a whole 1/2carat larger. for me it was about getting the most for the money which is not what i felt we did at the time (based on limited info, no one''s fault!)...which is how i think in general about any type of purchase...but i think for the guys it''s more of a sentimental, sensitive purchase about what they are offering you (their heart?).

it took a while but my then-fiance was finally able to get past the sentimental aspect of the ring/stone he proposed with and agree that we could have probably gotten a better and larger stone for the cash. i was able to eventually get into a larger stone once and twice over with a vendor with a good upgrade policy.

if you already know you are dissatisfied, honestly i would say to think about addressing it. on one hand yes it''s easier to say ''be happy with what you have'' but my personality is really that it''s hard for me to let stuff like that go. and depending on your relationship, your fiance should know that about you (if you are the same way) and at least respect that you have to speak up for your own peace of mind. he may tell you ''no i want you to keep this because i gave it to you'' in which case you''d have to respect his wishes (in my opinion) but if you have not already spoken your mind then you won''t really know how he will react.

part of it is also in the approach in my opinion. you don''t want him to feel like it''s not ''good enough'' or that you don''t love it. but to me exploring ALL options at the time is the smartest way to go about a ''forever'' purchase. in any case, only you know what is ''right'' for you and him, but i would not shy away from discussing it if you think he won''t be too sensitive about it. and it does not make you a bad person to think ''hmm that VVS1 could be an extra .25c in the stone'' or whatever. if you are a researcher type like me...i always think about stuff like that with almost anything i buy. it''s very hard for me not to.

good luck!! and for what it is worth, 1.5c IS a nice size, but if it is not what you really wanted, then think about remedying it now while you still can rather than later when it''s too late or will cost even more $$.

 

[KristyDarling]

Hi there! 1.5 carats is a wonderful size! You''re not a horrible person for wanting more diamond (you''re in good company here), but you have so many years together ahead of you, there''s always an anniversary or other special occasion to think about an upgrade. He proposed only a month ago, so I''d think long and hard about talking to him about exchanging for a bigger stone and potentially hurting his feelings.

Like others have said, you might consider approaching your FI about setting the stone in a 3-stone design, or a gorgeous halo! A halo will definitely give you the appearance of a larger stone and the ones that are done well are truly spectacular.

 

[MMM]

I agree with Kristy... could you look into a halo or side stones?

 

[colorkitty]

Just my opinion, but I wouldn''t say a thing. You''ve only had your ring such a short time. Even if you don''t hurt your feelings, you''re sending a message that you are hard to please. First you lay down the pressure and then it''s not good enough. I''m not saying that''s your intention, but that''s how it might feel to him. Take this time to bask in the glow of your engagement. You''re getting married! Maybe add a sparkly wedding band for some more wattage. Then in 5, 10 years, bring up the idea of an upgrade if you still want a bigger stone.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

The biggest problem I see in this situation is that Blue Nile does not have an upgrade policy, so if she was ever going to be able to get them to exchange her stone, now would be the time. In 10 years, she''d likely have to buy a whole new diamond (with no trade in) in order to upgrade. It''s possible they won''t let her now, so all this deliberation might be for nothing.

I don''t see anything wrong with her saying to him...you know, I was looking at the BN site, and it appears we could have gotten a 1.75 stone a color grade lower in SI clarity for the same money...and see what he says. If he asks if she wants to trade it in, then great. If he says he wanted her to have a high color and clarity diamond because high quality is important to him, then I''d let it go. 1.5 is a larger diamond than probably 95% of all people start out with as an e-ring.

 

[AdaBeta27]

I think you should keep it and be happy. The reason I say that, is there is a huge "brag factor" for a guy to be able to say it's a VVS1. It states "I certainly didn't cheap out. I bought her the best." He is no doubt very proud of the stone he chose for you, and $13k is not chicken feed, and roughly 7.5 mm (OK, maybe 7.3 or 7.4) WILL be noticed. If I were you, I'd wear it with pride. Your man bought you top quality. Don't ruin the experience for him.

Plus, if you don't trade it up, your future in-laws won't have that issue to rehash at every family gathering for the next 50 years, LOL.

Personally, I try to never go below VVS or VS when buying a diamond, and I buy/sell mine with stunning regularity since I am single and don't have to account to anyone but myself. I personally despise the blobs of white snot inclusions that I usually see in the SI1 & SI2 class, even if the stone is somebody's definition of "eyeclean." Your man may just feel the same way about that. I've personally talked to several men whe are adamant that they would Never buy the FI any diamond that has inclusions that are obvious at 10X because it's just not "quality."

I'm perversely tolerant of small black specks, if they conceal themselves very well. I actually purchased & enjoy an I1 diamond that eye clean at 6" and the inclusions are discrete black specs. I'll take this I1 over any SI-whatever, any day. It's VVS1 everywhere but under one prong, hehe.

The other thing that occurred to me is, VVS1 or VVS2 usually gets a good cut. I'm not saying there aren't great SI stones out there, but the SI grade is more likely to get a lower "ideal" or maybe apremiun cut than VVS usually will. That's not an expert's opinion. That's just what I've observed in local B&M retail jewelry stores and also used/estate/pawned diamonds.

 

[chiefneil]

Date: 3/18/2007 7:09:46 AM
Author:googlyeyes
Please don''t throw tomatoes at me, but I definitely like larfer diamonds. My fiance proposed about a month ago with a lovely 1.5 carat RBC. The GIA report is older so it doesn''t have all the necessary specs but here is what I do know:

carat: 1.5
depth: 61.5%
table: 57%
polish: VG
symmetry: VG
clarity: VVSI
color: I
fluor: faint

i also know he paid about 13k for the stone alone on blue nile. problem is, i just keep wondering if i could have gotten a stone with a larger carat weight for sacrificing some of the clarity, since carat is more important to me - maybe something with an SI2 spec? I just feel like a big chunk of that 13k went towards the VVSI rating when that was probably lower on my ring desire totem pole. The 30 day return policy has passed and I guess I am out of options. i don''t know if i should say something or just let it go and be happy with what i have. just wanted to ramble and get some of your opinions. thanks for listening. i wish i would have discovered this board a few months ago when i was laying on the engagement pressure!!

What might help is to consider how a 1.5c looks compared to a 2.0c. The difference isn''t huge. I pulled up a few ideal cut stones on GOG and here are the widths. Pull out a metric ruler and ask yourself if you can see a difference of 0.5mm. That''s pretty tiny. Going to a 1.75 probably wouldn''t be noticeable - you''d have to go to 2.0c to get even that 0.5mm difference.

1.54c $10.6k Ideal
Width: 7.42mm

1.72c $13.5k Ideal
Width: 7.65mm

1.97c 21.7k Ideal
Width: 7.98mm

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 3/19/2007 6:37:35 PM
Author: AdaBeta27
I think you should keep it and be happy. The reason I say that, is there is a huge ''brag factor'' for a guy to be able to say it''s a VVS1. It states ''I certainly didn''t cheap out. I bought her the best.'' He is no doubt very proud of the stone he chose for you, and $13k is not chicken feed, and roughly 7.5 mm (OK, maybe 7.3 or 7.4) WILL be noticed. If I were you, I''d wear it with pride. Your man bought you top quality. Don''t ruin the experience for him.

Plus, if you don''t trade it up, your future in-laws won''t have that issue to rehash at every family gathering for the next 50 years, LOL.

Personally, I try to never go below VVS or VS when buying a diamond, and I buy/sell mine with stunning regularity since I am single and don''t have to account to anyone but myself. I personally despise the blobs of white snot inclusions that I usually see in the SI1 & SI2 class, even if the stone is somebody''s definition of ''eyeclean.'' Your man may just feel the same way about that. I''ve personally talked to several men whe are adamant that they would Never buy the FI any diamond that has inclusions that are obvious at 10X because it''s just not ''quality.''

I''m perversely tolerant of small black specs, if they conceal themselves very well. I actually purchased & enjoy an I1 diamond that eye clean at 6'' and the inclusions are discrete black specs. I''ll take this I1 over any SI-whatever, any day. It''s VVS1 everywhere but under one prong, hehe.

Seems kind of harsh...what if it was what one could afford, and going up to VS2 would have been too expensive? One person may be able to see an inclusion while another might not. I think it could make the diamond have character and help one to identify it as her own.

 

[justjulia]

Okay, my turn. I had a 2 ct, and a 2.5 ct, and a 3 ct, and all below....in all shapes. I came around in circles until I landed on 1.5. This 1.5 rectangle I have now is perfect for my size 6 finger. The others were too big for my comfort, and I happen to work with some of the most affluent in town. It just looked right on me. I may put a halo around it in the future, but I have learned that each diamond has its own personality and this one just won me over--I''m even a little sentimental about it. I know one thing, you have to try it on and walk around in it to really know. But be prepared, it may not be what you expect.