There is a lot of knowledge and experience here. I'd be grateful to hear your experiences regarding elderly parents and handling their money for them.
Background:
My parents are 84 years old. Very good health. They live in a luxurious CCRC (continuing care retirement community) close by.
They have been cruel and abusive to me all my life (I'm an only child) and I have paid hard through the years for not cutting off all contact with them when any sane person would have. I've had a lot of therapy to help me with this and all of the therapists have advised me to cut contact for my own good and that of my marriage.
My parents and me and money, never good. They used it for control and so when I turned 18 I got a full scholarship to college and I never had a dime from them since. They are generous with others, just not me. They have told me all my life I will inherit nothing, which is okay, I believe they should enjoy their money the way they see fit. I've never asked them for a penny. My husband and I have never had assistance from them in any way, shape or form. They have felt free to demand money and other 'services' from us for decades. The last request was for $275k and it was suggested to me that I could easily get this for them if I would divorce my DH and obtain a settlement (they have excess of $1M in savings PLUS other pensions/assets?annuities). They wanted money, they just didn't want to use theirs.
Those are the kind of peeps my parents are.
So a year ago, my mom asked me to be ready to write checks, balance their checkbook, do taxes, basic financial scutwork, when she feels she is no longer interested in doing it or too incapacitated to do it (her parents lived into their mid-90s).
I don't want to do this. I told her I would require a financial power of attorney in order to be able to truly resolve the issues that the crazy ways of handling reality bring up. I also wanted the financial POA so if they pull one of their usual stunts my husband and I could not be sued. We finally have some assets and are looking at retirement in about 10 years and I don't want my parents destroying what we've worked very, very hard to put together.
So for the last year, my mom led me down the garden path re the financial POA: They completely understood why I would want that, blah blah, they just don't have the TIME to see an eldercare attorney. This past weekend, my mom said a final NO to a POA and said that my name would be put on the checking accounts and that would just do fine for her.
I researched money and the elderly. There are certified, insured services that handle administrative money functions for elderly or incapacitated or busy people. They handle bills, taxes, etc.
Anyone here gone this route or know of these?
Background:
My parents are 84 years old. Very good health. They live in a luxurious CCRC (continuing care retirement community) close by.
They have been cruel and abusive to me all my life (I'm an only child) and I have paid hard through the years for not cutting off all contact with them when any sane person would have. I've had a lot of therapy to help me with this and all of the therapists have advised me to cut contact for my own good and that of my marriage.
My parents and me and money, never good. They used it for control and so when I turned 18 I got a full scholarship to college and I never had a dime from them since. They are generous with others, just not me. They have told me all my life I will inherit nothing, which is okay, I believe they should enjoy their money the way they see fit. I've never asked them for a penny. My husband and I have never had assistance from them in any way, shape or form. They have felt free to demand money and other 'services' from us for decades. The last request was for $275k and it was suggested to me that I could easily get this for them if I would divorce my DH and obtain a settlement (they have excess of $1M in savings PLUS other pensions/assets?annuities). They wanted money, they just didn't want to use theirs.
Those are the kind of peeps my parents are.
So a year ago, my mom asked me to be ready to write checks, balance their checkbook, do taxes, basic financial scutwork, when she feels she is no longer interested in doing it or too incapacitated to do it (her parents lived into their mid-90s).
I don't want to do this. I told her I would require a financial power of attorney in order to be able to truly resolve the issues that the crazy ways of handling reality bring up. I also wanted the financial POA so if they pull one of their usual stunts my husband and I could not be sued. We finally have some assets and are looking at retirement in about 10 years and I don't want my parents destroying what we've worked very, very hard to put together.
So for the last year, my mom led me down the garden path re the financial POA: They completely understood why I would want that, blah blah, they just don't have the TIME to see an eldercare attorney. This past weekend, my mom said a final NO to a POA and said that my name would be put on the checking accounts and that would just do fine for her.
I researched money and the elderly. There are certified, insured services that handle administrative money functions for elderly or incapacitated or busy people. They handle bills, taxes, etc.
Anyone here gone this route or know of these?