AGH! I HATE MY COUSIN!!! (vent)

[swingirl]

I''m so sorry for your holiday drama. You sound like you are doing the best you can with everyone. Try not to let one immature brat spoil everything. She''s got to go home every day and live with her miserable self!

Continue on with your shopping plans and wedding talk! I''ll drive her nutz! especially if you remain calm and happy...which she is not.

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 11/24/2006 9:59:05 AM
Author: diamondseeker2006
The one thing that will elevate you far above her is if you can be gracious and kind when she does things like that. Your first reply was just perfect. It shows everyone what kind of person you are and what kind of person she is. I think she really has some serious issues, and maybe when you can get past the anger, you can pity her instead. I do think there were problems with this whole arrangement, though, because you did ask some cousins to be bridesmaids and not her. And I 1000% agree with that decision! However, to go to the aunt''s house when you know she''ll be present and expect to go dress shopping with your other BM''s is sort of a slap in the face to her. I think it would have been better to go to the anut''s for the dinner and stay somewhere else with your mom and BM''s so you could have done your wedding shopping without her being around it. Personally, I''d leave and go to a hotel or something. And I do imagine her relationship is in big trouble right now, too. Next year, think of a better location for your family gathering...like YOUR mom''s! I would aviod ever being around this cousin and I wouldn''t want her at the wedding. I would not invite her because of the things she said..unless she apologizes.

100% what Diamondseeker said.

Robbie: You have a FI who loves you and who you love and will be marrying in a mere 10 months. Just focus on that. Not on you cousin''s behavior, or how anyone else sees you, or her.

While your cousin''s behavior is extreme, try to think about how you would feel if you were in her shoes -- 31, unmarried and self-conscious/concerned about it, and spending the weekend with people who are focusing on a much younger cousin''s impending wedding... I''m not saying that she''s right in behaving as she has, but in her mind this is a very difficult situation, and apparently she can''t rise up to putting on her game face. I understand that it''s also a difficult situation for you. The question is, can you rise above the situation? Can you put on your game face, take care of your needs ands still show compassiom to your cousin?

 

[robbie3982]

Well, y left this morning so we finally got to go dress shopping and it was fun.

I have to say that while some people might feel bad for her because she''s jealous that I''m getting married and she''s not and i''m 8 years younger than her, I just can''t feel sorry for her. This isn''t the first time she''s done something like this. She had a similiar blow up at my aunt a few years ago at a family bbq in front of everyone. Also unprovoked. The girl seriously just can''t handle when the world doesn''t revolve around her and she''s insanely deluded. A dangerous combination.

My aunt was telling her friend about what happened and she had a similiar story to tell about Y. When Y first moved here she didn''t know anyone, so my aunt and her friend decided to set her up with a girl my aunt''s friend knew, L, on friend "date." They ended up really hitting it off and becoming great friends. When L got serious with her bf Y kept telling her how awful he was and how it would never work out with him. When they got engaged she continued and started telling my aunt about how everyone hated this guy and how he was so awful. For some reason L still asked Y to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. After they''d been married for a while L became pregnant and Y continued to say horrible things to her, then about how she didn''t get why she wanted to have a baby because she was going to be an awful mother and her husband was awful. L''s husband refused to have Y in his house anymore if she was going to continue saying these things to his wife and her friends so Y and L stopped being friends. Turns out that no one else hated the bf/husband and Y was making it all up.

The girl is psycho.

 

[Julian]

I am so glad you had fun shopping for bm dresses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Glad that Y left so that she didn't spoil anything else! She kind of sounds like she'll end up with 19 cats, wear a stained bathrobe all day & mutter to herself about how everyone else stinks. I only hope she can work things out with her bf...maybe people can change. I hope so!

Do you remember that crazy old lady in Sex & the City? Carrie meets her when she ducks inside a restaurant during a rainstorm... She talks about how she pushed everyone away in her youth. This, while she smushes Lithium pills into her ice cream & cackles. Flashback!

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Julian- GREAT S&TC reference! I totally remember that episode

Robbie, your cousin is a prize witch and is acting like a spoilt child. I'm glad to hear that you held your head high and didn't' sink to her level. Just because someone is older than you doesn't mean they deserve your respect. They have to EARN it!


Just focus on your wedding and kick her to the curb.

 

[robbie3982]

Lol, I can definitely see her ending up a cat lady.

My mom called Y''s mom today to let her know what happened. Y beeped in at the end to tell her version. My aunt called my mom back and told her that Y was crying to her that, "everyone used to pay attention to me! everyone used to love me! but now they all pay attention to robin and love robin!" Seriously, this girl can''t stand it when she''s not the center of attention. She has been so spoiled by everyone and this is what it''s done.

My mom said to me that she hopes her bf doesn''t leave her because she thinks she might actually try to hurt him. I was like, uh, isn''t that a reason as to why he should leave??? And if she''d hurt him, why isn''t my mom concerned about what she''ll try to do to me when people keep liking me and paying attention to me???

I seriously think Y needs to be committed if she won''t seek help (which she''s refused to do in the past), but everyone is too scared to do it because of how mad she''ll be. FI and I are definitely following the parenting examples of his family as opposed to mine when we have kids...

 

[poptart]

Oh wow robbie, she''s intense! I wish there were some way to get her help because it sounds like she may just snap one day and then everyone will be in for it. I am surprised that her boyfriend hasn''t left yet. If my significant other acted that way and I was actually AFRAID of that person, I would be out the door in a second. A big part of a relationship is feeling safe! What was Y''s mom''s reaction to her daughter''s attitude and fiasco?

*M*

 

[robbie3982]

Her response was "There''s nothing I can do." And there isn''t really. She won''t listen to anyone. This isn''t the first time she''s done something like this, so I doubt that her mom was surprised it happened, though she was probably surprised that she did it at Thanksgiving dinner. I''m sure she was really upset. My mom and her sisters are really close and they really want all of their kids to be close as well. We''re all close to eachother. Except Yaelle. Don''t get me wrong, no one''s mean to her, but if it came down to choosing who to hang out with, she''d be last on everyone''s list. Her brother is the nicest guy ever. I really don''t understand how they can be from the same family.

As far as her bf goes, I don''t know if he really knew how she is until that moment. She''s always been pretty decent around him. A bit cold, but never outright mean. I''m sure she''s been badmouthing me to him since they got together since apparently she''s been mad at me since before then, so he probably thought I was really awful (though he''s always been very nice to me). I''m guessing he''s starting to realize how she is (I hope?). He seems like the kind of person who''s always trying to find the good in someone. I doubt that he would even think that she might hurt him, but who knows how they are when they''re alone.

If they do break up, the s&*^ is really going to hit the fan. She just moved in with him a few months ago (they live in NYC) and since then she''s been let go from her job, so she really would have no where to go but to our aunt and uncle''s house and my uncle has already made it clear (to his family at least) that she''s not welcome in his house and he told my aunt that if she allows her there without her parents to supervise he''s taking the twins and they''ll all go to his parents'' house on Long Island. I''m sure she''d blame me for the whole thing too and I''d probably have to get a restraining order or something. I swear, the majority of my family is normal...

I had such a hard time talking FI into going to Thanksgiving with my family instead of his. If she''s going to be there every year, I highly doubt I''ll be able to convince him again

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