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partgypsy

partgypsy

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 7, 2004
Messages
6,633
Hello! As people may know, I am going through a divorce. Still not settled legally. There are many many reasons why not to spend any money on diamonds this year. I have a car payment, my child will be in an expensive private school with payments up to February, and I will accrue lawyer bills (unknown amount). As part of the whole break up, I ended up without a diamond ring (long story). In retrospect I regret getting rid of the ring(s), but at the time it seemed like the right decision. Now I miss not having a diamond to look at.
My long term goal is to make myself a 3 or 5 stone ring. It would make me happy to pick out an ideal cut stone from one of the two vendors I'm considering.
What would you do in my situation?
a) buy a smaller size stone (40 points) place in inexpensive setting (I also have a setting that may work) and then upgrade to a .5-.74 center stone, 5 stone ring when have more funds
b) buy the center stone I would like to get (looking at a 66 pointer), set into existing setting I have, and enjoy until I have funds for full 5 stone ring
c) wait until have proper funds to do all at one time

I know the right answer is c) but jonsing for a diamond of my own. But getting one now will put me 1500-2500 in hole.
 
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Sorry to hear about your divorce. So I think the totally responsible decision would be to wait but I vote either a or b. You're already responsible. You're taking care of your family. It's ok to take care of yourself too.
You had to give your ring back (a shame because you were married, not just engaged). You're going to feel a lot happier having something on your finger. I'd do either of the first two options (maybe whichever ends up cheapest). ;)

ETA: you could always consider a bright colored gemstone ring as an alternative. Both fun and different.
 
I feel the same way as Elle.

I vote b. Go for the stone you really want, it will give you pleasure to look at it, even if not in the ideal setting, etc.

So give yourself a little something now.

You deserve it.

And I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. :blackeye:
 
I have a lot of lovely gemstone jewelry, as well as gemstones I can set. Knowing how I feel, getting a colored stone ring is not going to scratch this particular itch, especially after seeing super ideal cut diamonds. There's also a really lovely graduated 5-stone ring at Costco, that is very cost effective. My reticience, is that the center stone is not as large as I prefer, and they are not ideal cuts. Knowing myself I think I'd rather save up for an ideal cut center stone even if other stones are not ideal cuts.
 
Are you planning on using the stone from A or B in the 3-5 stone ring?
 
Yes. For a) I may upgrade 1 time to get the center stone size I would like (somewhere in the 1/2 carat to 3/4 carat range).
 
Here's another question. Would people look at me askance, to wear a diamond solitaire on my right hand? That's what I want to do.
 
Ok, good. That is what I would personally do.

About the right hand, I think only men interested in you may ask. I saw a long convo about this online somewhere and nearly all the women said they wouldn't think twice but it was pretty evenly split among the men.
 
I would only do A because I am a scaredy cat about spending. If there is any possibility of a negative unforeseen situation that can harm me financially, I don't take a risk. I am a little too cautious, so take that into consideration!
 
Mrs2Ouch said:
I would only do A because I am a scaredy cat about spending. If there is any possibility of a negative unforeseen situation that can harm me financially, I don't take a risk. I am a little too cautious, so take that into consideration!
Click to expand...
Yes I agree Mrs ouch! that's what is making this so tough! I really want to do b) because I figure even if I don't have the monies for a 5 stone for a long while, can still enjoy it. But what if something unforeseen happens? To tell the truth I have sold jewelry before because of worrying about money, but in retrospect didn't HAVE to. It's a security thing. But doesn't mean that something in future may come up where that extra 1 to 2K, makes a difference.
 
I'm going to say C.

Wouldn't it be better to put any spare money you have, even $5 or $10 at a time in to a savings fund, until you have enough money to buy what you really want, rather than just spending money on a "it'll do for now " ?

When you've come out the other side of your divorce and your life is back on track, you can treat yourself to something special that you'll have for a long time without going through the upgrade stages?

Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but living with an accountant for nearly 40 years has rubbed off on me :D
 
My second choice would be C, but I am weak!

Another thing to consider, if you went with A, or especially B, would you worry yourself sick wondering if you made a mistake and not enjoy it at all?
 
At the least, I'm going to wait until closer to my birthday, a couple months from now, to make a decision. Trying not to be impulsive! I do feel being without a ring, now for a year, was good for me in the sense of understanding what I really want (getting a super ideal cut stone at some point) versus being distracted by fleeting desires.
 
partgypsy said:
Here's another question. Would people look at me askance, to wear a diamond solitaire on my right hand? That's what I want to do.
Click to expand...

I don't think anyone would take notice, other than that you had a beautiful diamond. Wear what you want, what makes you feel happy. Who could look askance at someone who seems genuinely happy?
 
I vote C! I'm in a similar boat and it sucks. We are going on a few big trips this year and I've been looking for a nice warm antique stone for a little while now and will have to hold off longer :( I could probably swing it, but we've already had one $3500 emergency this year :doh::roll: so should really not be spending any additional cash.
 
HI:

I vote C.

I want you to have everything you've always wanted...and you will. Ideally it will be when you have no strings attached (aka guilt, etc) to spend to buy your ring.

Would a CZ work in the interim?

cheers--Sharon
 
I'm really sorry about your situation. It wouldn't be wise to put yourself in the hole, or even stretch yourself thin right now. It certainly doesn't help coming to this forum and seeing all the blingies. Unfortunately scratching that itch is best left for a little time down the road. I like the ideas for a gem stone or CZ for now. Just give yourself a little time :wavey:
 
Can I suggest a D?

You want a 3 or 5 stone with a .66 centre. Are you going with round for the other 2-4 and what size would they be? Why not get one of the other 2-4 and wear that in an inexpensive setting now, and get the rest later. I know its advisable to buy all the sides at the same time to make sure they match, but if it is a round, it shouldn't be too difficult to find something later. Might work out cheaper than the temporary stone.

If you were thinking traps or half moons on the side, disregard this post.:lol:
 
I know you're already leaning in this direction, but I'm going to cast another vote for option C anyway.

I totally understand wanting to buy something to make up for the bling you're giving up as part of this divorce, and to make yourself feel better, but...

I suspect the "relief" will be temporary, and not worth the stress that could result when you need that money to help with an unexpected, unavoidable expense... of for that matter, the stress of not having a suitable financial cushion.

Also, knowing that you didn't take any shortcuts will make your diamond ring, when you finally get it, that much sweeter. Rather than serving as a reminder of your divorce, it will be a symbol of your strength and progress.

One other thought... have you considered selling some of your colored gemstones or gemstone jewelry to help "salt" the diamond ring savings account?
 
That's exactly what came to my mind as well. Just a small but ideal cut diamond that could be reused for position 2- 4 in the five stone.
 
partgypsy said:
I have a lot of lovely gemstone jewelry, as well as gemstones I can set. Knowing how I feel, getting a colored stone ring is not going to scratch this particular itch
Click to expand...

Sell.
 
I just want to say that I am also going through a divorce and I want to say I'm sorry and hang in there! I understand wanting some bling as a pick-me-up. I was in a similar state of mind, and I ending up buying a ring that was probably way out of budget and to make up for it I'm selling some of my older pieces. I don't regret it for a second! Think about whether you could unload a few things and maybe your decision will seem much easier. :wavey:
 
I don't think I could recoup that much money from the jewelry/gemstones I currently have, to make much of a dent. But it's something I can certainly consider. Gemstones in particular have such lousy resale value. Thank you all for your feedback, you are a bunch of wise women!
 
Another vote for (c), especially since the divorce proceedings are not yet wrapped up, so your total legal costs remain unknown.

And although I sure hope your experience is very different, my ex ended up being a complete deadbeat dad... which is not something I would have predicted.
 
C is the most practical. B sounds like the most probable. Lets face it buying jewelry in particular is emotional. If you can wait, then C. B might be ok as long as you can upgrade later but B also means money out of your pocket that you might not be able to afford right now. My gut says go with C until you know exactly what is going on with the divorce proceedings, then evaluate at that time.
 
partgypsy said:
I can certainly consider.
Click to expand...

It seems to me that what Pricescope has, Pricescope wants.

There are calls for sapphires everywhere now - violet, blue, pear, round, etc. - I have lost count of them ...

 
As someone who went through a divorce I still shudder when I think of the legal fees I paid. I would wait until everything is finalized and then figure out a budget I was comfortable with. A fun CZ could be a good option.
 
I would say C since you don't know your finances until everything is settled. If you find you really want something now I would go with A as long as you buy your diamond from a place that will allow you to upgrade it if and when you want to get something else.

Marcy
 
After much thought I have to go with C. As much as I want to say A or B I have to say C is the only choice that will give you peace of mind. Too many unknowns and once you are through the worst of this and have time to breathe and relax and recoup that will be the (better) time to splurge and get what your heart wants. Sending you many good thoughts and wishes. You are on your way to a better and happier future and just need to get through this more challenging time. You will not only be OK you will be more than OK. (((HUGS))).
 
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