advice on "rude" people

Hudson_Hawk · Apr 5, 2010

Date: 4/5/2010 2:44:39 PM
Author: decodelighted
Advice on 'rude people'? Get over 'em! Grow a thicker skin. Become more secure in what you choose to do. And then you won't care so much what ANYONE says to you. You can't cure the world of rudeness but you can change how you react to it.

Artist Jess: I don't know why you think what your friend said to you was rude at all? She was talking about how SHE is -- not saying SHE is better than YOU or how she IS is better than how you ARE? Are you sure you aren't over-personalizing an innocent comment needlessly?

ETA: Some of the language you both are using betrays some guilt on your own parts about the indulgence in jewelry. 'Spoiled'? Really? You are spoiled as in bad or overindulged? Or are you being cute about the usage? Perhaps both? I've noticed that people who are most sensitive to criticism are picking up on the way they feel THEMSELVES -- subconsciously or maybe even a bit consciously. If you have ANY feelings of guilt or that $$ should be spent differently, it will smart 10x worse if anyone ELSE says something along those lines. If you are perfectly secure in what you've done & spent ... other people's opinions aren't as *electric* or powerful. JMHO.

Ditto Deco. I've adopted this rule in real life and on PS. Sometimes, regardless of what people mean to say or how they mean to say it, it just comes out rude.

Darnit, I hate it when I quote and end up writing in the middle of someone else's post!

bgray · Apr 5, 2010

Date: 4/5/2010 2:50:36 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 4/5/2010 2:44:39 PM

Author: decodelighted

Advice on 'rude people'? Get over 'em! Grow a thicker skin. Become more secure in what you choose to do. And then you won't care so much what ANYONE says to you. You can't cure the world of rudeness but you can change how you react to it.

Artist Jess: I don't know why you think what your friend said to you was rude at all? She was talking about how SHE is -- not saying SHE is better than YOU or how she IS is better than how you ARE? Are you sure you aren't over-personalizing an innocent comment needlessly?

Ditto Deco. I've adopted this rule in real life and on PS. Sometimes, regardless of what people mean to say or how they mean to say it, it just comes out rude.

ETA: Some of the language you both are using betrays some guilt on your own parts about the indulgence in jewelry. 'Spoiled'? Really? You are spoiled as in bad or overindulged? Or are you being cute about the usage? Perhaps both? I've noticed that people who are most sensitive to criticism are picking up on the way they feel THEMSELVES -- subconsciously or maybe even a bit consciously. If you have ANY feelings of guilt or that $$ should be spent differently, it will smart 10x worse if anyone ELSE says something along those lines. If you are perfectly secure in what you've done & spent ... other people's opinions aren't as *electric* or powerful. JMHO.

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all well said. and my two cents: be thoughtful about where you where your jewelry and other extravagances/luxuries. it doesnt mean that you dont have the right to do what you want but sometimes less is more. especially in the workplace or environments where the majority of people dont have your good fortune.

ArtistJess · Apr 6, 2010

Date: 4/5/2010 2:44:39 PM
Author: decodelighted

Artist Jess: I don''t know why you think what your friend said to you was rude at all? She was talking about how SHE is -- not saying SHE is better than YOU or how she IS is better than how you ARE? Are you sure you aren''t over-personalizing an innocent comment needlessly?

DD-
I guess I should have posted the rest of her email to me.. She followed the statement with another statement about being ''motherly'' and hoping that I wouldn''t be disappointed with an expensive jewelry purchase. I kind of felt that she was inferring that I had somehow made an irresponsible decision. I mean, DF and I don''t have much.. we have to conserve our money, but I have saved for a very long time to be able to get my eternity ring. I did my research and didn''t purchase in haste. I loved what I got, and think I got a great deal. Fiance was very supportive of the purchase.

I will be the first to admit that maybe I did over-personalize her statement, which is why in my response to her I didn''t imply that I had any kind of problem with what she said. I just got an ick feeling from her statement about being ''practical over pretty''. It might be a personality thing, though.. meaning either my personality or hers. I could be in the wrong, but I sometimes think a lot of her statements have underlying "tones" but I wont go into why. That''s another story for another day.

Like I said, it could have just been me, which is why I decided to just let it go. :/