Advice Needed

[zhuzhu]

Hello!
I need your advise on how to deal with a condescending, self-observed co-worker - without jeopardizing my own professionalism.
I work in an academic environment as a medical science researcher. People who are in my lab are a mixtures of graduate students, postdoc, and junior faculty. This particular co-worker of mine has a MD, and is a spoiled little brat who is very proud of the fact that everything was given to her (free medical education, an UTC condo). She is not anyone''s boss bus she always acts like she is, A REALLY BAD ONE. When asked a question, she talks down to you like "you are on the internet all day and you don''t know who XXX is?" or "why would you want to consider living in XX neighborhood, so many south Asians live there (mind you, she is Asian herself (north Asian)". Not only is she verbally insulting to have as a co-worker, she makes snide comments to everything everyone said in the lab meeting. She is also a brown noser who is very good at kissing butt of those who are in position to promote her, or do her work for her.
I have had enough of her attitude, and unfortunately I have to work in a team with her. What would you do to politely ask her to back off, when her sense of entitlement is so well-established that she does not know she has a problem?
Thanks!

 

[Maisie]

She sounds like a nightmare! I would be grateful that you aren''t her. Imagine how many people she annoys on a daily basis.

Next time she starts with her comments just say.... ''You have nothing to say, and you are saying it too loud!''

 

[zhuzhu]

Date: 12/5/2008 5:00:30 PM
Author: Maisie
just say.... ''You have nothing to say, and you are saying it too loud!''

I wish I could, I wish I could......

 

[starryeyed]

Hi zhuzhu. What a thorn in your side!

The best thing to do with people like this never let her know you are bothered. Keep it light - make jokes and just laugh it off. Her behavior is a reflection on her. Don''t stoop to her level of indecency. You can always try to carefully build a coalition with the people who feel the same way about her that you do. Strength in numbers.

I have a so-called "friend" like this. She''ll say and do anything to win the attention of superiors, or all the men in the room, or whoever has the butt to be kissed. I found she can''t affect me when I am happy and confident. Just be sure to be at the top of your game and well-rested when you are around her.

Good luck!

 

[starryeyed]

Date: 12/5/2008 4:57:08 PM
Author:zhuzhu
....or ''why would you want to consider living in XX neighborhood, so many south Asians live there (mind you, she is Asian herself (north Asian)''.

Like when she says this in front of others, challenge her - say, "Do I detect some self-loathing in your comment?" or "You''re funny, sounds like you a racist against your own race."

 

[crown1]

in my opinion, she is best left to destroy herself. when she makes her rude comments i would simply give her the look and say ok in a way she knows it is not and walk away. when she makes her comment to another in your presence i would turn on my heel and walk away. if she is greeted by this from all her associates she will soon get the message unless she is clueless.