Advice for a med student?

[MakingTheGrade]

I know some of the posters are in the medical field, so I thought I'd implore them for sagely advice and what their thoughts were on having a child during the last year of medical school (I'm currently in my 2nd year)? If there are any good resources for learning about what that experience would be like? I've already been in touch with the counseling and advising offices on my own campus, and am waiting to hear back from them to see if there's anyone I can talk to here about these things. I've skimmed mommd.com as well, but maybe I'm just not looking the right place since I couldn't find a lot of organized information on it.

My husband and I are in a good place financially, physically, and mentally. And we've been talking about when to have kids, and he's very understanding when it comes to the tough hours and lifestyle that goes along with the MD track. He's willing to wait until whatever time is easiest on me, but I have no clue about when that time actually is! I'm still in my early twenties, so there's no rush, but at the same time, I wouldn't want to delay it for the sake of delaying it.

I know it might be early to be researching these things, but I want to be as prepared and informed as possible before TTC, and give myself plenty of time to be comfortable with things (well, as comfortable as possible, there will always be a little part of me that's

)

I'm also just beginning to research the logistical processes of pregnancy, like how to pick an OB, a hospital for delivery, insurance coverage, etc. So if anyone has any recommendations for good books or websites regarding these things, I am all ears! Thanks in advance!

ETA: I also go to a school where we do only 1.5 years of basic science, so I'll be done with core rotations in the middle of my 3rd year.

 

[Sabine]

I''m not in medicine, but my dh is. He just graduated med. school last year and is doing his first year of residency (intern year) and we have a 3 month old.

I asked dh and he said that it probably would have been easier to have a baby earlier on in med. school (although we weren''t ready at that time). 2nd year was easiest. 4th year wasn''t too bad, but this year has been difficult.

Do you have any idea what field you want to go into? I would say that having a baby during 4th year wouldn''t be that bad, but having a less than 1 year old the following year(s) might be tough depending on what you go into. For example, dh wants to go into radiology, so the residency requires a year of internship where he rotates services. The month that he was on surgery, his hours were 4 AM to 8 PM, plus overnight call shifts on the weekends. During that month, I was basically a single mom and he barely saw ds.

It might also depend on what your dh is doing while your in med. school/residency.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Thanks Sabine!

Yeah, Intern year is really tough from what I hear, but Radiology can be a really family friendly specialty once you get settled in (or so people tell me). I worked in interventional radiology over the summer, and all the attendings and fellows loved the lifestyle. So hopefully you'll be seeing more of your hubby soon!

I'm lucky in my husband has a really flexible 9-5 job, and he can work from home on various days. Also, my dad plans on moving into the guest room to help raise the infant until it's 2 or 3 (which is a cultural norm for us). So what I"m currently hoping, is to get pregnant towards the end of my core rotations next winter, and have the baby early in 4th year so I can spend the first 9 months with it and not be pregnant at residency interviews (for logistical reasons mostly). The support system is definitely there for me, for which I'm very grateful!

I wish I could say what I wanted to go into. But I really don't, and knowing me, I probably won't definitely know until the last minute. Certain things are less likely though, I"m 99% sure I won't be going into any kind of surgery or dermatology. The things currently on the "most likely" list are cardiology, radiology, and pediatrics(this one is mom friendly! haha). But who knows, I might change my mind.

I'm just trying to get all the insight I can before making a decision, because I'm sure there are a million different angles I'm overlooking, haha.

 

[drk]

I went to a non-traditional med school whose program was 3 years long. Classroom/self-directed learning the first 1.5 years, clinical rotations the second 1.5 years. I know one girl in the class had a baby sometime in the final year, and hardly took any time off. I remember her pumping during our internal medicine rotation together. I don''t think it was easy, but she was also around 35 at the time, so didn''t have time to wait. A couple of the guys had babies too, but only the one girl.

One of the residents in my program (anesthesia) had her baby at the end of the 4th of 5 years. Took the year off for mat leave, then came back to join my year for the last year of rotations and exams. I think she and the two guys with 2-year-olds had a harder time with the studying than the rest of us did, just because they couldn''t devote all their time to it, and they also felt guilty that the kids saw very little of them for the better part of that year.

I''m just as glad I didn''t have a kid in med school. It meant I had a fairly easy time of things, and could do all the electives I wanted to do to get me a good residency spot. I would have had a harder time going out of town for my rotations had I had a kid in tow too. Then (started residency at 30, married at 31) I struggled for 4 years to get pregnant. I don''t think there would have been an easy time to have a baby during my training, though first year of residency (when I was doing the rotating internship thing and not infrequently had 1 in 3 or 4 call) would not have been ideal. Pretty much any time after that would have been doable.

A lot depends on your support system. It was just my DH and me, and he traveled a fair bit for business. No relatives in town. Yours sounds better. You should also think about how you want to space your kids too. If you''re in your early twenties, you''ve got all the time in the world. It can be great to be a little more footloose and fancy free at that age, so that you can do foreign medical electives, or not feel too guilty about staying late at work. If you had your first in 4th year med school, when would you want to time the next during residency? Having pregnancy brain or severe first trimester morning sickness and fatigue leading up to your licensing exams might not be ideal.

And then again, I don''t think there ever is an ideal time to have a kid. Some of us don''t have a lot of choice over when it will happen, so hitting the mark for ideal timing of pregnancy or childbirth can be a challenge. Your best bet would probably be to try and find out if there are women in years above you who had a baby in med school, and talk to them to see how it went. Or when you hit your clinical rotations, see if there are any residents who are also Moms who can give you advice. I think most women in medicine that I know delay the childbearing till after training is done. But me being pregnant in my first year in practice isn''t all that great either (I had to cut back to part time in my 16th week, and am now benched for a few weeks from 20.5 weeks on). I''d only worked for 2 months before the problems hit, and I don''t have the same benefits I used to have as a resident to help out financially while I''m off.

Sorry - that was really stream-of-consciousness and probably not too helpful. Everyone''s situation is different, and if you''ll be OK with your DH and father doing most of the raising of your child in its early years, there''s probably no one time that''s way better than another.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Thanks Drk! That was very helpful!

I am trying to get connected with older classmates who might have gone through this, but I have a feeling it''s not a common occurrence at my school. I''m at a very highly ranked university, and just by self selection, most of my classmates are very career oriented. Many of my classmates are waiting until end of residency, but to be honest, I''m not entirely sure they have a solid reason other than they are nervous about the repercussions of doing it while in school in terms of grades/performance(which is a totally valid reason, but I personally find school pretty manageable thus far, and I don''t know that fellowship will be easier, it might just be even more stressful since I''ll have many obligations to people other than myself).

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I know 2 people who did it. I actually thought it was a good idea.

Both were pregnant in their 4th year of medical school and took the year off between graduation and residency. They ended up going back a year later and are doing well. And they got to enjoy their babies first year of life.

Another option would be to plan your pregnancy so that you deliver after your first 6 months of your 4th year of med school. That way you can have all your sub-I''s done and a significant amount of your interviews. The second half of 4th year is pretty easy, so you would have time to be with baby.

The only time I do not recommend delivering is during internship. There is just two much going on. Depending on your speciality, having a baby during the senior years is much more doable.

Hope this helps.

 

[icekid]

MTG- Had we been ready then, I think 4th year would have been a great time for a baby. But I had a fabulously cush intern year so that would have been easier for me

Now I'm looking at doing this during residency and the options are just not appealing at all. You are very lucky that you'll have great family support! Ours lives too far away to be of any assistance. That will make a huge difference, I think. In my situation, I've felt the need to prepare my husband for the fact that he will be the primary caretaker most likely.

And can I say... the amount of absolute devotion to breast feeding I have seen in residents is amazing. There is a resident I know who actually used to pump in the car. Sounds a little dangerous to me hehe. But if breast feeding is important to you, 4th year would also make that much easier!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

The year before I started my intern year, three of the senior residents got pregnant at the same time. The program was great about blocking appointments so they could pump. They would go to the call room/office.

However, at another hospital, they were terrible about it during the inpatient months. I had to give one girl Reglan in an attempt to get her going again.

 

[Smores84]

Hi! A couple of my classmates just had the most beautiful babies. They timed it for beginning of 4th year, which gives them free time with their darling little ones before going on interviews in Dec/Jan. Many people strongly urged me to consider 4th year and just schedule a bunch of online electives. Is taking a year off a desirable option for you?

It is wonderful you have a such a solid support system!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Thanks everyone for the great advice!

The tentatively plan as of now is to start trying next winter (the end of my core rotations), so that the delivery will be around the beginning of 4th year. I still want to touch base with my advisors, but I think it's a manageable plan. If I end up taking a year off after all, that's ok with me too.

And I am lucky that my dad is so willing to come play nanny for us, he's retired, and is looking forward to a grandchild so much!

Thanks again for the input! It really puts me at ease to know there are people who have kids during med school, and that I won't get totally crushed.

 

[iluvcarats]

I'm late to the party, but I would ditto those who said Med school is a better time to have a baby than residency. My DH was a resident in a surgical sub specialty when we had our children, and it was tough. With DD we were wakened every 20 minutes by her, or by his pager. Then, six weeks after my son was born we moved across country for his fellowship. I wouldn't recommend that either

Med school was MUCH easier than residency. Sounds like a good plan. And how great that your Dad will be your nanny!

And this is not going to be popular, but I have to say that I was very resentful when women in his program had babies and he had to cover for them, and take extra call. He had a family at home too.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Date: 10/31/2009 6:49:55 PM
Author: iluvcarats

And this is not going to be popular, but I have to say that I was very resentful when women in his program had babies and he had to cover for them, and take extra call. He had a family at home too.

To be honest, this is a big consideration for me. I don't know what field I want to go into, but I would feel uncomfortable if my maternal leave forced my peers into doing more than their fair share. I know that it's necessary sometimes and it's necessary if you're going to make it possible for women to go into medicine, and that in a lot of places, coworkers are happy to pitch in and are excited for a pregnancy, but if I can avoid putting unwanted work on my colleagues, I would like to. I figure at least in school, if something goes wrong with the pregnancy or birth and I need extra time off, I won't be affecting anyone but me.

One of my friends suggested waiting until after Intern year since in some specialties, residency after that first year is pretty cushy. Is that generally true? I'd be interested to hear what the difficulties have been in trying to plan a pregnancy during residency.

My biggest concern about having it start of 4th year right now is not knowing where I would match for Residency, and possibly having to move to another city which means uprooting my husband, and I wouldn't know what kind of job he'd be able to find. And I'm not sure he's comfortable having a baby while being unemployed.

 

[iluvcarats]

Date: 10/31/2009 9:46:29 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade

Date: 10/31/2009 6:49:55 PM

Author: iluvcarats


And this is not going to be popular, but I have to say that I was very resentful when women in his program had babies and he had to cover for them, and take extra call. He had a family at home too.

To be honest, this is a big consideration for me. I don't know what field I want to go into, but I would feel uncomfortable if my maternal leave forced my peers into doing more than their fair share. I know that it's necessary sometimes and it's necessary if you're going to make it possible for women to go into medicine, and that in a lot of places, coworkers are happy to pitch in and are excited for a pregnancy, but if I can avoid putting unwanted work on my colleagues, I would like to. I figure at least in school, if something goes wrong with the pregnancy or birth and I need extra time off, I won't be affecting anyone but me.


One of my friends suggested waiting until after Intern year since in some specialties, residency after that first year is pretty cushy. Is that generally true? I'd be interested to hear what the difficulties have been in trying to plan a pregnancy during residency.


My biggest concern about having it start of 4th year right now is not knowing where I would match for Residency, and possibly having to move to another city which means uprooting my husband, and I wouldn't know what kind of job he'd be able to find. And I'm not sure he's comfortable having a baby while being unemployed.

He was fine with it. I was the one having a hard time coming in second place all the time. There was a time when one of his colleagues was on bed rest for 4 months, and he didn't leave the hospital for 5 days at a time. Everything is great now, but the 8 years of training after med school took their toll. Most people don't understand that the families of residents make sacrifices too, b/c no matter what, the hospital has to be the first priority. Most people can't say that lives depend on what they do, but for docs it is life and death situations. And a heart attack trumps colic everytime

A woman can do anything that a man can, but a man cannot do all that a woman can, because he can't have a baby. And if you want one, you should have one. And if you want to be a Dr. you should be one. But there still are only 24 hours in every day, so if you want to tuck your kid in at night, I'd pick a specialty that is more family friendly like Path or Derm or Radiology. It just isn't realistic to say I want to be a CT surgeon and a mommy who spends time with her kids. Like I said, there aren't enough hours in a day.

Babies really aren't that expensive in the beginning. Lots of diapers, onesies, and possibly formula. I would start looking for the other stuff early. We gave the crib and changing table, stroller and bouncy seat and exersaucer to my DH's colleague. Once you're done with the stuff, you can't wait to get rid of it. I bet if you asked around, you would find it pretty quickly. Best of luck to you. I hope you come here with some good news soon.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Thanks iluvcarats!

I''m definitely keeping lifestyle in mind when making a specialty decision. I''m 99% sure that surgical specialties aren''t for me, and I''ll probably end up in a less demanding career path so that I can achieve the life balance I want.

I''m going to try to flag down my advisor to see if she can help me work out the details about being pregnant/having a baby during school, and if people have done this in the past and what kind of resources there are. Hehe, Emory Med school has a lactation room.

I have to say though, I am so excited at the thought that we might be TTC by this time next year!!

 

[iluvcarats]

Date: 11/1/2009 1:11:09 AM
Author: MakingTheGrade
Thanks iluvcarats!


I''m definitely keeping lifestyle in mind when making a specialty decision. I''m 99% sure that surgical specialties aren''t for me, and I''ll probably end up in a less demanding career path so that I can achieve the life balance I want.


I''m going to try to flag down my advisor to see if she can help me work out the details about being pregnant/having a baby during school, and if people have done this in the past and what kind of resources there are. Hehe, Emory Med school has a lactation room.


I have to say though, I am so excited at the thought that we might be TTC by this time next year!!

I am so excited for you too MTG! I will look forward to hearing your good news. Even though I am all done, part of me wishes I had the energy and patience to do it again. To me, there isn''t anything as precious as a soft tiny little baby

I know a lot of women who are both docs and moms, and they manage just fine, although life is busy. You sound like you will be able to handle whatever gets thrown your way. Some residency programs are very family friendly, so do some research when it is time to match. Best of luck to you.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

In our program everyone had X calls per year. So if someone had a baby, they would be call free during the 6 weeks of maternity leave, but than have to make it up when they came back. So although it seemed like everyone was "covering" those 6 weeks, it all worked out.

Pediatrics is not exactly an "easy" residency (although it is not as bad a surgery), and several people had kids and made it work just fine. When you get out of residency, you have more control over your lifestyle. For example, I work in a clinic from 7-5 Monday-Friday with beeper call only. I share the beeper with 3 other people, so I don''t always have it. Several of my friends do clinic + inpatient. So they often get called in the middle of the night to come to the hospital. That can be rough on a family. I am sure most of the other primary care specialities are similar.

More and more people are doing only hospital or only clinic to make things easier on their home lives. The culture of medicine is changing in many fields in regards to work/life balance.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Date: 11/1/2009 1:43:31 PM
Author: LtlFirecracker
More and more people are doing only hospital or only clinic to make things easier on their home lives. The culture of medicine is changing in many fields in regards to work/life balance.

Indeed. It''s interesting to see how things have changed so much. I bet if you had talk to a med student 50 years ago and told them Derm was one of the most competitive specialties, he would have thought you were crazy, lol.

I do think out generation is more life-balance conscious, and there are probably some people and patients out there who probably miss the old guard docs who lived in the hospitals, and are resentful when we take personal vacations and shut off the beepers for some down time. I think our generation is accused of being "less dedicated". But I think being more well rounded makes us better (and certainly happier) physicians, and more capable of empathizing with our patients.

I''ve thought about waiting post residency, but I don''t know how long that might be, and my husband is already more than ready to be a father. He''s also 4 years older than me, and I don''t think he wants to wait for too much longer, haha, although he is leaving the timing of everything entirely up to me. I think part of it is just that "feeling" or "bio clock" that''s making me anxious and restless to have a baby! I''m sure I could fight it and wait....but I don''t want to if I don''t have to!

I''m just so excited

 

[icekid]

MTG.. I definitely hear you on the baby excitement! We (or I haha) totally cannot wait. If not for my crappy job, we''d be all over it already

You are right about this generation of docs wanting more life balance (you know, 80 hour weeks instead of 120

.) The old school guys resent this often, but what the hell... working does not make me happy. Who wants to be miserable doing nothing but work? Times are changing. And if we overhaul healthcare, our hours are going to get even better (not without subsequent huge salary cut, no doubt)

It definitely sounds like a med school baby is in your future

 

[MichelleCarmen]

A friend of mine had her second child while in med school and says she feels like she missed out on being "a mom," because she was so busy. She's taken time off for her third baby.

Oh. . .re: insurance. . .my dh was at the university still when we decided to TTC and I signed up for private insurance that paid for 80% of my expenses. I went to that university to have my baby. . .did the midwife route but *at a hospital* - midwives who worked there - which turned out to be the right decision, because I needed a c/s.

 

[icekid]

Date: 11/1/2009 7:54:06 PM
Author: MC
A friend of mine had her second child while in med school and says she feels like she missed out on being ''a mom,'' because she was so busy. She''s taken time off for her third baby.

Yikes.. really? Residency is FAR more busy than medical school. And that is when we''re planning our baby. Unfortunately our training takes up the majority of our fertile years!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Date: 11/1/2009 8:03:00 PM
Author: icekid
Unfortunately our training takes up the majority of our fertile years!

I know! Ah well...

Oh, I got my core rotations schedule today! I didn''t get my top choice, but it''s not to bad.

I have Peds&OBGYN first, so excited! Then I have Surgery block, 2 weeks of summer vacation, Neuro/Psych/O''s, and then Medicine block. So it looks like I might be trying to conceive during the tail end of Medicine block hopefully! Haha, hopefully I won''t have to go to an away site...that would make the conception part notably harder unless DH was up to a lot of driving back and forth, lol.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Your schedule sounds a lot like my schedule in my third year of medical school.

In regards to timing of having a baby. Do what you think is best for you and your husband. There are pros and cons to both. I think you have a great plan, and are really thinking it through. That is the important thing.

 

[iluvcarats]

Date: 11/1/2009 1:43:31 PM
Author: LtlFirecracker
In our program everyone had X calls per year. So if someone had a baby, they would be call free during the 6 weeks of maternity leave, but than have to make it up when they came back. So although it seemed like everyone was ''covering'' those 6 weeks, it all worked out.


Pediatrics is not exactly an ''easy'' residency (although it is not as bad a surgery), and several people had kids and made it work just fine. When you get out of residency, you have more control over your lifestyle. For example, I work in a clinic from 7-5 Monday-Friday with beeper call only. I share the beeper with 3 other people, so I don''t always have it. Several of my friends do clinic + inpatient. So they often get called in the middle of the night to come to the hospital. That can be rough on a family. I am sure most of the other primary care specialities are similar.


More and more people are doing only hospital or only clinic to make things easier on their home lives. The culture of medicine is changing in many fields in regards to work/life balance.

My DH is in a small sub specialty. Only 2 residents per program per year. There was no one else to share the work, and he was on call in house more than he was home. That is atypical I am sure. Probably in most other specialties being down one resident is easily absorbed, and maternity leave isn''t a problem.