- Mar 30, 2009
IG, she's so beautiful!
AGBF|1319766807|3049097 said:That 30 week mark has come to mean much more to me than it would have until recently! In the past week or so I have been in touch with a close friend who has been beset with miscarriages for years following the birth of her son (about to turn three in a couple of days) at 27 weeks. She is hoping that with her current pregnancy she can make it to 27 weeks, but is now only at about 22 or 23 weeks. If she loses this baby, she will not try again. She has never carried another baby except her son for this long, but has had about 15 miscarriages at very early stages. She is at extremely high risk for premature birth which would, if it happens now, mean the baby's death or terrible disabilities at best. So when I hear "30 weeks" now, I feel a sigh of relief! Who on earth would have thought I would feel that even two weeks ago? Life is so strange! Now I am hoping that this young birthmother has an easy birth and that my friend makes it to at least 27 weeks and has a healthy baby!ImperfectGirl|1319723982|3048675 said:I got a call from the 14 yr old birthmother last night. She called to tell me how things went at her appointment that day. I can't get over how much she sounds just like a baby but then I have to remind myself that she is a baby. She'll be 30 weeks on Monday and says she is doing well.
A baby is considered "viable" at 24 weeks, but that doesn't mean that most are likely to survive if born then. At 24 weeks they have not yet reached the third trimester and, if they survive, may have serious disabilities. In fact, only 36% survive. If I seem obsessive, it is because I am about to immerse myself in her family the day after tomorrow. I'm going to her son's birthday party. I hope I get more good news then!
Thank you, Loves Vintage! I got to hold my friend's baby yesterday, and she was so wonderful in my arms! I couldn't believe the feel of her little head and hair against my face! Her full head of dark hair reminded me of my daughter! The baby had quite a birth story, too. She had to be taken from inside her mother and resuscitated. She was white as a sheet and her father saw it happening, but did not tell his wife. It took a minute (he said it felt far longer) to get her to breathe and turn pink. He was hysterical. When he recounted the story (on demand...his wife's mother was pushing him to tell it) he and his wife were both in tears. (And he is an ex-cop.) As I said, her life is a miracle.Loves Vintage|1329409546|3127393 said:Deb, How wonderful!!! Thank you for the update and the photo of your friend's beautiful baby girl!!
IG, Would love to hear an update from you if you have the time!
Bella- B is such a physically beautiful child! I really think I see his sweetness in his looks, too, although it may just be my imagination. (I don't really believe it is! I believe I can sense his his essence!) It saddens me to think that he is hurt by being left in daycare!!! He will, however, see that you always come back!Bella_mezzo|1329455113|3127951 said:One thing that I am struggling with a bit is how to tell him parts of his story in Ethiopia (namely deaths of close family members that resulted in him needing to be placed for adoption and close family members who still live there).
Any suggestions are most welcome!
God bless you first for giving your child life, and secondly, for doing what you believed would give your child the best possible life! I wish I could give you a hug, because people like you have amazing strength of character and are examples to the rest of us!kefira|1331215207|3143865 said:Hello, all. I'm new to PS, and have just recently started looking a bit at the areas outside of the sparkle zone. This thread caught my eye, and although I'm not sure I really belong in here, I was hoping I could contribute a bit. I read through the entire thread yesterday and was moved, touched, heartbroken, and exhilarated by the stories here.
I am a birthmother who placed a child through an open adoption. My story isn't really important, but I wanted to give some comfort to all of you who have shown so much love and empathy for the birthmothers in your lives. I know every woman and every story is different, but it's honestly not all pain and sadness on this side of the equation. For me, it was a blessing, and a very dear moment to me when I placed A in his mother's arms. I have never regretted doing it, and I knew it was exactly what I wanted and exactly the right thing to do. To this day, I'd never take back that decision.
I guess what I am trying to say is that adoption wasn't something that tore me apart or left me feeling alone or like I'd abandoned my child. I had the opportunity to be a conduit for a new family, so what could be better? It wasn't a loss, in fact for me it was the opposite. That's not to say I was never sad about the circumstances, but there was so much more happiness than sadness.
I hope this made some sense and isn't inappropriate here.