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Adolescent Humor?

seaurchin said:
I would back the principal up
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100% agree.
I used pretty much your theme- doesn't matter if he thought it was OK.
Clearly, there are consequences to one's words- and yes, this was a good lesson in that regard.
In fact, every time I interact with a teacher/ administrator, I let them know how I feel: They have the most important, least appreciated job in our country. They're probably sick of me saying it already
And this aspect is a tough one at times....
My younger son's teacher wrote to me ( cc'd my younger son) telling me that his composition was deficient, and he wasn't putting enough effort into his studies ( true).
When I read his paper, I was stunned- at how good it was!!
The kid's a natural writer. ( and I'm totally impartial:)
Now I had to thread a needle... I was pretty peeved at the teacher for criticizing what I felt was exceptional work.. while at the same time, pointing out that he was not applying himself fully, in general.
Yet, I also realize how difficult her job is- and if I got on her bad side, my boy would pay the bill. And I really love this teacher. She also taught son #1.
I explained to my son that teachers sometimes miss things- but her overall point was true.

MMtwo said:
The best thing about raising kids that is you try, and do your best, and give them love, they will be gracious about how imperfect you are.
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Wow- this stuff is making my day- thank you for reminding me:)
 
I am a former teacher and also my kids are all raised now, which are both a bit different perspectives. From this perspective, I wish I could have a few do-overs on both fronts, but too late now!

A couple of things: One, teachers see many, many more kids of the same grade level doing the same things than the kids' parents do. Therefore, if the teacher says the kid's work was not up to par and the parent thinks it was, well, you see whose side I'd argue is most likely to be accurate on that.

Second, I think it is quite natural to get our hackles up when our child is criticized. It just is. Even more so if we feel guilt for whatever may not have gone right in our child's life so far.

That said, I cringe now at a couple- okay, a few- times when I was too quick to defend one of my darlings (though, thankfully, usually, quietly at least haha) only to have my darlings then repeat that same type of behavior later and larger, to my regret. That's where I'm coming from. Good luck with it.
 
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Hi,

I too grew up with all kinds of ethnic jokes. No one was offended, mainly because we knew it was meant good naturedly. Many of us are still friends to this day/ The only no no s would be a racial slur against blacks, and jokes about handicapped people. A 12 year old can understand those issues and I for one would explain them to him.

Oher jokes between the boys are ok by me if they don't hurt anyone. We all laugh at religious jokes, blond jokes and ethnic jokes. Perhaps we grew up being less sensitive to perceived offences and did in fact have a better world than the sensitive and snowflakes of today who whine an awful lot. Your son will be fine even if he and his friends tell bawdy jokes and are insensitive to what is considered PC today. Just talk about it to him. That his father cares about him will last much longer than the jokes.

Annette
 
@smitcompton Agree to disagree perhaps. Certainly where I work the HR dept is very keen on making sure people are not insensitive to what is currently PC. And while 12 yo is obviously not part of the workforce, I don’t think it’s a bad thing for them to have awareness of these things, they will need to eventually if they want to hold certain jobs and getting the feedback early will probably be easier than hearing it as an adult from their manager.

Also as far as “nobody was offended”, my friends growing up made jokes and comments about minorities that I found hurtful but I smiled and nodded because I was the only person of color in the group and didn’t know how to deal with how it made me feel or how to talk about it with them. Because I was a child. I’m sure none of them thought I was offended or hurt by it even though I was. Children don’t always know how to bring it up even among friends, sometimes especially among friends. Granted most of the time I thought the jokes were funny too but I still remember how uncomfortable I was with the occasional hurtful one. And I didn’t even know myself at the time what made certain jokes hurtful and not others.
 
Rockdiamond said:
I'm so appreciative of this discussion- thank you all!
My kids - I am the super lucky dad of Lauren, 32, Little Mr "F" ( 12yo) and his little bro- who is 10.
The first time divorce and my own lack of ....parenting skills ( apparent to me now) made it much more difficult on all of us. Divorce sucks.

So now, I view this as the greatest gift- and opportunity for personal growth too.
As an example ( and I am so sorry Chrono) when I used to drop something, I'd curse. Oh $hit. ( I wrote this as @LisaRN was posting)
Now I am conscious of it and I say "oh shoot"...maybe about 40% of the time:)

I will agree that kids today- on the positive side- are far more aware of how hurtful racism and toxic masculinity are.
In part, I think that's the dilemma.
I still maintain there's some "nature" ( vs nurture) involved in adolescent male behavior.
Part of him knows that a ticktok about "your name spelled backward is how you die which is horrible for someone named Lana" is crude and disgusting. But that won't stop him from sharing it with his buddies. It probably spurs him on to sharing it

And if I react in horror, he'll just stop showing me.

@yssie :wavey: your words mean a lot to me..thank you.
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David,
I've been prowling your wonderful website for 3 years and never read a mention of Lauren. I was afraid you'd lost her and didn't want to ask. This is a good day, finding out there is a Lauren.
My older brothers and I inadvertently taught our mother to use the f-word. She started using it at stoplights. Oh well, it's not the worse thing about us.
As far as the differences between boys and girls, only one sex regards learning to belch the alphabet as useful.
 
it would appear we swear a lot more down under in Aussie and NZ than other places
after posting on my Bruce Springsteen forum i have to put my polite hat back on to come here and remember no swear words
 
I apologize if I sounded unduly harsh.
So your 12 YO used the F word outside the school?
into the house yelling that Mommy said the f-word--twice! Not my proudest moment.

How did this come to the principals attention anyway--that seems unusual. And I mean that in the sense that who is the tattletale in this case?
 
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Ibrakeforpossums said:
I'm gonna say it's a Kenny, not a Jenny.
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Huh?

Are you sating every person of sex A does this and no members of sex B does it?

Which are you stating is sex A, male or female?

Either answer makes you guilty of either misogyny or misandry. :naughty:
Naughty Naughty.
I thought we were all equal now.
 
nobody should burp the alphabet
swear all you want but burping intentionally is disgusting
 
Daisys and Diamonds said:
nobody should burp the alphabet
swear all you want but burping intentionally is disgusting
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How's bout the highly-esteemed Juilliard graduates (of all genders) who can fart the alphabet ... in any key ... and in perfect pitch?

I've heard controlling the embouchure down there takes years of practice.

Wait, what WAS this thread about? ... Oh yeah, 12-yr old humor.
I may be older than 12, but I refuse to give up my chops.
 
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Hi,
Make the grade-- I'm happy to hear from you. I did worry about your health.

Now to the issue, which I thought was jokes. I did'nt mean comments by other kids or bullying with words by other kids. I think the key is not to take it personally. Its just a generic form. We often write this on pricescope( you-not meaning personal but general. If someone were to make a joke of breast size, I might feel a little uncomfortable as I have small breasts, but I know they weren't being mean personally to me. Because I may feel bad about this, the feeling is internal in me. Its not the joke that made me feel that way. Its how I view myself.

I have a good friend . We can discuss anything with one another. She is a modestly religious Jew. I am(was) a Christian. Her biggest fear was that her children would marry a non ew. So, I had to listen to how awful some of the possible candidates for future spouses for her children were. God forbid if they were Catholic or Protestant she would be beside herself. I didnt' take it personally. I don't even think it wrong. People want to regulate others, even down to their jokes.

As long as the boys aren't telling the jokes to be mean to anyone, Let them keep laughing. Its a joke . They won't be called into HR when they get their first jobs. They may even become a diamond dealer.

Annette
 
Ibrakeforpossums said:
I've been prowling your wonderful website for 3 years and never read a mention of Lauren. I was afraid you'd lost her and didn't want to ask.
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Wow. I'm touched beyond words...... Lauren is 33 ( I can't believe that myself) and doing awesome- she's a child psychologist. Even after I named the company after her, she's never had any interest in the diamond business ( other than the ones she wears:)
And yes, we've discussed this issue!

This thread has been amazing for me personally for a number of reasons.
I feel strongly - for me( no value judgments about those parents who do)- that posting pics, stories....whatever about kids is a potential problem. We didn't have social media when growing up.....so we don't know the effects.
Aside from a few pics when they were tiny I've never posted them on Facebook. I appreciate the intimacy of this group for this reason.

This is related in a way......because the way it is now, a mistake can stay with you far longer than it could when I was a kid.

kenny said:
Are you sating every person of sex A does this and no members of sex B does it?
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This thread did get me thinking.....nature or nurture?
One example and this is totally non-scientific...but I've spoken to countless friends who have kids, and they concur.
When Lauren was little, getting dressed was...a war. Even when she was 3!
Not this shirt- not that dress.....OMG!!

The boys?? Throw clothes at them and they put them on. If they haven't picked them out of the laundry:)
Anyone else have this experience?
 
kenny said:
How's bout the highly-esteemed Juilliard graduates (of all genders) who can fart the alphabet ... in any key ... and in perfect pitch?

I've heard controlling the embouchure down there takes years of practice.

Wait, what WAS this thread about? ... Oh yeah, 12-yr old humor.
I may be older than 12, but I refuse to give up my chops.
Click to expand...

Kenny. Oh my goodness.
Years ago, the WSJ had a piece on euphemisms for passing gas. "Trouser cough."
I grew up with two older brothers and no sisters. They had barking spiders and trumpeting rats under their chairs. They claimed our father had perfect pitch.
You're all right, I can tell. I'd have a beer with you any time.
 
Rockdiamond said:
Wow. I'm touched beyond words...... Lauren is 33 ( I can't believe that myself) and doing awesome- she's a child psychologist. Even after I named the company after her, she's never had any interest in the diamond business ( other than the ones she wears:)
And yes, we've discussed this issue!

This thread has been amazing for me personally for a number of reasons.
I feel strongly - for me( no value judgments about those parents who do)- that posting pics, stories....whatever about kids is a potential problem. We didn't have social media when growing up.....so we don't know the effects.
Aside from a few pics when they were tiny I've never posted them on Facebook. I appreciate the intimacy of this group for this reason.

This is related in a way......because the way it is now, a mistake can stay with you far longer than it could when I was a kid.


This thread did get me thinking.....nature or nurture?
One example and this is totally non-scientific...but I've spoken to countless friends who have kids, and they concur.
When Lauren was little, getting dressed was...a war. Even when she was 3!
Not this shirt- not that dress.....OMG!!

The boys?? Throw clothes at them and they put them on. If they haven't picked them out of the laundry:)
Anyone else have this experience?
Click to expand...
Y'know, reading this thread...

I'm thinking of everything I've ever heard and read about, say, Tipper Gore and her merry band of mommy morons. PMRC - convinced that any music with dissonant guitars was occult, and would lead a generation of innocent youth into devil worship.

And I think about all the very, very real damage that FaceBook has wreaked, on adults and children alike. The shock a few years ago that a few of the most prolific posters on a popular purse forum were in dire financial straits, and were buying and returning compulsively to keep up appearances. Even car commercials that normalize buying your partner a vehicle for a holiday surprise.

Social media should come with every warning known to civilization: This Way Lies Madness.
 
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yssie said:
Social media should come with every warning known to civilization: This Way Lies Madness.
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I used to say welcome to the dark side, check your sanity at the door to welcome people to the forum.
Then someone objected because I dunno so now I dont.
Maybe some day strmrdr will be back and having fun and everyone will be in trouble.
Rofl.
 
Ibrakeforpossums said:
Kenny. Oh my goodness.
Years ago, the WSJ had a piece on euphemisms for passing gas. "Trouser cough."
I grew up with two older brothers and no sisters. They had barking spiders and trumpeting rats under their chairs. They claimed our father had perfect pitch.
You're all right, I can tell. I'd have a beer with you any time.
Click to expand...

Well, if you brake for possums, I'd love to share some beers.
 
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