shape
carat
color
clarity

ADHD?

Begonia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 2, 2011
Messages
3,652
I've always known it was a possibility I have ADHD. It runs in my family, altho none of us have been formally diagnosed...I guess we've been suffering in silence. My husband certainly has the AD part and my youngest son as well.

Could we talk about this and share as I start my journey in understanding this condition? I know so little. I watch videos on FB that explain some of the symptoms and I'm astonished as how I experience what they're describing. Today I learned that the ADHD brain functions well under pressure...another check.
 
Hi @Begonia I will be following along.

I was never officially diagnosed but in recent years (past decade plus) I have started having difficulty concentrating or engaging in quiet activities like reading. An activity I used to greatly enjoy I can no longer enjoy. I reread the sentences and cannot focus. I tie my symptoms to getting a mobile phone and a computer and being on the internet. Before that I did not have these issues. It has been getting worse. Last few years. My husband tells me to just put the phone/computer away and I will be able to enjoy reading again and to just being able to sit and watch a movie. But it is not that easy. It's almost as if my brain now demands constant stimulation. I am multitasking all day long. I feel this is unhealthy yet I also enjoy it.

I have not given up but I am not doing anything about it yet at this time because in some weird way I enjoy being constantly stimulated intellectually and also helping others (in the online groups I moderate). So for now it serves a purpose but I do want to eventually be able to shut out the noise and just relax and enjoy a good book. Shut it down when I want to and pick it back up when I want to. If that makes sense.

I wish you good luck and much success on this journey.
 
I do, ADHD combined. My oldest son does as well. I was never formally diagnosed although I'm going through the process now.

As a kid I was the "social butterfly", easily bored, needed to be busy, etc. I was berated and punished by teachers so I eventually learned to turn it inward and go elsewhere in my mind. Or doodle my way through anything. I can do nothing all day and have a complete burst of "go mode" where I can accomplish so much, especially under pressure. I wrote my masters thesis in three days.

I need constant problem solving to stay engaged or I'll mentally check out. I have major problems with auditory processing and "background noise". My short term memory is trash but if I see where something is I'll never forget it.

It's very interesting now that I know and have looked backward on my life with a different lense. I understand my strengths and weaknesses far more now and how to make the best of them both.
 
Last edited:
I'm a clinician who specializes in diagnosis, so I'm happy to share any info that might help.

One thing that may be informative is that symptoms have to exist in childhood for a diagnosis of ADHD. So even if you're diagnosed as an adult, clinicians will ask Qs about your behavior as a child, since technically this is a "developmental" disorder (meaning its present early in life)
 
I'm a clinician who specializes in diagnosis, so I'm happy to share any info that might help.

One thing that may be informative is that symptoms have to exist in childhood for a diagnosis of ADHD. So even if you're diagnosed as an adult, clinicians will ask Qs about your behavior as a child, since technically this is a "developmental" disorder (meaning its present early in life)

It absolutely is. Looking back I saw early symptoms in my son from before one year of age.
 
I was in my 40’s, at least, when a carpool friend was talking about her son’s ADD diagnosis - and what she said really resonated with me. The concept was just going mainstream then, I think. I read a book and decided to get diagnosed the first “specialist” I consulted basically told me that I couldn’t possibly have ADD since I had done well in school. That was soooo discouraging. Then a friend referred me to another specialist who she knew personally and trusted. He ran a whole battery of tests on me. The first session produced nothing. In the second session, after about the eighth test, he said “aha, there it is!”

When I told my mother about my diagnosis, she told me about a conversation she had had with my kindergarten teacher. The teacher had told my mother that I had trouble staying on task and had a tendency to daydream. But she also told my mother not to shame me for that because it was important for my creativity, or something like that. My mother was very organized and disciplined and tidy, and we lived in a culture where it was considered a parents duty to mold and shape kids into little versions of themselves - or better. To my mother mothers credit, she took those words to heart as best she could. Somehow those two women understood the ramifications of ADD long before it was “a thing.” But others were not so understanding. I remember clearly, still, an incident in the fourth grade. We were all told to clean out and organize our desks. I don’t remember how far I got, but basically I could not do it. The teacher looked at my attempt and said loudly, “You’d better marry a rich man, because you’re going to need a maid.”

I carried a whole boatload of shame about the lack of order in my life, my difficulties staying on task, and my “procrastination,” - which was probably largely (though not totally) a manifestation of the ADD. Understanding ADD helped me be a bit more gentle with myself.

I’ve tried a wide range of ADD meds. Some did not help, others had side effects I couldn’t live with. The worst were sleeplessness, and that some medicines exacerbated my tendency to develop facial tics. Oh, and one killed my libido. That was no fun. Unfortunately I could not tolerate the side effects associated with the most effective medication - aside from the side effects it truly was like a silver bullet.

I’m now just using a very low dose of Ritalin. It’s definitely helpful in blunting the worst of my symptoms. Just being aware of the condition helps too.
 
Another thing that might help people is that there's no longer a distinction between ADD and ADHD. Everyone is now under the umbrella of ADHD, and there are 3 subtypes of ADHD:

ADHD--inattentive (which comes mostly with symptoms related to being inattentive, easily distracted, disorganized, having trouble sustaining attention, etc).

ADHD--Hyperactive/impulsive (which comes with difficulty being physically still, interrupting, impulsive behavior, trouble with patience/waiting, etc)

ADHD--Combined type (which is someone who meets full criteria for both ADHD-inattentive and ADHD-hyperactive/impulsive).
 
I was a dreamer in school and my report card said so, along with "works quickly and makes careless errors".

I'm always rushing. It may not look like it (although I do move quickly and am clumsy), but in my mind I'm rushing. This makes it hard to wind down and I've suffered insomnia my whole life.

I can hyperfocus when I'm intrigued. Also I function extremely well under crisis situations, which made me a very good first responder, it's like everything slows and my brain is functioning at its' very best. I can't focus when I'm doing housework and am very easily distracted (like right now I'm supposed to be cleaning).

My short term memory is all over the place as is my long term. I also have a trauma background so that adds a layer.

I've been this way my whole life and not knowing what it was, developed coping mechanisms. Additionally I'm an INFJ.
 
Last edited:
@Begonia it definitely sounds like you have a number of ADHD--inattentive symptoms, although obviously I wouldnt ever diagnose anyone based on posts online.

Memory issues are definitely common in trauma, but as you know its also common to forget things and/or get distracted in ADHD so it's a complex thing to parse. It would probably depend on what type of memory issues you have, when the issues started, etc, to try and separate the 2 potential "causes "
 
I was in my 40’s, at least, when a carpool friend was talking about her son’s ADD diagnosis - and what she said really resonated with me. The concept was just going mainstream then, I think. I read a book and decided to get diagnosed the first “specialist” I consulted basically told me that I couldn’t possibly have ADD since I had done well in school. That was soooo discouraging. Then a friend referred me to another specialist who she knew personally and trusted. He ran a whole battery of tests on me. The first session produced nothing. In the second session, after about the eighth test, he said “aha, there it is!”

When I told my mother about my diagnosis, she told me about a conversation she had had with my kindergarten teacher. The teacher had told my mother that I had trouble staying on task and had a tendency to daydream. But she also told my mother not to shame me for that because it was important for my creativity, or something like that. My mother was very organized and disciplined and tidy, and we lived in a culture where it was considered a parents duty to mold and shape kids into little versions of themselves - or better. To my mother mothers credit, she took those words to heart as best she could. Somehow those two women understood the ramifications of ADD long before it was “a thing.” But others were not so understanding. I remember clearly, still, an incident in the fourth grade. We were all told to clean out and organize our desks. I don’t remember how far I got, but basically I could not do it. The teacher looked at my attempt and said loudly, “You’d better marry a rich man, because you’re going to need a maid.”

I carried a whole boatload of shame about the lack of order in my life, my difficulties staying on task, and my “procrastination,” - which was probably largely (though not totally) a manifestation of the ADD. Understanding ADD helped me be a bit more gentle with myself.

I’ve tried a wide range of ADD meds. Some did not help, others had side effects I couldn’t live with.

Unfortunately I could not tolerate the side effects associated with the most effective medication - aside from the side effects it truly was like a silver bullet.

I’m now just using a very low dose of Ritalin. It’s definitely helpful in blunting the worst of my symptoms. Just being aware of the condition helps too.

Wow, this sounds so much like my daughter. She was diagnosed with ADD fairly early and had (has) the same organizational and procrastination issues as you. she also had issues with the meds, either not working or as she said, making her feel like she had no personality. She went off of them for several years and during that time, she rarely completed anything. She'd drop out of college on the eve of finals, she'd go to a trade school and do quite well but only take (and pass) half of the licensing exam. Eventually she did find a job that suited her and is doing well, but like you, she is on a very low dose of Ritalin.
 
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Top