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Accidentally found E-ring

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Imperials

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 29, 2006
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12

After reading this I am sure many of you will be annoyed that I have even posted because I least I know it is going to happen but I just need to vent…


All the way back in August my BF was out of town and I was psychotically cleaning the house. While cleaning I accidentally found my engagement ring!! We, well mainly I, have been tossing around the idea of marriage but not any real serious discussions or timeline set. So needless to say I was in shock when I found it. We have an amazing relationship and I am so excited that he wants to marry. The problem is that I found the ring 4 months ago - so what is he waiting on to propose. It is driving me crazy - I cant stand it anymore. Worst part is that every weekend or anytime we do something I keep thinking this is it but of course it’s not. If I had never found the ring I would be so much happier but now all I feel is anxiety. Then of course I get really depressed and upset that I am not enjoying all the wonderful times we are having but just focusing on the fact that he has not yet proposed. Aaahhh! So, I was just wondering if anyone else has accidentally found out their BF was going to propose?

 

janinegirly

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 21, 2006
Messages
3,689
hmm, that''s an interesting one...where''d you find the ring? Was it well hidden? I think your anxiety is not unlike many of us. Quite a few of us know it''s coming based on timelines, or some have had bf''s ask their parents--and yet no idea when it''ll happen or why the extended wait, or if something''s wrong.....which yes, causes major anxiety. You''d think it''d be the opposite, but the more you think it''s coming, the harder it is to manage the disappointment when it doesn''t, and the harder to understand why. There could be many reasons. Your best bet is to pretend you never found the ring, and just have a conversation with him about timelines, maybe even why things haven''t moved forward,etc. He may reassure you and that may be all you need. It could be that he''s waiting for some ideal date (or has a date in mind) and doesn''t think you *know* so figures what''s the rush..
 

decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
11,534
Yikes ... okay ... how long have you guys been dating? NO serious talks about gettin'' hitched? Really?

This is a stumper. Does it look like something he would have picked out for you? My first thought was that my sister''s now husband''s PARENTS gave him a stone to use for WHEN he wanted to get engaged - long before he actually was ready to be engaged. Does that make sense? So I was wondering if it might be that kind of scenario ... or .. worse, from a previous relationship!

But those are worst-case-scenarios ... it does show that there''s more than one conclusion to jump to.

Hopefully he picked it out just for you and he''s waiting for some specific date. Have you initiated any conversations about weddings/engagement etc SINCE you found the ring???

YIKES!
 

therighttime

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 20, 2006
Messages
224
Wow! You have kept quiet this long after finding it! I''d be going crazy too! As Janine said, a lot of us feel similar in the wondering what is taking so long. We KNOW it''s going to happen, but just don''t know when. My bf talked to my dad at the first of August so I am going crazy wonder what he is waiting on!

I agree that you just need to have a timeline talk, especially if you haven''t had any serious marriage talks yet.

SO.... tell us about that RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

musey

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2006
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11,242
You''re a SAINT for keeping your mouth shut!! I wouldn''t have lasted even a week.

That''s SO EXCITING that he''s planning to propose!!! I don''t think any of us will ever understand why a guy waits once he has the ring
. Do you have a special vacation coming up? An anniversary? Birthday? He may be waiting for the "perfect" occasion! (Although I have to say, for me, the perfect occasion would be RIGHT NOW!! haha)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

monarch64

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 12, 2005
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17,744
There are lots of holidays coming up he could be waiting for...you ARE a saint for keeping this to yourself, though, I agree!
 

Imperials

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 29, 2006
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12
We have been together almost three years and lived together the past year. I think it is obvious that we are both on the track to marriage but we have only hypothetically discussed it not having any concrete talks involving dates and such. The past year I have had three friends get engaged so that was a free ticket for me to discuss engagement rings with him being able to explain what I like and dislike. So I know the ring I found is specifically for me and the receipt was also with it so I know he purchased it Aug. 14th. It is a princess cut 1.41 carats VVS2 Color H and the setting is similar to a Tiffany''s Lucida design. It is gorgeous - I look at it almost once a week (bad I know!!) Since I have found it we have had so many romantic trips or occasions when he could have proposed. So I just don’t get it – why do they do this to us??
FYI- I am so glad I found this website to express my feelings. I haven’t told one single person, not even my mother, that I have found the ring.
 

poptart

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 23, 2006
Messages
1,899
Wow. I don''t know how you couldn''t tell ANYONE. I would have had to break it to someone or I would have busted at the seams! Do you think you might ever just confront him about it? I would, but I confront DH about EVERYTHING, so I wouldn''t be able to not say anything. I bet he is just waiting for the holidays because he thinks it would be romantic, or maybe he just hasn''t come up with an idea of HOW to propose, so he is trying to think that through. At least find comfort in the fact that you WILL be getting engaged soon!

*M*
 

Imperials

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 29, 2006
Messages
12
I knew I wanted to be with him forever the first time we met so you would think I would feel completely relieved to have found the ring but nope I don’t feel relieved at all. Now I just feel anxious, sick, worried, stressed, annoyed, etc etc. He hid the ring in a lock box that fell off a shelve when I was cleaning. It was like I was meant to find it because the box fell down, lid came open, and the ring just toppled out and over to my feet. Why oh why couldnt he have hid it better?

I do have a fear that if he doesn’t ask me soon I will confront him about it which I know will totally crush him. I am sure he thinks it is going to be a total surprise and he has picked the most perfect ring and I really don’t want to ruin that for him. But come on – how long can it take to plan a way to propose.

Also, I have had approximately 8 million manicures since I found the ring so he better pop the question soon or I am going to go broke!!

 

robbie3982

Ideal_Rock
Joined
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3,960
Perhaps he has a specific time that he''s been dreaming of proposing. My FI''s was our beach vacation. I too kept thinking about all the perfect times he was missing out on, but I''m glad he waited. It really was perfect. I didn''t have to wait nearly as long as you did and I was a crazy person the whole time. Maybe your bf is waiting for christmas or new years?
 

sumbride

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2006
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3,867
You are a saint... be glad you love the ring! That''s a great thing! I bet he''s waiting for Christmas/New Years as well. My FI was waiting for a specific vacation too... but more importantly to him, a specific DAY of our vacation... so the whole time I was thinking "now? why not now??" In the end it was great and I certainly didn''t tell him what I was thinking (until later when he laughed hysterically!) but he picked up on my dissapointment and that made it even more fun for him since he knew when it would be. Stinker.

Don''t bring it up. You know it''s for you. Just hang in there. Hopefully you won''t have to wait much longer!!! And we can''t wait to see pics!!!
 

marvel

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 8, 2005
Messages
1,133
I bet he''s waiting for Christmas also. He''ll probably want to give it to you as a Christmas gift. Hang in there...and congratulations!
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
You must be the most patient person in the world to not have said anything! I certainly would have talked to him before long!

Maybe you should initiate a calm discussion about marriage? You might get some hints about it!
 

kcoursolle

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 21, 2006
Messages
10,589
Many holidays are coming up, xmas, valentines day, etc. The hard part will be expecting it to happen *at each one*...good luck my friend, it''s going to be a challenge. Lots of chocolate.
 

Julian

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 5, 2004
Messages
724
You are such a saint, really! You need your own halo!

Congrats on there BEING a ring! That''s definite progress... as for why he''s waiting, well... he may be waiting for the right time or he may be planning a big surprise. Sometimes it just has to "feel" right for the guy and so many factors depend on that, I guess.

Try to concentrate on enjoying this last period of time when you are bf and gf!!!!!!! It''s sweet in a way, because soon you will be engaged and then married! Time really flies once you have the ring on your finger. Enjoy this time!

You are an angel to be so discreet! I am sooooo bad. Had I found the ring, I would have been wearing it when he got home. "Honey, look what I found!!!!!!"
This is why my DH went to such great lengths to hide my ring. I jokingly went LOOKING for it sometimes (cracked him up) so that it became a running joke between us. I couldn''t stand the suspense! I wanted to see what it looked like!!!
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Messages
11,071
I hate to sound a pooper - but what if he''s hiding it for a friend of his??
 

Dee*Jay

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 26, 2006
Messages
12,927
You''ve found the ring and you haven''t posted hand shots???


(Just kidding!)

Honestly, I would not have a fraction of the restraint that you do. Keep it up for just a little while longer--I bet it''s coming on either Christmas or New Years.
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Messages
11,071
Date: 11/29/2006 3:48:07 PM
Author: Imperials
We have been together almost three years and lived together the past year. I think it is obvious that we are both on the track to marriage but we have only hypothetically discussed it not having any concrete talks involving dates and such. The past year I have had three friends get engaged so that was a free ticket for me to discuss engagement rings with him being able to explain what I like and dislike. So I know the ring I found is specifically for me and the receipt was also with it so I know he purchased it Aug. 14th. It is a princess cut 1.41 carats VVS2 Color H and the setting is similar to a Tiffany''s Lucida design. It is gorgeous - I look at it almost once a week (bad I know!!) Since I have found it we have had so many romantic trips or occasions when he could have proposed. So I just don’t get it – why do they do this to us??
FYI- I am so glad I found this website to express my feelings. I haven’t told one single person, not even my mother, that I have found the ring.
okay I take that last post back, but I''m cracking up here how you check it once a wek - that''s so cute!!! :)
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
55,038
Bless your heart! How frustrating! Everytime guys come on here saying they've bought a ring and want to surprise her at the beach in 6 months...I say, pleeeease don't do that! They sincerely seem to have NO clue how tortured the poor girl is! A sweet romantic proposal can happen 365 days a year, so there is no excuse to wait for so long after buying the ring, IMO.

But I also strongly agree that he should not know you found the ring. he obviously wants to surprise you, so I wouldn't tell him until maybe your 50th anniversary of something.


Oh..and you are very smart NOT to tell anyone you know. That is the only way to be SURE he does not find out you know.
 

WTNLVR

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 30, 2005
Messages
623
Wow, you are a saint. I think it''s funny that you peak weakly. I would do the exact same thing! I''m sure he''s waiting for the holidays. My hubby bought my ring in September and didn''t propose till x-mas eve because I had told him I thought that was the most romantic night of the year. I was pretty down before the holidays thinking once again it wouldn''t happen (we were together for 8 yrs). At least you know the ring is bought and it''s just a matter of time. Just try to keep busy with all the upcoming holiday cheer and the time will fly by- well, maybe not, but that''s what you have PS for. Keep us posted!
 

ljmorgan

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 5, 2006
Messages
1,037
First of all congratulations... becase that is so exciting! You love the man, you love the ring, and he plans on marrying you! I know how frustrating that is, my wait was shorter but I know how it feels. Whatever you do, DON''T ruin it for him... don''t make under your breath comments, etc. He is waiting for the right time to him! Hey he got the ring all on his own (and made a great choice according to you) and he has a plan for the proposal too. I know it''s making you crazy... just try shifting your focus to "we''re getting married!" Just start occupying your head with wedding planning...
But really, just try to focus on how in love you two are, how much he loves you, how hard he worked to make the ring a surprise... and just wait for the proposal! Congratualtions again!
 

Miranda

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 18, 2006
Messages
4,101
OMG!!! You poor thing. I cannot believe you haven''t said anything...To anyone!!! You must be ready to burst! I''d wait until Christmas. He''s probably waiting until then. Maybe you should just prod him a little. Have you had the marriage talk lately? Maybe just tell him how much you love him and talk about "whenIgettoweartheringontheshelf, I mean, when we are married" Just kidding! Does he know about PS? Maybe tell him a story of a wonderful xmastime (or pre xmas) proposal from PS so he gets the idea. He may just be scared that he won''t do it right. I''m totally laughing about you peeking at it once a week...I''d be wearing that sucker around all of the time. I''ll hold a good thought for you that he does it soon and stops the torture!!!!!!!
 

the other Jake

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 9, 2006
Messages
423
Don''t feel too bad. I just got my g/f''s engagement ring and I''m not proposing until March! He prob has a specific date set like I do. You just solidified my plan to put it in a safety deposit box though! What am I gonna do with all the stuff and the gigantic box it comes in!?!
 

Independent Gal

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2006
Messages
5,471
Here''s a funny thought: I bet he''s checking the box once a week too. If it were me, I''d leave him a note IN the lock box: "Honey, sweety, doll, WHAT are you waiting for?"

How exciting! And how AGONIZING! But if you start feeling frustrated, just concentrate on the fact that you love this man and you love the RING. (I''m thinking about that Sex and the City episode where Carrie finds the ring and she hates it.)
 

allycat0303

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 19, 2004
Messages
3,255
Well you told us.....
SO I think the question is, are you going to act surprised? Are you going to confess to him after that you found the ring before hand? I think that would worry me more then anything.
 

lovebug

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 30, 2006
Messages
32
Hi all. I have been lurking for quite some time now, but haven''t posted until this time. Imperials I really feel for you! I have a similar story --

Here is the background - BF and I have been together for 7 years, although we were very young when we met, so I have really only been waiting for an engagement for the last 2 years or so (i have had engagement fever that is CHRONIC in my case!)

So...about a month and a half ago I was looking for something and I went into my BF''s work briefcase. In it I found diamond and pearl cleaner! He doesn''t wear and jewelry at all, so there would be no other reason for him to have it other than if he was getting my ring, or...HE ALREADY HAS IT??? Although it hasn''t been as long as you, Imperials, this last month has been excruciating for me! I have been wanting to say something to him, but I don''t want to ruin it for him either! It has been so hard, I can only IMAGINE how awful it has been for you to actually SEE the ring and know that it is there!!! I don''t know how you are coping with it!

My advice, for what it is worth, is to not say anything. He is obviously waiting for something (who knows what goes on in their little brains!) and it would ruin the engagement for both of you to say anything! Feel free to vent to me when you need to! I kind of know what you''re going through!

Best of luck and I will keep my fingers crossed for you!
 

Imperials

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 29, 2006
Messages
12
Date: 11/30/2006 5:46:32 PM
Author: allycat0303
Well you told us.....
SO I think the question is, are you going to act surprised? Are you going to confess to him after that you found the ring before hand? I think that would worry me more then anything.
I am so so nervous about how I might react when he proposes. Certainly I will be happy but surprised? I fear that he will see it in my eyes that I already knew it was coming or that I might give the "Finally" look. Maybe I need to start practing what my reaction will be?
 

blushingbride

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 10, 2006
Messages
1,653
Hi Imperials!

I have been lurking too for quite sometime and got engaged at the end of August so, I decided to finally start posting! I used to be LIW and this forum REALLY help me to know I wasn''t along.

Like you, I also accidentally found my engagement ring!! Here''s my brief story...FI and I have been together 3 years now. At the 2 year mark, we starting seriously discussing marriage and eventually we went ring shopping together. We both fell in love with a setting we saw at Michael C. Fina (I live in NYC) and decided that would be the one. Our goal was to be engaged by the time my lease was up at the end of Sept. of this year so that we could live together and make our parents happy about doing so.

In May, we had gone back to Michael C. Fina and picked out a stone for the setting. We also decided to have it shipped to my parents house who lived out of state so we could avoid paying taxes. So, I knew between June and September I would be engaged which was exciting!!

During July 4th weekend, we went to my parent''s house for the long weekend. When we returned, my FI had gone to park our car and as I was unpacking our stuff, I found a plastic bag in the suitcase which had the ring box right inside! I couldn''t believe it!! Of course, I had to open in and look at it (I know, awful right?), but I already knew what it was going to look like so, it wasn''t that much of a surprise.

So, my parents must have given him the ring when we were home and now I was sitting there WAITING for it happen. I was sure it was going to happen that week, but when it didn''t I was thinking the following week. Then that week came and went, so I was really getting nervous and anxious! I couldn''t understand what he was waiting for, espeically since one of my friends had also found her ring - she even was trying it on every night
(she helped to design her ring with her FI and even knew when he was picking it up) and she only had to wait 5 days until she got it! My FI knew this story, so I assumed he would do the same thing, but he didnt''!

Before long it was already August and one of my good friends had just gotten engaged and I felt like everyone was feeling sorry for me because it hadn''t happen to me yet (everyone knew how close we were to getting engaged). It was awful...not to mention the clock was ticking and my lease would soon be up! My parents were even starting to ask a little because the the ring had arrived at their house and they gave it to my FI, so they knew he had it. They were getting worried about my lease being up soon too and I had to reassure them that my FI wasn''t going to leave me out on the street!


We had also planned a Bermuda in mid September so, I was thinking he might be waiting to do it there, but that wouldn''t leave me with a lot of time to move and everything taken care of by the end of the month. Plus, I couldn''t have imagined going there and anticipating him proposing - I would''ve been on edge the whole time and wouldn''t have been able to enjoy myself.

FINALLY, he ended up proposing on August 29!!! His birthday is Oct. 29 so, he said the 29th is significant to him (a lucky number). Also, since my friend got engaged before me, he had to push things back a bit since he wanted me to have my own special moment and not have to share her spotlight! SOOOO, after hearing all of this I realized that he had plan the entire time and I was just acting like a crazy person !!


Belive me, it will happen - he probably just has something in mind that he''s planning special for you!! Hope my story helps a little!
 

firebirdgold

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 30, 2005
Messages
2,216
I knew the proposal was coming, and I had suspicions about the ring. (I'd actually given him a choice of a few rings but didn't know which one he picked). I was still surprised and exicited. Don't worry too much about that.
(Admittedly I didn't actually take a good look at the ring for at least three minutes 'cause I was too busy kissing him and bouncing! )

Men are just really odd with the whole proposal thing. They almost all seem to get some idea stuck in their head and won't budge at all. For alot of men the proposal is as important to them as the wedding is to us. Mine had a whole plan in his head, and from the day he first 'unofficially' asked me to marry him and started saving for the ring, until the day he actually 'officially' proposed was 14 freaking months. I would have gone insane without this forum! (thanks again ladies!) My abnormally honest fi even lied to me about his savings so I wouldn't know he had already finished saving up. (6 months before the proposal, I might add!)

Don't worry, take deep breaths... and start pre-planning the wedding! I did that, and as a result had all the info on hand for whatever type of wedding we picked. I had places picked out for small wedding, bigger wedding, local wedding, wedding in his home state, wedding in Mexico, wedding in Hawaii, wedding in Jamacia... you name it, I had bookmark folders for it.
By the time he proposed I also had secret caches of bridal porn.

Really, pre-planning helps take your mind off of the wait!


ETA: Due to the long wait I had fits of paranoia where I thought my fi was having second thoughts. If you are too, don't worry, he's not! He loves you and he's all excited about his cool plan. Don't get paranoid!!
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
Date: 12/1/2006 11:59:00 AM
Author: Imperials

Date: 11/30/2006 5:46:32 PM
Author: allycat0303
Well you told us.....
SO I think the question is, are you going to act surprised? Are you going to confess to him after that you found the ring before hand? I think that would worry me more then anything.
I am so so nervous about how I might react when he proposes. Certainly I will be happy but surprised? I fear that he will see it in my eyes that I already knew it was coming or that I might give the ''Finally'' look. Maybe I need to start practing what my reaction will be?
Don''t worry, you won''t even have to act! When FI and I got engaged, we''d picked it out together and that morning he took me with him to pick in up... He proposed an hour later during a walk in a park. I obviously knew it was IT, but I still started bawling when he got on one knee!!
 
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