About heirloom jewels

[stci]

Would like to know your opinion.

How I can be equitable to distribute my jewels to my children. I have 1 boy (22) and 1 girl (27).

Do you plan to give your jewels only when you die or before?

Do I have to evaluate the price of each pieces and proceed with this?

Curious to know the best way to make that correctly.

 

[ringthings]

I would factor in what pieces they like/have noticed, not just price.

I'd ask them (separately) what their favorite jewelry of yours is. Maybe there's a ring they remember seeing all the time as a kid. Or, there's a necklace you wore at their graduation/wedding/special occasison. Make a list of what they like/remember. Then, consider value (both financial and sentiment) of each. For example, one kid shouldn't get all of the 100 year of family jewels- there should be some balance. Same with financially valuable items- they could each get some sentimental and valuable items. Of course, I wouldn't give much of it to a 21 year old boy. It might be that you give more to the girl, and end up giving the son jewelry through his future wife (which can be risky in case of divorce).

Personally, I'd say that the daughter in her upper 20s is probably old enough to take care of and appreciate a few "nice" pieces of jewelry right now. If her living conditions change a lot (roommates, moves often), then I probably wouldn't give her the most precious family jewels now.. but some basic pieces she could probably appreciate and enjoy using now. I would wait on giving much to her if she frequently loses things. I guess I'd wait until the son has been married for a few years to give him them. You don't want to exclude him, but he doesn't really have a need. Are there any "mens" jewelry in your collection? It could be that he's not interested in jewelry anyway, or maybe he likes it. I'd definitely wait until he's older.

I'm young, and have been given a handful of heirloom jewels- some sentimental, and some "nicer." I wear one of the rings all the time, and have a few other items I wear to most dressy occasions. There are some things that I will get when I'm older, instead- partly because I've gotten some key things in recent history, and partly because their owner still wants to wear them. There are a few things that I chose to not accept/hold onto yet- like an heirloom wedding ring. It's not so much that it's a "nicer" wedding ring, but that it's sentimental. I'd rather lose something of value than something irreplaceably sentimental. I also want to wait to decide what I would want to do with it- incorporate it into my wedding ring, or make a pendent, or leave as is, etc. Anyway, I'd make sure your kids both like and are comfortable with whatever you gave them. You'll want to tell them the value of an item, otherwise it's likely a young person won't realize how valuable jewelry can be. Personally, I had no idea.. until reading up on here.

 

[stci]

Great answer!!! Thank you very much!

 

[ringthings]

Glad it helped a little. I did forget to mention one thing- I'm your long lost child. I kid.

It might be good to also thing about your kid's style (personal/fashion) and the type of jewelry. If it's a very antique look and your kid is very modern and chic in dressing, she might not appreciate the piece just yet. Or, maybe she would anyway. You could even save a few things for future potential grandkids, if either kid might want to have kids one day. Little trinkets from grandparents are fun, even if of trivial value-- some old memento can seem like a treasure to a little kid.

Good luck in figuring it out.. I've seen how challenging distributing different heirlooms can be.

 

[reader]

Stci, something you may wish to consider, take a picture of each piece, and in a notebook, put down as much information about each item as you can. Where you bought it, who owned it before you. You may have told your kids about each piece a hundred times, but having your words to read will mean a lot to them when you are gone, and also when they get old themselves and their memories are starting to slip a little.

 

[KaeKae]

stci, so glad you posted your question! I've been thinking about writing up a little description for each of my most treastured pieces since my first child was born...she turned 15 last month Well, I finally did something about it last week. I took out my jewelry box, sat down at the computer and wrote up a little description for each piece, including any stats I have and who/where/why I recieved or bought it. I like Reader's idea of adding a picture to the descriptions, and may try to add that at some point. I also have to pull out the couple appraisals I have because I worked from memory...

I now have two daughters, a neice and nephew, a god-daughter and her sister (who I would never leave out.) So, I still need to work out what goes to who. I like ringthings' idea of asking them for some input. My daughters are young yet to have developed a real style, so I'm thinking each will get something from one of my grandmothers, with a third piece to to the neice and fourth, to the nephew if I have that many. Then each will get something from me, and I'll look for something special to pass on to the GD (we share a birthstone) and her sister. Don't know if that helps any, but I can say my own grandmother didn't do this years ago, and left it to my mom and her sister. While there were no hard feelings there, it would have been better and more meaningful if grandma had made those decisions herself.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Speaking about my relationship with my mother (still alive), I wouldn't want her to give away her jewelry before her death - she should enjoy them!

When my grandmother's illness became terminal, she chose a special piece of jewelry for each of her children, daughters in law and grandchildren. So my aunt got her wedding pearls (she was the only daughter who opted to wear them when she got married), I got an aqua ring (I am the only grandchild with bluish eyes), my cousin got the pendant she used to play with as a child, etc. This wasn't done considering cost, but rather the emotional tie each of us had with her and the pieces. The remaining pieces were divided among the children along with the rest of the objects in the estate (the money was divided equally). They decided to use the "pick one at a time" approach. Then, each one could decide if they were aiming for resale price, emotional ties, how well that couch would fit in the living room or whatever criteria they prefered.

 

[ringthings]

I like the idea of giving them one "significant" thing now, and the rest later. You'll enjoy seeing them enjoy what you give them now, and later, as they get other items, they will have more experience on how to take care of (and not loose) "major" pieces. You could start with costume jewelry, even.