A Womans Room

[doberman]

Hi.

It has been distressing for me to see the traffic to hangout at such a low point. It somehow reminded me of a Marilyn French book called A Womans Room. ,published in 1977, Hangout is now A Womans Room. We are constrained to only dealing with soft topics that befit our status as women. I am not advocating our right to freedom of speech, but both the reality and perception that women are unable to behave as, I suppose, God intended. We have gone backward on this board. and+ even though we are at a most critical point in our democracy the Womans Room is back in existence for those smart wonderful women who used come on pricescope. They really ar mart women, nd I miss them.

I have gone to reddit, where I saw how they expanded to Wall Street Bets, and those people have started a crusade of sorts against hedgefund short sellers. They, along with Robinhood have produced some interesting ideas. Reddit withstands the criticism, bad language and scrutiny from outside the organization Robinhood, which is a brokerage for the little guy is going public, after a near crisis from the reddit crowd. And yes, I bought gamestop. This is an example of innovation that could not exist without capitalism and democracy.

The Gov't bodies shape our existence. To dis=allow discussion of all the topics, including the overthrow of that democracy is beyond what advertisers can expect, ( with the exception of lies) or the thought that this should be kept as only a diamond and jewelry board.

I believe you have disrespected women and keep them in The Womans Room. Let the Women out.

Annette

I agree with you and it's a shame that a few weenie-whineys had to spoil things for the rest of us.

No disrespect to management here, let me be clear. I'm sure that fielding complaints from control freaks masquerading as nice people who just want everyone to get along couldn't have been easy.

 

[Jambalaya]

I'm sure that fielding complaints from control freaks masquerading as nice people who just want everyone to get along couldn't have been easy.

According to Ella, the complaints weren't expressions of "I wish we could all get along." The complaints were pretty abusive, we're told. Since many of the frequent contributors said that they were OK with the political boxing ring and dominance of Hangout, and therefore it probably wasn't the most prolific writers on the topic, it does beg the question of who sent those horrible messages to management. Not going to deny that I'd be interested to know!

 

[Demon]

You can blame all the snowflakes who ran to Ella, being rude and causing her extra work, for the fact that politics is no longer here. It certainly wasn't me - I stayed out of it all. I did mostly ignore it, although it was disappointing and unpleasant to read an interesting-sounding thread and then see it devolve, ruining a good discussion and a learning opportunity. Many of the people in this thread who really liked the politics are saying that they were cool with the whole shebang and that they just ignore what they don't like. Makes me wonder who did cause all the fuss. Maybe there's a silent majority.

I don't know if it was a majority, but they certainly weren't silent - their complaints were what got it shut down. There were even some who couldn't stay out of the threads that wanted it shut down, lol. Now there's some people who have self control issues.

 

[Demon]

Demon...please tell me is that a demantoid in your profile pic?

Hi. No, its a fancy intense green yellow diamond. It has strong green fluorescence, which makes it somewhat changeable. Here's the vendor photo, but in the sun it looks like a little chunk of lime popsicle. (BTY - Kenny has an even better one - vivid green yellow with very strong green fluorescence, IIRC)

 

[Jambalaya]

I don't know if it was a majority, but they certainly weren't silent - their complaints were what got it shut down. There were even some who couldn't stay out of the threads that wanted it shut down, lol. Now that's some people who have self control issues.

Right, but I mean silent in terms of writing about what they thought of the inclusion of politics. They complained privately instead of expressing their feelings on the boards.

 

[Jambalaya]

There were even some who couldn't stay out of the threads that wanted it shut down, lol.

How do you know who wanted Politics shut down? I guess some must have written about that openly at the time, then. I wasn't around much during Fight Club, lol!

 

[Demon]

How do you know who wanted Politics shut down? I guess some must have written about that openly at the time, then. I wasn't around much during Fight Club, lol!

Well yes, that's how we know some of those who wanted it shut down. Others, we don't know.

 

[Jambalaya]

Well yes, that's how we know some of those who wanted it shut down. Others, we don't know.

Ah. I didn't realize that some people had openly advocated to have Politics shut down.

 

[Demon]

Ah. I didn't realize that some people had openly advocated to have Politics shut down.

It was......bizarre. Basically "I can't stay away, so please shut it down"

 

[Jambalaya]

It was......bizarre. Basically "I can't stay away, so please shut it down"

Hmm. Well, I do remember reading some very interesting discussions, and then - after you'd got well into it and were on about page 5 or further - it would suddenly all curdle like milk. Which is such a pity and spoilt all the enjoyment. Maybe that's how those bizarre complaints happened?

 

[Demon]

Hmm. Well, I do remember reading some very interesting discussions, and then - after you'd got well into it and were on about page 5 or further - it would suddenly all curdle like milk. Which is such a pity and spoilt all the enjoyment. Maybe that's how those bizarre complaints happened?

Lol. I just think it was people on the less popular political side, here, that couldn't use the ignore button, but I'm not privy to anything that was sent to Admin., obviously. Just my thoughts

 

[Jambalaya]

The complaints were abusive...and so Ella decides to make them happy? It's always a mistake to give in to an abuser. Always. Disappointing.

It sounds like it was a lot and from different people, and causing management a lot of extra and unpleasant work. I agree with the principle as it applies in real life, though.

 

[Jambalaya]

Lol. I just think it was people on the less popular political side, here, that couldn't use the ignore button, but I'm not privy to anything that was sent to Admin., obviously. Just my thoughts

There's one problem with that Ignore button. I've barely used it, but I did once, and the trouble is that other posters will reply to something the ignored member said, and then you don't know what everyone is talking about. You lose the thread of the discussion. And it's not as if every single thing that the person says is objectionable, after all. It's a solution with too broad a brush for me, so I don't tend to use it. If I use the actual Ignore button, I end up taking them off so I can see the whole discussion. I know you can click "See this content", but then they're off Ignore - I think - and anyway, it just gets too clunky.

Back to replying on general topic of this thread and not specifically to you, Demon: Just because I may not always like someone's style, it doesn't mean that I don't value the content of what they have to say. (I've complained to management precisely once in my time here, which was about Kenny's Don't Tell Me It's a Test thread, mentioned previously here.) I don't complain and I do use self-control to ignore. It's what I did throughout the Politics time. I'd probably do the same if another contentious topic was allowed. But personally, I still wouldn't like any one contentious topic to dominate and to keep declining into fights which ruin the threads.

Edited.

 

[Demon]

There's one problem with that Ignore button. I've barely used it, but I did once, and the trouble is that other posters will reply to something the ignored member said, and then you don't know what everyone is talking about. You lose the thread of the discussion. And it's not as if everything that the person says is objectionable, after all. It's a solution with too broad a brush for me, so I don't tend to use it. Just because I may not always like someone's style, it doesn't mean that I don't value the the content of what they have to say. If I put someone on Ignore, I end up taking them off so I can see the whole discussion.

(I know you can click "See this content", but then they're off Ignore - I think - and anyway, it just gets too clunky.)

And there's always the back button, to get out of the thread. I've used ignore here for one or two people. At that other forum for a few more. I love the ignore button.

 

[Jambalaya]

^See, I find that the Ignore button leads to a reading experience that's as if someone's done a cut-and-paste with the discussion! But I guess that's gonna happen if the person you put on Ignore is a frequent poster.

I had one experience where I put someone on Ignore, forgot I'd done it, and ended up asking the forum where this person had gone, and were they OK!

 

[Cerulean]

I’m honestly a bit baffled by folks who just couldn’t bear the topic.

The topic itself is benign, it’s the attitude you attach to it that can be malignant. But as adults we have agency…

It’s a shame that Ella got abused. Shame, shame on people who did that. That’s the most horrifying thing about all of this. I hope those members are permanently banned.

Admittedly @Jambalaya I am a little confused as to why it was impossible to avoid controversial threads that swallowed Hangout, and no offense, especially coming from someone who posed an extremely controversial topic about the age of consent.

I’ve seen plenty of difficult thread topics with generally smaller cohorts contributing, from mental health, physical disability, financial uncertainty, pregnancy complications, etc. Any one of these can be extremely emotional. I also don’t see it as selfish that these folks post about deeply emotional topics to discuss on a forum that happens to be about jewelry. Isn’t that the point of Hangout?

As a newer PSer I found it incredibly easy to stay over in sparkle land in SMTB and RT if I wasn’t in the mood for anything heavy.

I just…don’t get the fragility.

 

[Jambalaya]

^ I mentioned upthread that it would have been OK if Hangout hadn't been dominated with this one topic. I also mentioned, at least twice, that the nastiness wasn't really avoidable because it's not like a thread started off that way; you'd typically have read through pages of it before it devolved before your very eyes. And it happened over and over. None of the topics you mention above have taken over. There's a variety. An ebb and flow.

I don't think that it's reasonable or fair for Hangout to be flooded and dominated with a topic as contentious and divisive as politics, and I don't see what's so controversial about that opinion.

People whose politics were in the minority weren't treated well, and that's not fair, either.

As for fragility, politics has been banned twice on PS, and I had nothing to do with either time. I wasn't even a member the first time, and the last and only time I made a complaint was October 2014. I DID ignore what I didn't like. This is an after-discussion of the events, and I'm saying that I, for one, was relieved after it was banned. Two bannings of this topic show that it doesn't work here. It's not me pulling the strings!

Edited x 3.

 

[Jambalaya]

It’s a shame that Ella got abused. Shame, shame on people who did that. That’s the most horrifying thing about all of this. I hope those members are permanently banned.

Totally.

But I also feel bad for people who were abused by other posters. I'm sure there were plenty of non-abusive and reasonable complaints, too.

People say that Hangout is quiet, but is that because the political enthusiasts are posting less compared to when we had politics, or because others were driven away during the political hostilities? Traffic isn't just measured by the number of posts, it's also the number of posters. If we have a ton of posts but the majority are being made by a small core, then the site doesn't have much traffic.

In my opinion, people who would post more are put off by some of the more forceful, sarcastic responses here. Daisys and Diamonds admitted today that she keeps her mouth shut after being jumped on. I don't care and just respond with politeness to everyone and anyone, but not everyone can ignore a negative tone or response, and not everyone comes here to butt heads. You never know what someone has going on in their life. I'd rather err on the kinder side in my tone, just in case someone is having a hard time. (And also, sarcasm just isn't me. When I was growing up it was referred to as "the lowest form of wit," and that has always stuck with me.) You never know. Personally, I think it would be better if more people erred on the kinder side in their writing. The reason I think that would be better is because it might encourage less abrasive or somewhat shy writers who don't enjoy fighting to come forward and share their opinions, too.

 

[doberman]

I find the whole idea of a problem with political threads to be silly. I mean, the internet is full of ****. I find **** to be repugnant, so I don't search it out or go on any sites. It's not up to others to solve your problems staying away.

Dancing Fire is on the opposite political spectrum from me, but he was never rude and I was never rude. I enjoy him very much as a poster. I do think that some people had a particular political ideology and resented seeing the opposing side get airtime.

 

[Jambalaya]

It's not up to others to solve your problems staying away.

Me? I stayed away from those threads, mostly. When I did read, too often an interesting thread would descend into chaos. It was a pity. I ignored it, didn't really contribute that much, and certainly didn't complain. But privately I did think it was too toxic, too often. JMO.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi All,

I wonder why no one is addressing the fact that the Political Threads didn't have to be on hangout ... We asked to move it but this option was turned down. Hide us away in the attic

Red made a point when she talked about parity. There is no question that a person would feel bullied when people keep responding to an unpopular opinion post and don't stop, or seem not to know when to call it a day. I certainly suggested we have different threads for Conservatives and Liberals. Discussions are not only for opposing views, but can be for those with similar views. Feelings of well being usually do come from the people who agree with us. There is no rule or law that says we must show both sides.

I miss DF too. Really. He is the only one I have lost it with. He stands strong. He really does make me mad, but I like him and it Ok with me if he makes me mad.

This is not unsolvable. We can mark a conservation post with a C and a Liberal post with an L. I might go to both as I am a moderate and on some issues I agree with conservatives and some issues with liberals.

I have been around a long time on this earth. You will never find a group of smart women as we have seen on here in one place. Collage maybe, but even among my smartest friends, I have never had the pleasure of so many wonderful, smart women in one place. I don't want to lose that. Their opinion are music to my ears.

Annette

.

 

[Demon]

Hi All,

I wonder why no one is addressing the fact that the Political Threads didn't have to be on hangout ... We asked to move it but this option was turned down. Hide us away in the attic

Red made a point when she talked about parity. There is no question that a person would feel bullied when people keep responding to an unpopular opinion post and don't stop, or seem not to know when to call it a day. I certainly suggested we have different threads for Conservatives and Liberals. Discussions are not only for opposing views, but can be for those with similar views. Feelings of well being usually do come from the people who agree with us. There is no rule or law that says we must show both sides.

I miss DF too. Really. He is the only one I have lost it with. He stands strong. He really does make me mad, but I like him and it Ok with me if he makes me mad.

This is not unsolvable. We can mark a conservation post with a C and a Liberal post with an L. I might go to both as I am a moderate and on some issues I agree with conservatives and some issues with liberals.

I have been around a long time on this earth. You will never find a group of smart women as we have seen on here in one place. Collage maybe, but even among my smartest friends, I have never had the pleasure of so many wonderful, smart women in one place. I don't want to lose that. Their opinion are music to my ears.

Annette

.

Well I was, and still am, for politics anywhere they'd put it here. Or having to opt in, or even pay. But I thought it was a hard no from admin.?

 

[AGBF]

But I thought it was a hard no from admin.?

Exactly. I am not going to argue and break the rules. If it is no, it is no. If that changes, I will be back for political discussion. smitcompton wrote very persuasively and I agree with her. I have been thinking of many women I loved who posted here and who might return if politics returned. Like MariaD. I always liked The Steam Room (the private room we once had for political discussion). But open discussion or closed, political discussion made Hangout interesting.

 

[Matata]

But I thought it was a hard no from admin.?

That's my impression too. This is just supposition, but I think the abuse Ella endured and the no-win situation she was put in trying to fairly moderate politics is a major reason why the topic likely won't be reinstated. I advocated for a no or light moderation of a hidden forum but even if that had been approved, the people who caused problems before would likely do so again, complaints would be sent to Ella and she'd be in the same position as before.

 

[Arcadian]

you know, in general I had no issue discussing politics, until it got really ugly. And I have said more than once it should be shut down because of it. Its too hot button, too contentious, and people allow their ugly sides to come out because you're not in the same box they are. And there wasn't any agree to disagree, it was too hot for tv!

I personally won't hold a grudge from thread to thread because I don't have time for such foolery. Others are not so gracious however.

I'm glad its gone.

 

[Demon]

That's my impression too. This is just supposition, but I think the abuse Ella endured and the no-win situation she was put in trying to fairly moderate politics is a major reason why the topic likely won't be reinstated. I advocated for a no or light moderation of a hidden forum but even if that had been approved, the people who caused problems before would likely do so again, complaints would be sent to Ella and she'd be in the same position as before.

This is why I would never be asked to moderate anywhere, lol - anyone who had sent abusive emails would have been banned for good. And who knows, maybe some were. No reason to put up with that kind of bs, IMO.

 

[Tekate]

Hi,

Here is some of what bothers me. Those few persons that complained and had these discussions closed don't come here anymore, with the exception of Queenie. And there is only one person that I truly dislike from these discussions and I examined that and found other people in my real life that are the same personality types, I also can't stand.

Kenny and Missy do their best to think up interesting topics for everybody. Many times I read them with no reply. I do like reading every ones opinion.

Kate said that she was upset because she spent a lot of money on diamonds to the advertisers on this board, I mean, doesn't she have a point. In reality she is Pricescopes customer. And my wonderful smart women are Pricescope customers as well. And they are affluent. And Admin has not treated them as valued customers. They are the money ball, along with Kenny and DF.

I don't claim that Pricescope will regain those that have gone, or will entice new posters if you restore open discussions, but I really believe its the "right thing to do". We must always value our democracy.

Last night I saw that Joe Manchin has considered changing his stance on the filibuster. If Joe Manchin can change his mind, then Admin can rethink their position. I was not brave, Matata, as I knew I wouldn't be shot. And Andrey is nice so I guess I thought he also won't ban me.

Basically people here are nice.

Annette

Never gonna get it Annette, I left this place for several reasons, I found the ban lazy, lazy that people complained, management got tired of this stuff and banned it.. but it is their site and their rules. I follow them. But I left, I also left because my life went into a tailspin with building our house (1st world probs)...my closest friend getting extemely ill, the state of the world, all the usual stuff.

I came back recently, it was hard, it's only because I love Missy and you and Callie, Mamabee, mrs-b etc.. people I've talked to in real life or met. (mostly).. I even lost my love of diamonds for a while. We can't change the minds of the owners. I owe the NIRDIs much, they always read my stuff and were kind and understanding and that aura, that good vibe I finally began to miss, but I Hangout is very quiet, I was shocked at how quiet it is, if it hasn't affected the management's revenue there's no reason for them to reconsider anything. I do find reading this that Ella was abused to be very upsetting to me, I only complained a few times (my time out ) but I don't think I abused her, but if she feels that, extending my profound apology Ella.

Hope you are well. I'm of course, late to this thread because I've not been around.

peace and love (you know, all our 60s stuff ) xo

kate

 

[smitcompton]

Hi Kate.

I did miss you. It did not go unnoticed by me as I have always found you very real and honest. You do open your heart in hangout, unguardedly at times, which makes you both unusual, and vulnerable to the comments of others. But, I like people who are real, and you have been brave in sharing yourself on here. Who knows why we find some people that touch us, and while others are nice, they do not affect us in the same way.
The women here were smart, and I did enjoy reading what they had to say. I am glad you have returned and remember that there really are people here who you mean something to. Sometimes people insult us, sometimes we insult them. One of the only things that I learned from DF is not to remain angry or hold the anger. We have to let it go. After all, we have to practice amnesia at times.

Welcome back to the womans room.

Annette

 

[Calliecake]

@smitcompton, @Tekate, @Demon, @doberman, and @Matata , I so miss being able to discuss important topics with you.

 

[Matata]

Thank you @Callicake. I feel honored to be included in that group.