A Very Self-centered Thread (Please Bear With Me)-I Need Advice

[AGBF]

I hesitated about posting this, even though it is about diamonds, because it is so self-centered and self-absorbed. If you cannot bear narcissism, please skip this thread!

I have not been wearing any jewelry (except for a cheap Timex watch) for at least a year. Once in a while when I go out I do put on a pair of sterling Elsa Peretti earrings and, on even rarer occasions, a matching scarf necklace. But these occasions are few and far between. A few years ago I at least put on some high karat gold and diamond pieces for family parties, but I have not even been bothering to do that lately. For instance, tomorrow my brother, his wife, and his mother-in-law are coming down to take my daughter and me to a restaurant to celebrate her birthday. In the past, for a family party, I would have put on a black dress and hose and gotten out my high karat gold and diamonds. I am planning on wearing jeans and no jewelry tomorrow.

For a long time I wanted only one piece of jewelry. I wanted to upgrade my 1.67 carat F color ideal cut solitaire to a 3 carat. But since I wasn't willing to forgo clarity or color, I thought I was going to have to spend over $125,000. I would have had to sell all my major pieces of jewelry to do that and I didn't have the energy to do it.

Now I am looking at prices and seeing that for "only" $65,000 or so I could get a 3 carat ring that is D to F color and VS clarity and well cut. I even saw that even Phoenix' huge ring was for sale for under $120,000.

I wondered if I sold my large red spinel ring and my tanzanite and my diamond solitaire if I wouldn't have close to $45,000. I also have a stone that over 2 carats and beautifully set in a gold bezel and an 18K gold wire necklace. It is not ideal cut but it is high color (I think an E) and VS clarity and was bought when 60/60 was the way to buy a good stone!

So I guess I am wondering if I should put up these four pieces (which are not all my diamonds and not all my high karat gold) and see if I can come up with with which to buy a ring. If I then feel ambitious I can sell one of my other diamonds later-I have one that is about 1.5 carats, a G color, set in a 24K gold bezel ring.

Should I do this? What I think I really want is just a "large" (for me) solitaire. (I wouldn't mind owning Phoenix' ring. Maybe if I also sold all my gold bangles,* which I wouldn't mind parting with, I could pay for it, but I just don't have the energy to sell things!!!)

Advice? I have consigned jewelry and a diamond, but never sold anything on my own! It seems very daunting.

Deb/AGBF

*I have seven 24K solid bangles that weigh tons!

 

[hathalove]

I say sell sell sell!! Sounds like you have been really wanting this upgrade. If you haven’t been wearing any of the other pieces and they aren’t sparking any kind of love then I say yes let them go and put it all into one piece. I’ve done this on a smaller scale and I love my newer pieces way more than what I had to let go to get them.

I will say selling can be some work though. You have to be patient to a certain degree. If you price things well from the start they can go pretty quickly. What people are looking for can also come and go in waves so hard to say.

Also what would happen if only a couple things sold. Then what? Wait it out or... gotta give that some thought too.

 

[TooPatient]

Go for it! Consign if you need to. You might check with Wink and see if he will take them as trade in on a stone of the size and quality you want. The CBI stones are gorgeous!

 

[Bron357]

I have a ton of jewellery, 99% of which I never wear. Now I’m retired I not getting “dressed up” each day wearing different necklaces, rings and earrings to match my outfit.
I think it is an EXCELLENT idea to consolidate your unworn jewellery $$$$ into something that makes your heart sing.
And if I could I would cash in all my stuff and nab that stunner 5 carat of Phoenix- I think at that size DSS will take a long time to set in!
Just do it!

 

[redwood66]

Deb it sounds you really want the one piece. The others, if they are not heirlooms, are just a collection of things you don't wear. If they have no real sentimental value then it seems you are ok with letting them go. I do understand how daunting it is to sell and it will take some time but it sounds like you have pieces that are unique and will sell eventually. It will take patience. You could do it yourself or pay a percentage to consign if you don't feel up to it. The research on prices to ask will take time as well especially if you are thinking of selling many items. Be careful with consignment and only use someone you trust and will patiently work with you if you go that route. Best of luck to you whatever you decide. Phoenix's stone is gorgeous. Would you wear it? I would want to be sure before I committed to such a purchase. Of course you have had quite an emotional year and maybe that is adding to your melancholy regarding wearing your jewelry.

Me - I have no problem selling things that are not sentimental, I sold nearly everything I had to buy two expensive horses.

 

[peacechick]

I say sell too... great way to declutter and get what you really want. Consignment may be the most stress free approach since you do have a lot to sell. I would say though maybe try LT first... you may be surprised. I’m sure lots of PSers would love the opportunity to buy something from you!

 

[Snowdrop13]

Would you wear the 3ct ring? I’m just wondering as you seem to have fallen out of love with wearing jewellery for the moment. I can empathise with the need to tidy up and consolidate your jewellery collection, I feel the same sometimes but also can’t summon up the energy to sell things!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Go for the 5ct!

 

[dk168]

Sell or re-purpose for jewellery that are of reasonable value rather than to have them sit in a box unworn and unloved IMHO.

However, having sold jewellery myself in the past, I would hesitate to do it again, as the most I was able to get for mine was no more than 20%.

It should be noted that none of them had any 'papers', and the biggest single stone was a 0.98ct J/I non-ideal, and majority were made of 14K WG which is not common in UK to this day, let alone over 10 years' ago.

I had more successes selling via eBay and got a bit more than what I received from selling to a jeweller.

I needed the money at the time, tried selling the better pieces via eBay without success and incurred a 3-figure listing bill due to inexperience about selling formats.

I regret selling my engagement ring and the pieces that were made for me gifted by my mum so cheaply. Had I held on to them, I would have re-purposed them for certain, and had a nice range of diamond-only pieces in my collection.

The OP's situation is different in that the high carat pieces if sold via consignment should result in a resonable return better than 20% of the original value.

The high carat gold pieces would most likely be sold as scrap according to going rates on the day.

Is it worth the effort? Only the OP can decide, as it is a lot of efforts.

Good luck.

DK

 

[Austina]

If you’re not wearing the jewellery, and you know you’d wear what you’d like to buy, then sell the rest for the one piece you really want.

 

[OoohShiny]

I have not been wearing any jewelry (except for a cheap Timex watch) for at least a year. Once in a while when I go out I do put on a pair of sterling Elsa Peretti earrings and, on even rarer occasions, a matching scarf necklace. But these occasions are few and far between. A few years ago I at least put on some high karat gold and diamond pieces for family parties, but I have not even been bothering to do that lately. For instance, tomorrow my brother, his wife, and his mother-in-law are coming down to take my daughter and me to a restaurant to celebrate her birthday. In the past, for a family party, I would have put on a black dress and hose and gotten out my high karat gold and diamonds. I am planning on wearing jeans and no jewelry tomorrow.
...
I would have had to sell all my major pieces of jewelry to do that and I didn't have the energy to do it.
...
Should I do this? What I think I really want is just a "large" (for me) solitaire. (I wouldn't mind owning Phoenix' ring. Maybe if I also sold all my gold bangles,* which I wouldn't mind parting with, I could pay for it, but I just don't have the energy to sell things!!!)

For me, a key question is whether you know why you aren't wanting to wear jewellery or get dressed up.

Without wishing to infer or imply anything negative (!!) are you of an age now where you don't feel the need to live up to anyone else's expectations, just your own? Do you feel getting dressed up is pointless because it serves no practical purpose? Do you feel like 'this is me, take it or leave it'? (Did I read on another thread that you don't remove any body hair other than when it's super-hot?) Are you low on energy generally, perhaps through getting older / a diet that could be healthier / not taking enough exercise / long term health issues / dealing with ongoing difficulties n life? Do you think you could be feeling 'stuck in a rut' and/or perhaps suffering a little from depression, where the joy seems to have gone from things? Could booking a Spa Day or weekend for you and your daughter somewhere nice make a lovely break, giving you some enjoyable and relaxing 'me time', letting you be the focus of attention, and perhaps kickstarting the desire to go to the effort of getting all dressed up again?

I don't know... I'm just letting my mind wander out loud and am in no way attempting to imply anything! I just think it's useful to understand why one feels a certain way and you are under no obligation to answer my ramblings lol

I think that having one item of jewellery you always wear is better value than many you wear rarely, when you think of it on a cost-per-wear basis, but don't forget that a 3ct+ rock is going to wear quite large - would it definitely get worn regularly? or just be the one thing you add when you do go out?

Ultimately it doesn't matter either way - if streamlining your jewellery options will help 'tidy your mind', that is a good thing, and whether you wear it every day, only once a month to go out, or just open the safe and play with it in idle moments, you would still be enjoying it more than your other pieces, it seems

All IMVHO, of course, and very likely completely off the mark! lol

 

[Bron357]

When I was younger it was all about variety and quantity, I wasted so much money on “ho hum” pieces it’s embarassing.
As I got older my tastes improved and to get those nicer pieces I had to hold out and save up.
I’ve come to realize it’s better to have 1 drop dead gorgeous ring than 10 “blah blah” ones, ditto bracelets, ditto earrings, ditto necklaces.
So if you have a pile of stuff you aren’t wearing, don’t feel an emotional attachment to (DONT sell sentimental pieces) why not convert them to something better.
The gold bangles you might get “scrap” for from most places but it’s not too hard to list on Loupe Troop (free) and get 10 -15% more because people will pay a bit more to have a lovely bangle. Sell them individually.
Check out different people / companies who sell on consignment, expect to pay a commission but that’s the exchange for “no effort on your part”. There’s also Auction houses (again commission payable) and possibly eBay if you are experienced with that type of selling (its about 13% including PayPal fees) because you do need to be a bit careful in that marketplace.
On the other hand, if you’re feeling a bit flat look into your health, diet and exercise activity to see if there’s a need for a tune up!.

 

[Ellen]

Go for it! Consign if you need to. You might check with Wink and see if he will take them as trade in on a stone of the size and quality you want. The CBI stones are gorgeous!

+1 on all

 

[OoohShiny]

Ooh, thinking about it, you could get the 24k bangles melted down and made into either one or a variety of cool personally-designed pieces!

 

[Ally T]

Deb, think you should go for it & sell as much as you feel you can part with. Sometimes we have too much choice, and that then leads us to be indecisive & end up not wearing anything. If you got rid of choices & purchased one knock out ring that you absolutely loved, it wouldn't leave your finger & you would get great joy from owning & wearing it.

Do it & enjoy the journey!

 

[missy]

@AGBF yes go for it dear Deb. Sell what you don't wear and enjoy for something that is your HG piece that you will love and adore. Do it. We are not all "one ring to rule them all" girls but for those of us who are (and I include myself in that category) this is the way to go. So excited for you and sending you bucketloads of good luck dust that you can make your blingy dreams come true.



Mn4k.mp4

 

[keira]

When I was younger it was about swapping out different types of jewellery during the week. All of my things have diamonds and it was exciting for me to just mix and match. Now as I get older (34) now I am finding myself wearing my nearly 3ct engagement ring, 4ct earrings and a Rolex. It’s my goto now. I don’t want to think about or have time to mix and match.
I think you need to definitely sell what you have, as long as it isn’t sentimental to you. I think it’s much nicer to have one goto piece than have a tonne sitting around.

 

[anne_h]

Hi Deb,

First off, I don't think your post is self-centered. This is a jewelry forum, and you're asking for advice about managing your jewelry collection!

Personally, I've learned that over the years my tastes and budgets have changed. So I do periodically sell pieces I no longer wear to fund other purchases. Like you, I was not interested in doing the legwork myself... so I consigned. So far I have worked with JbG, because I know she has a huge following. My pieces tended to sell quickly, and I generally got asking price... but I do find her fees a bit on the high side. I believe Erika Winters' fees are lower. There may also be other consignors I'm not aware of.

If you want to try selling yourself, I agree with some PPs that LoupeTroupe seems to be working for many people (I've not used it personally). Although if it were me I'd probably sell my biggest ticket items via consignor.

If your pieces have high karat gold and/or GIA-graded diamonds, you will probably have no issues selling them.

Oh, one more thing... so far I've always been waiting to sell pieces before buying others, but I will say I've missed out on a few special items that way. In hindsight, I think it can make sense to to buy a special piece when I find it, and sell other pieces to fund it afterwards. But maybe for the very highest ticket items, this would not be feasible due to cash flow / credit constraints. lol

I think as you ponder a few days, you will figure out which direction you want to move in. Keep us posted!

Anne

 

[Ellen]

Deb, I've been thinking about your thread, and it reminds me in a way of my Aqua journey. I wanted to recut it, but so many on here cried no don't! So I tried living with it for another year, never wearing it. I finally realized life is short, and in some ways, we're not living it for others. So I went ahead and recut it and you know the rest. I can't tell you how happy I was that I did that. My only regret was not doing it sooner. I STILL look at that ring and smile, knowing I did the right thing.

So, if this is what your heart longs for, and it's doable, do it. I seriously doubt you will regret it.

Just my 2 Abe Lincolns

 

[facetgirl]

You may have already done this but if not- why not go buy a nice faux piece of what you are looking for and wear it daily. See if it delivers on what you hope it will and weigh it all out.

You might discover a renewed love for some of the pieces you have and if not, then go for it with no regrets and get that ring! Life is too short. Find something that makes your heart sing.

 

[Karl_K]

Do what makes your heart sing.
Life is to short to have stuff you dont care for when with a little work you can have what you love without harm.
harm = going into debt or spending money that should be spent on necessitates etc.

 

[KristinTech]

I get what you mean about the work of selling. I’m sitting on a (rarely touched) Kanani American Girl doll and lots of accessories. She’s worth a pretty penny, but I just don’t feel like trying to find out how to get top dollar. I know that the extra money will be worth it, though, for the bling budget! But for now she sits in a closet with her silky long hair that I spent an hour brushing out one day, lol.

Sell what you don’t wear! You won’t regret doing the work.

 

[lyra]

Definitely go for it! Pick whichever option you think would suit you. I could easily go from 1.78ct to 3.0ct. I'm not sure I'd wear a 5.0ct, but you do you. My current mindset as a retired person is that every purchase we make now has to really count. That means if we've always wanted something, now is the time to buy things we would really enjoy having. Sort of like a bucket list. It's satisfying too.

 

[MissGotRocks]

First off, please don't feel bad or hesitant about posting this thread. I am sure it resonates with more folks here than you realize.

If you honestly think that having one superb diamond ring would make your heart sing, go for it! I am and always have been in the 'one ring to rule them all' camp. I do have a five stone ring that was an anniversary gift that I wear every day as well. However, my engagement ring will always be my first and largest priority.

I have no idea how much money you could come up with in selling everything that you don't love or wear but I would definitely check into consignment if selling on your own is too daunting. Don't let fear or aggravation stand in the way of what you truly want. Life is short my friend and I get the feeling that a larger solitaire would be loved and treasured by you! I say go!!

 

[AGBF]

Sell or re-purpose for jewellery that are of reasonable value rather than to have them sit in a box unworn and unloved IMHO.

However, having sold jewellery myself in the past, I would hesitate to do it again, as the most I was able to get for mine was no more than 20%.

It should be noted that none of them had any 'papers', and the biggest single stone was a 0.98ct J/I non-ideal, and majority were made of 14K WG which is not common in UK to this day, let alone over 10 years' ago.

I consigned one diamond before and of course I took a major hit on it. But I will say that all of my large stones and almost all of my very small (.5 carat and some under) used as stud earrings and even as side stones on my colored stone rings have GIA or AGS certs. Many are D colored. My tiny stud earrings are D or E colored AGS 000 although they are only .5 carats apiece, etc. I never bought a stone that was lower than GIA VS2 clarity and only one stone as low as as a G color.

 

[chrono]

I don’t wear any jewellery except the same heirloom earrings. Even so, I’m not selling anything in my inventory. These items cannot be duplicated or found anymore. I might enjoy wearing them again one day.

 

[ccuheartnurse]

Deb, I say sell what you don't want. The struggle is real & you absolutely do not come across narcissistic. I'm not sure, & not getting into anything delicate about your personal life with your daughter, if you will be keeping heirloom pieces for her. If so, then keep those & get rid of the rest. Dreamer once coined the phrase "one ring to rule them all". I think a lot of us PS'rs have adopted her opinion. It sure is a pain in the butt to sell but in the end, will be worth it if a large stone is what your heart desires. My only concern is how low in color will you go for size. I've had a G, 4 H's, lots of J's. Helped a lot of friends & family buy I's. While I love my J's, they aren't the same crisp white my G is. For a modern round cut stone, J is the lowest I will compromise for size. Anything lower is out of my comfort zone. Find your comfort zone, maybe H is a good area for you if you are used to high color.
Best of luck Deb.

 

[Octo2005]

Hi Deb!

By all means if your current jewelry is sitting unloved and unused sell it to fund something that sings to you. Not narcissistic at all to want to enjoy things you have worked hard for.

I did notice though that you mentioned not having an interest in dressing up, where you previously would have. I don't know of the rough year mentioned upthread, and it is none of my business, but I wanted to send a hug! It sounds that perhaps you are still just generally feeling out-of-sorts. Sending best wishes and healing thoughts.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

First of all, Deb, as others have said, your post is not self centered considering this is a jewelry forum and we ALL post when we are making decisions about selling or purchasing! This is the ONE safe place to discuss this kind of thing!

I will tell you that 95% of the time, I leave the house with my AVR wedding set on, either studs or hoop earrings, and the RC diamond cross pendant that I leave on all the time because I am too lazy to take it on and off everyday. I enjoy looking at my other special pieces, but I rarely wear them. So if I ever sell any of them, they will be in like new condition!!!

I think selling some things you never wear and doubt you'll ever wear in order to upgrade to 3 cts is a great idea!!! The only problem is that I might want your red spinel ring, and I have no business doing that!!! But let me know the price if you decide to sell before consignment fees come into the picture.

 

[AGBF]

Without wishing to infer or imply anything negative (!!) are you of an age now where you don't feel the need to live up to anyone else's expectations, just your own? Do you feel getting dressed up is pointless because it serves no practical purpose? Do you feel like 'this is me, take it or leave it'? (Did I read on another thread that you don't remove any body hair other than when it's super-hot?) Are you low on energy generally, perhaps through getting older / a diet that could be healthier / not taking enough exercise / long term health issues / dealing with ongoing difficulties n life? Do you think you could be feeling 'stuck in a rut' and/or perhaps suffering a little from depression, where the joy seems to have gone from things? Could booking a Spa Day or weekend for you and your daughter somewhere nice make a lovely break, giving you some enjoyable and relaxing 'me time', letting you be the focus of attention, and perhaps kickstarting the desire to go to the effort of getting all dressed up again?

I don't think you exactly have my number, OoohShiny. I didn't know whether to laugh or be offended!

I do not have much body hair and never did. I am the least hirsute person on earth. The hair on my arms and legs was always platinum blonde and nearly invisible and as I aged it became more and more sparse. I do not believe I ever posted about it (although I might have. God knows I am capable of anything.) I do shave. But the notion of shaving when it is hot makes me giggle. If it is 90 degrees would it help me to cool down if I got out my razor and a magnifying glass and went on a hunt for a hair or two that had eluded me the previous week? I have a daughter who is ethnically very different from me. (She was adopted.) I had to learn how a female with a lot of hair deals with it. My daughter has had laser treatments as well as extensive electrolysis.

As far as diet goes, I am very thin with small bones. People often tell me I look "fragile" or "petite". I also dress well every day. I just do not dress up unless I have a function to attend now.

And taking my daughter with me anywhere makes the day a chore. She is what depresses me. She spent three days with her father in Virginia last week and that was like going to a spa for me! On the other hand, he called me and said he had drunk an entire bottle of wine all by himself after she went to bed and he didn't know how I did it.

Deb