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A typical lady in waiting vent :)

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snogirl17

Shiny_Rock
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Sep 27, 2005
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This is nothing new to the ladies in waiting forum, however the engagement bug has reared it''s oh so ugly head! I was doing really well not to focus on it and just let our relationship take it''s course, and I plan on trying to get to that point again, but 2 of my friends have been proposed to in the last 2 weeks and i am so happy for them, i just cant wait until it is my/our turn. I keep in mind that i am 25 (not that old yet) but i guess i am just ready to start our lives as a married couple. We will be celebrating our 4 year anniversary in June, and I just wish I knew what was happening, but all at the same time, i love the element of surprise!


I guess it is just a dreary old day here in the Midwest and just feeling sorry for myself. I should be able to get back to that state of mind to just let our relationship be ours in a few weeks, just as long as there are no more calls about being engaged :)


Hope all you ladies out there are doing well.
 

MustangFan

Brilliant_Rock
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Feb 27, 2006
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Did he give you any updates on a timeline?
Do you know anything about a ring in the making, maded?

I understand where you are coming from, you have been waiting a looong time like me.
 

snogirl17

Shiny_Rock
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Sep 27, 2005
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Not really, the only thing that i said in August of 06, was that he had 2 years to ask me... i dont know why i extended it that long, but thats what i said.
He said a long time ago that he has designed a ring for me and that he had sent the plans to a jewler somewhere.. i have NO idea on the progress or status of the ring.

Yeah most days it doesnt feel like it has been that long, and it wouldnt be so bad if people would just stop asking, so when are you getting married.. I feel sometimes as though he is waiting for everything to be perfect, but life is never perfect, just perfect moments occur along the way. I guess maybe i will address it with him sometime after our 4 year anniversary.

Thanks for understanding! like i said it is a typical vent around here.. just needed to get it off my chest :)
 

whenharrymetsally

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 21, 2007
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471
beanie,

I''m sure the time will come very soon! and when it does, it will be perfect! Have you guys talked about rings and possible engagement soon? Men are funny creatures. Once in a while they will do something to surprise us and catch us off guard!
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I do feel your fustration! I hate it when people keep asking and its fustrating when everybody around you is getting engaged and/or married! I had given up and had settled into the fact that we were just never going to get engaged. I think all our families have given up to!! but my b/f and I have been together for EIGHT years, living together for 7 and we just last month picked out a ring!! Out of the blue, no warning at all, he decided to take me ring shopping. Now all i have to do is wait..and wait..and wait..and wait!! I figure i''ve been waiting this long..whats another few months.

You have my support! This place is great. We are all here to support each other! I hope it happens very soon for you!
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
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I know exactly how you feel beanie, especially about the part about how you are just waiting for it to be your turn. Its great when friends get engaged but it would be lovely to be ringing them about your plans too!! hopefully it will happen for you soon!!
 

snogirl17

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 27, 2005
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355
thanks for the positive vibes my way. I knew there were ladies here that would understand the frustration of being a LIWFAW... lady in waiting for a while :)

I am 99.9999% sure it wont be soon, but maybe in the next year... perhaps he will just get it over and done with because all my talking about my friends weddings will probally drive him nuts :) HA!
 

cherry_vanilla

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 28, 2006
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76
Hi beanie! I''m another one of those "so how''s next year looking?" LIW which seem to be among the minority (or at least, those knowing from the get-go it''s going to be next year unfortunately as opposed to those who get getting the dated pushed back
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) And it really is odd trying to balance being happy for all your friends - double so if they''ve been dating less time or are younger than you and your BF - while trying not to feel as if there''s something wrong with you since your turn still hasn''t come.

It''s a good place to be, I sure can''t vent to anyone in person short of my boyfriend, and I try to keep THAT to a minimum as right now there''s not much we can do.
 

luvinlife

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 18, 2006
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277
Beanie,

Yes men are funny creatures, but that''s why we love them, right. When my DF proposed, I was wondering if it would ever happen. Heck I only brought it up 40 million times (hehehe). Nevertheless, I never expected him to propose when he did. As a matter of fact the week that he proposed I sent a message to threepwood asking her where her ring was from. Low and behold, my sweetheart already had the custom ring that he has made 3 months before in his possesion. So smile, really the fun is in the journey.

OK, back to studying......

LL
 

dianne

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 18, 2007
Messages
1,052
Hang in there. I have been dating my bf for 14 years! Yep, that''s a "1" and a "4". I feel I must always point out that it is not a typo. We don''t live together. In fact, we bought a house together in 1 1/2 years ago and I live in it by myself. Told him I was starting to like it, too. Can you even imagine how many times we have been asked about a date? We have had the diamond since January and I am trying to decide on a setting so things are finally moving but....geez...
 

snogirl17

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 27, 2005
Messages
355
wow 14 years! well at least you are moving things along, maybe at a slower rate than you had wanted but moving along none the less.

I have sent him hints, we are talked about it.. but why do i feel guilty for talking about it.. i shouldnt after 4 years of dating, 3 of living together. I am so comfortable around him but when it comes to the subject of a proposal, i just feel no so comfortable, like i am ruining his plan or maybe i am hyping it up to much for him and then he thinks i have all these high expectations about the ring and proposal, which of course every girl dreams of that special moment, however no matter how simple or extravagant that moment will be, no matter now small or large that ring will be, wouldnt matter. It means he is asking me to be in his life forever, to grow and learn with him.. i just want to start our lives together as a married couple.

You ladies are the best...
 

dianne

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 18, 2007
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1,052
Date: 4/11/2007 12:19:02 PM
Author: beanie
wow 14 years! well at least you are moving things along, maybe at a slower rate than you had wanted but moving along none the less.

I have sent him hints, we are talked about it.. but why do i feel guilty for talking about it.. i shouldnt after 4 years of dating, 3 of living together. I am so comfortable around him but when it comes to the subject of a proposal, i just feel no so comfortable, like i am ruining his plan or maybe i am hyping it up to much for him and then he thinks i have all these high expectations about the ring and proposal, which of course every girl dreams of that special moment, however no matter how simple or extravagant that moment will be, no matter now small or large that ring will be, wouldnt matter. It means he is asking me to be in his life forever, to grow and learn with him.. i just want to start our lives together as a married couple.

You ladies are the best...
Absolutely!...I totally know what you are saying. I really, really do....((((HUGS))))
 

Miscka

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 9, 2007
Messages
1,938
I love how you call it the engagement "bug". I can totally relate....I am in that stage too where EVERYONE I know is getting engaged. And I will most certainly be an LIWFAW
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along with you. I also share the topic awkwardness. I love my BF a lot, and I feel like he is a part of me, but whenever the topic of engagements comes up I freeze. The other day he asked me what I would say if he jsut got down on one knee and asked me then. I stammered. Not good LIW form if you ask me, he probably thinks I am freaked out and dont want it which is not true. But then whenever he stops talking about it for awhile I get mad. Haha, reading this makes me feel bad for him....

Anyway, Beanie, hang in there! You sound genuinely ready to be a wife, and it will happen when it should!
 

monarch64

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 12, 2005
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19,213
Beanie, you''re not alone! I remember being soooo patient with my now husband until a few of our friends started getting engaged and he was actually helping guys out with choosing their stones!
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After that it was ON, if you know what I mean! Seriously, though, I had to bite the heck out of my tongue after he told me that he''d been "escorting" two of his friends to our now jeweler''s to shop for e-rings and then they got engaged before we did. One night we actually got into an argument about it and he told me that he''d also been using those shopping trips to search for my stone/ring! About a month after that argument we got engaged and were married about 9 months later. I was 25 also at that time!

Your twenties are a tough age, especially with all the engagements/weddings going on...it''s a time of really getting to know yourself and your limits, and how you will react to certain stressors, namely friends getting engaged and married! My best advice is to try to be patient even though it is tough, and be happy for all your friends knowing that you will want them to feel the same for you when your time comes. Good luck to you!
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snogirl17

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 27, 2005
Messages
355
Thanks ladies! See this is my venting post along with other ladies :) I can talk about it here and feel so much better about it so i dont take it home and talk about it all the time and get our feathers ruffled!

Dianne and Miscka sounds like you are in similar boats, how long have you been dating and ready to move to the next step? maybe we can be LIWFAW together!!!
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Monarch- I am so thankful that i am NOT alone!!! otherwise I would be a crazy woman!! I have done alot of growning and I am confident that i know who i am (most of the time, HA!). I would however been just as wild as you were with your husband if my boyfriend would have pulled that card on me.

I am very happy for my friends who are becoming engaged, they are very deserving and their partners are wonderful and wish them all the happiness in the world. I am not jelous of them at all because i know my time will come, hopfully sooner than later, but i know my day of becoming a Mrs to my significant other will come. So it is just the waiting that is the tough part... NO kidding right!!!!!

So until then i shall live though other women here, learning about their wedding planning joys and woes, and experiencing the proposal experience though others on PS.... i am so glad to have stummbled across this site!
 
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